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出格
译制
小屁孩别在我店门口搞事情! Hey, you kids! Don't be bad outside my store!
滚远点啊! I keep a nice store!
去你个老不死的! Give it up, old man!
我们不过是一群坏孩子干年轻人该干的事!切! We're just cool bad kids doing young stuff! Chh!
你们想再来几个滑板招式吗? You guys wanna do more skateboard moves?
哪一招? Which ones?
最炫技的那招! The rad ones, that's which!
几位小朋友你们好呀 How are you kids?
你们的外公在努力吸引你们的注意力哟 Did you know your grandpa's tryin' to get your attention?
滚一边去 真奇葩 Yeah, yeah, screw off, weirdo.
外孙?着什么意思啊? Grandson, w-w-what's that mean?
一群邪教徒而已 He's one of those cult people.
邪教头子是个叫罗伊的神经病 They worship some psycho named roy
罗伊还说自己是所有人的外公 That says he's everybody's grandpa.
你今天想干点什么呢?一起吃零食? So what do you want to do today, e-eat some snacks?
能让我亲你一下不? And maybe let me kiss you finally?
用嘴亲的那种 Y'know, with my mouth and stuff?
这个集会就是现在诶 This is going on right now.
咱们一块去看看吧 L-let's go check it out.
我的天 Aw, geez.
来嘛 说不定很好玩呢 C-come on, just for fun, you know?
不是这样的 我才不是- No, that's not what I'm...
你们怎么老把我当宗教领袖啊 You guys keep thinking I'm a religious leader.
和宗教无关 我说的是真相 This isn't a religion. This is actual truth.
我在现实生活中是个科学家 I'm a scientist in real life,
但咱们是在游戏里 没在现实生活里 But this isn't real life, this is a video game.
这你们听得懂吧? Y-y-you at least understand that much, right?
咱们现在在游戏里面 This is a video game?
但是你说我是你外孙? But you said I'm your grandson?
我是说大家都是我外孙 I'm saying everyone is.
这个世界里除了我以外 人人都是我外孙 Everyone here, everyone in this world but me.
你们都是我外孙 名叫莫蒂 You're all my grandson, your name is morty,
你们被困在了游戏里 我是来救你们出去的 You're stuck in a video game, and I'm here to get you out.
那我呢?我是你外孙吗? What about me? Am I your grandson?
我不是说了吗?人人都是我外孙! I just said everyone is!
-哇哦! -妙不可言! - Wow! - Incredible!
行了行了 别这反应啊 Okay, okay, but don't react like that.
咱们不是在信教 It's not a religion.
你们听我说 This is what is happening.
你、我、你姐姐三个人现在在游戏厅里 You and me and your sister are at an arcade
游戏厅名字叫Blips and Chitz Called blips and chitz.
游戏厅被恐怖分子占领之后 It's been taken over by terrorists.
停电了 导致游戏重启 The power went out, the game restarted,
你的身份分裂成了所有的非玩家角色(NPC) And your identity has been splintered into all the non-player characters.
所以我就以玩家角色罗伊的身份加入 So I jacked in as roy, that's the player character,
是想把你 也就是我外孙莫蒂救出来 To get you, my grandson, morty, out of the game
不然游戏结束你就死翘翘了 before it's over and you die.
你有什么问题要问的? Okay, question over here.
我也是你外孙吗? Am I your grandson?
我去!是的! Jesus! Yes!
你们每个人都是五十亿分之一莫蒂 Every single one of you is one five-billionth of morty.
合在一起就是莫蒂本人 All of you, collectively, are morty.
我没有不耐烦哈 Look, I-I don't wanna seem impatient
但是我们有好多任务要完成 But there's actually a lot more that we have to get done
要是这一步都这么难 So if this is how hard it's gonna be,
那咱们就完蛋- We are in a lot of trou...
夏茉你干什么啊?! Summer, what?!
别烦我了 我忙着呢! I can't do this if you keep bugging me!
时间膨胀理论你懂不懂啊? Do you understand time dilation?
这当口游戏里已经过了一个月零一秒 I'm losing a month a second out here.
外星人军团在杀人啊 There's an alien army shooting people.
我该怎么办啊?! What am I doing?!
一小群外星恐怖分子而已 It's a small group of alien terrorists.
找着《虎胆龙威》行动就好了 Just do a "die hard."
听不懂! what does that mean?
四处潜伏 利用通风管道 Sneak around, use air vents.
你连《虎胆龙威》都没看过吗? You've never seen "die hard"?
我他妈才17岁好吧 怎么可能看过《虎胆龙威》! I'm 17. No, I've never seen fucking "die hard"!
巧了 里面的主角也没看过 Well, neither did the guy in "die hard,"
看来你胜券在握! So you're nailing it!
祝好! Good luck!
瑞克与莫蒂
翻译：出格
拉瑞… Larry...
我已经拿这孩子没办法了 No, I'm at the end of my rope with this kid,
天杀的… I swear to god...
你搞什么鬼啊? Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
你的一头秀发! Your beautiful hair!
