快一点啦 今天大日子耶 Hurry up, it's a big day.
你想让新娘子等你一个人喔 You don't want to make the bride wait for you, do you?
老板 一样 The usual, boss.
钱一样跟我妈算 Put it on my mom's tab.
好 ok All right, no problem
1994年 1994
那一年 我十六岁 I was 16 that year
张雨生的歌声还在 Chang Yu-Sheng's voice was still heard on TV shows.
张学友的“吻别”大卖了一百多万张卡带 Jacky Cheung sold more than one million cassettes for the "KissGoodbye" album.
组头还没开始看中华职棒 The bookies hadn't started watching CPBL
经典的龙象大战总是满场 and the classic Dragon-Elephant games were always sold out.
那年 That year
有一个皮肤黑黑的女生五度五关(张惠妹) a girl with tanned skin won the championship on the local talent show
赢得了五灯奖的冠军 for five consecutive rounds.
那一年… That year...
那些年 Those years.
我叫柯景腾 My name is Ko Ching-Teng.
同学都叫我柯腾 My friends called me Ko-Teng
我国中念的是彰化市精诚中学 I went to Jingcheng in Changhua City for junior high school.
高中念的也是精诚中学 As for high school, I stuck to the same one, too.
这是许博淳 This is Hsu Bo-Chun.
从国中起就是我最好的朋友 He has been my best friend since junior high school.
许博淳随时随地都在勃起 He's always getting a boner
所以外号叫“勃起” that's why we named him "Boner".
干 Fuck!
干三小 Fuck what?
死柯腾 别跑 You are dead meat. Don't run.
这是阿和 This is A-Ho.
我们从国小就一直同班到高中 We have been in the same class all the way from elementary to high school.
每一个故事都有一个胖子 There is a fat guy in every story.
阿和就是那一个胖子 A-Ho is the fat guy in our story.
你们很烦耶 Stop bugging me.
刚刚好啦 Why not?
教官早 Good morning, Sir.
早 Good morning.
教官早 Good morning, Sir.
早 Good morning.
教官早 Good morning, Sir.
早 Good morning.
教官早 Good morning, Sir.
头发太长罗 Your hair is too long.
该剪的要剪一剪了 It's time to get a haircut.
你不要每天都这样好不好 Gosh, can you stop that?
怎样 What?
不要每次都从后面吓人啊 Stop doing that
跟你讲几次了 I have told you a million times!
所以咧 Why not?
很浪费啊 You totally wasted my food
我热狗只吃一口 I only had one bite of that hotdog.
所以 So...
啊你是不会接喔 Don't you know how to catch?
曹鸡巴 Cock Tsao.
一大早就那么鸡巴 Why are you such a jackass in the morning.
我跟你说 You know what?
昨天我抽到Grant Hill 1:40的限定卡 I won a Grant Hill 1 to 40 limited edition card yesterday.
这是老曹 This is Tsao.
老曹从国中跟我同班就是一个很鸡巴的人 We have been classmates ever since junior high and he has always been an ass.
所以有时候我会叫老曹 We called him.
这么鸡巴 Show off?
不然你拿你1:100的Penny Hardaway来换 We can switch then for your 1 to 100 Penny Hardaway cards.
我才不要咧 No way!
不要 不要还来 Piss off, then.
我这几个好朋友唯一的共通点 The only thing that these boys shared in common with...
就是喜欢班上最乖的好学生 was that they all had a crush on the honor student in the class.
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi.
在我看起来 From my point of view.
沈佳宜只是比一般的女生还要再漂亮一点点而已 Shen Chia-Yi was only slightly prettier than the other girls.
真搞不懂 Don't know what the guys were thinking.
欸 沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi.
干嘛 Yes?
你昨天有看玫瑰之夜吗 Did you watch Rose Night yesterday?
你说那个太极峡谷的那个照片啊 Are you talking about the Taichi Gorge photo?
对呀 我觉得超可怕的 Yeah, the picture was horrifying
而且我全身都起鸡皮疙瘩了 I got goose bumps all over.
