《外星居民》前情回顾 Previously on "Resident Alien"...
我的宇宙飞船只剩下了这个 This is what is left of my spaceship.
你之所以会这样是因为你去过外天空 This happened to you because you went to space.
我觉得外太空不会让我这样 I don't think that's how space works.
- 那会是什么 - 我也不知道 - What else could it be? - I have no idea.
那个小混蛋 That little shit pocket.
忘了告诉你 我的同类会来杀死每一个人 I forgot to tell you, my people are coming to kill everyone.
你是外星人 那你可以打电话啊 You're an alien, you know, phone home.
告诉他们别来 Call them and tell them not to come.
我会建立一个无线电来联系我的同胞 I will try to build a radio and contact my people.
政府正在搜捕他们 The government is after him.
他们知道我知道他的身份 They know that I know who he is.
什么 What?
他们回到基地了 And they went back to their base,
现在他们正在四处搜捕他 and now they're driving around searching for him.
你怎么知道他们的基地在哪里 How do you know where their base is?
我们自有办法 We have our ways.
阿斯塔，我们需要和万德斯本格医生 Hello, Asta. We need to speak
聊聊关于那个断脚的事情 with Dr. Vanderspeigle about that severed foot.
我的天 Well, I'll be.
肉毒毒素 谋杀武器 Botulinum toxin-- the murder weapon.
-哦 不 - 他在哪 阿斯塔 - Oh, no. - Where is he, Asta?
他藏在地窖里了 He went to hide in the cellar.
万德斯本格医生 Dr. Vanderspeigle!
- 为什么要举枪 - 阿斯塔 - Whoa, what's with the guns? - Asta?
我的那个亲娘 What in holy hell?
24年前佩西恩斯山脉
那个不太明亮的是火星 That faint one there is Mars,
战争之神 the god of war.
那颗星是维纳斯 生育女神 And over there is Venus, the goddess of fertility.
维纳斯和生殖器的发音正好押韵 Venus rhymes with penis
达茜 朱迪 这并不好笑 D'arcy, Judy, that's not funny
有女英雄吗 Is there a girl hero
奥莉维亚·贝克 说话之前举手了吗 Olivia Baker, did we raise our hand before we spoke
本没有举手 Ben didn't raise his hand.
本现在尝试要变的更加自信 Ben is working on being more assertive,
所以他不举手没关系 so it's okay for him.
那是什么东西 Wow, what's that?
一起去看看 阿斯塔 凯拉 Let's go! Asta, Kayla, come on!
- 太酷了 - 等等我 - Cool! - Wait up!
嗨 嗨 不能每人看火啊 Hey, hey! Never leave a fire unattended.
我留下吧 I'll stay.
等等 我跟你们一起去 Hold up, I'm coming with you.
我看了 啥也没有 I looked, but there was nothing.
- 我什么也没看到 - 我看到了一些东西 - I didn't see anything. - I did. I saw something.
奥莉维亚·贝克 你知道说谎的后果 Olivia Baker, you know the rules about lying.
你真的看到东西了吗 Did you really see something？
没有 No.
外星居民 第二季第三集
万德斯本格医生 Dr. Vanderspeigle!
万医生 Dr. V!
他在哪里 哦 该死 Where the hell is he? Oh, shit!
立刻把手举到头顶 Put your hands above your head right now.
你涉嫌谋杀山姆·霍奇斯 要逮捕你 You're under arrest for the murder of Sam Hodges.
什么 哈利 究竟怎么回事 What? Harry, what's going on?
你得有本事先抓住我再说 You're going to have to catch me first.
该死的 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
副警长 我们抓捕的是一个狼人 Deputy, we got ourselves a werewolf!
我的天呀 我的天 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Hey! Hey!
别对他开枪 Don't shoot him!
对他 他根本不是人 Him? That's a goddamn it!
让你屁股吃一枪 You need a silver bullet in your ass,
你这只该死的白化狼人 you albino-ass werewolf mother--
别开枪 你不开枪他不会伤害你的 No, he won't hurt you if you don't hurt him!
他是外星人 He's an alien!
我就知道有外星人 I knew they existed.
♪你唯一需要的就是疼爱和关怀♪ Love and affection is all that you lack
你知道吗 You know what?
我们应该干一杯祝贺一下 I think we deserve a toast with our toast.
警官 断脚杀手案干的非常好 Good work on the Severed Foot Killer, Deputy.
终于了结此案可以干点别的了 It's gonna be nice to move on to something else.
非常感谢 长官 你也是 Thank you, sir. You too.
- 嗯 - 嗯 - Mmm. - Mmm.
我可不想把我的脚 I don't want to put my "foot"
放到嘴里 in my mouth... -
不过我倒是觉得咱们应该再来点培根 But I think we deserve to have more of this bacon.
还有再给涨涨工资 And maybe even a raise!
哈 你猜怎么着 Ha! You know what?
我想了想 你说的有道理 Now that I think about it, you're absolutely right.
现在是时候了 而且你值得 I mean, now's the time, and you've certainly earned it.
我们再多点一些培根 Let's get some more of that bacon.
早上好 万德医生 Morning, Dr. V.
好呀 Howdy.
好 How...dy.
哇 我想你真的做到了 Wow, I guess it worked.
我可是外星人 I am an alien.
我们很擅长改变人类的记忆 We are very good at changing peoples' memories
根据我们的需要 to suit our purposes.
他们不会再有怀疑 They will not be a problem anymore.
副警长 上车 Deputy, let's get into the car
去万德斯本格医生家 and drive out to Dr. Vanderspeigle's house.
找他聊聊关于谋杀案的一些事情 We need to talk to him about some murder stuff.
迈克·汤普森警长 奥莉维亚·贝克副警长 Sheriff Michael Thompson, Deputy Olivia Baker,
我是联邦调查局特工费舍尔 Special Agent Fisher, FBI.
我们一直在追查断脚杀手案件 We're tracking down the Dead Foot Killer.
跟踪你们办案 We've been following your movements
已经有一些时日了 for quite some time now,
不得不说 你们两工作非常优秀 and I have to say, you two do excellent work.
非常感谢 我们感到很欣慰 Thank you. You've made me feel good about myself,
你有什么事我洗耳恭听 so I'm open to what you're going to say next.
没有你两的付出这个案子不会进展的这么快 We wouldn't be where we are if it wasn't for you both.
但是现在我们要接手这个案件 But the time has come for us to take over this case.
好吧 如果你们要接手 Well, if you're taking over,
那我们这头就停止办案了 we should stop looking into the crime.
正是 对于这个案件我只想透漏一点 Exactly. I can only tell you one thing about the case.
凶手不是哈利·万德斯本格 The murderer is not Harry Vanderspeigle.
还好他们对此没有怀疑 Well, you're lucky they bought that.