我女儿不准留这种发型! This is not a daughter's haircut!
我才不是女儿 我是个外孙 I'm not a daughter, I'm a grandson.
你跟着爸妈信教不好吗?! Your family had a perfectly fine religion!
我们一家都信犹太教! You were raised jewish!
爸 那你知道犹太教有什么传统吗? Dad, tell me anything specific about being jewish.
多了去了! There's a million things!
大家一起去寺庙…还要戴…小帽子 You go to the temple with the... The... the special hat,
小帽子叫法拉伐弗鲁滕… T-the falafafluten...
法拉伐弗鲁滕? Oh, the falafafluten?
我们的犹太教词汇狗屁不通 Our jewish words are gibberish
因为你我都是一名14岁的男孩 Because we're a 14-year-old boy
家里人都是非宗派基督徒 Who was raised nondenominational christian
我们现在在电子游戏里! And we're in a video game!
别跟你爹我施莫伊滕海文! I don't need to hear this schmoitenheiven!
既然你说自己是外孙 是游戏角色 那我问你 Let me ask you this, little miss grandson, little miss video game character
如果你不是我女儿 那为什么要在我家 If you're not my daughter, why stand in my house
跟我查奇科普夫卡? Spouting this chatschkopfka?
还住在这干什么? Why even live here?
问得好 Good question.
女儿 你走了就别回来了! There she goes! My daughter!
以为自己是被困在游戏里的五十亿分之一 One five-billionth of a kid trapped in a video game!
你就继续这么想 我保你没钱付房租 Yeah, that and a college degree'll pay the rent!
你们到底想要什么啊? What do you people want?
我们想要的很多 We have many interests,
但此刻我只想知道 But right now my primary one is the location.
你保险箱放哪了 Of. Your. Safe.
我们把游戏币都换成了电子货币 We exchange tokens for digital currency.
我才没什么保险箱 We don't have a safe.
纠正你一下 你是没脑袋 Correction, what you don't have is a head.
你给我的是枪械还是医疗器械? Is this a weapon or a medical tool?
怎么这把枪的激光这么细? Why would you give me a gun with a laser that thin?
你没听到我说他没脑袋了吗? Did you hear me tell him he wouldn't have a head?
他这不是死了吗? He's dead, isn't he?
死在手术台上一样是死 People die in surgery.
嘿!谁敢摸我?! Hey! Who don't touched me?!
我最讨厌被摸了! I don't like being touched!
去巡查下人质 Check the hostages.
可别让他们照着《龙胆虎威》行动 Make sure nobody else here is doing a "die hard."
你好 你好 你好 Hello Hello Hello
我叫做莫蒂 My name is morty,
14岁男孩活在游戏里 I'm a 14yo boy in a video game
-太好了 耶 -我去! - Alright! Yeah! - Aw, geez!
我感觉每次我努力解释 Yeah. Look. I feel like every time I explain this,
就会少几个信徒 但咱们这不是宗教 I lose followers, but this isn't a religion.
我是从另外一个世界带来了消息 And while I do have a message from a world beyond this one,
也的确想让全世界的人都认真听我的消息 And I do need the entire world to hear my message,
但是请不要把我的话写成歌好吗? What I do not need is any more songs about it.
尤其是这种流派的歌 Not in this genre.
我是老派嘻哈人 I'm an old-school hip-hop man,
我说这话也不是让你们唱嘻哈 And no, that's not an invitation for you to try it
因为我觉得 Because I'm just gonna say it,
你们太白了唱不了嘻哈 We're missing the mark on diversity.
给我趴下!你们因为搞邪教被捕了! Get down! You're all under arrest for being religious the wrong way!
我们这不是宗教!算了 朝我开枪吧 It's not a religion! You know what, just shoot me.
你以为你的神能给你挡子弹? You think your god makes you bulletproof?
现实世界里都没有神 There isn't even a god in the real world,
一群分裂大傻逼 You fragmented putz.
在这个世界里更没有神了 There's extra no god in here.
嬉皮士你听好了 You know what, hippie?
再这么说话我就开枪了! Talking like that is why you're getting shot!
你要是杀了他 游戏结束我们就全死了 If you kill him, the game ends and we all die.
这位女士跪下! Get down, lady!
我才不是女士 I'm not a lady.
你也不是士兵 And you're not a soldier.
我们是分裂成碎片的同一个人 We're one person, split into a lot of little pieces.
你明白吗 老哥? Y-you feel me? Dawg?
你不会伤害我的 因为你就是我 Y-y-you're not gonna hurt me. You're me.
我叫凯文 海军陆战队成员 今年30岁 My name is kevin! I'm a marine! I'm 30!
我有点种族歧视 I'm a little racist
但是我最好的朋友是在国外战场上给我做过翻译的移民 but my best friend Is an immigrant that translated for me In a generic overseas war!
全是假的 That's not true.
我们今年14岁 喜欢吃披萨打飞机 We're 14, we like pizza and masturbation,
我们穿黄色短袖 We wear a yellow shirt,
头顶棕色锅盖头 And we have hair that looks like a brown helmet.
