幻灭
第二季 第十集
国王遭到了袭击 The king has been stricken.
公主对他挥舞了魔杖 The princess drew her magic wand on him.
上面的魔法还热乎着 Still hot with magic.
一切都还好吧 Is everything all right?
不 你这白痴 出事了 No, you idiot. Everything is not all right.
现在快去发布官方声明 就说一切都好 Now, go make a public proclamation that everything is all right.
巫师 为国王提供最好的医疗服务 Sorcerio, get the king the finest medical care in the kingdom.
这就去 I'm on it.
你说"这就去"的时候 Now, when you say "I'm on it,"
是代表你会去 does that mean you will go out
寻找全国最好的医疗费服务 and find the best medical care in the kingdom,
还是你认为凭你自己 or that you think you, yourself,
就可以提供全国最好的医疗服务 can provide the best medical care in the kingdom?
这就去 I'm on it?
梅尔兹 特比什 带陛下 Mertz, Turbish, take His Majesty
回到卧室 悉心照料 to his bedchamber with the utmost care.
小心点 Careful!
我来照顾我爸 你把王国的事打理好 行吗 I can take care of my dad. You take care of the kingdom, okay?
很好 Very well.
彭德格斯特 把公主收押 Pendergast, place the princess under house arrest.
什么 What?
对不起 爸 等等 收押是什么意思 Sorry, Dad. Wait, what do you mean, "House arrest"?
我只是通过收押你这个刺客的方式 I'm simply taking care of the kingdom
来保护王国 by detaining you, the assassin.
等等 你看到发生什么了 Wait a minute. You saw what happened.
这是意外 我谁都没想杀 It was an accident. I wasn't trying to kill anybody.
蒂尔碧妮 我只是想规避一场宪法危机罢了 Tiabeanie, I am merely trying to avoid a constitutional crisis.
我们根本没有宪法 We don't even have a constitution.
所以才会有危机啊 带她下去 That's what makes it a crisis. Take her away!
我真喜欢说这句话 I love saying that.
第二十章 蒂尔碧妮的陨落
真是噩梦一场 Ugh. What a nightmare.
他们不可能永远把我关在这 They can't keep me in here forever.
对不起 我收到了严格的命令 Sorry, I'm under strict orders
要一直把你关在这 还有特比什 to keep you here forever. Also, Turbish.
-特比什呢 -他在盯着你的窗户呢 - So, where is Turbish? - He's watching your escape window.
你好 小碧 Hi, Bean.
没时间睡觉了 疯子杀人狂 Now's no time for a nap, psycho killer.
你们俩来干什么 What are you two doing here?
我们来帮你的 We came to help you.
在你和守卫对话的时候 我们溜了进来 We walked in while you were talking to the guard.
这就是矮的好处之一 It's one of the benefits of being short.
艾尔弗经常会潜入你的房间 Elfo sneaks in and out of your room all the time.
为了研究 It's for research.
我们都知道老鼠就是传播肮脏疾病的吸引源 We all know rats are magnets for filth-borne disease.
还有什么更好的方法 比用一堆洗干净的老鼠 So, what better way to pull the disease from his body
放在他身上 还能更有效地祛除疾病呢 than by covering him in freshly shampooed rats?
他动了 身体正在恢复 He's moving. The recovery is underway!
行吧 爬进去吧 又没什么坏处 Sure, crawl in. What could it hurt?
天哪 他们在对他做什么 Oh, my God! What are they doing to him?
这些家伙根本不懂可学和医学 These fools don't know anything about stience or medicine.
得赶在他们治死我爸之前把他救出来 I gotta help my dad before they cure him to death.
谋杀罪名一扣 你麻烦真的大了 I think you're in serious trouble with the murder and all.
是企图谋杀 Attempted murder.
而且这根本不算谋杀 我什么也没有 And it wasn't even murder, and I didn't attempt anything.
他们心里也清楚 And they know it.
为什么他们要这么对我 Why are they doing this to me?
月亮便士小姐 女祭司来了吗 Miss Moonpence, is the Archdruidess here?
-是的 部长 -很好 带她进来 - Yes, Minister. - Good. Send her in.
