ShinY
深影
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ShinY
深影
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ShinY
深影
这里白昼黑夜毫无界限 This place seems confused by the rules of night and day.
或许它是故意为之 Or perhaps it simply ignores them,
日落后也依旧炙热 refusing to cool when the sun fades.
ShinY
深影
似乎上帝也未定好 It's as if God has not yet decided
这里应有的样貌 what this place should become.
是沙漠 Will it be desert?
ShinY
深影
是草原 Will it be prairie?
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深影
每个生物都身披尖刺 长着角和獠牙 Every living thing is armed with thorns and horns and fangs
如同大地在自我斗争 寻求答案... as the land wages war on itself, seeking the answer...
我了解这种内斗 I knew that war.
斗争焦点在于你该成为什么 That war between what you should become,
以及你能成为什么 and what you could become.
看着这片土地 窥见自己未健全的心智 I looked at this place and saw my unfinished soul.
看着这片土地 心里明白 对我而言 I looked at this place and knew, for me...
这场斗争已经结束 that war was over.
我已看清自己的内心 I know what I am now.
我生为牛仔 I'm a cowboy.
现在看来 我们越远离文明社会 It seems the farther we get from civilization,
越多陈规就会抛诸脑后 the more of its rules we leave behind.
还有旧俗 Its traditions.
以及禁忌... Its inhibitions...
越向西走 The farther west we travel,
那些陈规旧俗愈显累赘 the more those rules and customs become a burden.
你会讲英文吗 You speak English?
抱歉 不会 Sorry. No English.
艾莉娜 Alina.
我老婆 会英文 Wife English.
这东西你们怎么称呼 What do you call those?
裤子 Pants.
用他语言来讲 In his language.
念"潘塔洛尼" Pantaloni.
帮我问问他有没有多余的 Ask him if he has more.
我知道他有 因为是我做的 I know he has more because I made them.
- 我能跟你做个交易吗 - 交易 - Can I trade for some? - Trade.
我给你些东西 你给我... I give you something and you give...
我知道什么是交易 I know what trade is.
你为何要我丈夫的裤子 Why you want my husband's pants?
骑马磨出的水泡太难受了 Tired of blisters from the saddle.
我们来商量吧 Let's talk trade.
- 你想要什么 - 你有什么 - What do you want? - What do you have?
- 你需要什么 - 什么都需要 - What do you need? - We need everything.
这是金子做的 It's gold.
在这里 我拿金子有何用处 What good is gold to me out here?
如果你什么都缺 可以用金子去买 If everything is what you need, gold can buy it.
那我得去商店 Oh. I just walk over to store then.
艾伯林有商店 There's stores in Abilene.
你身上怎么会有金子 Why you have gold?
你不用管我金子是怎么来的 Why I have it is none of your business.
要是你偷的 一切免谈 Then you stole it and we have no trade.
等等 Wait.
为了藏钱 我父亲全都换成珠宝 My father made jewelry of his money to hide it.
有些珠宝在我这里 He hid some on me.
那你不用再藏了 Not yours to hide anymore.
我去给你拿裤子 I get you pants.
你要的裤子 There is pants.
应该合身 他穿着太小 Should fit you. Too small for him.
你屁股挺小的 You have skinny hips.
你真这么觉得 You think so?
当然 我又没瞎 I know. I looking at you.
等你生孩子 孩子的头出来时 When you have baby, its head coming out
会像根茄子 looking like eggplant.
茄子是什么 What's eggplant?
能帮我改下裙子吗 Can you do that to my dress?
怎么 没见过穿裤子的女人吗 What's the matter, never seen a woman in pants before?
我觉得你是第一个 Naw, I think you're the first.
别吃了 Hey, cut it out.
这主意还不赖 It's not the worst idea you've had.
我并不想知道你这裤子是哪来的 I don't want to know where the pants came from.
- 我拿东西... - 都说不用告诉我了 - I traded for them... - I said I don't want to know.
用什么换的 Traded what?
- 我用... - 算了 我不想知道 - I traded for them... - I Never mind. I don't want to know.
- 什么时候集合 - 现在 - What time's the meeting? - Now.
要我跟你一起去吗 You want me to come?
不用 你放牧吧 我在河边看到了狼的踪迹 No, stay with the herd. I saw wolf tracks by the river.
