《小谢尔顿》第六季 第6集
《小谢尔顿》前情提要 Previously on Young Sheldon...
感觉我差不多要卷铺盖了 Sounds like I'm done here.
估计是找了迦太基那个教练吧 It's probably that coach from Carthage.
其实吧 Actually,
- 他们找了我 - 韦恩 - I got offered the job. - Wayne.
早啊 乔治 Morning, George.
- 我辞职 - 别这样 - I quit. - Come on.
我有任何机会能保住工作吗 Is there a chance I keep my job?
没有 No.
那至少让我走得体面点 Then at least let me leave on my own terms.
行吧 All right.
好 快要到了 All right, almost there.
我有种不祥的预感 I don't know about this.
上次你给我惊喜 是搞大了我肚子 The last surprise you got me is pressing on my bladder.
惊喜 Surprise.
你给我买了一辆丑车 You got me an ugly car?
不 我给自己买了一辆家庭用车 No, I bought me a family car.
那你的野马车呢 What about your Mustang?
我拿去换了 I traded it in.
就换了这个 For this?
卖车那人也是这么说的 That's what the guy at the lot said.
但你很喜欢那辆野马啊 But you love that Mustang.
是啊 可那车里 Yeah, but there was no way
放不下儿童安全座椅 I was gonna get a baby seat in the back.
你考虑得真周到 Well, that's very thoughtful.
这车可安全了 我妈妈也有一辆 And these things are real safe, too. My mom has one.
我小时候 她开车撞上了一辆冰淇淋 When I was little, she hit an ice cream truck with it.
我连醒都没醒 I didn't even wake up.
我要是现在告诉你 Is this a bad time to tell you
我是因为你的车很酷才喜欢你 是不是不太好 I only liked you for your cool car?
你现在这么说 You say that now, but wait till
但还是先看看后备箱 you see how many groceries we can get
能装多少东西吧 in the back of this thing.
真不敢相信你买了辆车 I can't believe you did this.
没什么大不了的 It's a no-brainer.
我想保护我们的宝宝啊 I want to keep our kid safe.
谢谢 Thank you.
有趣 Hm. That was interesting.
成熟点吧 Oh, grow up.
成熟 Grow up?
我刚买了一辆能坐二十五个人的车 I bought a car that seats 25.
你能来我们家吃饭 真是太好了 It's so nice that you're joining us for dinner.
求你别太小题大做了 Please don't make a big deal out of it.
我只是说挺好的啊 I just said it was nice.
你说的是太好了 You said so nice.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
没事 It's fine.
侄同胞父母 我有个疑问 Niblingo, I have a question.
侄同胞父母 Niblingo?
他自己编的 He made it up.
没有形容怀着我们侄子或侄女的 I coined it because there was no word
未婚妈妈的词 所以我才创造了这个词 to denote the unmarried mother of our niece or nephew.
谢尔顿 别这么没礼貌 Sheldon, that sounds rude.
你有什么更好的词形容 Do you have a better word for
侄子侄女的未婚妈妈吗 the unmarried mother of a niece or nephew?
我觉得没必要 I'm not sure we need one.
我觉得挺好的 I think it's sweet.
还行吧 Kind of.
你想问什么 Uh, what's your question?
谢谢 侄同胞父母 Thanks, Niblingo.
我听说女人怀孕时 I've heard that pregnant women
要为两个人吃饭 eat for two. Does that mean
意思是你要吃下整整两份饭吗 that you need two full-size portions?
那我看爸爸也怀孕了吧 I guess Dad's pregnant then.
一份就够了 One portion should be fine,
因为宝宝现在只有高尔夫球那么大 considering the baby's the size of a golf ball.
实际上 据我计算 Actually, according to my calculations,
应该是灯笼椒那么大 the baby's the size of a bell pepper.
不过算得也不一定对 Although I could be off.
你上次例假是什么时候 When was your last menstruation?
你不用理他 You do not need to answer that.
我也没打算回答 I was not going to.
我替他们向你道歉 I'm real sorry about them.
什... 我没说错话吧 Wh... I didn't say anything wrong.
我也没有啊 Neither did I.
你表现得过度友好了 You were being overly nice.
