嘿 吉米 Hey, Jimmy!
高山退休人员汽车旅馆
谢谢 Thanks.
栅栏还牢靠吗 How's that fence holding up?
挺好 吉米 Fine, Jimmy.
听到提示音时 At the sound of the tone,
时间是2点58分30秒 the time will be 2:58 and 30 seconds.
嘿 林格 Hey, Ringo.
我们看到哪集了 What episode are we on?
第15集 Uh, 15.
《替死鬼》
你那边昨晚停电了吗 Did your power go out last night?
没有 Nope.
我这边停了 Mine did.
现在又来了 It's back on now.
可能是连接处松了 Probably a loose hook-up.
如果你觉得这特技太危险了 So if you think this stunt is a little too dangerous,
那我们就想点别的 then we can come up with something else.
我们还是按剧本来吧 We'll stick to the script.
没错 柯尔特说得对 我们想靠这片子 Yeah, Colt's right. The only way we stand a chance
挣到钱的唯一办法就是不要超预算 of making a buck on this picture is if we come in on budget.
预算不要紧 全世界都等着看我的剧本呢 The budget doesn't matter; the world's waiting to see my script.
拜托 哈利 你不会真以为 Come on, Harry, do you really think
全世界都在等着看一部 that the world is waiting to see
叫《死亡汽车妓女》的低成本电影吧 a low-budget flick called... Death Car Hookers.
该死的 Goddamn it.
快点 Come on.
我重写了洗车那场戏 要在外面拍 这样我们省... I rewrote the car wash scene, so we do it outside and we save...
好呀 伯特 Hey-ya, Burt.
我们就想问问你想不想跟我们一起出去走走 We were just wondering if you wanted to take a walk with us.
走去哪儿 A walk to where?
就随便走走 图个乐子 Uh, just a little walk. For fun.
加油站在卖什么波霸奶茶 The gas station's selling something called boba tea.
那帮老不死的 Goddamn old people.
《替死鬼》 ‭That Fall Guy.
*要知道 在你心里* ♪ And you know, in your heart ♪
*毫无道理* ♪ There is no reason ♪
*他再难改你心意* ♪ He can no more change your mind ♪
*就像你无法改变四季* ♪ Than you can change a season ♪
*从你跟他道别起 过去多久了* ♪ How long has it been, since you said good-bye to him? ♪
*过去多久了* ♪ How long has it been? ♪
嘿 吉米 Hey, Jimmy.
表现不错 Good set.
我以前还从没听过男生唱玛瑞斯·布鲁克斯的《贱人》 I've never heard a guy do Meredith Brooks's "Bitch" Before.
挺不错的 It was pretty cool.
我读了你推荐的那本书 I read that book you recommended,
《亨宁·曼凯尔回忆录》 the Henning Mankell memoir.
真的好感人 It was really affecting.
是啊 Of course.
如果你喜欢的话 我可以再给你推荐几本 Yeah, I'll give you some more recommendations, if you like.
谢谢 Thanks.
你想开车去玩玩什么的吗 Hey, do you want to go for a drive, or something?
去哪里 To where?
不去哪儿 就...兜兜风 Nowhere, just... for fun.
我不能去 但谢谢你 I can't, but thank you.
嘿 吉米 Hey, Jimmy.
慢点 伯特 Slow down, Burt.
《基础配电教程》
《运动和消遣》还没还回来 A Sport and a Pastime isn't in yet,
但我们可以给你发邮件 but we can e-mail you.
我没有电邮 I don't have e-mail.
我们现在也可以发短信 Oh, well, we have SMS now.
我没有手机 I don't have a cell phone.
我回头再来 I'll check back.
我发誓 那个《替死鬼》 I swear, that Fall Guy.
知道我们该做什么吗 林格 You know what we should do, Ringo?
等天气回暖了 ‭When the weather gets a little warmer,
拿一台投影仪 get one of those projectors,
到我的房车边 在星空下看《替死鬼》 watch Fall Guy on the side of my trailer, under the stars.
-太棒了 -再看一集 - Great idea. - ‭One more episode.
我想看看西弗斯会不会骑那辆摩托艇后空翻 I want to see if Seavers is gonna land that Jet Ski backflip.
他们有棉花糖全麦饼 They have fluffer-grahams.
好呀 伯特 Hey-ya, Burt.
这是在干什么 What is this?
克利福德的孩子们从新罕布什尔州过来探亲 Clifford's kids are visiting from New Hampshire.
跟伯特打个招呼吧 Say hi to Burt, family.
我给你倒杯夏布利酒好吗 Can I, uh, pour you a glass of Chablis?
你能买到最好的盒装酒 Best boxed wine money can buy.
好吧 I guess.
我刚要开始演奏一首曲子 希望你不介意 I was just about to play a song, I hope you don't mind.
要命了 Oh, God.
别抱怨 臭脾气的老头 Oh, hush, you old grump.
♪年少的丹尼♪ ♪ Oh, Danny boy ♪
♪风笛 风笛♪ ♪ The pipes, the pipes ♪
♪在呼唤♪ ♪ Are calling ♪
♪在峡谷间回响♪ ♪ From glen to glen ♪
♪沿山腰而下♪ ♪ And down the mountainside ♪
♪夏日已逝♪ ♪ The summer's gone ♪
♪玫瑰尽凋零♪ ♪ And all the roses...♪
你住在这里吗 Do you live here?
你问这个干什么 Why are you asking?
这里是给老人们住的 This place is for old people.
是吗 Is it?
你为什么要住在这儿 So why are you here?
因为有空位 走开 They had a vacancy; go away.