那个故事听起来很可怕 The story sounds terrifying but...
可是那张照片我看不太出来耶 I can't really tell from the picture though
我觉得只是拍摄角度的问题 I think it was the shooting angle that does the trick.
真的吗 You think so?
第五课跟第六课的考卷 Now, start doing the exercises for lesson five and six.
写不完的升旗后继续写 Continue after the assembly if you can't finish.
自己写自己的 Focus on your own exercises.
不可以讨论 No discussion.
这是廖英宏 This is Liao Ying-Hung.
廖这个姓 His surname, Liao, is a verb in Chinese.
是个动词 And it means to scratch.
既然是个动词 Since it's a verb
就不能白白浪费 we should make good use of this verb.
所以我们帮他取了个绰号 Thus, we gave him a nickname.
叫“廖该边” "Groin"
该边当然也喜欢沈佳宜 "Groin" likes Shen Chia-Yi, too.
因为该边喜欢班上每一个女生 That's because he likes every girl in the class.
一大清早就这么 It's early morning and everyone looks half asleep.
没 精 神 Stand straight.
还睡 Wake up!
站好 Stand straight.
还动 Stop moving.
起立 Stand up.
立正 Attention.
敬礼 Salute.
老师好 Good morning, Miss Chou.
各位同学好 坐下 Good morning, everyone. Sit down.
乾隆丁亥年 In year 1974, it was still the Qing dynasty.
也就在 So it means that.
丁亥年就在我们乾隆的三十二年 It was the thirty second year that China was ruled under Emperor Qianlong.
其实高中跟国中差不了多少 There was really not that much difference between junior high and senior high.
地狱十七层跟十六层的差别而已 Just a matter of how deep you are in hell.
念书 考试 整个很无聊 Endless studies, exams... it's all very boring!
有人物时间 还有再来就是地点 There is the character, the time and then it's the place.
那地点是在哪里呢 Where is the place?
地点就在我们的上元之… The place...
但想办法找一点事做就不会那么无聊了 But, we can always find a way to entertain ourselves!
许博淳 Hsu Bo-Chun
起来念下一段 stand up and read the next section.
站起来念啊 Stand up and read.
上到哪一段都不知道 You don't even know where we are.
有没有在上课啊 Hello... are you in the classroom.
柯景腾 Ko Ching-Teng
你在笑什么 what are you laughing at?
你念 You read it.
汝以一念之贞 遇人仳离 (Reading paragraphs from the textbook)
站起来念 Stand up and read.
不是很方便 It's not very convenient.
什么叫做“不是很方便” What do you mean "not very convenient"?
站起来 Stand up.
上课打手枪 Jerking off.
上课打手枪 Jerking off right in the class
我教书教这么多年 I have been a teacher for so many years
考试作弊的 I have seen students who cheat
打架的 get into fights
勒索同学的 black mail.
甚至于想打老师的 Or even those who beat up teachers!
什么坏学生我没见过 I have seen all kinds of problematic students
我就没见过像你们这样变态的 but just no perverts like you!
又没有射 I didn't even ejaculate.
你还说 And that's an excuse?
对呀 Yeah.
我们只是打好… We were just fooling around...
你也一样 You, too.
你们父母花这么多钱把你们送到学校来读书 Your parents spent so much money to send you to school
你们不知道好好珍惜 and you guys don't even cherish how lucky you are.
什么是打手枪啊 What's jerk off?
上课打手枪 Jerking off in the classroom.
喂 Hey?
我不知道耶 I don't know.
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi
你出来一下 come out here for a second.
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi
柯景腾以后坐在你前面 from now on, Ko Ching-Teng will sit in front of you.
你帮老师好好管管他 Keep an eye on him for me.
千万不要让他把其他同学带坏 Don't let him be a bad influence on others.
顺便督促一下他功课 Give him a push on his schoolwork, as well.
知不知道 Okay?