祝福你的帽子 Blessings on your hat
和你帽子下面的头 部长 and the head that fills it, Prime Minister.
你也是 女祭司 And also with you, Archdruidess.
听说国王身体越来越虚弱了 I hear the king grows weaker.
你从哪儿听说的 Where did you hear that?
佐格国王还活着 不过情况很糟糕 King Zog is alive, but in a very bad way.
蒂尔碧妮伤得他很重 Princess Tiabeanie wounded him severely.
神哪 众神哪 我们的王国未来会怎么样 Dear God, or Gods, what is to become of our kingdom?
月亮便士小姐 你可以去公园吃胡萝卜了 Miss Moonpence, you may go to the park to eat your carrot now.
是 部长 Yes, Minister.
所以 So?
-我说了现在就去 月亮便士小姐 -是 部长 - I said now, Miss Moonpence. - Yes, Minister.
梦想之地的法律规定 如果国王不能继续当朝 Dreamland law says that if the king cannot serve,
王位就会流传给他最年长的男性继承者 the crown goes to his oldest male heir.
那就是德里克了 That would be Derek.
但如果孩子还没成年 But if the child is not an adult,
那他的母亲将代为摄政 then his mother shall serve as regent
直到孩子成年 until the boy reaches adulthood.
是的 但如果母亲无法代为摄政呢 Yes, but what if the mother is not available to serve?
那会由离婚判决书所定的 Then, the regent would be the child's caretaker
孩子的监护人代为摄政 as named in the divorce decree.
在你主持的离婚判决中 And whose name was inserted as caretaker
又把谁指认为孩子的监护人呢 into the divorce decree over which you officiated?
佐格国王 奥娜王后
奥德瓦 孩子的监护人
卧槽 是你 Son of a bitch, it's you!
这说明 如果德里克成为了国王 That means, if Derek becomes king,
你就能摄政了 you become regent,
年轻的国王会成为你的木偶 and the young king becomes your puppet!
是我们的木偶 Our puppet.
-有人提到木偶了吗 -出去 德里克 - Did someone mention puppets? - Get out of here, Derek!
蒂尔碧妮公主或许会成为阻碍 Princess Tiabeanie may be an obstacle.
她挺受人欢迎的 She's quite popular.
很有雄心 从十三世纪的角度看 她很现代化 And willful. A very modern woman, positively 13th-century.
但我们可以改变大众的观点 But we can change popular opinion.
在苦难的日子里 In times of trouble,
我们或许会把一切都归咎于一个人身上 we may be tempted to assign blame to just one person.
那就这么办吧 好吗 So, let's do that, shall we?
我当然说的是蒂尔碧妮公主 I am talking, of course, about Princess Tiabeanie.
出去放话 Now, get out there and spread the word.
快去吧 赶紧出去 Go on, get the hell out of here.
找人背锅 这宗教终于有点名堂了 Scapegoating. Finally, this religion is going somewhere.
我的孩子在城堡工作 My boy works in the castle,
他说她用魔杖把他刺伤了 and he says she shot him with a magic wand.
以我鱼贩子的专业经验来看 Well, in my professional opinion as a fishmonger,
公主是个女巫 the princess is a witch.
她经常和那个 And she's always hanging out with
有大鼻子的黑猫混在一起 that black cat with the big nose
还要那个招人厌的精灵帽蛤蟆 and that annoying toad in the elf hat.
为什么她周围的人一直在死 And how come people always seem to die around her?
今天只要砒霜 谢谢 Just the arsenic today, thanks.
我听说 如果你直视她的眼睛 I heard, if you look her in the eyes,
她就会让你爱上她 she makes you fall in love with her,
然后把你变成蛤蟆 then turns you into a toad!
她就是对艾尔弗这么做的 And that's just what she did to Elfo.
所以他一直绿绿的 看起来很奇怪 That's why he's all green and weird-looking.
小声点 不然艾尔弗蛤蟆会听见我们的 Quiet, or Toad Elfo will hear us.
我一直都是绿绿的 长得很奇怪 I've been green and weird-looking all my life.
你们知道的 我得告诉小碧 You know that. I've gotta tell Bean.
小碧 你不会相信的 Bean, you're not gonna believe this.