你知道嘛 当时咱们在裂缝里时 You know, when we were in the crevasse,
我发现了你是外星人 I saw you were an alien.
你当时为什么不抹掉我的记忆 Why didn't you replace my memory?
因为我不想再这么孤独下去 Because I am not alone anymore.
你可以感谢我了 You can thank me if you want.
为什么 For what?
我解决了杀死你朋友山姆的人 I killed the man who killed your friend Sam.
不用谢 You are welcome.
- 好吧 哈利 - 嗯 - Okay, Harry... - Hmm?
你依然还是个杀人犯 You're still a murderer.
不对 我是凶手的凶手 不一样 No. I am a murderer murderer. It's very different.
你可以狡辩你所谓的凶手的凶手理论 You can rationalize your murderer murder all damn day.
但是问题是 But guess what.
阿比盖尔·霍奇斯仍旧被冤枉杀了人 Abigail Hodges is still accused of a murder she didn't commit.
那又怎么样 你根本不喜欢她 So what? You do not even like her.
你有毛病吧 What is wrong with you?
你真的没有一点同情心吗 Do you really have no empathy whatsoever?
这不是我的问题 That is not what is wrong with me.
这是我的优点 That is what is right with me.
或许你可以尝试替别人着想一下 Maybe you should try
穿一下别人的鞋子 putting yourself in other people's shoes.
好恶心 穿别人的鞋子沾一脚别人的脚臭味 Ugh! Other people's shoes smell like other people's feet.
嗨 我是本·霍桑 Hi, I'm Ben Hawthorne,
安逸和祥的科罗拉多州佩西恩斯市长 Mayor of peaceful Patience, Colorado,
这里有时会有一些完全不相关的 where sometimes bad things happen
坏事发生 that are totally unrelated.
科罗拉多州的最高峰 Some of the highest peaks in Colorado
就在佩西恩斯 但你知道这里什么最低吗 are right here in Patience, but you know what's really low?
我们这里的死亡率 Our mortality rate.
我觉得你不应该说死亡率这个词 I don't think you should say "mortality."
- 不好吗 - 不好 - No? - No.
不好 你说的对 是有点太消极了 No good? You're right, it's a little too dark.
- 嗯 - 亚莉克莎 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. Uh, Alexa?
死亡的近义词 What is another word for "mortality"?
同义词有断命 Synonyms for "mortality" meaning "death"
还有致命 杀戮 升天 include "fatality," "bloodshed," or "dying."
亚莉克莎 住嘴 Alexa, stop.
要不这样吧 Uh, you know what?
干脆不提这个死亡主题 Let's just lose the whole, you know, death theme.
- 好 - 对 积极一些 - Yeah. - Yeah. Keep it positive.
- 对 轻松些 - 别太压抑 - Yeah, keep it light. - Keep it loose.
- 好 - 让我 - Yeah. - Okay, let me, uh--
让我试试这些 let me just try some of these.
来佩西恩斯吧 Come on down to Patience.
这里我们仍在使用电话亭 We still have a working phone booth.
有好的牙医 We have a pretty good dentist.
自从大麻在这里合法化后 Our meth hospitalizations have been way down
冰毒住院治疗率大大降低 since we legalized marijuana.
所以 赶紧来佩西恩斯吧 So come to Patience
感受温暖纯洁的天伦之乐 你在听吗 for some good, clean family fun, you hear?
哎呀 Oh! Oops
怎么会有那张照片 How'd that get in there?
我说啥来着亲爱的 不要使用 See, honey, this is... this is why I said not to use
云端 不安全 the cloud for these... it's not safe.
别这么紧张 Oh, don't be so uptight.
没有那么糟糕 What's the worst that happens, huh?
有人黑了我们的账户 Somebody hacks into our account
看到了我们的性虐视频，那有怎样呢 and sees pictures of our BDSM kink play?
- 什么是性虐视频 - 就是 - What's BDSM kink play? - It's--uh, it's--
- 是新游戏的名字吗 - 什么也不是 - Did we get a new game? - It's nothing.
什么也不是 不是新游戏 知道吗 It's nothing. No, we did not, okay?
去打扫你的房间 我的表妹卡琳要来住一晚 Go clean your room--my cousin Carlyn's coming for the night.
我可以和你还有你的表妹一起完性虐游戏吗 Can I play kink play with you and your cousin?
不可以 No!
她要和我一起去远足 Uh, because she and I are going hiking.
快去打扫房间 You go clean your room.
建这个无线电需要多长时间 So how long will building this radio take?
- 我能帮忙吗 - 哈哈 - Can I help? - Ha! Ha!
你说呢 刚出生的小猪能帮着做心脏手术吗 I don't know. Can a newborn pig help perform cardiac surgery?
好 你最好想出一个别的比喻 All right, you might want to think of another metaphor
否则我把你推到车流中 before I push you into traffic.
我只是想要拯救人类 I'm just trying to save the human race here.
问题是我没有太多时间 My problem is I do not have a lot of time to build it,
而人类的科技力量又非常有限 and human technology is very limited.
我不知道该怎么和你说 哈利 I don't know what to tell you, Harry.
格局打开 Get creative.
电影外星人可是动动嘴皮就搞定了 You know, E. T. used a freakin' Speak & Spell.
外星人是个蠢货 E. T. was an idiot.
很性感 Obviously, sexy.
非常有魅力 Very attractive...
但很蠢 but so dumb.
最起码没什么其他事情干扰我们了 Well, at least we have fewer distractions
毕竟你的罪行已经解决了 now that your criminal past is taken care of.
差一点解决 Almost taken care of.
- 现在解决了 - 你认真的吗 - Now it is taken care of. - Are you serious?
别把致死的毒素 Maybe don't throw a deadly toxin
扔在小孩可以接触到的地方啊 where any kid can just grab it.
你看那么多《法律与秩序》 Have you not watched enough "Law & Order" to know
不知道不能把证据丢在垃圾桶里吗 you don't just throw evidence into a trash can?
到底是谁蠢啊 Who's the idiot now?
还是电影外星人 Still E. T.
漂亮傻瓜 Beautiful moron.
干啥 What?
万德斯本格医生 你在家太好了 Dr. Vanderspeigle, I am so glad you're home.
这是我表姐卡琳 This is my cousin Carlyn.
嗨 抱歉 Hi. Sorry.
我们在外面徒步 她被绊倒摔伤膝盖了 We were out hiking, and she tripped and cut her knee open.
- 希望你能帮忙 - 她要死了吗 - I was hoping you could help. - And she's dying?
不是 简单处理就行 No. It just needs to be looked at.
我本来打算带她去镇里的 I was gonna take her into town,
但是斯莫伍德医生... but Dr. Smallwood is...
苏珊·布朗因为手腕伤了去的 Susan Brown went in with a broken wrist
出来的时候脚踝上打着石膏 and came out with a cast on her ankle.
