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所以我今早回到了书店 So I go back in the bookstore
然后直接约了他 this morning and I just ask him out.
真有你的 Jack 你真正有了一次约会 Good for you, Jack. You actually got a date
而没借助拨号器和"霸天股"的网名 without the use of a modem and the cybername "Butt Masterson."
恶搞老牌西部片明星 Bat Masterson 同名电视剧曾在 NBC 播出
至少我用了我的"硬"件 没人约的家伙 At least I'm using my hard drive, Celibizia.
不过这还挺浪漫的 It was kind of romantic, though.
我俩纤手相探 Our hands touched as we reached
不约而同地拿起了《莫负当年情·幕后特辑》 for a copy of "The Making Of Beaches."
同志偶像 Bette Midler 于1988年主演的电影
好脏的公寓 肥佬! Holy dirty apartment, Fatman!
对 很吃惊吧 Yeah. Amazing, isn't it?
你能感受到 Fred Sanford 的鬼魂 You can practically feel the presence of Fred Sanford
NBC 电视台七十年代剧集《桑德福和儿子》(Sanford and Son) 主角 讲述坏脾气的废旧品商人和他失意儿子的衰运连连
在我们头上盘旋 hovering above us.
♪ Quincy Jones - Sanford and Son Theme (The Streetbeater) ♪
闭嘴 呆子! Shut up, dummy!
这发生了什么 Grace 在这儿爆炸了吗? So what happened in here? Did Grace explode?
不 No.
是因为年度卓越设计展 It's the annual Sublime Design Showcase.
室内设计师展出他们的作品 Interior designers display their work
供那些设计界的大评论家看 for all these big design critics,
他们的工作基本上就是判断孰好孰坏 and basically they decide who's hot and who's not.
竞争非一般的激烈 It's insanely competitive,
每年她都放手一搏 但屡战屡败 and every year she takes a stab at it and never wins.
她就是设计界的 Susan Lucci She's the Susan Lucci of the design world.
肥皂剧演员 19次艾美奖提名 本集播出三个月后 终获奖
所以我们必须小心对待这个话题 知道吗? So we need to be really sensitive to that, okay?
你知道 我不能... You know, I can't--
并没有... There's no--
并不会... It won't--
我在睡觉! I'm sleeping!
叫醒我... Wake me...
永远不要! never!
看起来 Lucci 女士今年又要失望而归了 Looks like it's gonna be another disappointing year for La Lucci.
本字幕由waggers字幕组与zimuzu联合制作
翻译 黎巴 时间轴 灵媒
第一季 第十二集 窈窕女佣 S01E12 My Fair Maid-y
戏仿奥斯卡影片 My Fair Lady
校对 少尉 Alanz Water
特效 Water 压制 Water
噢 太棒了! 你回来啦! Oh, good! You're back!
快 闻闻这个 Here, smell this.
臭不可闻 对吧? Stinks, doesn't it?
你坐电梯上楼时 可能就在想 You were probably riding up in the elevator thinking,
"有什么东西死掉了吗?" "What died?"
不过别担心 Well, don't worry.
只是我的创造力 在我脑袋里腐烂发臭了 It's just my creativity rotting and stinking in my skull.
那看来你喝过咖啡了? So you've had coffee?
然后我开始磕咖啡因片 Then I started poppin' NoDoz.
- 现在我恨自己恨得天旋地转 - 看得出来 - Now I'm hating myself really fast. - Yeah.
所以我猜 来点巧克力咖啡豆 So I'm guessing the chocolate covered espresso beans
是个糟糕的主意 were a bad idea.
噢 不行 不不不 把它给我 Oh, no-no. No-no-no. Give that to me.
也许我脑子转得超快时 我就能让时光倒流了 Maybe I can get so speedy, I'll actually go back in time.
你知道的 回到我还像那么回事的时候 You know, to when I was actually good.
Grace 看看它 这个就很棒 Grace, look at this. This is good.
糟透了 Horrible.
但是你知道吗 But you know what?
我想我终于找准了我的问题所在 I think I have finally pinpointed my problem.
我烂透了 I suck.
Grace... Grace...
你有能力完成它的 you know how to do this.
是的 当我帮别人寻找他们需求的时候 很容易 Yeah, when I am helping other people realize what they want.
但只靠我自己时 脑子一片空白 But when it's just me, nothing.