都听好了 向大家宣布 Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known
德里克王子将会继承王位 that Prince Derek shall be crowned king
蒂尔碧妮公主将以企图谋杀的女巫这一身份 and Princess Tiabeanie shall be tried
受到审判 for attempted murder as a witch!
我信了 I believe it.
国王 但爸爸不是还活着吗 King? But isn't Daddy still alive?
我恐怕他不能再统领王国了 I'm afraid he's in no shape whatsoever to rule.
我们需要一个像你一样拥有领导才能的人 And we need someone of your obvious leadership abilities.
但这些只是玩具兵 But these are just toy soldiers.
如果你把真正的士兵 It's best if you think of
也看得一文不值 那真是再好不过了 the real ones as cheap and expendable, too.
你可以把我和奥德瓦 And you can just think of Odval and me
看成你新的爸爸妈妈 我的宝贝 as your new mommy and daddy, my sweet little...
管他呢 按我们说的办就完事了 Oh, hell, just do what we tell you!
对不起 陛下 Oh! So sorry, sire.
让我从你疲倦的头上摘下王冠吧 Let me remove this from your weary head.
成了 And... doink.
小子 给奥德瓦送去 快点的 Boy, bring this to Odval, immediately.
国王来了 我是国王 我正要走下 Here comes the king. I am the king! I'm walking down this--
我封你为德里克国王一世 I crown thee King Derek the First.
上帝保佑 唯一的国王 And, God willing, the only.
德里克国王万岁 Long live King Derek!
德里克国王万岁 德里克国王万岁 Long live King Derek! Long live King Derek!
德里克国王万岁 Long live King Derek!
让我们进入 Uh... Let a new era of...
伟大的新纪元 Greatness.
伟大的新纪元 还有 ...greatness and, uh...
脱离影响的自由 Freedom from influence.
脱离影响的自由 ...freedom from influence begin!
万岁 Hoorah!
真言轮
公主 你愿意坦白自己是女巫的事实吗 Now, Princess, will you confess to being a witch?
不 No.
那你坚持要让我们进行长期审判吗 So, you insist on putting us through the ordeal of a long trial?
其实 我挺喜欢长期审判的 Actually, I'm partial to long trials.
-回答错误 -转轮子 斯坦 - Wrong answer! - Spin the wheel, Stan.
你想用魔杖杀死你父亲 You tried to kill your father with this magic wand!
我没有 而且这不是魔杖 I did not! And it's not a magic wand.
这是一把枪 你心里清楚 It's a stience gun, and you know it.
真的吗 如果你不是女巫 Oh, really? How can you possibly know
你怎么知道我知道 what I know unless you're a witch?
她是在咯咯笑吗 我肯定听到笑声了 Was that a cackle? I definitely heard a cackle.
那不是笑声 因为我不是 That wasn't a cackle, because I'm not a...
-转轮子 -女巫 - Spin the wheel. -...witch!
公主 你知道审判的结果 Princess, you know the outcome of a trial
是不可能如你所愿的 is unlikely to go your way.
就是这种肮脏的想法才让审判变了味 That is the kind of stinkin' thinkin' that loses trials.
我们会度过难关的 小碧 请原谅 We can win this, Bean. Now, if you'll excuse us,
我们得在我们的客户停止转动之后和她谈谈 we have to consult with our client as soon as she stops spinning.
好吧 法庭见 Very well. See you in court.
你好 小碧 你还好吗 Hi, Bean. Hi. What's up?
还有一圈 One more.
我和路西是你的律师 Hi. Me and Luci are your lawyers.
我完蛋了 I'm doomed.
恐怕他的病情又恶化了 I'm afraid he's getting worse.
保洁小妹 把国王的绷带取下来 Hmm. Mop Girl, remove the king's bandages.
你不觉得我该先洗洗手吗 Uh, don't you think I should wash my hands first?
冒着把这些生命之灰冲走的风险吗 And risk washing away all that life-giving soot?
耐心点 陛下 我已经请了一位触觉艺术专家 Patience, sire. I have summoned an expert
来检查你的身体 in the tactile arts to examine you.