许博淳 Hsu Bo-Chun.
以后 In the future
你坐在谢明和前面 you will sit in front of Hsieh Ming-Ho.
一样 The same goes for you.
不要给我作怪 Don't goof around again.
再作怪的话 我请你父母到学校来 If you do, I will ask your parents to come to school.
听到没有 Get it?
听到 Got it.
都上课去 Now, go to your class.
谢谢老师 Thank you, sir.
虽然沈佳宜国中已经跟我同班了三年 Even though Shen Chia-Yi and I have been in the same class ever since junior high
但好学生跟坏学生之间的距离 the distance between an honor student and a bad student
并没有因此有任何的改变 always stayed the same.
换到这种鸟地方 倒霉啊倒霉啊 It's shitty luck to sit in such a shitty seat.
到底是谁倒霉啊 Who has bad luck now?
坐在我前面 You are sitting in front of me now.
你不要再搞一些幼稚的把戏 You better stop your childish pranks.
造成我的困扰 So you don't bring me unnecessary troubles.
当好学生真好 It must be nice to be an honor student.
只要成绩好 Just because you have good marks
就能乱呛人 doesn't mean you can boss people around.
谁稀罕管你啊 Who cares about what you think?
欸 你也不用太管他啦 Don't mind him, don't let him bother you.
对呀 That's right.
他只是上课爱打手枪而已啦 He just likes to masturbate in the classroom.
干 Fuck.
你会喜欢作怪 就是因为你平常不好好念书的关系 The reason you like to goof around is because you don't concentrate on your studies.
对啊 Yeah.
你好强喔 你好会读书喔 You're so clever, you are such a smart ass.
像沈佳宜这种好学生 A nerd like Shen Chia-Yi
逮到机会 就喜欢多管闲事 likes to poke her nose into other people's business whenever she gets a chance.
整天画这种智障的东西 All you do is drawing these retarded figures every day.
没前途啦 Where's the future in that?
要你管啊 It's none of your business
是没有要管啊 只是想笑一下而已呀 I'm pretty much minding my own business. I just want to have a good laugh.
没品 Moron.
为什么你画的智障 每个都是光头啊 How come every retard you drew is bald?
你是歧视光头 还是歧视智障 Do you discriminate against bald heads or retards?
管好你自己就好 Mind your own business.
你乌龟喔 Man, you are as slow as a turtle!
拜拜 Bye.
柯腾 Ko-Teng.
啊 What?
你不要一直为难沈佳宜 Stop giving Shen Chia-Yi a hard time.
妈啦 Yeah right.
就这样 That's all.
还这样咧 That's all???
每个男人都想要成为最强的男人 Every man wants to be the strongest man.
我也不例外 Including me.
总有一天 One day
我一定要成为跟师父一样强的男人 I will be as strong as my master.
你 已 经 死 了 You are D.E.A.D.
我的个性之所以这么豪迈 跟我的家人大有关系 The fact that I am so reckless has got something to do with my family.
妈 洗发精没了 Ma, shampoo is out.
唉唷 穿衣服啦 Hey, put some clothes on.
都这么大了 You're a grown-up now
真的很大吼 I know, it has grown so big, right?
我老爸在家里 也是脱裤懒 My father also likes to walk around butt naked in the house.
今天学校有打电话来 The school called today.
男女合校就男女合校 What's the big deal about coed school?
在学校就专心读书 Concentrate at school.
不要搞一些有的没的嘛 Stop goofing around.
搞什么 What did I do?
趁热吃 趁热吃 Eat first, while it's still hot.
吃完再说啦 Talk later.
你成绩一直都吊车尾 是不是都不读书 Why are your grades always in the bottom percentile?
整天只想搞一些谈情说爱的事 Is it because you are thinking about girls all the time, is that why?
我对女生没兴趣啦 No, I am not interested in girls!
我对男生也没兴趣啊 I'm not interested in guys, either.
说到谈情说爱 Speaking of girls.