但这里是给老人住的 But this place is for old people.
我们的对话在不断重复啊 This is getting very repetitive.
你奶奶住在这里吗 Does your grandma live here?
天呐 Oh, my God.
我奶奶没住在任何地方 My grandmother doesn't live anywhere.
-他住在这儿 -你为什么要住在这里 - He lives here. - Why do you live here?
我跟你们说 我... I'll tell you what, I...
美国的意义就在于 The entire point of the United States
保障人们的自主权和个人自由 is the guarantee of autonomy and personal liberty.
什么意思 What does that mean?
意思就是 It means,
他为什么要住在这里关你们屁事 it's none of your goddamn business why he's living here.
冷静点 Hey, now.
-伯特 -你给我闭嘴 - Burt. - You shut up.
克利福德 管好你的家人 Clifford, control your family.
伯特 Burt.
去死吧 To hell with this.
我再来点 I'll have some more.
S'more指夹心饼干
这名字可比"棉花糖饼干"好听多了 That's a much better name than "Fluffer-grahams."
该死的 Goddamn it.
妈的 Son of a...
你能安静点吗 Would you please shut up?
我钥匙丢了 没在挂钩上 I lost my goddamn keys, they're not on the hook!
那请你务必要把我从春梦中叫醒 Oh. Well, then, by all means, wake me from my erotic slumber.
珍妮丝·贾普林要上台表演了呢 Janis Joplin was just about to go on stage.
我一直把钥匙挂在钥匙挂钩上 I always put them on a goddamn key hook.
但现在不见了 But they're not there.
王八蛋 Son of a gun,
操他奶奶的 shit turd pile.
我们看到第22集 We're on episode 22.
老天 你这破记性 Jesus, man, your memory.
我不想看电视 I don't want to watch.
什么 你又有朋友死了吗 What? Did more of your friends die?
还以为你早就习惯了 快点 You think you'd be used to it by now. Come on.
那是个傻逼剧 It's a stupid show.
他是特技演员还是打击罪案的斗士 What is he, a stuntman or a crime fighter?
选一个 他活在谎言之中 Pick one. He's living a lie.
好吧 我们去图书馆选别的剧 Fine. Well, let's go to the library and pick something else out.
有个剧叫做《纳什布里奇斯》 There's a, there's a little show called Nash Bridges.
我他妈没找到钥匙 I don't have my goddamn keys.
钥匙丢了我们还怎么去图书馆 How can we go to the library if my keys are missing?
你觉得钥匙会在这个装破烂的盒子里吗 What, and you think they'll be in this box of old crap?
我不知道 我到处都找遍了 I don't know. I've looked everywhere.
妈的 Goddamn.
那是我和马蒂·萨曼斯基 Me and Marty Szymanski.
我们在60年代曾骑摩托车横跨澳洲 We rode motorcycles across Australia in the '60s.
一只该死的小袋鼠害我在时速50英里时翻车了 A goddamn wallaby made me lay down going 50.
胫骨骨折了 Fractured my tibia.
那是段美妙的旅程 It was a great trip.
去图书馆 我开车 Right, library. I'll drive.
好吧 林格 但宝马是给女导游开的 Fine, Ringo. But BMWs are for lady travel agents.
我在后座躺下 这样不会被看见 I'll lie down in back so no one sees me.
《纸牌屋》 House of Cards.
《天龙特攻队》 A-Team.
《奇迹降临》 《朽木》 Wonderfalls. Deadwood.
故事发生在你的童年时期 Takes place when you were a child.
《丑女贝蒂》 Ugly Betty.
《侧写师》 The Profiler.
你说得对 这里可选择的剧简直悲哀 Yeah, you're right. The DVD selection is pathetic here.
但对一个把税款都用在阿片类药物治疗 But what do you expect from a town whose tax money
和灭树皮甲虫的小城镇 还能有什么期望呢 all goes to opioid treatment and bark beetle eradication?
我们可以开车去城里 We could drive into town.
你为什么不直接打电话叫锁匠帮你打新的钥匙 Why don't you just call a locksmith to make you new keys?
我才不会花他妈500块 I'm not gonna pay someone 500 goddamn dollars
让人给我的车打一把新钥匙 to make a new key for my own goddamn car.
那正是我们不需要的东西 更多垃圾和困惑 That's exactly what we don't need: more garbage and confusion.
这个国家里的每样东西都是可丢弃的 Everything in this country is disposable!
任何东西出了问题 就丢掉 Something goes wrong, throw it out!
开车去沃尔玛 再买个新的 Drive to Walmart. Buy a new one.
你没法开车去 没钥匙 傻了吧 You can't. No keys. Burn.
找中国人配一副 一块多就搞定 Chinese can make you another, three cents on the dollar.
就算上面有狗屎和有毒油漆又怎么样 Who cares if it's covered in dog dust and toxic paint?
那是我的钥匙 我必须找回来 They're my keys and I need to have my keys!
妈的 Goddamn it!
《洛城法网》 L.A. Law.
上车吧 Just get in.
不 那辆车是我的全部 No. That car is all I have.
你不是跟那个马蒂一起玩过摩托吗 What about you and Marty whatever with the motorcycles?
马蒂1997年就死了 Marty died in 1997.
对 我的意思是还有照片嘛 No, I meant you have the photo.
伯特 Burt?
伯特 伯特 Burt. Burt!
你要干什么... 伯... What are you...? B...
真是个疯子 Lunatic.
好啊 吉米 Hello, Jimmy.
这几天伯特情况如何 So, uh, how's Burt been the last few days?
让人不能忍 Appalling.