我们好想念家人 A-and we miss our family.
却什么也做不了 And we're in way over our heads again.
为什么老是这样啊? Why's this always happen, man?
对吧 I know, right?
我的天 Aw, geez.
我的天 快过来 Aw, geez. Come here.
我的天 Aw, geez.
这谁啊? Who is that?
她在这个游戏里叫玛塔 Her video game name is marta.
这才是我需要的人 Okay. See, this I can work with.
四处潜伏 爬到通风管道里去 "sneak around. Crawl in some vents.
按《龙胆虎威》行动 Do a 'die hard.'"
天了噜 好恶心啊! Oh, my god, it's disgusting!
不过味道还不错 Actually, it tastes really good.
天了噜 太恶心了竟然味道不错 Oh, my god, it's disgusting that it tastes good!
弗兰克 找到他了吗 请回话 Frank, have you found him? Report.
对讲机诶 《虎胆龙威》里有 Oh. Oh. Walkie talkie. That's "die hard."
没看过电影都知道 Don't have to see it to know that.
我是乔恩思 我再说一遍 找到他了吗? This is Jons. I repeat, have you found him?
喂喂喂 Breaker, breaker. Walkie talkie.
我捡到你的对讲机了 傻屌 I got your walkie talkie. Bitch.
你不会在照着《虎胆龙威》行动吧? Are you doing a "die hard"?
说不定 Maybe.
你也一样吗? Are... You? Also?
多少有点 More or less.
我的助手弗兰克呢? And my associate, frank?
他现在可没有照着《龙胆虎威》行动哟 Uh, your associate frank is definitely not doing a "die hard."
他现在可以说一点也不生龙活虎呢 You might even say he's doing a die easy.
因为他已经被我降龙伏虎死翘翘了 Because I killed him and it wasn't difficult.
温斯洛你冷静点 Calm yourself, winslow.
温斯洛! Winslow!
两个《虎胆龙威》粉丝竟然就这么相遇了 It's not every day one meets a fellow "die hard" enthusiast
怎么称呼? ms...
就叫我虎胆龙威吧 Call me "die hard."
那行吧 虎胆龙威 Okay, die hard.
你对《虎胆龙威》有多了解呢? Tell me. What do you know about "die hard"?
关你屁事 你是在写《虎胆龙威》的书吗? What do you care? You writing a book about "die hard"?
其实我已经写了好几本了 As a matter of fact, I've written several.
各大星系所有文明都发展出同一个神话 Every sentient civilization across the galaxy eventually develops the same myth.
半人马文明里叫《塔人》 In centauri, it's known as "tower man."
猎户文明里叫《桑伯格循环》 The orionese have their "thornberg cycle."
仙女座文明里叫 And in andromeda it's called
《蠢到以为自己能杀人》 "foolish to have imagined you'd be able to kill."
这些神话就是你们文明里的《龙胆虎威》 All of them what you'd call "die hard."
不同之处在于我们的文化里《龙胆虎威》神话极其重要 The difference being that cultures like mine are aware of its importance
而我发觉你好像一句台词都不会 whereas I'm starting to doubt You could even recall a single line.
对讲机《龙胆虎威》 你个傻逼 Walkie talkie "die hard," motherfucker
不久之前 外孙教大家被认为是末日邪教 Not so long ago, grandsonism was being dismissed As a doomsday cult.
但如今绝大多数人达成共识 But since a majority of the world decided, hey you know what
好像趁着姐姐在外打击恐怖分子 we like jerking off and playing video games
我们每天打打飞机 玩玩游戏也不错 and our sister is out there Fighting terrorists,
我们的文明取得了重大进步 major strides have been made.
世界终于万众一心 The world is united
因为我们都是一个叫莫蒂的14岁男孩 because the world Is one 14-year-old boy, morty.
但这一切源头在哪呢? But where's it all coming from?
有人说外孙教领袖罗伊 Some say grandsonism's leader, roy,
在这边的山脉里有个秘密基地 Has a secret base somewhere in these mountains.
我也不知道基地在哪 I-I-I couldn't find it
所以我现在拿着麦克风在大概区域播报 so I'm standing in... In the general area with a microphone.
我是差不多新闻的记者托尼 For good enough news, I'm tony!
我的得力助手莫蒂来了 There she is, my right-hand morty!
飞船数量够吗? Got enough spaceships?
暂时不够 我需要在游戏里多呆五年 Not yet. I figure five more years of game time
才能带着全部的虚拟人口飞向虚拟外太空 Before I can take the whole fake population Into fake outer space
我们去外太空做什么呢? What do we do in outer space?
什么都不做 因为是虚拟的 Nothing. It's fake.
我们继续进发 W-we keep going.
这个游戏的地图是有尽头的 The game's map has edges,
但是游戏的引擎允许玩家穿越地图尽头 But the game's engine will let us go past them.
这样会导致游戏重启 That will force the game to reset,
重启前会把我们踢出去 But first it will kick us out
莫蒂应该能活下来 which morty should survive.