你觉得呢 圣手老人 不是摸我 What do you think, Old Man Touchy? Not me!
是的 情况很糟 生命的精华所剩无几了 Oh, yes, very bad. There is very little life essence left.
但我感觉到了 一些烤牛肉 But I am detecting... some roast beef.
还有肉汁 And mashed potatoes with...
土豆泥 gravy.
当国王的感觉如何 陛下 How does it feel to be king, sire?
很无聊 咱们打个仗吧 I'm bored. Let's have a war!
也许晚点吧 现在 Maybe later. Right now,
我们得考察一下你主持公道的才能 we have to see your aptitude for dispensing justice.
主持审判是国王的职责 It is the king's duty to preside over trials,
明天 我们会有一场很重要的审判 and tomorrow, we'll be having a very important one. Now...
约格说这只猪是他的财产 Yorg here claims this hog as his own property.
塔根坚持这头猪是从他的农场逃跑的 Targon maintains that the hog escaped from his farm
并且完全属于他 and rightfully belongs to him.
我想我有结论了 I believe I have reached a verdict.
很英明的决定 A surprisingly shrewd decision.
我现在可以摸摸小猪吗 Can I pet the piggy now?
我想他准备好了 I think he's ready.
很抱歉 我们没有碗 I'm sorry we don't have bowls, but, you know,
在你意识到之前 这一切就会结束的 this will all be over before you know it.
这种话从刽子手嘴里说出来真让人安心 That's comforting, coming from an executioner.
你会没事的 我对我们的司法系统很有信心 You'll be fine. I have great faith in our judicial system.
在我七岁的时候 我往城堡丢了个雪球 I threw a snowball at the castle when I was seven.
我还在等我的审前听证会 I'm still waiting for my pre-trial hearing.
闭嘴吧 老头 Oh. Shut your gob, you tit.
你老是喜欢拿"审前听证会"说事 You're always going on about this "Pre-trial hearing."
每二十年一次 就跟钟一样 Every 20 years, like clockwork.
赶紧来个人把我刺瞎吧 Somebody stab me in the eyeball.
-小碧 你怎么样 -我好点了 - Hey, Bean. How are you holding up? - I've been better.
你们是我唯一的希望了 你们有把握吗 You guys are my only hope. Are you sure you can handle this?
艾尔弗正想着往你的衣服里看 Well, Elfo's just trying to look down your shirt.
但我是王牌辩护律师 But I am an ace trial attorney.
你 你有上庭经验吗 You? You have actual experience?
没有 但我在08年的时候给撒旦做过暑期书记 No, but I summer clerked for Satan in '08.
我甚至还写过一篇关于残酷和异常处罚的总结 I even wrote a brief about cruel and unusual punishment.
就在那家伙的阴囊上 用打字机写的 Right on a guy's scrotum. With a typewriter.
父亲 你听得见我说话吗 我要和你谈谈 Father? Can you hear me? I need to talk to you.
还记得我以前怎么叫醒你的吗 Remember how I used to wake you up from your naps
然后你会穿过整个城堡追我 and you would chase me through the castle?
起床了 起床了 Wakey wakey!
太阳晒屁股了 爸爸 Rise and shine, Father.
亲爱的爸爸 你要死了吗 Father, dear, are you dying?
-听好 德里克 -什么 - Listen, Derek... - Yeah?
-我得告诉你一些事 -什么 - I need to tell you something. - What?
我不知道自己什么时候会死 I don't know when I'm gonna die.
也许不是今天 也许不是明天 不过 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but...
感觉像周四 Well, it's feeling like Thursday.
很好 还有时间 我还能借用一下你的智慧 Good, so there's time. I could use the benefit of your wisdom.
-什么 -什么叫公正 - What? - What is justice?
谢天谢地 我还以为要谈性话题呢 Oh, thank God. I thought this was gonna be the sex talk.
你是怎么做出绝对公平的裁决的 How do you make a decision that's fair?
办不到 总会有人觉得不公平 You can't. Someone always feels like it's not fair to them.
最公平的裁决 And the fairest decisions,
就是让大家都觉得不公平 those are the ones where everybody feels screwed.
我从故事书里可没读到过这种情节 I've never seen that before in my storybooks.