我就像一只奇怪的鱼 I mean, I'm like one of those weird fish
就是你总会看到它们跟在鲨鱼屁股后面游的那种 that you always see swimming next to the ass of a shark.
这个比喻能说通 对吧? That almost worked, didn't it?
你说的是寄生现象 我都听懂了 You were going for a whole parasite thing. I was with you.
关键是... The point is...
我没眼光 I have no vision.
Grace 你有眼光 Grace, you have vision.
你不会瞎到连这个都看不到了吧? Are you so blind you can't see that?
嗨 我是 我是April 家政公司派我来的 Hi. I'm-- I'm April. The service sent me.
噢 太好了 我是Will Oh, great. I'm Will.
- 这位是... - 嗨 - And uh... - Hi.
- 那个邋遢大王是 Grace - 啊哈 - that mess over there is Grace. - Uh-huh.
Grace? Grace?
这会让你重振旗鼓 This is gonna cheer you up.
矮个子黑发女? A short brunette woman?
拜托 Will 在大学里我试过了 Come on, Will. I tried that in college.
忘了吗 我确实不太好这口 Remember, it really wasn't my thing.
好吧 你们家应该有自己的清洁用具吧 Well, I hope you have your own cleaning supplies
因为我可什么都没带 cause I'm not packin'
Pack 双关 打包/卷铺盖走人
一个业内小段子 Little industry joke.
这是业内小假笑 that's a little industry laugh.
在水槽下面 Under the sink.
- Will 这是怎么回事? - 我给你找了个清洁工 - Will, what is this? - I got you a cleaning woman.
我知道你必须在干净整洁 I know you can only work
秩序井然的环境下才能工作 when things are neat and clean and orderly.
啊 才怪 强迫症阿姨 那是你吧! Uh, no, Anal Annie, that's you!
我的思绪会被干扰 It'll blow my vibe
如果在我工作时有人走来走去的话 having someone puttering around while I'm trying to work.
不好意思 我们干扰到您哪根思绪了? Excuse me, what vibe are we blowing here?
你已经熬了三天了 I mean, you've been up for three days
就只描了一个你的手掌轮廓 and all you've drawn is an outline of your hand,
画成了只火鸡 made into a turkey.
本来应该是头奶牛的 It was supposed to be a cow.
看吧 我就说我烂透了! See, I told you I suck!
不 亲爱的 这只是... No, honey, it's--
看 看到没 就是只奶牛 Look, see, it's a cow.
好吧 听着 我得走了 All right, look. I've gotta go.
她做她的工作 不会碍你的事 She'll do her thing, she'll stay out of your way.
你做你的工作 如果碰到棘手的问题 You do yours, and if you hit a rough spot,
就这样... just--
很简单 只需要想想你妈的品味 It's easy, just think of your mother's taste,
对吧 然后反其道而行之就行了 you know, and then go the other way.
呃 不好意思 Uh, excuse me.
这张被揉碎扔到地上的草图 This was crumbled up on the floor.
你不会是想扔掉吧? You didn't want to throw this out, did you?
那只是... Oh, uh, that's just um...
那是垃圾 that's garbage.
噢 真的吗 Oh, really?
我觉得挺好看的嘛 这是什么? Looks pretty good to me. What is it?
是一间打坐的禅室 It's a meditation room.
这是一个早期的可悲构想 It was an early, tragic idea.
不 说真的 弹出式的浴盆才可悲 No, actually, the pop-up bidet was tragic.
这个就只是烂而已 This is just bad.
烂 烂 烂 Bad, bad, bad.
噢 天呐 Oh, God.
嘿 嘿 这样吧 你先起来 Hey, hey. Come on, get up.
我在海岸警卫队待过 给你露两手 Let me show you something I learned in the Coast Guard.
来嘛 Come on.
- 来 来 来 - 不要 - Up-up-up. - No, no.
不 不 不 快来 站起来 No-no-no, come on, get up.
首先 闭上眼睛 First, you close your eyes.
然后你到了一个非常安静的地方 Then you get to a really quiet place.
吸气 Breathe in.
安详平静 Calm and serene.
你心底十分安宁 You're peaceful.
然后呼气 And let it out.
你知道 我们在书店邂逅的时候 You know, when we met at the bookstore,
老实说 我压根没想到你是个律师 I have to say, I would never have guessed that you were a lawyer.
怪我的外表看起来太年轻 Probably 'cause I look so young.