那是吉普赛人吗 That one of them gypsies?
算是吧 Sorta.
到时给你带份晚饭 I'll bring you supper.
带两份吧 Hey, bring me two.
翻译 AlliumFistulosum
翻译 Fecit
翻译 k.yy
翻译 碳树
翻译 Monica爱吃蛋挞
特效 Noel
压制 Toby
校对 Noel
《1883》 第四集 渡河危机
那河看着挺深 River looked pretty deep to me.
那叫水高 It's high.
到红河的时候 我们就该过河前进 Maybe we should've crossed the Red where we was.
现在得穿过两条河 Now we're crossing two rivers...
还要过二十条河呢 We're gonna cross twenty before we're done.
我没看到适合过河的地方 I didn't see a decent place to cross here.
朝上游走几里路有 There's one a few miles up.
是野牛过河的地方 There's a spot wild cattle use.
河底石头很多 Ground pretty rocky.
有多深 How deep?
得游过去 It's a swim.
你们知道怎么游泳吗 Your people know how to swim?
我们那里游泳是违法的 It's illegal where we are from.
违法 To swim?
我家乡的人会在溺毙者 Where I am from they whip the bodies of the drowned
下葬前对其鞭尸 before they are buried.
以示对违法下河的惩罚 For getting in a river in the first place.
我们不会游泳 We don't swim.
那先赶牛过河 We could get the cattle across first
接着尽量骑马载人过去 then get as many over horseback as we can,
最后是大篷车 then the wagons.
依我看 Look, my two cents?
如果先赶牛过河 If we run the cattle over first
牛群会把河岸踩成泥滩 they're gonna make soup out of the bank.
万一大篷车卡住 You get a wagon stuck and you've got
河中就会造成道路堵塞 a traffic jam in the middle of the river.
我见过 所以要尽量避免 I seen it, and you don't want to.
让人先渡河 再是大篷车 Ferry folks over then send the wagons.
最后才到牛群 Then bring the herd.
管控牛群需要多少人手 How many folks you need to hold the herd?
别担心牛群 我能把它们赶过去 Don't worry about the herd, I'll get the herd across,
你只管让大篷车驶出河岸 you just keep those wagons off the bank
不然我也会遇上堵塞 or I'm gonna have a traffic jam too.
你能帮我们带人渡河吗 Can you help us ferry folks across?
可以 I can do that.
那你妻子就要独自驾车 That means your wife has to drive a wagon.
我妻子能把大篷车倒进酒馆的窄门里 My wife could back a wagon through the doors of a saloon.
她没问题 She'll be fine.
我们明早过河 We'll cross in the morning.
先等气温上升 Wait till it warms up.
牲畜感到闷热困乏 Let everything get hot and a little tired.
会更愿意下河 Animals will be more ready to get in the river then.
上游在下雨 That's rain over there.
上游下雨后 水面上涨 Rain over there is a higher river here.
水位已经够高了 It's high already.
待我让这帮流民动身时 By the time I get these misfits moving
肯定都正午了 农民 it'll be midday, farmer.
你不必担心 Don't you worry about it.
我才不是农民 I ain't no fucking farmer.
你是 You were.
我也曾是名上尉 I was a captain, too.
可我不用军衔称呼自己 I don't call myself that either...
警官 Captain.
可以的话 我能要点压缩饼干吗 Steal some hard tack, if you don't mind.
我帐篷里有烤饼和培根 There's some biscuits in my teepee and some bacon.
放多久了 How old's the biscuits?
还算新鲜 They're new enough.
我们应该找个厨子 Thought we was getting a cook.
到艾伯林再说 Abilene.
要不我们过河后 How about we kill one of them beefs
宰头牛吃 when we get across the river?
等有厨子宰牛再说吧 We'll kill a beef when we have a cook to butcher it.
我们在旅程中不该节衣缩食 This ain't the part of the trip where we skinny up.
而要养好身体 This is the part where we get fat.
看来要减粮了 The skinny part's coming.
自己宰牛会浪费许多食材 We butcher it ourselves, we'll waste most of it.
一个月就能吃光牛群 Run through that herd in a month.
到时候就不止减粮 还要挨饿了 Then we ain't skinnying up, we're starving.
看看周围看看吧 警官 Well, have a look around, Captain.