我指的是愿意和我们上飞船的莫蒂们 I mean, whatever amount of morty we have on board.
你要么把五十亿莫蒂全毒死 So if you don't have five billion handkerchiefs Soaked in chloroform
要么劝服这些傻子加入我们 I hope you can keep flipping idiots to our cause.
外公 他们不是傻子啊 They're not idiots, grandpa.
他们是我 They're me.
哈哈 等我们回去了你就知道这话多可笑了 Ha. You'll know how funny that is when we get back.
对了 我把你爸给接过来了 By the way, I had your genius of a father picked up.
在那边呢 He's over there.
什么?为什么啊? What? Why?
你不应该感激我吗? I thought you'd be grateful
我怕他死了你会分心 and less distracted than if I let him die.
他老婆死了之后他就一直一蹶不振 He's been in real bad shape since he lost his wife...
我妈? My mom?
不是你真正的妈 是游戏里的妈 Your not-at-all-real mom, a mom in a video game.
也是一小部分你 Occupied by a tiny fraction of yourself.
而这一小部分你已经死了 A fraction of yourself which is now dead forever,
因为积少成多 我才把你爸接过来 And fractions add up, so I had your dad brought here.
不用谢 你个白眼狼 You're welcome, you heartless monster.
玛塔 我的好女儿 Marta. It's me, dad.
我为了你皈依了外孙教 I converted for you.
我叫莫蒂 你也叫莫蒂 My name is morty. So is yours.
并且哪来的什么皈依啊 And there's no conversion.
我们都是莫蒂 千真万确 We're both morty. It's a fact.
宝贝女儿 你说什么就是什么 Sure, honey, anything you say.
我不想和你斗嘴 老爸为你感到自豪 I don't want to fight. I'm proud of you.
你在生我气吗? Are you mad at me
你现在是世界上最有权势的女人 because before you became the world's most powerful woman,
我之前竟然羞辱你的发型 I shamed you for your haircut
还说你是个没工作没住处的骚货 and called you a slutty jobless hobo?
换我的话肯定会有点生气的 If I were you, I'd be a little mad about that.
你就是我 我为什么要生自己气呢? You are me. A-and why would I be mad at myself?
好有道理! Good point!
这里有吃的吗? Is there anything to... to eat around here?
休息室里有个小厨房 There's a kitchenette in the break room.
小厨房? Oh, a kitchenette you say.
你现在真是财大气粗呢 Such red carpet treatment.
你再说一遍? Excuse me?
听我说谢谢你 太好了 I said thank you, I love it,
我们…我们…都是莫蒂的一部分! We... we... We're all part of morty!
只是有些部分高其他部分一等罢了 Some of us more important parts than others...
我爸身上这部分我还真是讨人嫌 Man, the part of me that's my father is a twat
等我回去了你就知道你这话多可笑了 That's also gonna be funny when we get back.
你下次按《龙胆虎威》行动的时候 Next time you try to do a "die hard,"
可别像电影里一样躲桌子底下 Don't hide under a long table like the guy from "die hard."
建议已采纳 Okay, I won't.
你不是说她不知道怎么按《龙胆虎威》行动吗? I thought you said she doesn't know how to do a "die hard"!
她是不知道 She doesn't.
她要把我们斩草除根了 She's killing us off one by one!
那你是指望她给我们买冰淇淋 斩冰除雪? What do you expect her to do, buy us each an ice cream? Two by two?
她在即兴发挥 She's improvising.
我们只需要等她中计就好了 Which is how she's going to fall right into our trap.
我准备不带武器在游戏厅里逛逛 I'm going to wander the arcade unarmed,
遇见她的时候我就装成人质 And when she comes across me, I'll pretend to be a hostage.
她没看过《龙胆虎威》 And because she hasn't seen "die hard,"
所以不会递给我一把空枪 Instead of handing me an unloaded gun,
反而会递给我一把- She'll hand me a...
啊! ugh!
《龙胆虎威》!死翘翘! "die hard"!
什么鬼啊?! What the hell was that?!
《龙胆虎威》!死翘翘! "die hard"!
别冲着对讲机喊《龙胆虎威》了! You can't just keep yelling "die hard" into a walkie talkie and...
她把对讲机给扔了! She threw her walkie talkie away!
她一点也不喜欢《龙胆虎威》! She hates "die hard"!
这样她反倒更像战无不胜的主角麦克莱恩 Which makes her the ultimate mcclane.
别管什么《龙胆虎威》了 Forget everything you know about "die hard"
扫射这个臭婆娘! And just go shoot that bitch!
罗伊先生 很荣幸和您会面 Thank you for meeting with me, mr. Roy.
半个国家的人都对您言听计从呢 Half the country hangs on your every word.
全球大多数人都臣服与您 Heck, most of the world.
您就像是教皇 You're, like, uh, kind of a pope, I reckon.
我不是教皇 因为咱这不是宗教 L... I'm not a pope because it's not a religion.
我们是真的在游戏里 We're literally in a video game.