实际上 我第一次考律师资格考试就通过了 Actually, I passed the bar the first time I took it,
说来好笑 肯尼迪和我是同一天考的 and um, funny story, John-John was taking it the same day I was.
John-John 美国总统约翰·肯尼迪的儿子小约翰肯尼迪的昵称
只不过他是第三次 For the third time.
你猜怎么着 我是说 And what do you know, I mean,
他坐在我旁边 而这次 他就通过了 he just sits right down next to me, and this time, he passes.
多余的话我就不说了 I'm not gonna say anything else.
你是个聪明人 Alex 你一点就通 You're a smart guy, Alex. You connect the dots.
所以你从事哪方面的法律呢? So what kind of law do you practice?
我不实习 我就撒手干啊 I don't practice, I just do.
我不想只谈我自己了 But I don't want to talk about me anymore.
请你保持肃静 You're out of order.
模仿法庭用语
研究生读得如何? So how's grad school?
目前还不坏 Right now it's not bad.
我现在正在写学位论文 I mean, I'm working on my dissertation,
而且时不时我就能 and every now and then I get to meet
在书店遇见一两个知性帅哥 a cute intellectual type at a bookstore.
运气这么好? You do?
噢 说我呢 噢 真难为情 Oh, me. Oh, I'm sorry.
当然啦 我就是文曲星 Of course, me the Brainiac.
Brainiac DC漫画旗下的反派角色 脑力非凡
聪明人都喜欢订书机 Smarties love to staple.
- 不好意思 - Will 你来啦 - Excuse me? - Will, you're here.
好啊 都什么时候了 你助理就是这么当的? Uh, well, it's about time. You call yourself an assistant?!
事实上 不是 Actually, no.
我也不想让你当了 鉴于你刚刚 Well, I wouldn't either, given the way you
撂电话的失职行为 just abandoned the phones like that.
Alex 这是我的助理 Will Alex, this is my assistant, Will
Will 我是一名律师 这位是 Alex Will, I'm a lawyer and this is Alex.
书店的那位? From the bookstore?
- 噢 嗨 Alex - 嘿 - Oh, hi, Alex. - Hey.
抱歉我迟到了 Sorry I'm late,
McFarland 律师 Lawyer McFarland.
外面印着您名字的门牌 肯定掉下来了 The sign out front with your name on it must have fallen down.
我到处都找不着啊 I've been looking everywhere for it.
是啊 赶紧去解决 Right, uh, get that fixed immediately.
总得给他找点事做 Gotta give him somethin' to do.
好吧 Alex 能让我和 Will 单独待一会吗 Okay, Alex, will you give me and Will a minute, please?
- 我们得处理一些个... - 民事侵权案件? - We gotta go over some uh-- - Torts?
呃 不 不用了 我们还是吃中国菜好了 Uh, no, thanks. We're gonna go for Chinese.
好吧 我就... 在外面等一会吧 You know, I'll just-- I'll wait out front.
- 见到你很高兴 Will - 我也是 - Nice to meet you, Will. - You, too.
好了 好了 我错了 不要生气 不要生气 Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad, don't be mad.
听我解释 我得告诉他我是个人物 Just listen. I had to tell him I was something.
我是说 他今天打给我 I mean, he calls me today
想在我的办公室碰面吃午饭 and wants to meet me in my office for lunch.
听起来多劲爆啊? How hot is that?
终于遇见一个因为你本来的面目 Must be nice to have finally met someone
而喜欢你的人 这感觉一定很棒 that likes you for who you are.
是 是很棒 听我说 Yeah, it's nice, but listen.
请什么都不要说 我保证一定会告诉他的 Please don't say anything. I promise I'll tell him.
我只是得找到合适的时机 I've just got to find the right moment.
噢 也许吃午饭的时候 Oh, maybe during lunch,
你知道的 当他发现 you know, when he finds out that
McFarland 先生买不起麦乐鸡 McFarland can't afford the McNuggets
因为他是个麦乐大骗子 because he's a McLiar.
我恨我自己 I hate myself.
好吧 当然了 亲爱的 Well, of course you do, honey.
哪有人穿着那件十三岁成人礼的打褶衬衫还能开心的? How could anybody be happy in bat mitzvah ruffles?
要不然你跑回家换一件吧? Why don't you run home and change, hmm?
这样我们俩都会好受些 I think we'll both feel better.
我得去样品间小哭一场 I'm gonna have a quick cry in the swatch room.