让大家都不自在 It made everybody uncomfortable.
谁吃饭的点打电话啊 Who's calling during dinner?
我们家有双胞胎的基因 You know, twins run in our family.
我怀的不是双胞胎 It's not twins.
真可惜 That's too bad.
怀上双胞胎 有两倍几率生出天才少年 It would double your chances of having a remarkable child.
像我这样的 Like me.
或者是讨人喜欢的孩子 Or a child that people like.
老实吃饭吧 Just eat your dinner.
你们会去查小孩的性别吗 Are you gonna find out the sex?
- 会 - 不会 - Yes. - No.
不查吗 No?
我想要个惊喜 I want to be surprised.
我可受够惊喜了 I don't like surprises.
那迎婴派对怎么办 别人会问的 What about the baby shower? People are gonna want to know.
对了 我们得办迎婴派对 Oh, yeah. We got to have a baby shower.
迎婴派对是什么来着 Remind me what a baby shower is.
我得走了 I got to go.
有什么事吗 Everything okay?
是彼得森的电话 That was Petersen.
好像是韦恩有什么事 Something's going on with Wayne.
- 什么事啊 - 不知道 - What's that mean? - I don't know.
但听起来不妙 Doesn't sound good.
你知道吗 现代的迎婴派对 Did you know the modern baby shower
历史能追溯到古埃及 has history that goes back to ancient Egyptian
和古希腊文化 and Greek civilizations?
天才少年 Remarkable.
晨曦汽车旅馆
出什么事了 What's going on?
不知道 他没来上班 I don't know. He didn't show up for work.
我听说他在这里 I heard he was here.
- 怎么回事啊 - 不知道 - What's that about? - I don't know.
走开 Go away.
韦恩 我是乔治 开门 Wayne, it's George. Open up.
我都说了走开了 I said go away.
你要是不开门... If you don't let us in...
汤姆说他要把门踹开 Tom here says he's gonna knock the door down.
你说什么... Why you got to...
喝点什么吗 Want a drink?
我这里有伏特加和沙士 I got vodka and root beer.
韦恩 发生什么了 Wayne, what's going on?
我的人生就是一个谎言 My life is a lie.
- 同性恋吗 - 我不知道 - Gay? - I don't know.
我们需要知道点别的 We're gonna need more than that.
我的婚姻 My marriage.
我美好的婚姻 结束了 My beautiful marriage... it's-it's over.
你和达琳吗 不会吧 You and Darlene? No.
你们俩是我认识最幸福的夫妻 You two are the happiest couple I know.
无论发生了什么 I mean, wh... whatever's going on,
都会过去的 it'll blow over.
她给我戴了绿帽子 She's cheating on me.
你确定吗 You sure?
兄弟 我很抱歉 这太糟了 Oh, man. I'm sorry, that's terrible.
她和我最好的朋友在一起了 With my best friend.
这更糟了 That's even more terrible.
她曾是我的全世界 She was my world.
好吧 但是你也没有理由拱手相让 Well there's no reason to throw in the towel.
你还可以把她抢回来 I mean, you can still get her back.
她怀了他的孩子 She's having his baby.
说点什么 Well... Say something.
这还能说什么 What do you say to that?
你真的从来没有怀疑过吗 You really never suspected anything?
你憋半天就这句话 That's what you say?
你可一句都没有 You had nothing.
韦恩 兄弟 Wayne, buddy, uh...
我知道这看起来很糟 No, I-I know it seems bad now,
事实也确实很糟 which it is.
这就是为什么看起来会这么糟 Which is why it seems that way.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
就让我一个人呆一会吧 Just... Just leave me alone.
你们帮不到我的 Y'all can't fix this.
你准备怎么办 What do you want to do?
不知道 我们不能把他留在这里 Oh, I don't know. We can't leave him here.
把他带到你家吧 Let's take him to your place.
- 我不能这样做 - 为什么 - I can't do that. - Why not?
如果我把每个有婚姻问题的老师都带回家 If I took in every teacher with marital problems,
我的公寓会忙得像个消防局 my apartment would look like a firehouse.
好吧 Fine.
韦恩 穿上裤子 你跟我回家 Wayne, grab your pants. You're coming with me.