我那些好朋友 Each one of my good friend
每个人喜欢沈佳宜的方式都不一样 liked Shen Chia-Yi in a different way.
廖该边 你想干嘛 Groin, what are you doing?
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi
我刚刚发明了一个新魔术 I have just invented a new magic trick
第一个变给你看 I want you to be the first one to see it.
胡家玮你 要不要顺便也看一下 Hu Chia-Wei, do you want to see it, too.
搞笑的吗 Is it a prank?
哪是啊 是很厉害的 No way. It's amazing.
看清楚喔 Look closely.
该边的方法基本上没错 Basically, Groin was on the right track.
就是逗女孩子开心 It's to cheer the girls up and make them laugh.
这只手也没有 Nothing in this hand, either.
看清楚喔 Look closely.
廖该边 你很无聊 Groin, you are such a bore.
比起该边的弱智魔术 Besides Groin's retarded magic.
老曹讨女生开心的方式… Tsao had a very different way to make girls happy.
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi.
曹国胜 Tsao Kuo-Sheng.
没人理解 And no one gets it.
阿和很喜欢看一些大人在看的杂志 A-Ho liked to read what grown-ups read.
对很多我不想懂的事都非常了解 So he knew many things that we didn't.
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi.
你记不记得我之前有借你一张Air Supply的专辑 Do you remember the Air Supply album that I lent you.
嗯 Um... I remember.
下个月他们要来开演唱会 They are coming next month.
如果我拿到票要不要一起去 Do you want to go if I have tickets?
去台北看吗 To Taipei?
坐火车去啊 We can take the train.
胡家玮 Hu Chia-Wei.
要不要一起去 Do you want to go with us?
好啊… Yes, sure.
听起来很有趣耶 Sounds fun.
用大人的方式追沈佳宜最不着痕迹 The adult's way is the most subtle way to chase after Shen Chia-Yi.
Air Supply是谁啊 Who is Air Supply?
有人说 Someone said.
展现自己最笨拙的一面也是追求女孩的一种方式 Showing one's clumsy side is also another way to pursuit girls
我想 I think.
勃起充分验证了这个方式… Boner has tried this many times.
许博淳 Hsu Bo-Chun.
你可不可以不要再吹了啊 Can you stop playing?
并不管用 And it proves that his way doesn't work at all.
我也有喜欢的女生 Me? Yes, there's also a girl I like.
只是我们之间 暂时不可能 But it's unlikely that we can develop anything at that point in time.
没关系 That's fine
我会慢慢长大 I will grow up.
成为一个配得上她的男人 One clay, I will turn to be the man that deserves her.
那一天 That day.
英文老师不晓得是股票输钱 Nobody knew if the English teacher had lost money in the stock market
还是月经乱掉 or her menstruation period went wild.
整张脸跟大便一样臭 She had a shitty face.
散发出比平常更重的杀气 She looked like she was about to kill someone.
起立 Stand up.
坐下 上课 Sit down. Let's begin
原本我以为 I thought
如果有一天能够看到品学兼优的沈佳宜出糗 it would be great fun to see the smart ass student, Shen Chia-Yi
一定是上学最大的乐趣 makes a blunder
我是说 I meant.
原本 "I thought."
没带课本的站起来 Stand up if you didn't bring your textbook.
柯景腾 Ko Ching-Teng
学期已经过了三分之一了 we have gone through a third of this semester.
每天要用的英文课本你都没带 And you don't even have your English textbook with you, which we use every day.
你有没有心上课啊 Are you serious about getting an education?
椅子 Chair.
你知道私立学校的学费很贵吗 Don't you know private schools are expensive?
连最基本的课本都不带 If you don't even have your textbook
你来学校干嘛 then why do you even bother coming to school?
来吃便当啊 Here to eat your lunchbox?
便当本来就要吃啊 Lunch is essential! Of course I have to eat it.
你还蛮会开玩笑的嘛 You think you're very funny, huh?
你到底有没有羞耻心啊 Have you no shame?