我们已经在挨饿了 We're starving already.
怎么人人都爱顶嘴了 This talking back is getting contagious.
你要跟那农民谈谈 You need to have a word with that farmer.
让他守信 A word that sticks.
交给我 我会让他信守诺言 Let me do it, I'll make sure it sticks.
等进入印第安领地 By the time we get to the territories,
还需要他为大家奋勇作战了 we're gonna need all the fight he's got in him.
他们因为游泳违法就去鞭尸 They whip the bodies because it's illegal to swim.
做任何事都违法 Illegal to do everything.
除了缴税 Except pay taxes.
俄勒冈州 Uh... Oregon.
你去过吗 You've seen it?
去过 I've seen it.
那里风土如何 What was it like?
要是在问值不值得冒险去 答案是值得 It's worth the risk if that's what you're asking.
这是我想要的答案 That's what I'm asking.
跨过布拉索斯河... Once we cross the Brazos...
再无回头路 No turning back.
没错 Nope.
托马斯 我自以为波澜不惊 It takes a lot to surprise me, Thomas.
但这些人 从不许自己拿主意 These people, they've never been allowed to think for themselves.
如今他们已经不会思考 Now they can hardly think at all.
其实 他们不去加尔维斯敦 The fact they ain't headed for Galveston
加尔维斯顿是德克萨斯州海港城市
乞求乘船归乡 让我很惊讶 and begging their way on a boat for home shocks me.
托马斯 我甚至惊叹 It shocks me, Thomas.
他们直到现在都没放弃 That they haven't quit yet.
不知为何他们还想回乡 Don't know why them folks wanna go home.
他们家乡听着像是地狱 Their home sounds like hell.
但好歹是熟悉的地狱 'Cause it's the hell they know.
世间最可怕之事莫过于未知 Most terrifying thing on this planet is the unknown.
你没被鞭笞过才会这么想 警官 That's 'cause you ain't never been whipped, Captain.
等你背上挨过鞭子 Let someone put a whip to your back
再来告诉我未知的恐怖 and tell me the unknown is what scares you.
这些乡民注定回不了家 These folks ain't never going home.
醒醒 Hey...
我们今晚就要拔营渡河 We'll have to break camp and cross the river tonight.
为何要今晚 Why tonight?
跟大部队走不安全 It ain't safe to be behind them.
那晚上渡河就更安全吗 You think crossing alone the river at night is safer?
这些乡民需要帮忙 These folks are gonna need help,
我们要先自助才能助人 we can't help if we're one of them.
那艾莎呢 What about Elsa?
我会接她 I'll get her.
那我跟着队伍 I'll hook the team.
♪梦中的美人♪ Beautiful dreamer
♪快快醒来♪ Wake unto me
♪星辰露珠等待你♪ Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee
♪白日喧嚣♪ Sounds of the rude world
♪已然停消♪ Heard in the day
♪皓月照大地♪ Lull'd by the moonli...
继续 Don't stop.
星辰...不行 唱不出来 Sta... I can't...I can't.
为什么 Why not?
我害羞 I'm shy.
你何时害羞过 Since when were you shy?
我唱歌就这样 Well, with singing I'm shy.
我... I just...
担心自己唱得不好 Worry it won't sound good.
牛不在乎你唱得如何 Cow don't care how it sounds.
我每晚都给牛唱歌 也不害羞 Hell, I sing to them all night, and I ain't shy about it.
也许你该害羞点 You probably should be.
但你让我难堪时就不害羞啊 Well, you sure ain't shy about hard timing me.
对 因为太容易了 No, that comes pretty easy to me.
那唱给它们听吧 Somebody gotta sing to 'em.
♪梦中的美人♪ Beautiful dreamer
♪快快醒来♪ Wake unto me
♪星辰露珠等待你♪ Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee
♪白日喧嚣♪ Sounds of the rude world
♪已然停消♪ Heard in the day
♪皓月照大地♪ Lull'd by the moon...
我想现在是我冒犯了 Guess I'm the one being forward now.
抱歉 也许我该... I'm sorry, I probably should...
再来吻我 Do it again.
你要朝我开枪吗 You gonna shoot me?
我在考虑 Thinking about it.
我们要让篷车过河 We're moving the wagon across the river.
何时 When?
现在 Now.