我不想和你幸福的家庭呆在一起 I don't want to be around you and your happy family.
幸福吗 只需要和我们待几天 Happy? Uh, couple days with us
你就会庆幸 and you'll be glad that
那个孩子不是你的 kid ain't yours.
走吧 裤子穿上 Let's go. Pants.
还是要谢谢你 这真的很有趣 Well, thanks again. That was fun.
真的吗 和我的家人一起吃饭很有趣吗 Really? Dinner with my family?
我的家人根本不会和我说话 My family won't talk to me at all.
所以我永远欢迎"侄同胞父母"和家常饭 So, I'll take "Niblingo" And a home-cooked meal any day.
随时都欢迎你来 Well, you're always welcome.
我想冰箱里应该有冰淇淋 I think there's ice cream in the freezer,
你要不要进来 if you want to come in.
我是准备吃的 但是你可以看着 I mean, I'm gonna eat it, but you can watch.
谢了 不过我该去工作了 Thanks, but I got to get to work.
那是个自助洗衣房 It's a laundromat.
难道不可以自己运行吗 Doesn't it kind of run on its own?
你可以这么说 You'd think that,
但是还会有很多技术问题 but there's a lot of technical issues...
线头一类的 Lint and such.
好吧 晚安 Okay. Good night.
晚安 Good night.
看看我 Look at me.
破冰路漫漫啊 Just chipping away at the ice.
来了个问题 Well, this is a wrinkle.
米西 米西 Missy. Missy.
干吗 What?
有一个关于社会礼仪的问题 An issue of social protocol has arisen,
我需要你的意见 and I need your input.
他在这里干吗 What's he doing here?
不知道 I don't know.
更重要的是 我看电视的话会不会显得很无礼 But more importantly, would it be rude if I watch television?
妈妈 Mom.
- 妈妈 - 怎么了 - Mom. - What?
为什么威尔金斯教练在沙发上睡觉 Why is Coach Wilkins asleep on the couch?
不 问题应该是威尔金斯教练 No, the question is can I watch TV
在沙发上睡觉的时候 我能不能看电视 with Coach Wilkins asleep on the couch?
问得差不多 但性质不同 It's a subtle but important difference.
出去 Get out.
嘿 汤姆 Oh, hey, Tom.
他怎么样了 How's he doing?
还在睡觉 Still sleeping it off.
- 早上好 汤姆 - 玛丽 - Morning, Tom. - Mary.
我不敢相信达琳居然会这么对他 I just can't believe Darlene would do that to him.
是啊 Yeah, just...
还是在周五晚上的重要比赛之前 Right before the big game Friday night.
你觉得在那之前他能振作起来吗 Think he can pull himself together by then?
我怎么知道 How would I know?
认真的吗 这个男人生活正在分崩离析 Really? A man's life is coming apart
你们担心的却是橄榄球赛 and you're worried about a football game?
是啊 Well, yeah.
我们能到外面聊吗 Can we take this outside?
你们介意吗 Do you mind?
我不介意 I don't mind.
- 你介意吗 - 不介意 - Do you mind? - I don't mind.
我们不介意 We don't mind.
听着 乔治 我需要你的帮助 Oh, listen, George, I really need your help here.
我又能做什么 What do you expect me to do?
不知道 让他回去当教练 I don't know. Get him coaching again.
你把我的工作给他了 这是你自己的问题 You gave him my job. This is your problem.
- 你辞职了啊 - 你本来就准备解雇我的 - Well, you quit. - You were gonna fire me.
但是你抢先辞职的 But you quit first.
我们能不能专注到韦恩身上 Can we please just focus on Wayne?
拜托你了 乔治 I'm begging you, George.
你知道这个比赛有多重要 You know what a big deal this game is.
我不知道该怎么办才好 Don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do.
好吧 Okay.
谢了 我欠你个人情 Thank you. I owe you one.
我不是为了你 I'm not doing this for you,
而是为了队伍里的孩子们 I'm doing it for the kids on that team.
- 韦恩怎么办 - 他怎么了 - What about Wayne? - What about him?
也是为了韦恩 And Wayne.
我让小乔去汽车旅馆把你的车开回来了 I had Georgie go get your car from the motel.