说实话 他就跟个泼妇似的 He's acting like a little bitch, frankly.
突然发脾气跑进了树林里 He threw a tantrum and ran into the woods.
估计已经死在哪条沟里了 He's probably dead in a gulley by now.
我就担心这个 I was afraid of that.
他肯定非常不适应 This must be a big adjustment for him.
我知道他有多喜欢那辆破车 I know how much he loves that silly car.
要是有什么能转移他注意力 There's anything you can do to help keep his mind off it
或者能让他开心点... or cheer him up a little bit...
听我说 Listen.
我能跟你实话实说吗 吉米 Can I confide in you, Jimmy?
-求你别说 -就是 - Please don't. ‭- It's just that...
有点眼力见儿 格尔 Read the room, Gail.
其实在你出现之前 Even before you turned up,
伯特就已经... Burt had already been...
我们觉得他还是不开车比较好 we concluded it was best if he didn't drive anymore,
所以我拿走了他的车钥匙 so I took his keys.
我也不想骗他 I hate to deceive him,
但他不愿接受现实 but he won't face reality.
有些事 我现在也做不了了 There are certain things I can't do anymore.
不能弯腰 不能不带放大镜看书 Bend down. Read without a magnifying glass.
不能来月经 Menstruate.
重点是 可以学新东西啊 The point is, you learn new things.
我在学超文本链接标示语言 还有玻璃吹制 Like, I'm learning HTML and glassblowing.
这个水母就是我做的 I made this jellyfish.
话又说回来 我... Anyway, I...
我们很关心他 we just care about him a lot.
请你帮忙保密 Thanks for keeping this between us.
格尔 满分10分能打8分 Gail. Eight out of ten.
我愿意上她 Would bang.
慢点 慢点 伯特 Slow down! Slow down, Burt!
老天爷啊 Jesus Christ!
不行 Nope.
那个疯婆子格尔 还以为你不会告诉我 That batty Gail, thinking you wouldn't tell me.
我真该报警把她抓起来 I should have had her arrested.
现在也来得及 I still might.
我们都有一项不可剥夺的权利 The one inalienable right we all have
那就是不被别人干涉的权利 is the right to be left alone.
我的那些同伴 其实很可悲 吉米 It's sad, Jimmy, these people, my peers,
他们曾经那么强壮 勇敢 年轻 they used to be robust, ballsy, young.
现在变成一群空壳 抱着团面对什么 死亡吗 Now they're these husks huddled against what, death?
极度恐惧生活 So petrified of life
一旦看到别人真正享受生活 that the minute they see someone actually living,
就必须阻止对方 那样才不会让他们想起 they have to shut it down so it doesn't remind them
他们多年前就放弃了 they gave up years ago.
好吧 终于能继续看剧了 Right. Now we can finally get back to it.
《洛城法网》 L.A. Law.
虽然是部老剧 但如果忽视掉那些土鳖发型 It's a bit dated, but there's a satisfying Albee-esque bite
以及松垮的西服 还有点艾尔比的风格 if you can see past the mullets and baggy suits.
失去车之后让我觉得... Being without my car made me feel...
觉得自己很老 I felt old.
跟他们一样 Like them.
所以 我要上路了 So, I'm hitting the road.
什么 What?
我以前住在开普科勒尔 I used to live in Cape Coral.
我打算开车去看看 有什么变化 I figure I'll drive down, see how it's changed,
去基斯村见见我那些海军战友们 and visit some of my old buddies from the navy down in the Keys,
前提是还有人活着 if any of them are still alive.
大概要五六天才能到 I'm talking five, six days to get down there,
一个人驰骋在路上 just me and the open road.
你真的要走吗 Are you seriously leaving?
别难过 林格 Don't cry, Ringo.
没有我 你依然可以看《洛城法网》啊 You can watch L.A. Whatever without me.
关键是 The thing is...
没错 格尔对草坪装饰 Yes, Gail has terrible taste in lawn ornaments
文学和慢跑服的品味都糟糕透顶 and literature and jogging attire,
但也许...她说的有道理呢 but maybe she has a point?
你开车碾过我的炭火盆三次 老兄 You ran over my hibachi three times, man.
不 才没有 No, I didn't.
什么 不 首先 你确实这么做过 What? Okay, well, yes, you did, first of all.
你还否认 真让人担心啊 That is disturbing that you deny it.
但听我说 伯特 But listen, Burt,
我并不想居高临下地教育你 right, I'm not gonna talk down to you, okay?
你也是成年人 You are an adult.
但是天啊 任何人罔顾事实 My God, it's pathetic for anyone
终日活在幻想里都是可悲的好吗 to live in anything but the truth. Okay?
而你的事实就是 伯特 你不能再开车了 And your truth is, Burt, you are no longer a driver.
我以前觉得这还挺有趣的 I-I used to find it amusing.
老人家 开辆改装车 Old man in a hot rod.
但格尔是对的 你很危险 But Gail is right. You are dangerous.
不 我才不是 No, I'm not.
而且即使你开到了佛州 你也是孤身一人 And... even if you make it to Florida, you're gonna be alone.
我喜欢一个人待着 I like being alone.
伯特 这里有关心你的人 Burt, you have people here who care about you.
但在佛州 一个都没有 Out there, zero.
你就...现实点儿吧 老兄 Just... live in reality, man.
你是认真的吗 You're serious?!
你还躲在老人社区呢 You've been hiding out in a retirement community
唯一的朋友就是个勉强能忍受你的71岁老头子 where your only friend is a 71-year-old who can barely stand you.
已经三个月了 It's been three months.