生活充满了你未曾见过的东西 Life's full of stuff you've never seen before.
就像那道通向我床的光 Like that tunnel of white light opening over my bed.
-你看得见吗 -不 - Can't you see it? - No.
跟着直觉走 孩子 你可以的 Look, you've just got to go with your gut, son. You'll do fine.
现在 你能不能把那条冷毛巾放在我头上 Now, will you put that nice, cool rag on my head?
当然 Sure.
谢谢你 爸爸 Thank you, Father.
梦想之地议事厅
越橘国王纪念法庭
开庭中 直到宣判有罪
全体起立致敬法官和正义的化身 德里克国王 All rise for judge and living embodiment of justice, King Derek!
开始审判 Uh... Begin trial!
德里克 你是法官 Oh, God. Derek, you're the judge?
肃静 姐姐 我现在是你的德里克国王 Silence, sister! It's Big King Derek to you!
看来这过去十四年我该对他好点 Guess I should've been nicer to him these last 14 years.
算了吧 这也值了 Nah, it was worth it.
陛下 今日我会用最严密的逻辑证明 Sire, today, I shall prove, using only the most rigorous logic,
这是个九百岁的女巫 that this is a 900-year-old witch...
用了这根恶魔般的珍珠柄短鼻魔杖 who used this diabolical, pearl-handled, snub-nosed magic wand
对我们敬爱的国王 to cast a spell of manslaughter
施放了杀人咒 愿上帝使他的灵魂安息 on our beloved king. God rest his soul.
他还没死呢 He's not even dead!
法庭之上 保持秩序 坐下 小碧 Order in the court! Sit down, Bean!
我什么也没做啊 Ow! What did I do?
梦想之地议事厅
你是说 小碧之前 So, you're saying Bean behaved
在一个正式的宫廷晚宴上举止不雅 so disgracefully at a formal state dinner
差点引发战争 that she nearly set off a war?
不 查兹说的是 No, what Chazz said
她差点把那啥都那啥了 was she nearly chazzed off the whole chazz-ma-tazz.
-懂我意思吗 -不懂 - You know what I mean? - I do not,
但还是记录下来 but let that be entered into the record.
我叫"查兹" 一共有五个"Z" That's "Chazz" With five "Z's."
写了这么久的法庭记录 I think I've done enough court reporting
我已经知道怎么拼"查兹"了 to know how to spell "Chazz."
是的 我觉得小碧肯定是用美貌迷惑 Yes, I'd say Bean is positively bewitching in her beauty
再用魅力诱惑 and mesmerizing with her charm.
巫术和诱惑 Witchcraft and mesmerism!
这就是这个男人的专业证供 Expert testimony from the man she turned into a pig
她把他变成了猪 只是因为不想嫁给他 just so she didn't have to marry him.
但这不是小碧的错 是我自己过于虚荣 But it wasn't Bean's fault. It was my own vanity.
以至于认为自己还是人的时候 To think I was more handsome as a man
要比一头无毛卷尾粉猪要帅 than a glorious, squealing, curly-tailed, pink and hairless--
闭嘴 你知道什么呀 你只是头猪 Oh, quiet. What do you know? You're just a pig.
告诉我 巫师 Tell me, Mr. Sorcerio,
你不仅目击了蒂尔碧妮公主 you not only witnessed Tiabeanie
用魔杖袭击佐格国王 attack King Zog with this wand,
但你之前也和她有过奇怪的相遇 but you've had previous odd encounters with her.
很多次了 之前她被恶灵附身的时候 So many. She was once brought to me
就来我这了 when she was possessed by a demon.
我太忙了 没空亲自治疗她 I was too busy to cure her myself,
于是把她转给了我的一位同事 so she was referred to a colleague,
受人尊敬的驱魔师 大乔 the esteemed exorcist, Big Jo.
大乔已经证实过驱魔完成了吗 And did Big Jo verify that, in fact, he had exorcised the demon?
我没能赶上和他交流 Hmm. I didn't get a chance to speak with him,
因为公主把他推进了火山 as the princess had pushed him into a volcano.