如果我整完了 If I fix it...
你们会离开吗 you'll leave?
是的 Yes.
这看起来像一个环形谐振器 This looks like a ring resonator.
你在造激光器吗 Are you... are you building a laser?
你是会说话的火腿吗 Are you a talking ham?
卡琳在新墨西哥矿业理工大学实验室工作 Carlyn works in a lab at New Mexico Tech.
- 她很聪明 - 我很惊讶 - She's one smart lady. - I'm impressed.
作为一个外行 这个技术含量很高啊 For a layman, this is really quite advanced.
这是以软件为基础的 It is software-based
无线电遥测收发器技术 radio-telemetry-transceiver technology,
不过里面用来做扩散器的薯片袋 but the inside-out potato chip bag
老是融化 that I'm using as a diffuser keeps melting.
我从没遇见过哪个男的对无线电感兴趣 I've never known a guy who was into SDR
但长得却不像个 巨魔 who wasn't also, like, you know, a troll.
巨魔住在桥底下 Trolls live under bridges.
我不是 I am not one of them.
她是说你很帅 It means she thinks you're handsome.
我确实有张帅气的脸庞 I have a handsome human face.
我的肤色和文艺复习的画里 And my skin tone is the same as a dead soldier
死去的士兵一样 in a Renaissance painting.
♪我只是在胡闹♪ I'm just messin' around
♪我只是在胡闹♪ I'm just messin' around, around
♪我只是在胡闹♪ I'm just messin' around
♪我很喜欢♪ Around, and I like it
不管你做什么 别吃零食 Just, whatever you do, don't eat the snacks.
本尼 凯特 Benny. Kate.
好久不见 很久没一起碰见你俩了 Long time, no see... well, together anyway.
我倒是那天晚上近距离接触了你 I saw you up close and personal the other night.
什么晚上 What other night?
打牌啊 Poker.
怎么 你以为我要说哪天晚上 Why? What night did you think I was talking about?
- 你好 我是卡琳 - 嘿 我是达茜 - Hi, I'm Carlyn. - Hey. D'arcy.
需要来点三明治吗 So can I get you guys some sliders?
放了一天和小圆面包为了掩饰放了一周的肉 Day-old buns help disguise the week-old meat.
我们喝点就好 We'll just... we'll stick to liquids.
我们想带卡琳转转镇子 转完了 We just wanted to show Carlyn the town, and now we have.
就花了九分钟 It took about nine minutes.
如果你今晚在的话 If you're here tonight,
我朋友凯拉组织了一场姐妹酒局 my friend Kayla just called a GN59.
是个派对 但有可能会坐牢哦 It's, like, a party but with a decent chance of prison time.
听着不错 Sounds fun.
是啊是啊 Yeah. Yeah.
我们当中如果有人压力大或者遇上什么破事 When anything stressful or shitty happens,
都会叫着来场姐妹酒局 anyone in our friend group can call a GN59.
你必须把丢掉一切 You have to drop everything
来场狂欢姐妹局 and go tits out on a huge girls' night.
很不错的 你们也应该来 Yeah, it's really fun. You should come.
今晚不行 我们约了晚饭 Can't tonight. We have dinner plans.
如果你能找来个酒保 But wouldn't mind ordering a few drinks, though,
我也可以喝几杯 if you can just find that bartender.
来吧 凯特宝 Come on, Kate-o.
你刚不是说把镇里都转完了吗 You just said you'd seen everything in the town.
咱们一定得去 Yeah, we should totally do it.
上一次 I mean, when's the last time
你放肯德拉出来都是什么时候了 you let Kendra out to play?
谁是肯德拉 Who's Kendra?
肯德拉是她的酒后人格 Kendra was her alter ego when she drank too much.
之前她在家庭聚会的的时候来过一出 Oh yeah, she brought her out at a family reunion once
非常狂野 real wild child.
我好难过 你都没见过肯德拉 I'm sad. You've never met Kendra.
- 我也才知道 - 我也很难过 - Yeah. News to me. - I'm sad, too.
我来杯啤酒吧 你们想要什么 I'll have a pilsner, what would you ladies like?
来吧 Come on.
好吧 Okay.
好的 冲 Okay. Let's do it.
走吧 We'll do it.
但是 亲爱的 我们已经叫保姆了 But, hon, we already got a sitter.
那不正好 叫个朋友 你也出去浪 Perfect. Call a friend. You can go out, too.
太好了 Yes!
我们这边能点单吗 Can we get some service around here?
萨哈 我需要你的帮助 Hey, Sahar, I need your help.
等一下 你什么时候养狗了 Wait, when did you get a dog?
我不能养狗 I'm not allowed to have a dog.
我帮我邻居遛肉桂 I walk Cinnamon for my neighbors.
她三天没拉屎了 She hasn't pooped in three days.
为什么 Why not?
她吞了一整个牛油果 She swallowed a whole avocado.
我都不走她后面了 I don't walk behind her anymore.
你得帮我再剃一次毛 You got to help me shave again.
你的脸看着还行啊 Your face looks fine.
不是我的脸 It's not my face.
- 什么鬼 - 怎么了 - What? - What?
- 我得需要个锄草机 - 我做什么了 - I need a lawnmower for that! - What do I do?
我可以帮你 I can help you,
但我们需要找个隐蔽的地方 but we're gonna need some privacy.
我上周发现的 I found it last week.
你妈妈的手机还有电 Your mom's phone still had battery.
他们就 They just...
留在这了 left it here.
酷 Cool.
我们要去哪将军 All right, where are we going, General?
不 No.
不不不 别坏啊 No, no, no. No, don't die on me now.
拜托 Come on.
妈的 Damn it!
我上哪找新的啊 Where the hell am I gonna find a new dish?
做这个我内心不安啊 I feel bad doing this.
你为什么不看啊 Why aren't you looking?
看一个不是我亲戚也不是我丈夫的 It's against my religion to look at the naked back
男人裸背 有违我的信仰 of a man who's not my relative or my husband.
而且 很恶心 Plus, it's disgusting.
会疼吗 Is it gonna hurt?
我妈妈说她脱腿毛的时候 My mom says when she waxes her legs,
感觉就像被一千只大黄蜂蜇了一样 it feels like being stung by a thousand hornets.
那她为什么还这么做 Then why does she do it?
因为我们一旦进入青春期 Because as soon as we hit puberty,
西方文化就告诉女性 不能保持原生状态 Western culture tells women we're not okay as we are.
我们必须要把该有的丢弃 We must rip out stuff that's supposed to be there,
加上不该有的东西 insert stuff that's not supposed to be there,
再把肉眼可见的部分都漂白 and bleach everything visible to the naked eye.
做男人也很辛苦 Hey, being a man is hard, too.
我有的时候还得刷牙 I have to brush my teeth sometimes.