谢了 Thanks.
相信我 这种时候就需要回去工作两天 Trust me, going back to work is just what you need.
你要知道 One thing you got to remember,
这事儿还没完呢 this story ain't over.
我们还不知道它会怎么收场 We don't know how it's gonna end.
只有一个人能决定故事的走向 那就是你 The only person that can decide that is you.
你才是故事的主人公 You are the hero of your story.
你来采取行动 你来做决定 You take the action. You call the shots.
只有你能决定自己的命运 You decide your destiny.
上次我们被纳卡多奇斯队打得落花流水 That's the same speech you gave at halftime
中场休息时你说的也是这番话 when we were getting our nuts crushed by Nacogdoches.
那你还记得后来发生了什么吗 And you remember what happened?
我们下半场又赢回来了 We came back and won that game.
那是因为人家的四分卫肩膀脱臼了 After their quarterback dislocated his shoulder.
你连试试都不肯吗 韦恩 You're not even trying, Wayne.
我还没放弃 你放弃了 I am, you're not.
麦卡利斯特女士 Ms. McAllister,
我们这里没有你的保险信息 we don't have any insurance information on file for you.
没事的 我们付现金 Oh, that's all right. We'll be paying in cash.
现金 Cash?
我们信仰上帝 In God we trust.
你一直随身带着那么多现金吗 You always carry that much cash around?
你以为我的胸罩里只有胸吗 Do you think there's just boobs in this bra?
我的意思是 为什么啊 No, I mean, why?
毕竟自助洗衣店做的是现金生意嘛 Well, the laundromat's a cash business.
你们收的不都是二十五美分硬币吗 That's mostly just quarters, though, isn't it?
对啊 但我们现在不还有家音像店吗 Uh, yeah, but, well, now we've got the video store,
我信不过银行 and I'm not real big on banks.
因为你经历过大萧条吗 Because you lived through the Depression?
对 Yeah.
来吧 大家 把笔拿出来 把书收回去 All right, everyone. Pencils out, books away.
准备好考试了吗 Let's get ready to take this test.
威尔金斯夫人 Mrs. Wilkins?
你确定想让我们今天考试吗 Are you sure you want us to take this test today?
为什么不呢 Why wouldn't I?
嗯 就是 Well, you know,
你最近过得也不顺吧 with everything you're going through?
好了 拿着你的战术手册 Okay, we got your playbook,
还有你的训练计划 we got your practice plan, and
先生 准备好带领球队大杀四方吧 you, sir, are ready to coach some kick-ass football.
谢了 乔治 Thanks, George.
真的很感谢 I really appreciate
你为我做的这些事情 everything you've done for me.
我确实需要回到工作岗位上来 Coming back to work was just what I needed.
不用谢 Happy to help.
威尔金斯教练 Coach Wilkins.
你都跟米西·库珀说了些什么 What the hell did you tell Missy Cooper?!
我就不打扰了 I'll give you some privacy.
这一排都是最新影片 Over in this aisle we've got your new releases.
这里是冒险动作片 Here are your action and adventures...
史泰龙呀 施瓦辛格呀 Your Stallones, your Schwarzeneggers,
尚格·云顿之类的 your Van Dammes,
当然 我们也有一整排的言情片 and of course we have a whole row of chick flicks,
电影行业里也叫浪漫喜剧 known in the movie biz as rom-coms.
不得入内 Do not enter?
- 那后面是什么 - 那个啊 就是 - What's back there? - Oh, that? That's just
一些库存 还有倒带机器 some storage and a bunch of machines
有些顾客还片前不倒带 that rewind the tapes when people are not kind
就得用它倒回去 and don't rewind.
不错啊 Very cool.
嘿 如果店里需要有人收银 Hey, if you ever need any help behind the cash register,
我宁愿在这里工作 I'd sure rather be working here than being
- 也不想在餐厅里站一整天 - 别啊 - on my feet all day at the diner. - Mm, no.
你不会想干这个的 No, you don't want to do that.
你服务员做得多好啊 You're such a good waitress.
在这里就大材小用了 It'd be a waste of your talent.
嘿 小乔 Hey, Georgie.