现在 我想传唤小碧最亲近的朋友 And now, I'd like to call Bean's closest friend,
和她形影不离的精灵伙伴 艾尔弗 her inseparable elf companion, Elfo.
我已经来了 I'm already here.
告诉我 弗先生 Now, tell me, Mr. Fo,
你第一眼见到小碧是什么感觉 what did you think when you first saw Bean?
她是我见过的最漂亮 That she was the most beautiful,
最纯洁 最美好的姑娘 pure and good woman I'd ever seen.
反对 她是他唯一见过的女人 Objection! She was the only woman he'd ever seen.
反对有效 Sustained.
我不想再听到 I don't want to hear any
关于我姐姐的肉麻话了 romantic or sexy talk about my own sister.
恶心死了 Bleh!
不好意思 我换个说法 Sorry. Let me rephrase that.
你见过小碧表现出自己纯洁内心的行为吗 Have you seen Bean act in ways that show her pureness of heart?
天哪 一直都是这样 小碧最好了 Oh, my gosh, like, all the time. Bean is the best.
我们一起经历了那么多 I mean, we've been through so much together.
我记得 有一次我死了之后 I remember, um, there was one time after I died,
这故事还挺扯的 and, well, it's kind of a crazy story,
我和小碧最终在地狱见面了 but Bean and I ended up together in Hell.
小碧去过地狱 Bean was in Hell?
反对 法官 证人是个白痴 Uh, objection, Your Honor. This witness is an idiot.
-拜托 -驳回 - Hey! - Overruled.
-请求即刻询问 -准许 - Permission to cross-examine immediately. - Granted.
你想告诉我们 你在地狱见到了蒂尔碧妮 Now, you mean to tell us you specifically saw Tiabeanie in Hell?
没错 我们当时都在 Oh, yeah. We all were there
永恒的地狱之火中 我 小碧和路西 in the flames of eternal damnation. Me, Bean and Luci.
艾尔弗 不 他们不会明白的 Elfo, no! They won't understand.
请求接近证人 然后给他脸上来一拳 Permission to approach the witness and punch him in the face?
反对 继续吧 奥德瓦先生 Denied. Go on, Mr. Odval.
那请告诉我们你去地狱干什么 And what, pray tell, were you doing in Hell?
我从天堂被赶出去 Well, after I got kicked out of Heaven
一路下坠 来到地狱 和小碧见面 and plunged all the way down to Hell to meet up with Bean,
我们被绑在椅子上 we were strapped to these big chairs
爆米花放在我们拿不到的地方 and the popcorn was out of reach,
我们得骗过魔鬼 然后逃离 so we needed to trick the devils and escape.
所以 你甚至想变得 So, you wanted to be even more underhanded
比那些魔鬼还卑鄙 than the devils themselves?
是啊 我想你可以这么说 Yeah, I guess you could put it that way.
陛下 这就是我们需要的所有证据了 Sire, this is all the proof we need.
如果你不介意 我就要做结案陈词了 If you don't mind, I'll go right into my closing remarks.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
之前从来没有过这么显而易见的巫术案件 never before has there been such a clear-cut case of witchcraft.
蒂尔碧妮 Here we have Tiabeanie,
达格玛的女儿 the daughter of Dagmar,
一个臭名昭著的黑女巫和杀人犯 a known dark sorceress and murderess.
蒂尔碧妮 意图用巫术 Tiabeanie, who attempted to murder
谋杀自己的父亲 her own father with witchcraft.
蒂尔碧妮 和这两位同伴前往地狱 Tiabeanie, who visited Hell with these two accomplices,
我认为此时此刻就应该 whom I dare say ought to be tried and found guilty
判决有罪 right here and now!
等等 什么 Wait, what?
如果你们还需要别的证据 And, as if you need any more evidence,
他的同伙之一 one of these accomplices
就是她的使唤随从 会说话的猫 is her witch's familiar, a talking cat!
我的陈词结束 由我的同事 I rest my case and turn the floor over
这只会说话的猫 继续陈述 to my colleague, the talking cat.
女士们先生们 虽然我只是一只野猫 Ladies and gentlemen, I may just be a simple country cat,
但我只看到了一个女孩 but all I see here is a girl.
敢于变得与众不同的女儿 A girl who dared to be different.