你有没有想过 You ever wonder
我为什么从来不问你在逃避什么 why I never asked what you're hiding from?
因为这不关我的屁事 Because it's none of my goddamn business!
但在干涉我的生活之前 But you might want to ask yourself that question
你还是先问问自己这个问题吧 before you try to interfere in my life.
你才71岁吗 You're only 71?
上帝啊 Jesus Christ.
你是谁啊 尼泊尔夏尔巴人吗 What were you? A Nepali Sherpa?
你看上去就像船尾成精变人了 You look like a boat dock came to life.
下次提醒我洒点水哈 Remind me to moisturize next time.
大家都是证人啊 You're all witnesses!
你们都看见了 You all saw that!
别这样 伯特 Come on, Burt.
谢谢啦 Oh, thank you.
《桃色世家》 吉米·希瓦-奥弗利
吉米 Jimmy!
那贱人故技重施 The bitch did it again!
吉米 Jimmy!
吉米 Jimmy?
别报警 否则我告你人身攻击 我的宝马找到买家了 他明天会来 用这笔钱坐飞机去佛罗里达 或者留下来 买台像样的电视就更好了 林格 留
伙计 慢点儿 Hey, guys, slow down a little.
天啊 我讨厌这些房子 God, I hate these buildings.
空调又是坏的 Air conditioning goes down,
房间闻起来就跟垃圾处理机一样 place smells like the inside of a garbage disposal.
真无聊 This is so boring.
我想回家 你看他们的发型 I just want to go home. Look at their hair.
都是80年代的 This was made in the '80s.
你以为我不知道吗 Do you think I wouldn't know this?
嘘 Shh.
洛杉矶
全麦贝果加奶油奶酪 黑咖啡 Everything bagel and cream cheese, black coffee.
普莉希拉设计
卡尔
嘿 小狗狗 Aw, hey, dog.
天呐 Jesus.
♪他们的坦克♪ ♪ With their tanks ♪
♪他们的炸弹 他们的炸弹♪ ♪ And their bombs, and their bombs ♪
♪他们的手枪 冲进你脑海♪ ♪ And their guns, in your head ♪
♪在你脑海中 你在哭泣♪ ♪ In your head you're crying ♪
♪他们的脑海 你的脑海♪ ♪ In their head, in your head ♪
♪僵尸 僵尸♪ ♪ Zombie, zombie ♪
♪僵尸日日日♪ ♪ Zombie-ie-ie-ie. ♪
琳子 我发现了家超赞的电台 Linds, I discovered this awesome radio station!
"杰克FM" 可不是父辈的那种摇滚电台 Jack FM-- it is not your father's rock station.
杰克想播什么就播什么 You see, Jack just plays whatever he wants.
他们有个90年代金曲的栏目 They have this great '90s block
可把我迷住了 I've gotten really into.
音乐的黄金十年啊 What a great decade for music.
我们真是太幸运了 We were so lucky!
话说... ‭Anyway...
你今天过得怎么样 How was your day?
很好 So good.
我喜欢我的工作 I love my job.
那可太棒了 That's so great.
快看我 Watch me.
就像别人期望你去某个地方 It's like having people expect you to be somewhere
你就真想去了 actually makes you want to go there.
再说了 我还有钱赚 Plus, I get money.
棒极了 Awesome.
瞧 我头发藏珠 Look, I put beads in my hair.
这招你可以用在工作上 You should use it at work.
"白人少女度假风"今年绝对大火 "Teenage white girl on vacation" is gonna be huge this year.
我终于对社会有贡献了 I'm finally contributing to society.
就凭做个设计师助手吗 By being a stylist's assistant?
让世间少点丑算吗 Helping make people less ugly?
那可是上帝的活儿 格雷琴 It's God's work, Gretch.
这样赞极了 This is the tits!
我白天游乐于衣服间 I'm playing with clothes during the day,
然后回到家有你在 而且保罗不在 and then I come home, and you're here, and Paul isn't.
我喜欢这新生活 I love my new life.
好吧 可是... 我不确定 Yeah, but... I don't know.
-怎么了 -我也喜欢 - What? - ‭I love it, too.
可是我们每晚都是老一套 But... we're doing the same thing every night.
喝酒 吸大麻 You know, drinking, smoking weed.
恐怕我们陷入了一成不变的状态 I'm afraid we might be in a rut.
好吧 我们可以去附近转转 Okay, well, we can go out in the hood.
买上韩式烧烤 然后去一个 Get Korean barbecue, and then go to one of those karaoke places
反感白人的KTV where they don't like white people.
我有个更好的主意 I have a better idea.
我们还是待在家吸可卡因吧 Why don't we stay here and smoke crack?
你从哪弄来的可卡因 Where did you get crack?
从外面一个流浪汉手里搞来的 From one of the homeless people outside.
我甚至不用离开家 I didn't even have to leave the apartment.
他直接来到窗口问我 He just came to the window and asked
要不要买点可卡因 我当然要 if I wanted to buy some crack, and I said yes!
十美元买了这么多 难以置信吧 Ten dollars for all that crack. Can you believe it?
或许吸可卡因不是个好主意 Maybe smoking crack isn't the best idea.
那个卖给我的人绝对不认同 The guy who sold it to me couldn't disagree more.
‭琳赛 你拿到安特卫普来的样品了吗 Lindsay, did you get those swatches from Antwerp?
-听到没 -琳赛 - Hello? - ‭Lindsay?
到我办公室来一趟 Can I see you in my office?
琳赛 我想... Lindsay, I wanted to...
-我吸了可卡因 -什么 - I smoked crack. - What?