我得看着牛群 赶牛过河得三个人 I should stay with the herd. It takes three to move it.
你跟他交接下 牛群哪也去不了 Herd ain't going nowhere with you two swapping supper.
你们都有任务 干活吧 You got a job to do. Y'all do it.
好的 先生 Yes, sir.
爸爸 Daddy.
你生气了吗 You mad?
你喜欢他吗 You like him?
喜欢 I do.
那我生什么气 Then why would I be mad?
我不能需要你的时候 把你当大人 I can't treat you like an adult when it suits me
担心你的时候 把你当小孩 and a child when I'm worried.
你只有一个角色 You're one or the other.
但你妈妈那边就难说了 Your mother is gonna be a different story.
你要告诉她吗 You gonna tell her?
不 我不打算告诉她 Hell, no. I ain't gonna tell her.
你自己去说 You're gonna tell her.
你们看着牛群 等所有大篷车先过河 Y'all hold the herd till every wagon is across that river.
好的 先生 Yes, sir.
他不朝我开枪了吗 He ain't gonna shoot me?
不 他说如果你捣乱 No, he said I could shoot you.
我就杀了你 If you act up.
捣蛋是我唯一拿手的事 Well, acting up is my only skill.
不 不是 No, it ain't.
再来 Do it again.
来吧 Come here.
别把你的粮食浪费在我身上 Oh, no, don't go wasting your supplies on me, ma'am.
你先喂饱自己的孩子吧 You just... just keep them children fed.
你自己也要吃饱 You fed, too.
要不是你 哪来的这些粮食 I would have no supplies if it weren't for you.
你这是干嘛 What're you doing?
看看你 Watching.
别这样 Don't do that.
为什么 Why not?
与黑人结婚不会解决你的问题 Marrying a black man ain't gonna solve your problems, ma'am.
甚至还会造成更多麻烦 It's gonna create a whole bunch of new ones.
这是个自由的国度 This is free country.
自由也有限度 女士 There's degrees of free, ma'am.
何以见得 What does that mean?
政府能告诉我该爱谁吗 Government can tell me who to love?
你的政府告诉你不能游泳 Your government says you can't swim.
告诉你无法自保 Can't protect yourself.
政府自然可以告诉你该爱谁 Damn right government can tell you who to love.
以及怎么去爱 And how to love 'em.
他们不该如此 They shouldn't.
但却有这能力 But they can.
那我们就去政府无法管控的地方 Then we go somewhere they can't.
女士 你不会想跟我有何关系的 Ma'am, you don't want nuthin' to do with me.
我年纪大了 I'm too old.
没啥前途了 Too set in my ways.
我不喜欢讲话 I don't like talking.
我喜欢风餐露宿 下河游泳 I like sleeping outside and I like bathing in a river.
没女人会喜欢这些 That ain't what a woman wants.
男人根本不懂女人 Men have no idea what women want.
无可辩驳 Can't argue that.
知道原因吗 Know why?
因为男人从来不问 Because they never ask.
你想要什么呢 What do you want?
想看你吃东西 I want to watch you eat.
行 Okay.
有狼 Wolf.
这里竟也有狼 Even here there are wolves.
什么声音 What the hell was that?
不清楚 I don't know.
俄勒冈和这里不同吗 Oregon is not like this?
俄勒冈有... Oregon is...
连绵的山丘... mountains...
齐腰高的茵茵绿草 and green grass to your hips...
繁茂草地与海相接 all the way to the ocean.
能在脚踝深的水里漫步 Where you walk ankle deep in water.
俄勒冈是人间天堂 Oregon is paradise.
希望如此 I hope so.
相信我 I promise.
要成家吗 And then a family?
我们会在那里修建居所 And then we make a family.
我们就有家了 Then we have a family.
事不宜迟 就今晚吧 We start making it tonight.
水挺深的 Looks deep.
反正不浅 Well, it ain't shallow.
- 你带约翰走 - 好的 女士 - You take John with you. - Yes, ma'am.
走吧 儿子 Come on, son.
车上没有值得以命相护的财物 There ain't nothing on this wagon worth dying for.
车要是下沉 你就赶紧下马 If it goes under, you get clear of these horses.
让车马自生自灭吧 Let all this mess go down river.
再往上游使劲游 我去接你 You swim upriver, I'll come get you.
好 Yep.