想脱颖而出 为自己说话 To stick out and speak up.
如果这也算有罪 And if that's being guilty,
那就继续判她有罪吧 then go ahead and consider her guilty.
-没问题 -但如果你们这么做 - Can do. - But if you do,
你们只是一群愚蠢的 you're all a bunch of stupid, small-minded,
迷信的 只会用嘴呼吸的小心眼 mouth-breathing, superstitious ding-dongs,
完全是一群妄想狂 who are completely delusional
只会投票反对自己的利益 and vote against your own self-interest.
给你们传下去 So, pass around a tub of
一桶融化的冰激凌吃 melted ice cream for y'all to guzzle down
希望你们变得更胖更蠢 我的陈词结束 and get fatter and stupider. I rest my case.
谢谢 我还需要仔细烤虑一下 Uh, thank you. I just need to debilitate on this for a bit.
考虑 Deliberate.
在我做出决定之前 Yeah. Until I render my decision...
我说对了 很好 I got that right. Yes!
把被告人和她的同伴关进地牢 The accused and her accomplices are to be kept in the dungeon.
德瑞克 你这个狡猾的家伙 Derek! You little weasel!
审理结束 Court jaborned!
他们要把我们烧死在火刑柱子上 They're gonna burn us at the stake.
天哪 我闻上去肯定会像烧焦的爆米花 Oh, God, I'm gonna smell like burnt candy corn.
从我出生以来 就认识小碧了 I've known Bean all my life,
虽然她做了一些邪恶的事 and while she's done some wicked things,
比如上次她把猴子塞进我的泰迪熊 like the time she stuffed that monkey inside my teddy bear
然后它就跑去悬崖 跳到海里了 and it ran off a cliff and into the ocean...
但她的确让我免受大平底锅敲打 But she did rescue me from that big skillet.
我想女巫应该不会这么做 I don't think a witch would do that.
大多数目击者比我还笨 And most of those witnesses were more pea-brained than I am.
爸爸说我应该跟着直觉走 Father said I should go with my gut,
我想我知道该怎么做了 and I think I know which way.
我们的生命危在旦夕 Our lives hang by a thread.
不敢相信艾尔弗这种时候都能睡着 I can't believe Elfo can sleep at a time like this.
我没在睡觉 I'm not sleeping.
每次我一想这个 就会晕过去 I keep passing out every time I think about it.
天哪 我们都要死了 Oh, God, we're all gonna die!
在公众面前被处刑 Mmm, death by public execution.
还跟精灵一起 真够丢人的 With an elf. Ugh, this is so humiliating.
我还以为你是永生不死的 I thought you were immortal.
当然了 我是恶魔 该死的 Of course I'm immortal. I'm a demon, damn it!
你们知道我的 在你们被烧的 You know me. As you burn up,
我说不定还会说几句嘲讽你们的话 I'll probably be making flippant comments.
天哪 我现在连说谎都说不溜了 Oh, God, I've even lost the power to lie convincingly.
这都不算力量 更像是一种精神缺陷 And that's not even a power, more of a mental defect.
保佑你的帽子 Blessings on your hat
还有你帽子下面的头 你也是 and the head that fills it. And also with you.
我们有麻烦了 We have a problem.
看来国王德瑞克有把犯人无罪释放的意愿 It appears King Derek may be leaning toward acquittal.
他觉得自己是在遵从父亲的建议 He thinks he is following his father's advice.
也许达到社团目标的唯一办法 Then perhaps the only way to achieve the goals of the society
就是除掉佐格了 would be to remove Zog from the equation.
说到除掉 Ahem. Speaking of removing things...
怎么回事 Hey, what the hell?
我还以为他们会把我们绑在火刑柱上烧死 I thought they were gonna burn us at the stake.
这我可帮不了你们 Not if I can help it.
你是来救我们的 You're rescuing us?
除了我自己善良的一面 Other than me good self,
邦蒂在这个世界上最爱的就是你们了 there's no one in the world Bunty loves more than you.
我相信她 退后点 And I believe her. So, stand back!
地下墓穴 我不知道这原来在地牢底下 The catacombs! I didn't know they were under the dungeon.