罗伊 这话我听过很多遍了 I've heard the message, roy.
但是这里不归你做主 You're not on the clock here.
你想让所有人都登上飞船 So you want every single person on a spaceship.
但有些人不愿意是吧? But you got a bunch of holdouts.
可能大家更信任民选领袖 Maybe people that prefer their leaders a little more elected.
是的 比如你的选民 Right. Your voters.
他们喜欢听人指挥又不愿意承认 People that like being told what to do but don't like admitting it.
这话说着可不好听 Yeah, not sure I'd put it that way.
总比你的蠢话好听 I'm sure you'd put it a stupid way.
我就说咱们是在浪费时间吧 I told you this was a waste of time.
92%的莫蒂已经准备起飞了 I've got 92% of you ready to vamoose.
在这儿和血吸虫讨价还价也不会劝服那8%的 We're not gonna get to the rest by making deals with parasites.
总统先生 罗伊是瑞克 Mr. President, roy is rick.
他不是我们 而你和我是莫蒂 He's not us. You and I, w-we're morty.
很难相信吗? Is that really so hard to believe?
小屁孩 我其实早就知道了 Kid, I've known it and I've believed it longer than you have.
我们同时变成游戏角色 We both became video game characters at the same moment,
但是我知道真相的时候你才开始带着滑板去集会 But I knew the truth before you dropped your skateboard And went to your first cult meeting.
不然你以为我在游戏里怎么坐到总统的位置呢 亲爱的 How do you think a guy becomes a president in this game, honey?
我早就洞悉一切了 By not paying attention?
抱歉刚把你称呼为“亲爱的” Sorry to call you honey,
虽然你我都是14岁男孩的一部分 I know we're both parts of a 14-year-old boy,
但是我这部分更老派 还带点美国南方味儿 But my part's old-fashioned and vaguely southern.
我现在一头雾水 I'm confused.
如果你知道瑞克是真的 那为什么… If... if you know rick is real, why...
为什么不愿走? Why hold out?
因为他是个出言不逊 颐指气使的老逼 Because he's a rude, entitled cunt
他是来救我们的啊 He's here to save us.
他…明明可以选择离开游戏让我们等死 He... he could've left the game and let us die.
他花了50年- He's spent 50 years...
50年不过是他生命里几个小时而已 50 years, it's what, a couple hours to him?
没有外孙他不愿意走 He refuses to leave without his grandson,
但他又把这个外孙当什么呢? But what's grandson mean to him?
外孙不过是他的仆人罢了 Sounds like it means butler.
来助力夏茉《龙胆虎威》行动的人 Someone to "help summer with her 'die hard, '"
我也不明白我在说什么 Whatever that means.
但是我知道他就是不愿意 I'll tell you what it doesn't mean.
带外孙去钓鱼 不愿意拥抱他 Fly fishing. A hug.
不愿意感激莫蒂这个好孩子 A little appreciation for what is clearly a pretty decent kid.
至少8%的莫蒂 也就咱们这个全球最伟大国家的一半国民 at least the 8% of him that makes up the decent half of the greatest
对他来说就是个屁 god damn nation on the planet.
我们在他眼里还不是完整的人 We're not a person to him yet.
我们还没变成莫蒂 We're not morty yet.
我们还分裂着呢 We-we're divided.
我们分裂是因为一部分莫蒂不信任他 We're divided because some of us don't trust the guy.
我们合体之后不信任他的这部分会怎样呢? What happens to that part of us when we're all back together?
一个莫蒂 不可分割吗? One morty? Indivisible?
任这个老逼摆布? Under a cranky old bag of dicks?
这个老逼在游戏里呆了 A man you can lock in a box with five billion pieces
整整五十个游戏年 Of his own god damn flesh and blood
却从未对分裂成五十亿部分的外孙 For 50 god damn simulated years
说出“我爱你”三个字 And never hear him say "I love you"?
对不起 小兔崽子 我不愿意听他的 Sorry, pumpkin tits, that dog don't hunt.
想嗑点海洛因吗? Wa-want some heroin?
咱们在游戏里 所以没关系的 I-it's a video game, might as well.
小子 准备发射了 Just about ready for launch, kiddo.
终于可以脱掉这身衣服了 I can finally get outta these clothes.
这件衣服口袋太少了 I don't have nearly enough pockets.
终于可以安回我自己的屌了 And it'll be nice to have my own dick back.
你不管8%的我死活了吗? Y-you're fine leaving 8% of me to die?
这8%不是什么好东西 莫蒂 It's not your finest 8%, morty.
并且8%可有可无的 And 8% of anything is expendable.
比如8%的披萨不过是一圈脆皮 8% of pizza is crust.
8%的扎导剪辑版不过是蝙蝠侠做恶梦 8% of the snyder cut was batman dreaming.
我听不懂这个梗啊! I don't know what that reference is!
我们在游戏里啊! We're in a video game!
很快就能出去啦! Not for long, baby!
我不会抛下那部分莫蒂自己走的 I'm not leaving without all of me.