手举高一点 Raise your arms higher.
再高一点 Raise them higher.
你是没吃饭是不是 So weak! Didn't you eat?
出去外面跳十圈再进来 Go do 10 rounds of squat jumps outside.
我有叫你放下来吗 Did I ask you to put your hands down?
举高 Higher!
I say to you today
my friends
that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment
I still have a dream
that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment
I still have a dream.
It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream
I have a dream
that one day this nation will rise up.
沈佳宜如果不是那么假正经 其实还满可爱的 Shen Chia-Yi would be kind of cute if she wasn't such a prude
and live up the true meaning of its dream.
你在想什么啊 What are you thinking?
一整天都怪怪的 You've been weird all day long.
没有啊 Nothing.
要不要带你去收惊啊 Do you need an exorcism?
你想太多了 You are thinking too much.
训导处报告 Head office announcement
三年二班周杰伦 Jay Chou in third year
马上到训导处来 please come to the head office now.
哎唷 屌哦 Sweet.
干嘛啊 What?
昨天谢谢 Thank you for yesterday.
没差 反正我脸皮厚 No big deal. I have no shame anyway.
谢谢 Thank you.
我看你干脆请我喝饮料好了 Why not just buy me a drink?
不然一直听你说谢谢 很奇怪 It's weird to hear you keep on saying "thank you".
我可以问你一个问题吗 Can I ask you a question?
问啊 Go ahead.
你干嘛不读书 Why don't you want to study?
没有不读啊 It's not like I don't want to
要是我认真念书起来 I am afraid if I really tried
实力强到连我自己都会害怕 I would be so good that I would even scare myself.
小心我一念书 You better watch out then if I do study
立刻就把你干掉 I would beat you immediately.
挑一下啊 Wanna take up the challenge?
怕你喔 Sure, why not.
柯景腾 Ko Ching-Teng.
干嘛 What?
这是我自己出的考卷 This is a quiz I made up myself.
你拿回家写 Take it and do it at home.
明天带来给我改 Bring it back tomorrow.
真的假的啦 Are you for real?
还爱心考卷 A quiz made out of love.
还有这本数学参考书 And here is a math exercise book.
我用黄色萤光笔划下来的地方算三遍 See the questions I've highlighted in yellow? Do them three times.
下次小考应该就有五十分了 You will probably score at least 50% in the next quiz.
才五十 Only 50%
我没说考好成绩很容易呀 I didn't say it's easy to get good grades
算完了基本题 I will give you some harder problems
我再出难一点的给你 after you finish the basics.
欠你钱喔 What do I owe you?
我干嘛听你的 Why should I listen to you?
因为我不想瞧不起你 Because I don't want to look down on you.
妈啦 Yeah right!
成绩好就可以瞧不起人 You can be so stuck up just because you have good grades.
那你继续好了 我又没差 Go on then, I don't really care
我瞧不起的 不是成绩不好的人 I don't look down on people with bad grades
我瞧不起的 I look down on you because
是一个明明自己不努力念书 you pick on people with good grades
却只会瞧不起用功念书的人 while you don't even try to work hard.
穿衣服啦 Put on some clothes.
不然会感冒 Otherwise you'll catch a cold.
哪有可能 That's impossible.
我师父是李小龙耶 My master is Bruce Lee.
吞下去再说 Swallow your food before you speak.
你卫生纸怎么用那么快啊 Why is our tissue paper running out so fast?
干嘛 What?
考卷 Your quiz.
你错很多耶 You made so many mistakes.
你回去没看参考书就直接写了 对不对 You did the problems without reading the exercise book, didn't you?
这两题 你可以从参考书上找解答 You can find the answers for these two problems in the exercise book.
这一题比较难 This one is harder.
不是背公式就可以解的 It's not the kind of problem you can solve with a formula.
需要用到这里跟这里的概念 You need to use these theories.
我圈起来了 你回去自己看 You go home and read the parts I circled.
念书好烦 It's such a pain to study.