哪儿的下面都有 墓穴也在某些东西上面 They're under everything. Over some things, too.
设计的不太好 They were poorly planned.
往东走 最后会到码头 Just head east and you'll end up by the docks.
再见了 我的朋友们 别被老鼠绊着 Godspeed, my friends. Don't slip on the rats.
城堡 码头
小碧 拜托 他说了向东 Bean, come on. He said east.
我不能走 暂时还不行 I can't leave. Not yet.
爸 爸 Dad. Dad.
-小碧 -爸 听我说 - Beanie. - Dad, listen.
你在这不安全了 别相信任何人 好吗 It's not safe for you here anymore. Don't trust anyone, okay?
现在 我还要解决一些事 Now, I need to take care of something.
我得把子弹取出来 否则你会死于感染的 I need to take out that bullet or you could die of infection.
-"感染" -现代医学 - "Infection"? - Modern medicine.
"现代医学" "Modern"? "Medicine"?
我从蒸汽之地来的男人那学来的 I learned it from that Steamland guy.
会很疼的 先喝点这个 Now, it's gonna hurt bad, so have some of this.
就像以前一样 Just like old times.
再给我来点现代医学 Hey, give me some more of that modern medicine.
我会尽快的 I'll try to be as quick as possible.
按住他 给他点东西咬着 Hold him still and give him something to bite down on.
我感觉到了子弹 不是很深 I feel it. The bullet, it's not deep.
太恶心了 That's disgusting.
但我不觉得她会想杀了他 But I just don't think she'd ever try to kill him--
有罪 Guilty!
今天为女巫行火刑 这会解决我们所有的麻烦
火刑之前还有遗言吗 Any final words before the burning?
你们有没有做过那些自己快要死掉的梦 Did you ever have one of those dreams where you're about to die
然后在最后一刻 and at the last second,
你们突然醒了过来 一切正常 you suddenly wake up and everything's okay?
这可不是梦 该死的 Well, this isn't one of those. God damn it.
这是现实 我们真的在刑场 We're really here. It's really now.
在我长大的时候 我彻底茫然了 While I was growing up, I was completely lost,
在遇到你们之后 我还是很茫然 and then after I met you guys I was still lost,
但至少我们可以一起茫然 but at least we got lost together.
看来我们不能完成我们的旅途了 It looks like we're not gonna finish our journey.
但我还是很开心 因为在我内心深处 我是 But I'm happy to know deep down in my heart that I'm a--
女巫 Witch!
够了 小碧 That's enough now, Bean.
请和我一起祈祷 这三个邪恶的灵魂 Please join me in prayer for these three damned souls,
愿他们在无尽的来生中 that they may find endless agony and torment
面临永恒的痛苦和折磨 in an afterlife of eternal suffering.
祈祷不该是这样的 That's not what prayers are for.
-闭嘴 -抱歉 - Shut up. - Sorry.
点火 Light the fire.
不 我做不到 No, I can't do it.
-烧死他们 -女巫 - Burn them all! - Witches!
在那么一瞬间 我忘记了自己可悲的生活 I've forgotten my sad life for a moment!
有火啊 真不错 Oh. A fire. That's nice.
不知怎么的 我们一起来到了这个愚蠢的世界 Somehow, we ended up in this stupid world together...
那就让我们也一起离开这个世界 So, let's leave it together.
等等 你是不会死的 除非 你的意思是 Wait. You're not gonna die, ever. Unless... You mean...
我有话要坦白 Well, I have a confession to make.
当我离开地狱之后 永生的权利被剥夺了 When I got out of Hell, I was stripped of my immortality.
我为了你们这帮衰人放弃了一切 I gave it all up for you losers.
我现在告诉你 是希望让你在悔恨中死去 I'm telling you now because I'd like you to die feeling bad.
天哪 Oh, man.
这可能有点晚了 但还是谢谢你 This may seem like too little, too late, but thank you.
我也会想你的 好兄弟 I'm gonna miss you too, buddy.
地狱见了 男孩们 See you in Hell, boys.
欢迎 朋友们 Welcome, friends.
他们还在这 Ah, they're still here.
怎么 不抱一下吗 What, no hug?