感谢你给我这个机会 Thank you for this opportunity.
抱歉我让你失望了 I'm sorry I let you down.
琳赛 坐下 Lindsay, sit.
你来这里试用一个多月了 You've been here on a trial basis for over a month now.
工作愉快吗 Are you enjoying yourself?
非常愉快 So much.
这简直是我内心深处的梦想 It's the dream I didn't know I had.
我感觉在这里找到了大家庭 I feel like I found a family here.
还有 免费食物这福利太棒了 Plus, the free food is a nice perk.
这里不供应免费食物 We don't have free food.
总之 你愿不愿意来为我全职工作 Anyway, how would you like to come work for me full-time?
什么 要要要 What?! Yes!
我是说 我可能会接受这个提议 I mean, I might be amenable to that.
你要给我一张纸 Do you have a piece of paper
让我来写上预期薪水吗 on which I should write my opening salary offer?
你人真逗 You're funny.
你眼光很棒 You have got a great eye,
而且你是我们见过的最乐观的人 and you're the most positive person we've ever had.
我真的很看重你 琳赛 I really value you, Lindsay.
那么 你初始底薪4.5万 Okay, well, you'll start at a base of $45K,
再加上你带来新客户的提成 plus commission on any new clients you bring in.
普莉希拉设计 琳赛·吉利安 助理设计师
现在你算是过了试用期了 Now that you're out of your probationary period,
真正的工作即将开始 the real work begins.
你不必再做那些没用的跑腿活儿了 You don't have to do any more of those dummy chores.
那些破事都交给卡尔吧 Carl can do all that crap.
我希望你快速形成设计师思维 I want you to start thinking like a designer.
读读这些东西 Read these.
从中可以很好地了解 They're a good start for understanding
我的风格 理念和影响力 my style, philosophy and influences,
或许也能了解我身体变形的由来 and probably the origins of my body dysmorphia.
我午饭吃冰的原因 Why I eat ice for lunch.
今晚7点回来 我们开始工作 Then come back tonight at 7:00, and we begin.
今晚吗 Tonight?
但白天才需要工作啊 But... work is for day.
亲爱的 让人变美是全天候的工作 Honey, making people look good is a 24-hour job.
我们得为一位男星 We have to dress an actor
打造参加贾登·史密斯退休派对的服装 for Jaden Smith's retirement party.
抱歉 Sorry.
谢谢 普莉希拉 Thanks, Priscilla.
有什么想法都憋回去 卡尔 Shove it up your ass, Carl.
好的 Okay.
你回来了 你好 你好 Hi. Hello. Hi. ‭Oh...
工作怎么样 我今天过得超爽 How was work? I had a great day.
《价格猜猜猜》节目邀请了普林科 The Price Is Right had Plinko,
他们以前都没请过 which they never do.
我做了个巧克力杯子蛋糕 I made a chocolate mug cake.
我还在你的墙上画了一个特别酷的恐龙 Also, I started a really cool dinosaur mural on your wall.
总而言之 Anyway,
今晚我用那一袋子 tonight I made a pitcher of greyhounds
你以为是酸橙的葡萄柚做了一大壶果汁 with that bag of grapefruits that you thought were limes.
现在快递公司正给我们配送塔可钟的食物 Postmates is bringing us Taco Bell as we speak.
我想我还有点剩下的可卡因 I think I have a little crack left.
我今晚不能和你一起玩了 I can't hang out tonight.
我7点就得回去工作 I have to be back at work at 7:00.
但工作应该是白天做的 But work is for day.
我也是这么说的 That's what I said.
至少在那之前 Oh, well, at least until then,
我们可以吃着鸡肉饼看《改造大师》吧 we can get down with our chalupas and watch Fixer Upper.
乔安娜一说"搭叠" 且奇普能理解她的意思 We drink every time Joanna says, "Shiplap!"
我们就喝酒 好吗 that Chip can get it, huh?
我觉得他全部都能理解 He can get it all the way, I think.
实际上 我有一堆材料要看 Actually, I have a whole bunch of reading to do.
"我真的应该开始做仰卧起坐了 "I should really get started on those sit-ups
那样才能赶上看新闻" if I want to finish in time to catch the news."
实际上 我真的需要集中注意力 Actually, I really need to concentrate,
所以也许你能让我单独待一两个小时 so maybe you could clear out for, like, an hour or two?
你还好吗 Are you okay?
还好 不 只是... Yeah, no, it's just, um,
我这些天都没怎么出门 I'm not really going outside these days.
什么意思 What do you mean?
我就没离开过你的公寓 I haven't left your apartment.
从什么时候开始 Since when?
大概三个月加两天了吧 Three months, two days, give or take.
什么 What?!
你是说你在我去工作的时候都没有离开过 You mean you haven't even left while I'm at work?
但那天我回来吃午饭 But the other day I came home for lunch
手淫了45分钟 and jerked it for 45 minutes.
我当时在床底下藏着 I was hiding under the bed.
那你肯定没去看心理医生吧 So, I take it you're not going to therapy?
错 Wrong!
我和那个吸奶的婊子每周都会视频聊天 I Skype with that titty-sucking bitch every week.
我还在服用那些药 I am still taking my meds and
没有丢工作 所以她很高兴 holding down my job, so she's happy.
笨蛋 Dummy.
你的工作真的保住了吗 Are you holding down your job?
我花钱请别人去搞定我的烂客户 I'm paying randos to take care of my bullshit clients,
我告诉他们我在欧洲 and I told the boys I'm in Europe
在发掘新星 联系...该死 该死 scouting new talent and making connect... Shit, shit!