莱特利奇警官 Officer Rutledge.
恭喜你啊 商业版图又扩大了 Congratulations on your expanding business empire.
谢谢 有心了 Thank you. Very kind.
你好啊 杰克 Hey there, Jake.
嘿 康妮 Hey, Connie.
我正跟你外孙讲呢 I was just telling your grandson here
我太喜欢这家新店了 how much I love the new place.
曼迪 我带你去看看儿童区吧 Mandy, let me show you the kids section.
《兔八哥》《摩登原始人》《布偶奇遇记》 都在这里 Got all the Looney Tunes, Flintstones, Fraggle Rock.
怎么回事 What's going on?
没事啊 既然我们孩子快出生了 Nothing. Just figured we're having a kid,
总得先熟悉一下这个领域吧 we should be familiar with the genre.
谢谢你特意过来一趟 Well, thanks for dropping by.
我们得重新谈谈合作计划了 We need to renegotiate our arrangement.
嗯 一定尽快安排 Uh, and we will talk about that soon.
不过... Meanwhile...
拿点红藤扭扭糖吧 我的小小心意 Grab some Red Vines. Show of good faith.
你看不出杰克是这样的人吧 You wouldn't think it about Jake, but...
其实他可爱看外国电影了 he just loves a foreign film.
别装了 好吗 Just stop it, okay?
- 我知道这里在搞什么鬼 - 你知道了 - I know what's going on here. - You do?
疑神疑鬼的警察 那次去墨西哥的旅行 That creepy cop, that trip to Mexico,
还有你胸罩里的现金 all that cash in your bra.
你们在贩毒吧 Y'all are selling drugs.
我们还真没贩毒 We're not selling drugs.
你敢说那扇门背后 So you're telling me there's nothing weird
一点猫腻都没有吗 going on back there?
这我可没说 Oh, I didn't say that.
我们去走一圈吧 Let's take a walk.
请保持一颗开放的心 Try and keep an open mind.
我的天呐 Oh, my God.
看到了吧 没贩毒 See? Not drugs.
这个铃声响起 And that is the sound
就代表庄家多了22%的胜率 of a 22% house advantage.
这合法吗 Is it legal?
- 合法啊 - 不合法 - Yes. - No.
- 灰色地带吧 - 嗯 - Kind of. - K... Kind of.
所以警察也有份吗 So, the police are in on it.
算有吧 嗯 A little bit, yeah.
用行话来说 就是匿名股东 Silent partner, as they say.
我知道这一时难以接受 I know it's a lot.
这太棒了 It's amazing.
是吗 It is?
我的孩子能去私立学校了 My kid's going to private school.
你要去私立学校啦 You're going to private school!
好了各位 训练得不错 All right, everybody. Great practice.
都过来集合 蹲下 Let's gather round, take a knee.
教练 你来吧 All right, Coach. They're all yours.
谢了 乔治 Thank you, George.
瞧瞧你们 Look at you guys.
个个年轻力壮 Young, strong,
满怀理想和希望 all your hopes and dreams in front of you.
对外面世界的黑暗 None of you have any idea
一无所知 of what's out there waiting for you.
韦恩 你想说什么 Wayne, where you going with it?
团队需要信任 A team requires trust.
没错 Sure,
在球场上被抢断的时候 你能指望队友 you can count on your teammates when the ball is snapped.
但当他们与你要共度一生的女人 But can you count on them when they're away
出差参加教职工大会时 at a teachers conference
还能指望他们依旧把你当兄弟吗 with the woman you were gonna spend your life with?
能吗 Hmm?
行...吧 Okay.
准备数三下加油打个气 "Team" On three.
我绝不向程序低头 I will not submit to the procedures.
这是数据少校 That's Commander Data.
他是个仿真机器人 但立志要做个真人 He's an android, but he aspires to be human.
反正我是觉得 Which, if you ask me,
这属于历史倒退 is a step in the wrong direction.
我理解你的抗议 I understand your objection.
他这状态怎么带周五晚上的比赛 I don't know how he's gonna coach the game on Friday night.
太可怜了 Poor man.
我不敢相信他的婚姻 Can you believe his marriage
- 就这么破裂了 - 我也是 - falling apart like that? - I know.