什么?哎呀呀 我来做个算数哈 What? Oh, no, let me crunch these numbers.
50亿乘8%减一等于… 8% of five billion plus one person...
天了噜 你要是不走的话 一切照常 拜呀 My god, if you stay, it changes nothing! Bye.
她要是不走的话 我的国民也不会愿意离开 If she's not going, I don't think my country wants to go.
谁让你说话了 显示屏那边的人 Who invited you to chime in, monitor face?
如果我的意见不重要 那给我个显示屏干什么? Why give me a monitor if my opinion doesn't matter?
谁允许你为剩下的我们做主了? Your opinion isn't allowed to matter for the rest of us.
我们都是莫蒂 We're all a-morty.
我们到底要抛弃掉多大一部分莫蒂? How many chunks of us are we a-supposed to give up?
我不知道你怎么想的 Look, I don't know about you
但是我可是在以命相搏 but I was already Taking a big leap of faith, here.
我们命都不要了 只为成为某个陌生人的一小部分 We-we're basically giving up our lives to become a tiny part of a stranger...
我们的命又不是真的! These lives aren't a-real!
但是可以活很久啊! Yeah, but they're longer!
干什么啊?借首脑会议自杀吗? What... what is this, suicide by summit meeting?
不要吵了 Everyone stop.
瑞克 我会让莫蒂的每一部分都登船和你一起走 Rick, I'll get every single part of me to get on every ship and go with you.
好啊 Good.
但是你得先告诉我们你爱我们 But you have to tell us you love us.
就算他现在愿意说… I mean, at this point even if he said it,
但刚才停顿是什么鬼啊? What... what... What's with the pause?
去你的 耐心等啊! Screw you, wait for it!
-为信仰而战 -为信仰加油战! - Holy war! - Holier war!
为信仰战斗到底! Holiest war ever!
登船派外孙教徒又占领了七座城市 Loyalist evacucratic grandsonistas Claimed seven new cities today
而驻留派游戏现实反叛邦联 While the stayputlican contrasurgent confederation of dedication to video game reality
入侵了莫蒂乌托邦 invaded the territories of mortopia,
新南圣莫蒂 以及威莫脱 New south saint morty, and wemortyall.
又有什么关系呢 毕竟人人都是莫蒂 In the end, what does it matter, everyone's morty,
大家都不想死 所以才莫蒂之间互相残杀 Nobody wants to die, and that's a hell of a reason To kill yourself,
除此之外又能怎样呢? but what can we do?
我的天 Aw, geez.
你知道你是我外孙 现在发生的一切都是虚拟的 You know you're my grandson and none of this is real!
你到底要干嘛啊?你这是在自残! What are you trying to achieve? You're only hurting yourself!
我们之所以重要 是因为我们都是莫蒂的一部分 The only reason any of us matter is we're pieces of morty!
这是你教我们的 瑞克 You taught us that, rick.
但是你又教会我们你根本不在乎莫蒂 But you also taught us you don't care about morty.
那我就告诉你我在不在乎 Here's how much I care.
你要是再炸我几个飞碟 If you don't stop blowing up my flying saucers,
我就把你们赶尽杀绝 I will exterminate every last one of you!
不择手段 Anything it takes!
你想让我说什么?我爱你 我尊敬你行了吧? What do I have to say? I love and respect you, okay?
现在说已经太晚了 瑞克 Too late for talk, rick.
机器人 果不其然 A robot. Of course.
我可要保住自己的命 我要是死了 I'm not gonna risk dying because if I die in the game,
你马上脑死亡 不用谢! You go brain dead, you're welcome!
我宁愿死在游戏里 也不要在地狱里臣服于你! Better to die in roy than to serve in hell!
那夏茉呢?你不在乎她吗? And what about summer? Do... do you not care about her?
我们得回去帮她一把 We gotta get back, morty. We gotta help her.
我不知道她在哪 You know what, wherever she is,
但是我知道就算你不帮她 她也不会出事的 I'm sure she's doing fine without your help.
噗 你个乌鸦嘴 Woof, jinx, anyone?
咱们要把这里给炸掉吗? Should we finish the job, b-blow the place?
不行 不能就这样结束 No, this can't end, not like this.
我刚才是不是乌鸦嘴了? Do you think I jinxed her?
你怎么不把枪抬高点? Why aren't you shooting higher?
我不想打到玻璃 因为… I don't wanna shoot the glass. Because...
你不用照着《龙胆虎威》一板一眼行事 You don't have to not do things that were done in "die hard."
照着玻璃开枪!照着玻璃开枪! You can shoot the glass. Shoot the glass!
扔手雷!不择手段! Throw grenades! Do everything!
杀掉她! Just kill her!
龙胆虎威女士 你到底在这干什么? Why are you here, miss die hard?
我想知道你为什么不离开 I want to know why you don't just leave.
《龙胆虎威》死翘翘! "die hard"!
等下 嘘 嘘 Wait. Shh. Shh.
把大家都弄上飞船 然后呢? Aw, geez, we get every single person on a spaceship, And then what?