紧张吗 Nervous?
还行 I'm fine.
我爱你 I love you.
怎么突然说这话 Why'd you say that?
因为我想你知道我的爱 Because I want you to know it.
现在紧张了 Now I'm nervous.
驾 驾 Hey! Hey!
哇塞 真好玩 Whoa, that was fun!
玩得开心吗 妈妈 Did you have fun, mama?
开心 挺有趣的 儿子 Yeah, a real hoot, son.
闭上眼睛 孩子 Close your eyes, son.
把他耳朵捂住 Cover his ears.
这可没你说得那么轻巧 This is harder than you said it would be.
我说过 这河水足以让我们倾家荡产 I told you it was gonna take everything we had and then some.
你该说清楚具体会失去什么 You should've explained what "Everything" Meant.
不 No!
知道我为何不愿意睡觉了吧 That's why I don't like to sleep.
我也不是头一次见你做噩梦 Ain't the first time I seen it.
但我倒没见你做噩梦 Ain't never seen it from you.
你睡得跟死猪似的 You sleep like a goddam baby.
让我很是费解 I've never understood it.
从小习惯了吧 The way I grew up?
我见过的场面 简直... Things I seen? Shit...
后来噩梦也不觉可怕了 Wasn't scared of no nightmare.
我睡觉 就是为了躲避现实 Hell, we went to sleep to escape 'em...
我去煮咖啡 I made coffee.
早安 Morning.
早安 警官 Morning, Captain.
不是说"等天气变暖了"吗 What happened to "Wait till it warms?"
我是让你们等 I didn't mean me.
水下暗流不少 河中央有道很深的沟 More current than it looks and a deep channel in the middle.
篷车太重会陷进去 Heavy wagons will get bogged.
要是这河过不去 Well... If they can't cross here
那就没法再前进了 they got no business going any farther.
他们也没必要跑那么远 They got no business going this far.
我们又有何必要呢 One could argue none of us do.
那我去叫他们 Guess I'll bring 'em.
我们等你 We'll be waiting.
会吗 Will you?
我答应帮你 就不会食言 I said I'll help. I'll help.
能让人全然留心当下的存在 There are few things that focus one
凤毛麟角 solely on the present.
其一是恐惧 Terror is one.
其二是悲伤 Grief another.
但他者的双唇会让自己 But nothing washes the world away
忘却琐事 like the lips of another.
说来奇怪 Seems an odd custom,
萍水相逢的两人 相互亲吻 strangers putting their mouths together
伸出舌头 探索彼此 and exploring each other with their tongues.
仔细想来 亲吻本无意义 When you think about it, kissing makes no sense at all.
早安 Morning.
果然 That it is...
早晨已经过去很久了 It's been morning for a good bit now.
抱歉 Sorry.
我猜 你是在补美容觉 Catching up on your beauty sleep, I guess.
看来老天也不想你面带愁容 Lord knows you don't need much of that.
走吧 干活去 Come on. Let's work.
快来啊 Come on.
- 你赶右边 好吗 - 好 - You hold the right, all right? - Okay.
走 Come on.
快 我们得把它们赶去河边 Come on, we're going to push it to the water.
牛儿们 跑起来 Come on, cows.
接吻之事 实在愚蠢 What a silly thing, kissing.
毫无意义 毫无目的 What a pointless, purposeless thing.
却让人期待不已 And I couldn't wait for another.
河流昨晚上涨了很多 River rose overnight.
高了多少 How much?
挺高的 Enough.
我们得减轻大篷车的重量 We need to lighten these wagons.
不必要的东西都别带 If it ain't absolutely necessary it doesn't make the trip.
车过去后能回来带走扔下的东西吗 Can we come back for the things we leave?
怎么带走 How we gonna do that?
重物就应该丢在这里 走吧 If it's too heavy, here's where it stays. Let's go.
等到俄勒冈州我们就一无所有了 We will get to Oregon with nothing.
到时候我们怎么过日子 How do we make our lives with nothing?!
约瑟夫 Josef?
约瑟夫 Josef!
他的马怎么能拉着这东西走在陆地上 Don't know how his horses drag this around on dry ground.
太重了 It's too heavy.
把这些东西都扔掉 Get all this shit out of there.
扔点车上的货物 Unpack your wagon.
我去 Goddammit.