我收回那句话 我不觉得抱歉了 I take it back. I don't feel bad anymore.
迈克 Miguel...
我的臭宝 my belle.
你为什么这么叫我 What the hell did you just call me?
没什么 老铁 No, nothing, bro-ham.
休息一下而已 Just taking a little breaky, you know?
小憩 A little break-a-rindo.
玩具狗 Dog toy.
你有一个禅宗花园 You got one of those, Zen gardens.
我很喜欢这些东西 I love these things.
我可以玩玩嘛 May I?
已经感觉放松了 Yep. Yeah, more relaxed already.
我是想 So, I was just wondering
我来 我来 I'll... I'll get that.
你有喝过小麦啤酒吗 Hey, you ever tried those wheat beers?
放片柠檬的那种 You know, the one where you put the lemon in there?
我听说还挺好喝的 I hear they're, they're pretty tasty.
你到底想干嘛 老铁 What do you want, bro-ham?
你是想约我出去吗 What, are you asking me out on a date or something?
不不 好吧是 No, no. Well, yeah.
兄弟约会 哥们间的那种 But a guy date... guy hang, you know?
喝点酒 吹点牛 Just a couple brews, mano a mano,
好好嗨一下 "caliente accione."
我没时间陪你玩 Look, I ain't got time for that, okay?
我还要照顾在家的父亲 I take care of my father at home.
当然 Sure.
我需要你把那些沙子收拾好 Now, I need you to clean up all this damn sand
因为我每天需要扒拉三十分钟 'cause I need 30 minutes of raking every day
我可以放松 so I can relax.
我刚好知道路易斯很想 I happen to know that Lewis would love
出门去喝点啤酒 to get out of the house and have a beer.
我会考虑一下 怎么样 I'll think about it. How about that?
千万别提起这事 千万 You don't ever tell, never.
等等 他说了他没有吻回去啊 Now, hold on a minute--the man said he didn't reciprocate.
这不重要 It don't matter.
这种事是死都不能说的 This is something you take to your grave, okay?
嗯 也许我可以 Well, maybe I could, um--
给她写张纸条 I could write her a note,
解释一下发生了什么 you know, explaining what happened.
你还想给她写张纸条 You want to-- you want to write her a note?
好吧 我觉得你应该这么做 Okay. All right, look, here's what I want you to do.
我给你5美元 Here go $5.
你就拿着这钱去一趟商场 Now, I want you to go down to the mall.
你知道那个小店吧 All right, you know that kiosk
他们可以把你的名字刻在一粒米上 where they'll write your name on a grain of rice?
你把这5刀付给店主 Right, you're gonna give that guy that $5.
他就会帮你把你想说的话刻在子弹末端 He gonna write your note on the end of a bullet, right?
然后你就拿着子弹 Now, I want you to take that bullet.
装进枪里带回家 I want you to put it in a gun and go home
站在浴缸里 and stand in your bathtub.
你同时需要一本电话簿 Now, you also gonna need a phone book--
不要像佩西恩斯的薄本 not something thin like Patience,
要丹佛那种厚厚的 something with some girth like--like Denver, right?
你就把电话簿抵在 And you gonna put that phone book
你脑袋的一边 up against one side of your head,
然后把枪抵在 and you gonna take that gun
脑袋的另一边 and put it against the other side, right?
然后朝你脑袋来一枪 And then you're gonna shoot you right in the head,
那颗子弹就会贯穿你的脑袋 and that bullet's gonna fly right through and lodge itself
正中D列 代表你蠢到家了 right around the D's, for dumbass.
然后她就会收到你的信息 And she'll get your note.
但那样我就死了 But I'm dead.
反正你告诉她也是死路一条 You tell her, you dead anyway.
那边到底发生了什么 You guys, what the hell is happening over there?
哦 我觉得已经显而易见了 Ooh, I think we know what's going to happen.
- 哦... - 我不相信他 - Oh... - I don't--I don't trust him.
你的脉搏在加速 Your pulse is quickening.
你的上胸口已经一片通红了 Your upper sternum is becoming flushed.
你已经开始动情了 You are becoming aroused.
- 没错 - 嘿 哈利 - I am now. - Hey, Harry.
我可以和你说两句吗 Can I please talk to you for a second?
- 忙着呢 - 就现在 - I am so busy. - Now.
别去换衣服哦 Don't go changing.
怎么了 What is it?
她已经要像猴子一样血脉偾张了 She is about to present like an engorged macaque.
你在玩弄她 You are preying on this woman.
我可没有玩弄她 I am not preying on her.
我只是想色诱她 然后偷她的门禁卡 I am seducing her so I can steal her security badge,
我就可以溜进实验室偷一个扩散器 then I can break into the lab and steal a diffuser,
来修好我的无线电 and then finish my radio.
真是个烂计划 That's a terrible plan.
你就打算偷了她的卡 You're gonna swipe her badge
然后溜进安保森严的实验室 and--and just use it at some high-security lab
还想着不会被人发现 and think no one will notice?
更重要的是 More importantly,
你不能像这样去利用别人 you--you can't just use people like that.
这样太残忍了 It's cruel.
我在努力称赞她 I am giving her compliments.
她自己也开心得像孩子 She is happy like a baby,
那种傻着乐的孩子 like a stupid, happy baby.
你永远不会明白当女人的感觉 You'll just never understand what it's like to be a woman.
你说的没错 That is true.
我得走了 I am going to leave now.
晚安 Good night!
- 发生了什么 - 嗯 - Wait, what just happened? - Uh...
- 是我做错了什么吗 - 不 我很抱歉 - What--what did I do? - Nothing. I'm sorry.
这个镇上的所有男人都烂透了 All the men in this town suck, too.
别发愁了 卡琳宝贝 Don't sweat it, Carly Q.
这本来就是女孩之夜 It's supposed to be a girls' night anyway.
嗯 你说着简单 Yeah, that's easy for you to say.
我都看见你家冰箱里的那根假冰棒棒了 I saw that ice dildo in your freezer.
- 芜 - 好了 - Whoo! - Okay, all right.
朱迪的衣服都要掉下来了 Okay, uh, Judy's clothes are coming off.
该去游艇上了 走吧 Time to go to the yacht spot. Come on.
哦 我们是要坐游艇了吗 Ooh, we're going on a boat?
不是的 阿斯塔以前有一辆旅行车 Uh, no, Asta used to have this station wagon
我们叫它"游艇" 我们有时候会 we called "The Yacht," and we'd drive it
骑它到森林深处 像傻子一样边喝酒边唱歌 to the middle of the woods and drink and sing like idiots.
而且我总是在那上面吐出来 And, plus, it's where I usually barf,
在某种意义上它确实非常像一条船 so it's kind of like a boat in that way.
- 哦 - 我还是回家吧 - Oh. - I should go.