就算是婚姻破裂 也是我们两个首当其冲 If it was gonna happen to anybody, you'd think it'd be us.
那可不嘛 Ain't that the truth.
我今天看到你老婆了 Saw your wife today.
我听说了 I heard.
还好你待在了这里 她看着很生气 You're smart to stay here. She seems pretty mad.
周五晚 - 德克萨斯州 泰勒市
韦恩 我们抢回球了 Okay, Wayne, we got the ball back,
你想怎么办 what do you want to do?
自尽 Kill myself.
兄弟 帮帮忙 Come on, buddy, help me out here.
乔治 我做不到 I can't, George.
做不到啊 I just can't.
行吧 Okay.
斯蒂文斯 All right. Stevens!
来 听好了 Come on. All right, listen up.
接下来的比赛你们就抱球跑阵 All right, we're gonna run the ball the rest of the game.
明白吗 两手抱球 Okay? Two hands.
- 就最基本的 - 明白 教练 - Nothing fancy. All right? - Yes, Coach.
让他们去传球 失球也是他们的 Let them pass, let them turn it over.
懂了吗 去吧 All right? Go.
我带了披萨回家 来吃点 Hey, I brought some pizza home, come on.
走不开 Can't.
老弟 没地方在漏水 Sheldon, there ain't no leaks.
但是有漏的可能 我不能冒险 There might be. I can't risk it.
那我给你拿一块披萨来 You want me to bring you a slice in here?
披萨屑怎么办 What about crumbs?
屑招虫 虫带病 Crumbs attract bugs. Bugs bring disease.
把水桶给我 Give me the bucket.
你去吃 我在这里看着 I'll watch for leaks while you go eat.
- 真的吗 - 真的 - Really? - Yeah.
好的 Okay.
特别注意电脑上方的区域 But keep an eye above the computer,
那是我的核心活动区 that's the heart of my whole operation.
明白 Got it.
- 以及火车模型区域 - 赶紧去吃饭 - And the train set. - Go eat.
谢尔顿 你哥呢 Sheldon, where's your brother?
他在我房间 别去打扰他 He's in my room. Don't distract him.
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
检漏 I'm on leak patrol.
啥 What?
我得照看我弟弟 I'm babysitting
只有这样才能让他吃饭 and it's the only way I can get my brother to eat.
怎么了 What's up?
我就是想谢谢你 I just wanted to thank you
一直以来都这么好 for how wonderful you've been.
你竟然注意到了 Oh, good, you noticed.
我注意到了 I noticed.
进展如何 Status report?
非常干燥 Dry as a bone.
所以我还有时间吃第二块披萨 So, I have time for a second slice?
大把时间 Go nuts.
收到 Copy.
我们的孩子再怎么怪 我都有心理准备了 If our kid's weird, I'm ready.
最终比分 梅德福 6:0 泰勒 Final score, Medford 6, Tyler 0.
乔治 George!
祝贺你 Congratulations.
谢了 汤姆 Thanks, Tom.
下礼拜还想再来吗 Feel like doing this again next week?
什么意思 What are you saying?
意思是你复职了 I'm saying you got your job back.
前提是你愿意的话 If you want it.
那韦恩怎么办 What about Wayne?
什么怎么办 What about him?
他也得一起 He's got to be part of the deal.
你还嫌事儿不够多 Don't you have enough to worry about?
他是我的朋友 He's my friend.
而且他得先有工作 才能从我家搬出去 And if I want him out of my house, he needs a job.
你说了算 Your call.
谢了 汤姆 Thanks, Tom.
不客气 You bet.
喂 你干嘛 Hey! What...
因为你之前把我炒了 That's for firing me.
是你先辞职的 You quit!
早上好 Morning.
你起得真早 You're up early.
没你回来得晚 You were out late.
我只是在... Uh, yeah. I was just, uh...
我知道你去了哪儿 I know where you were.
行 Okay.
需要聊聊吗 Do we need to talk about this?
我还挺享受这种尴尬的气氛 I'm happy to just enjoy the awkwardness.
好极了 那... Great. Well...
我先撤了 I'm gonna go.
我盯着你呢 And I'm gonna watch you.