我忘了要和他们视频聊天 I'm late for my Skype with them.
你们好 Oh, bonjour.
你现在在法国了 Oh, you're in France now.
天啊 我爱巴黎 God, I love Paris.
你去卢浮宫了吗 Did you go to the Louvre?
没有去 那里关门了 Oh, no, it's closed.
他们在清洗地毯 They're cleaning the rugs.
蜜蛋呢 Uh, where's Honey Nutz?
他来不了了 He couldn't make it.
他说他做了结肠镜检查 He said he had a colonoscopy.
他这么年轻 做这个太早了吧 Isn't he young for that?
他说再早也不为过 但是拜托 Well, he said it's never too early to start, but come on,
我们都知道真相 对吗 we all know the truth, right?
扎克瑞渴望任何类型的人类接触 Zachary craves any kind of human touch.
总之 贱人 你给我们找到什么机会了 Anyway, bitch, what opportunities have you gotten for us?
你走了不知道有多久了 You've been gone forever.
我正在打基础 I am laying important groundwork.
我在向所有的音乐媒体和大V们推荐你们 I'm talking you up to all the music press, the influential bloggers.
原谅我 烟灰缸 Uh, pardonnez-moi, uh, un ashtray,
麻烦你 s'il vous plaît.
谢谢 Merci.
你真的走了很长时间 It's just that you've been gone for a long time,
我们现在真的很需要公关 and we actually have press needs here.
我昨天在推特上威胁了宗毓华 I tweet-threatened Connie Chung yesterday,
她一点反应都没有 格雷琴 屁都没放一个 and not a peep, Gretchen, not one peep.
各位 欧洲现在 Guys, there is a surging hunger
对美国嘻哈乐特别饥渴 for American hip-hop in Europe right now.
因为 脱欧运动 You know, because of Brexit.
那是无可否认的 You can't deny that.
-对对对 -对对对 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-有道理 -总之 - That makes sense. - Anyway,
我今晚要去"金曲混搭97.8"电台 I'm going to Hot Mix 97.8 tonight.
他们要在他们的精彩混搭时光放你们的歌 They are playing you on their Magnifique Mash-up Hour.
确保他们一定要播放《奶子标签》 Make sure they play "Titty Tag."
或者《被操肿的逼》 Or "Pussy on Swoll."
哇啦哇啦 Uh, voulez voulez.
谢谢 Merci.
笨蛋 我得挂了 Stupide. I have to go.
-再见 -并且 要确保... - Ciao. ‭- Also, make sure you...
-姑娘 -对吧 - Girl. - ‭Right?
不是 我是说你实在有点... No, I meant girl...
你得离开公寓 出去走走 You have got to leave the apartment.
亲爱的 出去一小时吧 Sweetie, just go outside for an hour.
你都在听穷人广播了 You're listening to poor-people radio.
你的阴毛浓密得跟意大利老男人一样 You have the bush of an old Italian man.
你还在吸可卡因 You're doing crack.
但是 这难道不是很棒吗 But isn't it kind of awesome, though,
吉米把我抛弃在那座山上 我直接来了这里 that I came straight here after Jimmy left me on that hill,
再也没离开过 and haven't left?
仔细想想的话 简直棒得不能更棒 Like, that is pretty much straight baller when you think about it.
如果我撞见他 然后我死了呢 What if I run into him and then I die?
我试图在网上追踪他 I'm trying to stalk him online,
但那个白痴什么都没更新 but that idiot hasn't updated anything.
你想明白他为什么离开了吗 Have you figured out why he left yet?
为什么他刚向我求完婚就开车走人了吗 Why he asked me to be his wife and then drove away?
我觉得最大的可能是 他是我的敌人花钱雇来的 Best I can figure, he was paid by one of my enemies.
肯定是我得罪的某人设的一个长线骗局来坑我 It was just a long con to prank me by someone who I did wrong.
很可能是歌手杰森·玛耶兹 因为骂他是 Probably Jason Mraz for when I called him
戴浅顶软呢帽的稀屎 a fedora-wearing diarrhea.
埃德加说他没吉米的消息 你信吗 Do you believe Edgar that he hasn't heard from Jimmy?
才不信 埃德加显然是在给他打掩护 Oh, no. Edgar is obviously covering for him.
真的吗 那个内奸 Really? That fink.
没人可以对我撒谎 Well, no one lies to me.
你知道我放在冰箱里的雪糕去哪儿了吗 Do you know where those Eskimo Pies are that I put in the freezer?
我忘了告诉你 警察来把它们带走了 Oh, I forgot to tell you, the police came for them.
真奇怪 Weird.
如果枪是双关语
进来 Come in!
-琳赛 -你在干什么呢 - Lindsay. ‭- What are you doing?
我在努力为我在写的一部剧 I'm just trying to come up with some pitch ideas
《道格爱喜剧》 想些新创意 for the show I'm working on, doug Loves Sketches.
是关于喜剧小品的 道格很喜欢 It's about sketches. Doug loves 'em.
我知道 我看过第一季 I know, I watched season one.
我喜欢"吉多宝宝" I loved "Guido Baby." ‭
"吉多宝宝"是我的角色 "Guido Baby" was mine.
一眼就能看出来 You could totally tell!
吉米 Jimmy!
吉米 我下来了 Jimmy, I'm coming down!
-你在干什么 -我知道他在这里 - What are you doing? - I know he's here.
-他真的不在 -得了吧 - He's really not. - Please.
我可以轻易看穿一个人 I could read people like a deck of cards,
你绝对隐瞒了一些事 and you're holding the "Q" of clovers.