我明天还要早起开车 You know, I got to get up early and drive, so...
别酱 No.
好吧 我和你一起 Okay. Well, I'll come with you.
不用了 你就留下来吧 我很好 No, no, no, you stay. I'm fine.
- 你确定吗 - 她很确定 - You sure? - Uh, she's sure.
在你提起那根假棒棒的一瞬间 When you brought ice dildos into this conversation,
你就已经为今晚做出了承诺 you made a commitment to this night.
真的是爷青回了 你也想回到那段时光吗 This takes me back, man. You want to go back?
干嘛 我的老天 What? Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 你有感觉到它吗 警长 - 啊 - You feel it, Sheriff? - Ah...
- 你想进一步感受一下吗 - 哦 老天救救我 - You want to feel it? - Oh, Lord, have mercy.
哦 别装了 和她跳一支吧 Aw, come on. Dance with the girl.
你就想看这个吗 Is that what you call it?
嘿 你都要把我推下去了 Hey, don't be pushing me off the stool.
你有什么毛病 好吧 走起 What's wrong with you? Okay. All right, yeah, go ahead.
嘿 亲爱的 你要回家给保姆结账吗 Hey, hon, you, uh--you heading home to pay the sitter?
不 你去结账吧 我们几姐妹要去坐游艇了 Nope, you pay her. We are going to the yacht spot.
哦 Ooh.
我太期待你的连任竞选了 I cannot wait for the re-election campaign.
致上我崇高的敬意 好吗 It's--Respect, okay?
- 我们为你感到骄傲 - 我也是 - We're so proud of you. - I'm really proud of you.
你想加点冰到饮料里吗 Do you need--do you need ice in that drink?
哦耶 Oh, yeah.
给我再详细讲讲那个在米粒上刻字的人 Tell me more about the guy who does the rice thing.
你还记得以前我们班在这野营吗 You remember class camping trips out here?
嗯 Yes.
三年级的时候 达茜因为大冒险 Third grade, D'arcy rolling in poison ivy...
在毒藤上打滚 on a dare.
我们还得轮着去给她挠痒痒 We had to take turns itching her.
哦 我的天哪 Oh, my God.
哦 Oh.
她总是我行我素 She's always been so her.
随心所欲 She's free.
不是所有人可以像那样子 Not everyone can be like that.
所有人都爱她 Everyone loves her.
就像拥有超能力一样 It's a superpower...
不去在乎别人怎么想 not caring what anyone thinks.
大家也都爱着你 Everyone loves you, too.
嗯 但这只是因为我待人友善 Yes, but it's only because I'm nice.
你还给我开过罚单 You gave me a ticket once
就因为我把自行车锁在停车牌旁 for locking my bike to a stop sign.
你没有那么友善 You're not that nice.
哦 天啊 Oh, Christ on a cracker!
- 搞什么 - 不 - What? - No!
哦 放轻松 你们这群小废物 Oh, relax, you complete degenerates.
我后备箱里有一个电池充电器 I keep a battery charger in my trunk!
烂车 烂车 Poop car! Poop car!
丽芙 我不敢相信你还开着这辆死亡陷阱 Oh, Liv, I can't believe you still drive this death trap.
没关系的 我已经习惯了 Oh, it's fine. I'm used to it.
市面上有很多新车 You know, I read recently that they make new cars now.
约翰想要一个新的乘式割草机 John wants a new riding mower,
我们也攒够了钱 所以... and we have money set aside for that, so...
约翰都要换新的割草机了 John's getting a new riding mower
但你都还没一辆正常运行的车 before you get a car that actually works?
是我让他换的 Well, it was my idea.
他赚的比较多 这样比较公平 He makes more than I do, so it's fair.
等等 约翰比你赚的多 Hold up. John makes more than you?
我也是干他那行的 I do what John does.
你每天冒着生命危险 You put your life on the line every day.
你上次加薪是什么时候 When--when's the last time you got a raise?
从来没有过 I've never gotten a raise.
- 不是吧 - 哦 - What? - Oh.
- 不会吧 - 哇呜 - Okay, no, no. - Wow.
我觉得这样不太好 I'm not sure this is a good idea.
哦 确实 但我们还是要这么做 Oh, it's not, but we're doing it anyway.
作为城市里的一名打工人 As a city employee,
镇上的预算里也有你的一份薪水 your salary is part of the town's budget.
所以我们一定要搞清楚这份蛋糕有多大 So we got to figure out how big is this pie
以及为什么分给你的蛋糕那么小 and why is your piece so goddamn small.
特别是在你是一个天才画家的时候 Especially when you're a freakin' Picasso.
是你画的这张画吗 Did you draw this picture?
嗯 我是给警察局画罪犯肖像的 Yeah, I draw police composites of criminals,
我应该把我们也画下来 which we are now.
嘿 这是我老公的办公室 好吗 Hey! This is my husband's office, okay?
我们想去哪就去哪 We can be wherever we want.
严格意义上我们不算私闯 因为我们有钥匙 We didn't technically break in, because we had a key.
- 朱迪 - 朱迪 - Judy! - Judy!
嘘 别动 Shh! Stop!
慢着 找到了 找到了 Wait, found it, found it, found it.
《科罗拉多州佩西恩斯镇公务员工资表》 "Civic Payroll for the Town of Patience, Colorado."
没人会知道的 No one's gonna know.
作为一名地球女性 As a woman in this world,
你要为自己所应得的东西而奋斗 you need to fight for what you deserve.
并且你值得加薪 And you deserve a goddamn raise.
额 天哪 哪个是彼得·基纳克 Ugh. Jesus Christ! Who's Peter Jignac?
他好像是个协管员吧 I think he's, um, a crossing guard, I think.
他赚的钱都可以买一个割草机和一辆新车了 He makes enough for a new riding mower and a new car.
什么 What?
- 谁是布兰登·陶特 - 哦 - Who's Brandon Touter? - Oh.
他是新的科学老师 He's the new science teacher.
他人其实很好 He's actually a really nice guy.
他赚的是你的两倍 Well, he makes twice what you do.
混蛋 Prick.
搞什么 你不是律师吗 What? Weren't you a lawyer?
我可是法学博士 搞什么 I have a JD/PhD. What the...?
是谁管着这个预算的 Who the hell is in charge of this budget?
我知道是谁 I know who.
他就住在我的房子里 He lives in my goddamn house.
♪致所有让我神伤的混蛋♪ For all the ones who bum me out
♪黑名单♪ Shit list
♪那些让我的脑袋充满疑惑的人♪ For all the ones who fill my head with doubt
♪黑名单♪ Shit list
♪那些激怒我的无聊老顽固♪ For all the squares who get me pissed
♪黑名单♪ Shit list
♪你们统统都上了我的黑名单♪ You've made my shit list
♪黑名单♪ Shit list
绑匪 Kidnappers!