看看 Look at this.
我在沃思堡怎么跟你说的 What did I tell you in Fort Worth?
我说 完全不必要的东西 I said if it is not absolutely necessary
都别带着 it does not make the trip.
这东西必须带 他是音乐家 It is necessary. He's a musician.
不 他不是音乐家 No, he's not a musician!
你也不是木匠 And you're not a carpenter,
他也不是什么铁匠 and he's not a fucking blacksmith.
你们是拓荒者 在到达终点前只有这身份 You are pioneers, and that's all you are until you get there.
你们没有家 没有工作 没有农场 You have no home, no job, no farm.
只有脚下的旅途 仅此而已 You have the journey, that's it.
他说什么 What's he sayin'?
他说这些东西是无法替代的 He says these things, they can't be replaced.
你这是让他去俄勒冈 当街乞讨 You are sending him to Oregon to be a beggar on the streets.
他要做出选择 要么卸东西 These are his choices: he unloads his wagon.
要么回沃思堡 He goes back to Fort Worth,
要么我把他的篷车烧成灰烬 告诉他 or I burn his wagon to the ground. Tell him.
他们会恨你的 They're gonna hate you.
至少他们能活命 At least they'll be alive to do it.
要过那条河吗 We cross that?
约瑟夫 Josef?
我们要走那条河吗 We go across that?
对 要过那条河 Yes. We go across it.
没事的 没事的 You're fine, you're fine.
那条沟在哪里 Show me that trench.
从这里开始 Starts right here.
你们得走那地方的右边 You gotta stay to the right of that spot.
我知道 警官 我告诉他们了 I know it, Captain. I passed the word.
只希望他们别慌 Just hope these folks stay patient.
渡河要保持冷静 Cool heads cross rivers.
冲动只会淹死 Hot heads drown.
我来开大篷车 Gonna pull wagons.
如果有谁落水 If someone falls off,
扔条绳子 拉他们上岸 toss them a rope and pull 'em to the bank.
别让他们碰你的马 Don't let them reach your horse.
他们会把你拽下去的 They'll drag you off.
他们怎么会把我拽下去 Why would they drag me off?
人在险境中什么事都干 'Cause when people panic that's what they do.
你要是掉下马鞍 那身衣服会害你淹死的 If you come out of the saddle, that dress'll drown you.
好吧 Oh my God.
过了今天 我们肯定会 I guess we're gonna get to know each other
更加了解彼此 a lot better after this day.
看来他们明白要轻装上路了 Looks like they came to their senses and lightened up.
河流是会改变人的 A river'll do that to ya.
他们真肯留下这些东西 Strange they'd just leave it.
该留在镇里的 Should've left it in town.
等到了堪萨斯 Once we get to Kansas...
这里就像个垃圾场 Hell, it looks like a junk yard,
处处是人们遗留河岸的各种东西 all the things folks dump at the river bank.
烤炉 浴盆 Ovens, bath tubs,
跟大篷车一样大的风车叶片 wind mill blades as big as the wagon it was in.
他们肯定都以为西进的道路一马平川 I swear, folks must think the way west was paved.
你会弹琴 You play?
会 I do.
以前弹 I did.
现在不弹了 I guess I don't play anymore.
你可以再弹一次 You can play once more.
你不会弹欢快的曲子吗 Don't know any happy ones?
欢快的曲子我从来都没兴趣 Never had much interest in the happy ones.
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我抛下田纳西州的回忆 I had abandoned every memory of Tennessee,
仿佛生来就踏上了这段旅途 as though I was born on this journey.
不仅如此 But I wasn't...
我们离开某地 另寻住处 We were leaving a place and seeking another.
其间必会跋山涉水 And the journey was the necessary,
尽管途中苦痛难料 miserable road between the two.
不知为何 总感觉自己能免于这里的危险 Somehow I felt immune to the dangers of this place.
似乎这片土地与我订契立约 As if the land and I had struck a deal.
只要心怀热爱 我就能安然无恙 I could pass unharmed so long as I loved it.
我热爱这里 And I did.
热爱这片土地的一切 I loved everything about it.
跨过布拉索斯河后 才知道契约根本没有 But crossing the Brazos taught me there was no deal.
就算对这土地爱得深沉 No matter how much we love it,
它永远不会回馈你 the land will never love us back.