亲爱的 你还在免费试用那些抗抑郁药吗? Honey, you still test-driving those anti-depressants?
因为我觉得是时候花钱买了 'Cause I think it's time to buy.
我来对地方了吗 这里是 Grace Adler 设计室吗? Am I in the right place, Grace Adler Designs?
地方对了 打扮错了 Right place, wrong outfit.
穿的都是什么东西 亲爱的 这是... What's it all about, honey? What's--
这个 我是... 我是 April Well, I'm-- I'm April,
Grace的清洁工 Grace's cleaning lady.
清洁... Cleaning la--
亲爱的... Honey...
我没必要和你寒暄 快干活去 we shouldn't be talking. Get to work.
从那张大桌子开始打扫 Start with that big table there.
那桌子上不知道哪里有台电话 There's a phone in there somewhere.
响了一早上 快烦死我了 It's been ringin' all morning. It's driving me nuts.
April 你来这里做什么 April, what are you doing here?
你没把钥匙留给我 Oh, you didn't leave the key for me.
噢 天啊 对不起 在这呢 Oh, gosh. Sorry. Here it is.
嘿 嘿 嘿 你这是在干嘛 Hey hey hey hey hey, what are you doin'?
给女佣钥匙? You're giving the maid a key?
下一步你就要从流浪汉那里买回你的首饰了 You're gonna be buying your jewelry back from hobos.
Karen 你怎么还不去吃午饭 Karen, why don't you go to lunch?
亲爱的 这才上午十点 Honey, it's 10:00 in the morning.
在波士顿呢 In Boston.
亲爱的 那真是太... Honey, that is so--
好吧 okay.
噢 不错嘛 你在改进昨天扔掉的那张草图 Oh, great, you're working on that piece you threw out yesterday.
对 看看我能不能把它变得更糟 我觉得我做到了 Yup, seeing if I can make it worse. I think I did it.
对 我设计的这间禅室 Yup, designed a meditation room
能让达赖喇嘛狂抽理查·基尔几嘴巴 that could move the Dalai Lama to bitch-slap Richard Gere.
Richard Gere 好莱坞男星 达赖喇嘛的狂热追随者
呵欠 Yawn.
- 这是什么反应? - 你太无趣了 - Excuse me? - You're boring.
我讨厌自我厌恶的人 I hate people getting down on themselves.
你也会厌恶自己的 如果你有... You'd get down on yourself, too, if you had a--
如果什么 如果我有你的才华? If what? If I had your talent?
每当我厌恶自己的时候 When I'd get down on myself,
我妈妈总有一句很管用的话来安慰我 my mom had this saying that always made me feel better.
让我想想她怎么说的 Let me see how she put it.
我试试能不能找到感觉 Let see if I can get it right.
你妈该不会是 Sam Kinnison 吧? Your mother wasn't Sam Kinnison by any chance, was she?
喜剧演员 以其标志性尖叫著称
嗯 你门牌上写的是什么? Well, what does it say on your door?
写的并不是"Grace Adler 牢骚屋" It doesn't say "Grace Adler Whines,"
而是"Grace Adler 设计室" It says "Grace Adler Designs,"
所以别再妄自菲薄了 放手做就行 so quit beating yourself up and just do it.
可是我不... But I can't--
快做! 快做! Do it! Do it!
知道了 知道了 Okay, okay.
你知道的 同样是传达鼓劲的意思 人家 Mary Poppins You know, Mary Poppins got the same message across,
可是用一首美妙的音乐剧唱出来的 but she did it in a nice little musical number.
《欢乐满人间》(Mary Poppins) 的主人公 改编自同名小说 讲述会魔法的保姆用音乐教育两个顽皮孩童的故事
你就像... You're like--
你就像一记"辣手摧花" you're like a spoonful of whup-ass.
你知道我能怎么做吗? 我可以加一点香氛元素... You know what I can do? I could add the element of scent--
一台香薰机... an aromatherapy machine that would--
好蠢 别人会以为... Tsk, stupid. People will think...
啊! Agh!
我是个天才 l'm brilliant.
天啊 我们就不能用个大喇叭把她换了吗 God, can't we just trade her in for a buzzer?
早上好 姑娘们... 'Morning, ladies...
还有 Karen Karen.
好吧 你带April来上班 一次我能接受 Okay, you bring April to work once, I can accept that.
两次 也没问题 袜子我可以自己叠 Twice, no problem. I can fold my own socks,
但是一周五次? but five days a week?