哦不 不 不是的 Oh, no. Oh, no. Nope.
醒醒 Wake up.
本 在做噩梦的不是你 是我们 You're not having a nightmare, Ben. We are.
你知道什么是噩梦吗 You know what's a nightmare?
工资只有一美元的七十六美分 Getting paid 76 cents on the dollar.
什么 What?
没错 镇上男女员工的收入差距 Yeah, there is a blatant pay gap
可非常明目张胆 between the male and female employees of this town.
什么 不 作为市长 我只是对预算签字 What? No, a-a-as mayor, I only sign off on budgets
作为市长 你必须改变这一切 A-a-as mayor, you need to fix this!
嗯嗯 Mm-hmm.
这公然的性别歧视让我感到恶心 Yeah, the blatant sexism makes me sick.
- 没错 - 恶心 - Yeah, damn right. - Sick.
- 哦 宝 - 真的很恶心 - Oh, honey. - It's really gross.
- 我都反胃了 - 不 不 - Sick to my stomach. - No, no.
- 哦 - 天哪 不是吧 - Oh. - Oh, God, no.
你是我最好的朋友 You're my best friend.
- 是 - 我爱你 - That's right. - I love you.
- 你看见了吗 - 要来了 - You see that? - It's coming up.
好痛 It hurts.
哈利 Harry.
我带了咖啡 I brought coffee.
我们需要讨论一下广播的事 定个计划 We're gonna need to make a plan about that radio...
哦 天哪 Oh, God!
不是吧 别告诉我你和哈利勾搭上了 No! Don't tell me you hooked up with Harry.
行 我不说 Okay, I will not.
等等 Wait.
- 哈利 - 嗨 阿斯塔 - Harry? - Hi, Asta.
哦 天 Oh, God! Shit!
你得跟我去一趟墨西哥 You have to come with me to New Mexico,
不过首先 你能教教我怎么上厕所吗 but, first, can you teach me how to pee?
索科鲁 新墨西哥州
她一路上都没眨过眼睛 She hasn't blinked the entire trip.
这不对劲 哈利 Oh, this is wrong, Harry.
哦 Ooh.
不对劲 而且非常奇怪 Ah! Wrong and super weird.
让我变成她可是你的主意 It was your idea for me to become her.
不 不 不 不 别赖到我头上 No, no, no, no, no, do not put this on me.
我不可能让你在没经过人家同意的情况下 I would never tell you to take over a woman's body
占据一个女人的身体 without her consent.
昨天晚上她想让我用下体占有她 She wanted me to take over her body last night
但我没这么做 with my penis, but I did not do that.
哦 天哪 不是吧 Oh, God, no.
这可不仅仅是身体这么简单 好吗 It's not just about her body, okay?
我们入侵了她的整个生活 It's a whole life we're invading.
应该能有更好的方式的 There has to be a better way.
能及时接触到微型卫星网络 To access a microsatellite network in time
告诉我的同胞们不要来这里 to tell my people not to come here
然后像高温车里的蜡笔一样把你们融化吗 and melt you all like crayons in a hot car?
我能等 I'll wait.
可恶 Shit.
可恶（拉屎） Shit. Shit.
- 在这里吗 - 不 不是 哈利 - Right here? - No, no, Harry.
我们先把这里解决了 Let's just get this over with.
那是你昨晚穿的衣服 That's what you were wearing last night,
所以你去实验室之前必须换身衣服 so you have to go change before you get to the lab.
这具身体很臃肿 This body is quite stout.
快去 Hurry.
好吧 Fine.
这根本说不通啊 This doesn't make any sense.
这里说太空飞行之后血浆睾酮 This says plasma levels
和三碘甲状腺原氨酸水平 of testosterone and triiodothyronine
会有所降低 were diminished after space flight,
但好像你的睾酮水平 but it seems like your testosterone levels
反而越来越高了 are getting higher.
我错过了什么 What am I missing?
我是说 你有没有觉得加速了 I mean, do you feel like it's accelerating?
干嘛像这样看着我 Why are you looking at me like that?
你好啊 美女 Hello, pretty lady.
哦 不 Oh, no!
现在是这样了吗 So is this it now?
你随时都可以变成 You're just gonna change into different people
其他人的样子 whenever you want?
一般来说 Under normal circumstances,
很难经常这么做 it is too difficult to do often,
但我飞船上的能量球让这事 but the energy balls from my ship
变得很轻松 make it effortless,
他们对衣服里的有机物质也有效 and they work on the organic matter in clothing as well.
不过我的胸罩尺寸好像不对 Except I think it got my bra size wrong.
吊带都勒出勒痕了 The wire leaves dents in my skin.
等你系上皮带再说吧 Yeah, well, wait until you put on a thong.
哦好 Oh, yes.
这么晚还在加班啊 亲爱的卡琳 Working late, Carlyn, my darlin'?
我就想带点 - I'm just trying to...
腌制的猪肉片回家 bring home the salt-cured pork slices.
晚安 Good night.
怎么不多留一会儿 Why don't you stick around for a bit?
♪我以为你完全想明白了♪ I think you got it all figured out
♪但其实你毫无头绪♪ But you ain't got a clue
啊啊啊啊啊 Aah!
♪我何时才能说出适可而止♪ When's gonna be the time I say enough is enough?
♪我不是谁的走狗♪ I ain't nobody's sucker
♪没人能挡我的路♪ Nobody's gonna stand in my way
你确定她不会感到任何不同吗 Are you sure she's not gonna feel any different?
我是说 她会以为过去一天 I mean, what does she think happened to her
发生了什么 in the last 24 hours?
她会记得她准备在 She will remember going to sleep
斯诺弗雷克市长家睡觉 早上开车回去 at Mayor Snowflake's house, driving home in the morning,
然后再沙发上愉快地小憩了一番 and then having a pleasant nap on the couch.
是大憩 Long nap.
她喜欢大憩 She likes long naps.
可比醒来面对真实生活好多了 And it is better than being awake for her real life.
她的老板人很差 Her boss is a bad man.
是的 她之前说过 Yeah, she said something about that.
呃 她老板再也不会来骚扰她了 Mm. He will not bother her again.
你做了什么 What did you do?
你要是拥有相当于六只大猩猩的力量 The same thing you would have done...
你也会做的事 if you had the strength of six gorillas.
我很高兴从她身体里出来了 I am glad to be out of her body.
人们对待她就像休息室的酸奶 People treated it like break-room yogurt.
即使她的名字还在上面 Even though her name was on it,
当他们饥渴的时候 they felt comfortable molesting it
还是很享受骚扰她 when they were hungry.
长得矮太糟糕了 It is awful being short.
哈利 那不是因为她长得矮 Harry, that's not because she's short.
是因为她是女人 这就是这个世界 That's being a woman. Welcome to our world.