把他交出来 小子 他在哪儿 Give him up, chico! Where is he?
他不在这里 他没回来过 好吗 He's not here. He never came back, okay?
你知道那对我来说有多艰难吗 Do you know how hard that was for me?
一开始 我开着车到处找他 At first, I drove around looking for him,
每天晚上 从一个酒吧找到另一个 from bar to bar, every night.
给人看照片 各处打听 showing photos, asking around.
我甚至开了个热线 I even started a hotline.
有人打进来告知些线索 但都查不到什么 Tips came in, but they never led anywhere.
现在我... Now I just...
为他点亮一盏灯 然后... keep a light on for him and...
我偶尔会给他发语音留言 I leave him messages every once and awhile
就为了听听他自动回复的声音 just to hear his voice.
但生活必须继续下去 But life goes on. It must.
你透露太多细节了 That's too many details.
你看 Look.
我把房子重新装修了 I redecorated.
如果吉米还在这里 我敢这么做吗 Would I dare do that if Jimmy was still here?
他会杀了你 He'd kill you.
没错 Exactly.
所以他求完婚后就没回来过吗 So he just never came home from proposing?
他就这么凭空消失了 He just disappeared?
或许他搬回英国去了 Maybe he moved back to England.
我也不知道 I don't know.
反正他走了 But he's gone.
你确定像你这样的帅哥没有女朋友吗 ‭So you're sure a handsome fellow like you doesn't have a girlfriend.
你赢了洛杉矶之旅 You won L.A.
什么 What?
吉米也一直没回家 Jimmy never came home either.
看来你们两个都是孬种 Guess you guys are both pussies.
格雷琴 他走了 Gretch, he's gone.
他肯定开车回英国了 He must've drove back to England.
哇 好吧 Whoa. Okay.
谢谢 Thanks.
我全都看到了 I saw everything!
既然这已经结束了 我就说实话吧 Since this is obviously over, I'll just be honest.
我本来打算上那个妞的 I was gonna bang that chick.
好吧 Okay.
你觉得你现在最紧迫的流行时尚需求是什么 So, what would you say your most pressing style needs are right now?
时尚趋势 Trends.
我需要有人来告诉我时尚趋势将是什么 I need to be told what the trends are going to be.
比如 日本人明年会穿什么衣服 Like... what are people wearing in Japan next year? Hmm?
并且 最近觉得屎尿裤风格很不错 Also, been really feeling poopy pants these days.
不签名 No autographs.
你得走人 You need to go!
顺便说下 你们的小金鱼干酪吃完了 You guys are out of Goldfish, by the way.
-有什么事要帮忙吗 -抱歉 - Can I help you? - Um, sorry.
她是我的... That's my...
抱歉 Sorry.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我试过走出去了 I tried to go outside,
但实在无聊透顶 but it's boring as shit.
大街上只有公车 ‭It's just busses
以及推着小车的亚洲老妇人 and old Asian ladies with the wheelie carts.
什么时候声音变得这么大了 When did sounds get so loud, yo?
不说了 于是我就来了这里 Anyway, so I came here.
-你们在干什么 -格雷琴 - What are you guys doing? ‭- Gretchen!
我需要你仔细听我说 I need you to listen to me.
我不能成为你的唯一 I cannot be your only person.
-为什么不行 -格雷琴 - Why not? - ‭Gretchen,
这是我工作的地方 this is my place of business.
离开 Go.
但我不想离开 But I don't want to go. ‭Go.
离开 离开 Go. Go.
离开 Go.
抱歉 Sorry.
是我那患精神病的邻居 Mentally ill neighbor.
谢了 奥巴马 Thanks, Obama.
真好 你忙完了 Oh, good! You're done!
我们接下来要去做什么 What are we gonna do now?
你一直在这里等着吗 Have you been out here the whole time?!
是啊 也就等了三个小时 Yeah, just like three hours.
你叫我在外面等着的 You told me to wait outside.
我向这位出租车司机介绍了杰克电台 I introduced this cabbie to Jack FM.
他超爱的 He loves it!
当然 杰克也不在乎 Not that Jack would care.
那家伙不遵守社会规则 That guy does not play by society's rules.
我是叫你出去 深入到这个世界中 I meant go outside into the world.
你简直是疯了 You are losing your shit
因为你的前男友而消沉 但... and moping about your ex-boyfriend, but...
不是"前" 他不是我前男友 Not "Ex," He's not my ex-boyfriend.
严格说来我们依然是订婚关系 We're still technically engaged.
你他妈在逗我呢 Are you goddamn kidding me?
我不知道 谁知道呢 I don't know! Who knows?!
你也不知道 You don't know!
你知道吗 Do you know?
你是我在这世上最好的朋友 You are my best friend in the entire world.
我们共用一把牙刷 We share a toothbrush.
真的吗 We do?
但你今晚不能回家 But you can't come home tonight.
我想去哪儿就去哪儿 I can go anywhere.
我知道了 我们去杀人吧 I know, let's go kill someone.
-精神集中点 -好的 - Focus! ‭- Okay.
好多了 宝贝 That's better. Babe,
这是为了你自己好 this is for your own good.
我只会说一次 I am only going to say this once:
格雷琴 已经... Gretchen, it's been...