我那条试用的浴帘都长霉了 I've got mold on my shower curtain that is in escrow.
Will 我说不清 Will, I can't explain it,
但是只要有她在身边 不管什么时候我都能才思如泉涌 but whenever she's around, I get the most amazing ideas.
Will 你得相信我 Will, you have to trust me on this.
要做这件事 我不能没有她 I can't do this without her.
让我理理 你离开我们的女佣就没法做设计? Let me get this straight. You can't design without our maid?
- 准确 - 是啊 - Exactly. - Yeah.
不 我听说过这种情况 这叫 Hazel 综合症 No, I've heard about this. It's called the Hazel Syndrome.
Hazel 美国六十年代喜剧 讲述一位能干女佣的故事 男主角对其非常依赖
是啊 Yeah.
他们会在精神病院里解释给你听的 Blanche They'll explain it all to you in the nervous hospital, Blanche.
《欲望号街车》(A Streetcar Named Desire) 女主角 由费雯·丽 (Vivien Leigh) 饰演
"是啊 这些指甲该剪了" "Yeah, these fingernails'll have to be trimmed."
《欲望号街车》(A Streetcar Named Desire) 台词
你是一位杰出的设计师 你干嘛非得这样 You're a brilliant designer. Why do you need this?
我就是要 I just do.
你为什么就不能稍微地支持一下我呢 Why can't you be a little more supportive about it?
好吧 我这样支持你吧: Okay, here's me being supportive:
Grace 你有些... Grace, you're a little--
好吗 Okay?
你指望我们的女佣 来帮忙完成你的工作 You're relying on our maid to do your job.
梁思成有让他的管家帮他画设计图吗 Did Mr. Brady ask Alice to help with the architecture?!
Brady 和 Alice 均为七十年代喜剧《脱线家族》(The Brady Bunch) 中的角色
我知道你想玩什么把戏 妹妹 I've got your number, sister.
我看过《彗星美人》 I've seen "All About Eve."
讲述女助理博取女明星信任后鸠占鹊巢的奥斯卡影片
谁? Who?
"可怜的Eve!" "Poor Eve."
是啊 没错 继续吧 Yeah, that's right, go ahead.
扮演那个贫穷而天真 有着金子般心灵的的小女仆吧 Play the poor, naive little maid with the heart of gold.
但是我得给 Grace 撑腰! But I've got Grace's back!
相信我 在这个版本里你是拿不到托尼奖的 Trust me, you're not going to win the Tony in this version.
基于影片改编的百老汇音乐剧 Applause 获得第24届托尼奖最佳音乐剧奖和最佳音乐剧女主角奖
你说的我完全听不懂 I don't know what you're talking about,
我只是想帮助 Grace I just want to help Grace.
你演得真好 You're good.
起来 起来 起来 起来! Get up, get up, get up, get up!
他马上就到 He's gonna be here any minute.
- 谁? - 别跟我玩把戏! - Who? - Don't play games with me!
是 Alex 拜托 Will 他就是我的真命天子 Alex. Come on, Will, he's the one.
这一次我很确定 I'm sure of it this time.
我以为 Robert 才是 I thought Robert was the one.
Robert 是很可爱 我该给他打个电话 Robert was cute. I should call him.
起来 快起来! Get up, get up!
我以为你已经告诉 Alex 你不是律师了 I thought you were gonna tell Alex that you are not a lawyer.
我说谎了 原谅我 I lied. Forgive me.
我入戏太深 I was in character.
我为什么要帮你? Why should I do this?
看看我 Will Look at me, Will.
想想你可以从我的困境中 Think of how many funny little Jack stories
汲取多少 Jack 糗事 you can spin out of this predicament.
这可是个一等一的槽料包 This is grade-A fodder
对你这样的贱人来说 for a bitch like you.
请上座 老板 Have a seat, boss.
- 好的 我看起来如何 - 靓眼 - Okay, how do I look? - Great.
谁能想到你穿衣服 也这么快呀? Who'd have thought that you could put clothes on that fast?
奇迹 Amazing.
不好意思 律师先生 这是你的自行车锁吗? Excuse me, Mr. Lawyer, is this your bike lock?
不好意思 可以让我在我的办公室里一个人好好待一会吗? Excuse me, can I just be alone in my office for a minute please?