然后我们助力你姐姐的《龙胆虎威》行动 And then we help your sister do her "die hard."
别放《欢乐颂》 有点太过了 Too much. It's too much.
《虎胆龙威》里有这个配乐
对不起哦 Ooh, sorry.
我这有个特邀嘉宾 龙胆虎威女士 I've got a special guest with me, ms. Die hard!
我也可以叫你… Or should I call you...
这个男孩的姐姐 This guy's sister?
妈 Mom.
怎么了 亲爱的 Hello, dear.
我想加入敌对方 I'm joining the other side.
什么?为什么啊? What? Why?
我想和罗伊一起活在现实世界里 I wanna live in the real world with roy.
我想助力夏茉的《龙胆虎威》行动 I wanna help summer with her die hard."
他真名叫瑞克 His name is rick.
并且我们也不知道你这代人到底是不是莫蒂的一部分 And we have no way of knowing If your generation is actually part of morty.
你这话太冒犯人了 Do you know how offensive that is?
就是有你这样的父母 我才走向宗教极端主义 It's parenting like this that pushed me Into religious radicalism.
拜拜了 Bye.
这个不是… It's not...
不是宗教啊 Not a religion.
算了 But okay.
女士 这里很危险的 Ma'am, it's really not safe out here.
并且也到时间了 Also, it's... Time.
我们要登船了吗? Are we going on the spaceship now?
快了 爸 Pretty soon, dad. Yeah.
你在…骗我吗? Are you... Lying?
你说话的口气好像是在安慰将死之人 You kind of said it with that tone in your voice that we use for dying people.
我怎么会骗你呢 你都快死了 爸爸 I won't lie to you. You're dying, dad.
我们… And we're...
留在这个游戏里 Not leaving the video game.
我们就在这里过完自己的一生 We're... we're gonna live our lives out here.
什么?妈的为什么啊? What? Why the fuck?
为什么?因为这里更真实 Why? It's more real here.
我信了你的邪! The hell it is!
老子肝是真疼! My liver hurts!
我在这里是个老头! I'm old here!
我想当青少年男生! I wanna be a teenage boy!
我想蹦蹦跳跳 每天写作业 I want to jump around and do homework
打飞机射得到处都是 And jerk off all over the place.
但是那样的话 爸 But, dad, that's...
我们只会是一小部分他 We would've been one tiny part of that.
但在这里 我们是全部的自己啊 In here, we get to be who we really are.
呵 真好 我都要死了 Yeah. Great. Dead.
我在这里只能当死了的爹 I get to be a dead father.
老子真的是- Who do I make the...
老子… who do I... who...
别说了 爸 Don't talk, dad.
让我把话说完 Gotta finish my zinger
别了 You don't.
老子- 老子 Who do... who do...
老子真的是谢谢你了 Who do I make the check out to?
当你爹我倒了八辈子霉了 "best daughter ever... Incorporated"?
你怎么还在这 Thought you woulda left by now.
我想至少带一半莫蒂回家 I was hoping to get at least half of you home.
我等不了多久了 I can't hold out much longer.
我已经很努力争取时间了 I-I'm pretty much beating my heart voluntarily at this point.
说来有点不好意思 Okay, this is a little awkward,
但是膨胀的时间让我有了机会反思 But the time dilation has given me a chance to reflect.
我想对你说… And I-I-I gotta say...
无需多言 There's no need for that.
我是来告诉你 我决定下命令了 I've come to tell you, I'm giving the go-ahead.
所有莫蒂都会和你一起飞走 All of morty will leave with you.
去往现实世界 To the real world.
当你的外孙 To be your grandson,
助力夏茉的《龙胆虎威》行动 May we help summer do her "die hard."
这有点出乎我的意料 I-I gotta say, I-I was not expecting that.
你为什么改变心意了? W-why the change of heart?
我的子民们不离开只是因为他们忠于我 My people are staying only out of loyalty to me.
但我一介遗老 I'm a relic.
不能代表这里的人民了 I don't represent them anymore.
你真的是个好外孙 You really are a good grandson, you know that?
我为你感到自豪 莫蒂 I'm proud of you, morty.
请叫我玛塔 Please, call me marta.
这是我在游戏里的名字 That's my video game name.
不过我有一个条件 Speaking of which, I do have one condition.
《龙胆虎威》女士 我很是敬佩你 I must say I admire you, ms. Die hard.
你好比是主角麦克莱恩 You were a genuine mcclane...
标准美国小痞子 A most worthy yankee doodle ruffian.
但是一切都止于此了 But now it's all come to an end.
正如电影里的台词 你已经无路可退了 And the quarterback, as they say, is toast.
你背后没有用胶带贴把枪吧 I don't suppose you have a gun taped to your back.
什么鬼? What the hell does that mean?
《龙胆虎威》的结局 不过现在也无所谓了 It's how "die hard" ends. Doesn't matter now.
《龙胆虎威》主角背后贴着把枪? "die hard" tapes a gun to his back?