你是说你们走在街上 都会感受到 You mean you all feel the eyes hunting you
注视的目光 就像森林里被捕猎的小鹿 like a baby deer in the woods, just walking down the street?
是的 我本来想跟你说的 Yeah. I tried to tell you.
下次有女人想跟你说事情的时候 You know, next time a woman tries to tell you something,
请坐下 闭上嘴 认真听 sit down, shut up, and listen.
要是你需要说什么 And if you feel the need to say anything,
那就是 "好的 女士" all it needs to be is, "Yes, ma'am."
好的 好的 Yes. Yes.
嗯 Mm.
好耶 Yes!
坐下 外星人 Sit down, space man.
坐下 Sit!
我知道你的银球的事 I know all about your silver balls.
我知道马克斯偷了一个 I know Max stole one, and that's why he's been acting
导致他像电视里那些发情的狮子一样 like springtime lions in those nature videos,
我还知道你明明知道他有一个球 but I also know you knew he had a ball
但却没有阻止他 and did nothing to stop him.
现在你不可能把你的球拿回去了 Guess what. You're not getting your ball back.
我把它藏在了一个你永远也找不到的地方 I've hidden it where you'll never find it,
我猜既然现在球已经不在了 and I'm guessing now that it's gone,
马克斯会恢复正常的 Max will go back to normal.
要是他没有 我会再找你的 And if he doesn't, you are going to hear from me.
懂了吗 Do you understand?
好的 女士 Yes, ma'am.
很好 Good.
人类认为他们都应该拥有一些特定的权利 Humans believe they all deserve certain rights--
被倾听的权利 被尊重的权利 the right to be heard, the right to be respected.
要求一些生活中本就该得到的东西应该不难 Asking for what you deserve in life should not be so hard,
佩西恩斯女性不再忍了 我们要求平等工资
但对其他人而言 but for others,
要求一些本该得到的东西也可能非常困难 asking for what they deserve can be very difficult.
嗨 达茜 Hey, D'arce!
嗨 姑娘 Okay! Yes, girl!
- 你觉得这车怎么样 - 哇 很帅 - What do you think? - Wow, very fancy, girl!
拿你应得的东西吧 Get your things!
- 谢谢 - 好的 - Thank you! - Okay.
乱贴传单违反了佩西恩斯民法典1-8-22条 Posting flyers is against Patience civil code 1-8-22.
事实上得到他们应得的东西 And actually getting what they deserve
有时需要一点英雄主义 sometimes requires an act of heroism.
哇 哈 Whoo! Ha!
佩西恩斯女性 不再忍了 Women of Patience, have patience no more!
我们要求平等工资 We demand equal pay!
走吧 达茜 Way to go, D'arce!
哇 是达茜 Wow, it's D'arcy.
她太了不起了 你不觉得吗 God, she is incredible, don't you think?
宝 有些事我得跟你说 Honey, there's something I got to tell you.
什么 What is it?
我要去和镇议会开会讨论 I'm gonna have a word with the town assembly
然后解决收入不平等的问题 and fix this pay gap.
你做得对 Yeah, you are.
哇 Wow.
非常自信果断呢 Way to be assertive, honey.
很性感 It's very sexy.
- 我会考虑的 - 他肯定会去 - I'll‐‐I'll think about it. ‐ He'll definitely be there.
♪我脑袋里全都是你♪ I've got you stuck in my head
谢谢你邀我们来派对 Thanks for letting us crash your party.
人多热闹嘛 The more, the merrier.
说起来 前面有一次姐妹聚会 You know, a few GN59s ago,
我们最后需要找其他人 we actually needed a few extra people
才能把达茜装在独轮车里推回家 and a wheelbarrow to carry D'arcy home.
不是吧 Oh, wait. No.
是真的 我这次有备而来 Yeah. I came prepared this time.
要赶紧逃跑的话 这玩意用得上... I might need to make a quick getaway, so...
- 嗨 - 嗨 这是我表妹卡琳 ‐ Hi. ‐ Hi, this is my cousin Carlyn.
嗨 我是凯拉 Hi. Kayla.
- 很高兴认识你 - 你还好吗 发生什么事了 ‐ Nice to meet you. ‐ Are you okay? What happened?
是啊 肖恩还好吗 Yeah, is everything okay with Shane?
他没问题的 Yes. Yeah, he's fine.
我只是需要出门散散心 I just needed to get out of the house.
好吧 我还担心来着 Oh, okay, I was worried.
作为母亲 我相当理解你 Can I just say‐‐ as a mom, I'm with you.
有的时候真的需要逃出家门 透口气 Sometimes needing to get out of the house is an emergency.
没错 谢谢你 Yes. Yes, thank you.
我真需要从管家婆的身份里喘口气 You know, you just need a kid‐ and a man‐free zone.
完全赞成 Amen to that.
我还没有男人或小孩要照顾 I mean, I don't have a kid or a man,
但好歹也听了不少八卦 but, you know, anecdotal evidence would support that.
在我家那个镇子 男人没一个好东西 The town I live in, all the men really suck.
我那实验室主管动不动就揩我油 My lab supervisor thinks grabbing my buttocks
还一副理所应当的样子 is one of his job perks.
我都开始怀疑 I was really beginning
自己有生之年能不能遇上好男人了 to think I was never gonna meet a nice guy.
直到今天 Till today, that is.
等等 你在这里钓到男人了 Wait, you met a guy here?
今天 在佩西恩斯吗 Today? In Patience?
不可能 谁啊 No way. Who?
上帝啊 Jesus God.
♪我脑袋里全都是你♪ I've got you stuck in my head ♪
你来这干嘛 What are you doing here?
你说过 你扔下那台无线电一分钟 You told me that every minute you're not working on the radio
我们就离死近一分钟 is a minute we all come closer to certain death.
我确实在捣鼓那台无线电 I am working on the radio,
但没有扩散器 一切都白搭 but without a diffuser, it will never work.
那个高马尾女人的表妹 The pony‐haired one's cousin
在实验室研究员 is a scientist in a lab...
她那儿有便携式扩散器 that uses portable diffusers.
所以呢 So what?
我知道论颜值比不上电影里的外星人 I know that I am not as pretty as E. T.
我没长球根一样的圆头 I do not have his bulbous football head
柯基一样的短腿 or his squat corgi legs or his...
或鸭嘴兽脚 platypus feet,
但我也能在有需要的时候 but I can be a charming alien
做个魅力四射的外星人 when I need to be.
你经常来这儿吗 So do you come here a lot?
全世界那么多酒吧 Of all the gin joints in all the world,
就这家离我最近 this one is closest to my house.
这是什么香水 What is that perfume?
卓悦强效保湿修护霜 Jergens Intense Moisture Therapy.
我拿过医学学士 洗手洗出习惯了 I did a BM earlier, so I had to wash them.