当然 我只不过是想到 你知道 既然你的车锁在这儿 Sure. No, I just thought, you know, with your bike lock here
你的自行车又在外边 and your bike out there,
作为一个称职的助理 我有责任提醒一下 as a good assistant, I should mention that.
见鬼! Damn it!
Alex! 帮我拖一下! Alex! Kill time!
槽点何其多 奈何良辰少 So much fodder, so little time.
Alex 快进来 Jack 刚刚去锁... Alex, come on in. Jack's just locking up...
一桩案子 a deal.
他马上... 他马上就回来 He'll be-- he'll back in.
那么... Jack 是个怎样的老板? So-- what's uh, Jack like as a boss?
霸道跋扈 Imperious.
十足的女王蜂 Very much the queen bee.
噢 Alex 我太意外了 Oh, Alex, what a surprise.
唔 我有点喘不过气 Uh, I'm a little out of breath.
噢? 陪审团悬而不决了? Oh? Hung jury?
你这头猪 出去 You're a pig, get out.
噢 这裤子 呃 对 我得 呃 Oh, the pants. Uh, yeah, I'm just uh,
案不离手 脚不沾地 running from case to case.
- 你还好吗? - 我还不错 - So, how you doin'? - I'm okay.
好的 让我查查我的日程表 Great, let me just check my call sheet
待会我们再去吃个午饭 and we'll grab a little lunch.
事实上我只想跟你说点事 Actually, I just want to talk to you.
呃 听我说 Jack Uh, listen, Jack.
你是个好人 但... You're a great guy, but--
我正在听"是个好人"的发卡宣言吗 是吗? I'm getting the "Great guy, but" Speech, huh?
主要是你和我 It's just that you and I
生活中的地位相差太大了 are in such different places in our lives.
我有点空虚 迷茫 I mean, I'm kinda lost and aimless.
我没几周就要换一份工作 I've got a new job every couple of weeks.
而你是如此谨言慎行 专业 稳健 成熟 You're like this buttoned up, professional, stable, mature,
目标明确 负责任 goal-oriented, responsible.
噢不 我不是律师 我是个骗子 Oh, no. I'm not a lawyer, I'm a liar.
Jack 这行不通的 Jack, it's not gonna work out.
好吧 我明白了 我觉得你可以走了 All right, I see. Then I think you should go.
我现在手上事情太多 I've got a lot on my plate right now,
很可能会伤你的心 and I'd probably break your heart.
- 无论如何... - 对了 还有一件事 - Anyway-- - Listen, one more thing.
有点尴尬 但... It's a little awkward, but...
我在想 你能不能撮合一下我和你的助理 I wondered if you could fix me up with your assistant.
我的助... Will? My as-- Will?
- 不... - 我是觉得 他看起来也有点迷茫 - No... - I mean, he just seem a little lost
和我一样 而我... 我挺喜欢的 Iike me, and I-- I kind of like that.
他是直男 He's straight.
她在哪里 April 在哪里? Where is she? Where is April?
"可怜的Eve" "Poor Eve."
你可以消停会吗? Would you stop doing that?
她知道是今天晚上的 She knows it's this evening.
她会在哪里呢? Where could she be?
我完全不惊讶 I can't say that I'm surprised.
你能把女佣带出你家 I mean, you can take the maid out of the house,
但你不能带... but you can't take the...
Karen 如果你这是在帮忙 Karen, if this is you helping,
那就不必了 stop helping.
可是 我... Well, I--
你知道那些石头还需要添点什么吗? You know what those rocks need?
一些威士忌(加冰) A little Scotch.
听着 Grace 我... Listen, Grace, I...
我只是想告诉你 I just wanted to point out that
在你这几天的"April 东""April 西"之后 after all of your "April this" And "April that,"
在你最需要帮助的时候 是谁站在这里? who is here for you in your hour of need?
是我 对吧? Me. Huh?
谁又会一直守护着你? And who will always be there for you?
哈 什么 噢? Huh, what? Oh?
噢 没错 是我 Oh, yeah, it's me.
谢谢你 Karen Thank you, Karen.
我真的很感激 I really appreciate it.
随便了 听着 我得走了 Anyway, look, I gotta run.
我一小时后有个盐浴要做 I got a salt scrub in an hour.
这不对劲 This is wrong.
全都不对劲 It's all wrong.
你也是 你放在那里太不对劲了 And you, you are so wrong there.
和枕头聊天? Talking to pillows?
哇哦 你就像家具界的怪医杜立德 Wow, you're like the Doctor Doolittle of furniture.