*距离你上次看我已经过去一周* ♪ One week since you looked at me ♪
*把头偏向一边 说你很生气* ♪ Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry" ♪
*距离你上次嘲笑我已经过去五天* ♪ Five days since you laughed at me ♪
*你说 复合吧 回来看我* ♪ You said, "Get back together, come back and see me" ♪
*距离上次去客厅已经过去三天* ♪ Three days since the living room ♪
*我意识到那是我的错 但却无法告诉你* ♪ Realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you ♪
*如果是昨天 你一定会原谅我* ♪ Yesterday you'd forgiven me ♪
*但两天内 我绝对不会道歉* ♪ But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry ♪
*等着看我欺骗你* ♪ Hold it now and watch me hoodwink ♪
*让你以为* ♪ Make yourself think ♪
*以为你面前的是海王* ♪ Think you're looking at Aquaman ♪
*我召唤鱼成为盘中餐* ♪ I summon fish to the dish, although ♪
*我喜欢瑞士小屋 也喜欢寿司* ♪ I like the Chalet Swiss, I like the sushi ♪
*因为它不用上锅 像青芥末一样辣* ♪ 'Cause it's never hits the frying pan, hot like wasabi ♪
*当我开始飚韵词* ♪ When I bust rhymes ♪
*像莉安·莱姆丝一样大 因为我最看重价值* ♪ Big like LeAnn Rimes 'cause I'm all about value ♪
*波特坎普弗特有热门金曲* ♪ Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits. ♪
我再也受不了了 I can't take it anymore!
怎么了 What's wrong?
我刚工作了一整天 Well, I just got done with a full day at work.
晚上还加班了 现在 And then I had night work, and now
我还有家庭工作 I have homework.
那可是三种工作了 That's three kinds of work.
格雷琴一直紧紧缠着我不放 And Gretchen won't give me any space.
她对我实施了"加拿大说唱夺命法" She Canada-rapped at me.
你和我 我们现在有工作了 You and me, we have jobs now.
我们是商务人士 We are businesspeople.
埃德加 Edgar?
我们现在成严肃认真的人了 We're the serious ones now.
天啊 Oh, my God.
-我好想他们 -我也是 - I miss them. ‭- Me, too.
天啊 至少用个杯垫啊 娘们儿 My God, at least use a coaster, woman. ‭
但我一直在网上看萌狗 实在太忙了 But I'm too busy looking at awesome dogs on the Internet.
好了 够了 我受不了了 Right, that's it, I can't take it anymore!
我要下楼了 I'm going downstairs.
我也打算去那里的 Well, I was gonna go down there anyway
去洗个澡 但是不洗腿 to take a shower and not wash my legs.
或许我会修改下我的树屋蓝图 Maybe I'll work on my tree house blueprint.
有可能会增加一面墙 Perhaps I'll add a wall.
别打扰我 我要看群交片手淫 Don't bug me in there, I'm gonna be jerking it to gangbang porn.
我要在床上喝酒 I'm going to drink alcohol in my bed
看一本非常无趣的书 and read a very boring book.
不要 陪着我嘛 No, pay attention to me.
我是格雷琴 玩弄我的头发吧 I'm Gretchen. Play with my hair.
喜欢漫谈自己 毒舌 Rambling speech about myself, pointed insult,
喜欢黑色喜剧 比喻总是失控 mock horror, extended metaphor that gets off track,
然后我还经常想引起注意 and then I call myself out for it!
饥渴 假笑 恶心 Thirstiness, nasal laugh, being gross.
不过却提醒我 我有精神病 Yet another reminder that I'm mentally ill.
饥渴 Thirstiness.
跟我玩嘛 来嘛 我是格雷琴 Play with me. Come on, I'm Gretchen.
-吻我 -别再烦我了 - Kiss me! ‭- Stop bothering me!
-我好无聊 -好吧 我会吻你的 - I'm bored. - ‭All right, fine, I'll kiss you.
天啊 Jesus!
-快干我啊 笨蛋 -好吧 - Well, do me already, dummy. - Ah, fine.
你好 Hi.
这位子有人坐吗 Is this seat taken?
没有 Why, no.
吉米 将联系人移至...
"前任们"
听着 埃德加 刚跟你做爱太爽了 Listen, Edgar, that was... really good sex.
对吧 真的超级爽 Right? Like really good.
不过先跟你说清楚 我现在全身心都扑在工作上 But just so you know, I'm really committed to my job right now
我不想伤害你的感情 and I don't want you to get your feelings hurt.
我真高兴你这么说 I am so glad you said that
因为 尽管刚刚做爱很爽 because, as amazing as that was,
但我对你 毫无感情 I feel, like, nothing for you.
我现在一心想着我的工作 I am all about my job right now.
-真的吗 -是啊 - Really? ‭- Yeah.
那好极了 Oh. Good, then.
等等 Oh. ‭So, wait,
我们刚刚做爱了 we just had dope sex,
却不觉得需要谈谈这事 and don't feel the need to discuss it.
当然不需要 Ew. Not at all.
并且我们想做的时候 And we could, like, do this again
随时可以做 也可以不做 whenever we feel like it-- or not--
不管怎样都行 and be fine either way.
我觉得没问题 I think so.
我也是 Me, too.
-好极了 -好极了 - Cool. ‭- Cool.
好极了 Cool.
我可以再来一发 You know, I could go again.
不如这样 先工作一小时 How about this? An hour of sustained work,
再打第二炮 and then round two.
你太聪明了 You are so smart.
好咧 All right. ‭
这简直太棒了 This is so great.
跟那个烦人的格雷琴待了这么久 After all that time with annoying-ass Gretchen,
我工作时你都不想烦我... you're not even trying to bother me while I...
-嘘 -抱歉 - Shh... ‭- Sorry.
过来 Come here, you.
你终于回来了 There she is.
我好想你 Oh, I missed you.
太爽了 Divine.
吉米: 嘿