因为做实验搓得太勤 I get acute dermatitis
我还得了急性皮炎 'cause I scrub them so often in the lab,
因此随身都带着修护霜 so I carry it in my purse.
换我 尿完都不洗手 I don't wash my hands after I urinate.
我的大宝贝干净又卫生 The skin on my penis is very clean.
格拉姆总是在念叨哈利 Gram keeps asking about Harry.
我想她喜欢他 I think she likes him.
我猜她想要你俩的宝宝 I think she wants you to have his baby.
太恶心了 闭嘴吧 Ew! Gross! Shut up!
你才闭嘴 You shut up.
话说 我可以问问 Hey, actually, can I ask
你对一些事情的专业建议吗 your professional opinion about something?
你觉得阿比盖尔·霍奇斯接下来会怎样 What do you think is gonna happen to Abigail Hodges?
就是山姆的妻子 You know, Sam's wife?
你觉得她会去坐牢吗 Um, you think she's gonna go to jail?
刑法并不是我的专精领域 You know, criminal law isn't really my area,
但据我所知 but from what I've read,
她应该不会被定罪 I don't think they're gonna get a conviction.
不好意思 Yeah, sorry.
我的意思是 如果 如果她没做那件事 Um, you know, I mean, if she‐‐if she didn't do it.
但她大概率下手了 一般都是配偶干的 Oh, but she probably did. I mean, it's always the spouse.
我也是个律师 I'm a lawyer, too.
不是吧 你在哪实习的 No way. Where do you practice?
我没有 I don't.
我放弃了梦想 在这个小镇上相夫教子 I gave up my dream to be a mom and live in this tiny town.
我很幸福 走一个 Now I'm happy. Shots?
我想要... I would like to...
看看你的工作 go by your work.
或许我能去你的实验室参观吗 Maybe you could give me a tour of your lab.
你有兴趣 我很开心 I love that you're interested.
真是抬举我 但不行 That's very flattering, but I can't.
安保很严格 和我下面一样紧 Security is so tight, not dissimilar to my vagina.
你下面也像个实验室吗 Your vagina is like a lab?
是 它很难突破的 Yeah, it's‐‐ it's tough to get in.
是吗 It is?
进去以后会发现光滑又整洁 Lots of neat stuff once you're there.
- 有猴笼吗 - 那倒没有 ‐ Are there monkeys in cages? ‐ No.
或许会很有趣吧... Maybe it would be funny...
如果你去偷一个 A big joke if you stole
便携式扩散器... a telemetry diffuser...
并把它交给我 And gave it to me.
他们会吓死的 They would freak out.
肯定有趣极了 You could be so funny.
你就是怪盗基德 You're a kidder.
你应该这么做 You should do it.
- 我的天啊 - 去吧 ‐ Oh, my God. ‐ Do it!
- 不行 - 必须行 ‐ No. ‐ Do it.
但你这么问真是太贴心了 But you are so sweet to ask.
嘿 是丽芙吗 Hey, is that Liv?
告诉她快点 她迟到了 Tell her to hurry up. She's late.
并不是 只是杰伊 挺多戏一男的 Uh, no, it's just Jay. Just guy drama.
哇 你们常互发消息吗 Oh. Wow, you‐‐you guys text?
大部分时间都是拿茄子表情包斗图 Yeah, mostly emojis. Mostly eggplants.
那很酷啊 你们现在是哥们儿了 Wow, that's cool. You guys are buddies now.
各位酒鬼们好啊 Hey, GN59rs.
抱歉 来迟了 Sorry, I'm late!
特里克茜启动不了 我只好扔下她了 Trixie wouldn't start. I had to jump her again.
还好你终于到了 Thank God you're finally here.
抱歉 我也来晚了 Hey‐o! Sorry! I'm late, too.
但终究还是到了 对吧 But I'm here, though, finally, right?
谢谢你 我正需要这个呢 Ooh, thank you. I could use that.
那是 算了吧 That's‐‐ Never mind.
那是啥啊 Ugh, what is that?
是杯金汤力 It's a gin and tonic.
真是奇特 Ugh, it's, like, fancy.
我去放个水 马上回来 Okay, I got to piss. I'll be back.
- 你告诉她的吗 - 我没有 ‐ You text her? ‐ No!
- 她怎么永远都知道 - 人家消息灵通 - How does she always know? ‐ She always knows.
好吧 All right.
好吧 真是不错 All right, this is great.
不行 老婆在那边呢 我们走吧 Nope, wife in the corner. We're out of here.
你还想去哪 小子 Where else do you plan to go, son?
这可不是纽约 This isn't New York City.
嘿本尼 Hey! Benny!
我们会保护好你对象的 Your girl's safe with me, okay?
那她会照顾好我吗 But am I safe with her?
你们这里有掺老鼠药的啤酒没 Do you have any beer with rat poison in it?
这人什么毛病 What's wrong with this one, ha?
♪尽情撒欢吧♪ Swing, little darling
♪只要老爹还没回家♪ Swing until your daddy come home
凯特 你干得不错 Kate, you did good.
还好本把警长带出去喝酒了 It was so nice of Ben to take the Sheriff out for a drink.
本人真好 Ben is so sweet.
他才不好呢 他就是个肮脏小婊子 No, he's not. He's a dirty little bitch.
你说什么 I'm sorry?
绑好腰带 姑娘们 Gird your loins, ladies.
我猜肯德拉出场了 I think Kendra has arrived.
市长的工作真是恶心 The mayor is a nasty piece of work.
我真想回家 I cannot wait to get home
让他甩我一个狗头面具 and let him slap a puppy hood on me
再塞个口球 and jam a ball gag in my mouth.
什么 Oh, what?
你指本 做蜡烛的本吗 Ben‐‐ the one who makes candles?
他那些蜡可不止是为了做蜡烛 Uh, the wax he has isn't just for candles.
我冰箱里冻了根23厘米长的假棒棒冰 I have a nine‐inch ice dildo in my freezer
马克斯一直以为我要放水瓶里 that Max thinks is for my water bottles.
天啊 今晚真够劲爆 Oh, God, this is my favorite night.
前所未有的刺激 This is the best night of my life.
你能别看你老婆了吗 Can you please stop looking at your wife?
- 太怪了 - 你看 - It's weird. ‐ Look, I, uh‐‐
我想跟你讲件事 I got to talk to you about something.
我快被搞疯了 It's driving me crazy.
大概一个礼拜前 Okay, so, about a week ago,
达茜她... D'arcy sort of...
亲了我 kissed me.
只碰了一下 不是我的错 It was a drive‐by. Not my fault.
没伸舌头 No tongue.
好吧伸了一点儿 Some tongue.
我只是 觉得自己必须告诉凯特 I just‐‐I really think that I should tell Kate.
你是失了智吗 Have you‐‐ have you lost your mind?