《怪医杜立德》(Doctor Dolittle) 艾迪·墨菲 (Eddie Murphy) 主演的喜剧电影 杜立德医生能够听懂动物的说话
你在做什么? What are you doing?
我们对地板有五种不同的方案 We had five different options for a floor plan.
April 本来早该到了 我们就能拍板一种 April was supposed to be here early so we could agree on one.
现在我得全靠自己了 看这个 看 I've had to do it all by myself, and look, look.
这 这 这只是... 全是垃圾 It's, it's, it's just-- it's crap.
- 这很棒 - 噢 你又懂什么 - It's fantastic. - Oh, what do you know?
至少 可能比女佣懂的还是多一点吧 Well, maybe a little bit more than the maid.
毕竟我是 gay 啊 I am gay, after all.
也许我应该用方案二的 Maybe I should try the second choice.
- 帮我搬下箪笥箱 - 不搬 - Help me move the Tansu chest. - No.
Grace 你在干嘛 Grace, what are you doing?
别管它了 Just leave it.
可是放在这边的话更好看 It's gonna look better over here.
你能把它放在原来的地方吗? Would you leave it where it is?
停下! Stop it!
为什么我有种在靶场的感觉? Why do I feel like I'm in a shooting gallery?
屏风? Screens?
我是怎么想的? What was I thinking?
这就像一家糟糕的中餐厅 It's like a bad Chinese restaurant.
行啊 站在这禅室里 却生了一肚子闷气 Okay, getting a little angry here in the meditation room.
这就是你追求的吗? Is that what you were going for?
如果你想帮我 If you want to help me,
就给 April 打电话 you will get April on the phone.
那好 你可以别再提她了 因为她不来了 Well, you can stop saying that because she's not coming.
- 你怎么知道 - 因为我付钱让她别来 - How do you know? - Because I paid her not to come.
- 什么? - 你不需要她 Grace - What? - You don't need her, Grace.
你是自己独立完成这个房间设计的 You did this whole room yourself.
你付钱给 April 让她别来? You paid April not to come?
噢天... Oh my--
好吧 Will 告诉我 Okay, Will, tell me.
现在我将在大庭广众下受的羞辱值多少钱? How much does my public humiliation go for these days?
100大洋 还有一张免费拖把兑换券 100 bucks and a coupon for a free mop.
听着 你现在很可笑 Look, you're being ridiculous.
她根本什么都没做 She didn't do anything,
就会一个劲的咆哮"啊!" except go "Agh!"
噢 你胆敢嘲笑"啊!" Oh, don't you dare mock the "Agh!"
我对"啊!"没有感情 I have no connection to the "Agh!"
你憎恨"啊!" You resent the "Agh!"
- 你害怕"啊!" - 好的 听着 - You fear the "Agh!" - Okay, look.
我现在不和你争了 因为坦率地讲 I'm gonna stop doing this right now, because frankly,
这有点让人难堪 it's a little embarrassing.
你很棒 You're brilliant.
这一整周我都在告诉你这句话 但不知道为什么 I've told you this all week long, but for whatever reason,
你根本听不进去 you won't listen to me.
Will 你错了! 这根本不好! Will, you are wrong! This isn't good!
- 说实话 他是对的 - 噢 你又算老几? - Actually, he's right. - Oh, who the hell are you?
我是《东海岸生活》的设计评论师 I'm the design critic from "East Coast Living."
欢迎莅临我的禅想空间 Welcome to my meditation space.
祝贺你 你今天超棒的 Well, congratulations. You kicked boo-tay.
快说 "我超棒" Say it, "I kicked boo-tay."
我超棒 I kicked booty.
我感应到你现在要感谢我 I think now I sense you're going to thank me.
喔 不 因为说实话 我还在生你的气 Uh, no, because actually, I'm still mad at you.
不 更正 你想要生我的气 No, correction. You want to be mad at me,
但气不起来 因为 首先 我是对的 但... but you can't, because A i was right; but...
其次 这间禅室简直太美好了 B this meditation room is just too good.
宁静 Peace.
一体 Oneness.
哞 Om.
谢谢你 Thank you.
哞 Om.
我们回家唷 Let's go home.
为啥回家唷? Why home?
我的屁股下硌着块石头唷 There's a rock in my bum.
还好不是你的玉指头唷 At least it's not your thumb.
现在越来越麻了唷 Now it's going numb.
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