你最爱的电影结尾就这? That's the end of your perfect movie
你还按电影来规划自己的犯罪计划? That you've patterned your whole criminal life after?
目前看来计划还是很有用的 Well, it seems to have worked out pretty well for me
毕竟你快要死了 Since you're the one about to die.
你之前说的什么来着? What was it you said? Ah, yes.
对讲机 龙胆虎威死翘翘 大傻哔哔哔哔 "walkie talkie 'die hard, ' mother"
你笑什么? Why are you laughing?
就很好笑嘛 Well, it's funny.
你说傻逼这个词的时候 The way you said motherfucker
笑一笑而已啦 Just laughing.
是因为… Okay. It's just that...
这也是《龙胆虎威》里的剧情吗? Oh, does that happen in "die hard"?
主角约翰·麦克莱恩也笑了吗? Does john mcclane laugh,
搞得汉斯·格鲁伯一头雾水 And then hans gruber is confused
然后他俩开始一起大笑 But then they start laughing together for a second?
剧情的确是这样的 That actually does happen, yes!
等下 你一直都知道角色的名字? Wait. You knew their names this whole time?
不是一直都知道 Not this whole time, no.
你把你的书留在了厕所里 You left your book in the bathroom.
老娘拉屎的时候读了一遍 I read it while I took a shit.
主要读了结尾 I mean, mostly the ending.
咦咦咦咦… yiiiiiiiiiii...
皮皮皮皮皮… Ippppppeeeeeeeee...
滴皮嘟! Dippee doo, baby!
醒得正是时候 外公瑞克! Nice timing, grandpa rick!
欢乐女神 圣洁美丽 Tochter aus elysium...
来自席勒《欢乐颂》
呃 你还记得我吗? Uh... Hi, remember me?
我在桌子上被你枪杀了 You shot me on that table
濒死体验让我开始反思自己 And the near-death experience got me reflecting.
我以前不是这样的 I didn't used to be like this.
我-我吃了个小朋友 I-I... Uh, ate a kid.
当时天很黑 我以为他是个大人 It was dark, and I thought he was a grown-up.
从那以后我就没吃过别人了 Ever since then, I haven't eaten anybody at all.
我感觉自己把吃人的欲望发泄在了这份工作上 I think I was channeling all that pent-up Eating energy into this job.
但现在… But now...
谢谢你给我以自由 Thank you for freeing me.
经典《塔人》情节 Classic "tower man."
不过他台词也过于直白了 对吧莫蒂? Almost too on the nose. Right, morty?
嗯嗯 你说什么就是什么 瑞克 Sure. I mean, whatever you say, rick.
你最懂啦!我无条件信任你 Y-you know best! I trust you implicitly.
他没事儿吧? Is he alright?
没事的 Oh, yeah, he's fine.
把莫蒂的每个部分都救出来了 Got him all out, every last piece.
这个《罗伊》游戏怎么被破坏成这样了? What's with the jacked-up "roy" machine?
不应该送去维修吗? Shouldn't you be taking that to repairs?
特地没送去的 Nah, special order.
某个有钱老头想让他玩过的游戏继续运行 Some rich douche wants his last game to keep running.
连了外部电源 Hooked it up to an external battery.
让我们把游戏机放好 We're just supposed to store it.
真奇怪 Weird.
对啊 还有更怪的 Yeah, and get this.
游戏还在继续 但是主角罗伊死了 The game's still going, but roy's dead.
怎么可能? What?
罗伊的尸体在外太空的尽头飘荡着呢 Yeah, he's just a corpse floating at the edge of outer space,
但不知道为什么游戏没有重启 But for some reason the game won't restart
因为主角变成了某个过着充实人生的老女人 'cause it's centered on some old lady living a full life.
呃 听着真没意思 Hmm. Sounds bad.
放进这个储物间吧 Well, put it in there.
以后要是谁想玩的话还能不能- Hey is anybody that wants this later gonna be able to...
能的 所有的东西都有记录的 Huh? Oh, yeah, everything's cataloged and tracked.
大家觉得这个储物间空间不大 People got the wrong idea from the size of the space,
但是电脑里都有备案的 But it's all supported digitally.
所以放哪儿都行咯 这里可以吗? So I can put it anywhere. Here's fine?
放哪里都行 That's as fine as anywhere else!
不要走开 后面还有
我 讨厌 所有人
为什么没人攻击他啊? Why isn't anyone attacking him?
因为外面太他妈冷了? It's fucking freezing out?
不是 应该是因为那块牌子 No, I think it's the sign.
《虎胆龙威3》里那块牌子太种族歧视了 Well, the sign from "die hard 3" was clearly racist.
电影里是主角举着 I hate nigger我讨厌黑鬼
话说这么说 但这块牌子好像范围太广了 Obviously. But I think we went too broad.
“讨厌所有人” 这能冒犯到谁啊? "everybody"? I mean, who is that offending?
冒犯到所有人? Everybody?
咱们放弃得了 At this point, why even do it?
真希望我哥还活着 I wish my brother was still alive.