所以会念书的人很厉害啊 That's why people who are good at studying rule.
你为什么要盯柯景腾念书啊 Why are you helping Ko Ching-Teng to study?
他成绩能看吗 Did you see his grades?
也不干你的事啊 It's none of your business.
真的很烂耶 They are really bad.
那也不干你的事啊 Still, it has nothing to do with you.
来 小姐 这是你的 这是你的 Miss, this is yours and this is yours.
谢谢老板 Thank you!
谢谢 Thank you!
真不像你 It's so not you
我讨厌什么都不努力 却一点也没有自觉的人 I hate people who are lazy and have no sense of self-awareness at all.
喔 Ok
我又不是在说你 I'm not talking about you.
没有在说我啊 You sure?
念书好无聊哦 It's so boring to study
为什么沈佳宜可以这样每天念书咧 I don't understand why Shen Chia-Yi can do this every day.
你说说看啊 Do you have any idea?
我跟你说哦 Let me tell you.
这种尖酸的题目就算解得出来 Being able to solve these tricky math questions.
对人生还是一点帮助都没有啦 Does nothing good in life!
来 Here.
怎么那么用功啊 Why do you work so hard?
没有啊 随便念 No, I just study when I feel like it.
要念就要认真念 If you want to study, study hard then.
什么随便念 What do you mean "when you feel like it"?
好啦 我考虑一下 Fine, I will think about it.
吃稀饭 Eat porridge.
省着点用喔 Don't finish it too quickly.
对了 By the way
老板前几天刚进一批新货 都没有拆 there was a new shipment in the store a few days ago. The whole package was unopened
可是他要整盒卖 so the store owner wants to sell the whole thing together.
所以你们觉得要买整盒的SKYBOX 还是两盒CC啊 Do you think I should buy the whole package of SKYBOX or two boxes of CC?
SKYBOX太贵了 SKYBOX is too expensive.
所以两盒CC罗 So, two boxes of CC?
你昨天是打几次啊 How many times did you jerk off yesterday?
这么想睡哦 Why are you so tired?
打你的头啦 Jerk off your ass.
你自己头自己打 不要打我的啦 Mind your own business.
干 Fuck!
起来吃肉圆啦 Get up and eat your meatballs.
你不吃 我把你吃掉喔 If you don't eat it, I'm going to finish yours, too.
沈佳宜 你看 新魔术 Shen Chia-Yi, check out my new magic.
你白痴耶 You idiot.
该边 还不错喔 Not bad!
太恶了啦 Gross!
他今年变过最好的 It's the best this year.
今年最好的对不对 Isn't it?
你们在干嘛 What are you guys doing?
新魔术啦 It's a new magic.
真的假的 我要看我要看 For real? Show me! Show me!
我变一次给你看 I will show you.
超恶的 It's gross.
就假装有喝 其实没有 Just pretend that you are drinking, but don't swallow it.
你很逊耶 You suck.
你好恶喔你 You are so gross.
订正 Make correction
十分钟 10 minutes.
依我的聪明才智 Because I am so damn smart
五分钟就绰绰有余了 5 minutes is more than enough.
要念出来念啦 Don't study in the toilet
恁母啊 我尿快要闪出来了啦 I am going to pee in my pants.
妈 你不要吓我啦 Ma, stop scaring me.
我吓你干嘛啦 Why would I?
棒棒咧紧出来 Dump it out and come out.
快啦 Hurry up.
这晚还不困 Why are you up so late?
咧冲三小啊 What the hell are you doing in there?
在念英文啦 I am studying English
英文以后用不到啦 English is useless for you
I FUCK YOU
好困啊啦 Go to sleep
I sleep late because I study English very hard.
谢明和 Hsieh Ming-Ho
八十七分 87%
好 不错不错 Not bad, not bad.
继续努力 Keep it up
张家琪 Chang Chia-Chi
四十四分 44%
家琪要加油喔 Work harder.
柯景腾 Ko Ching-Teng
七十五分 75%
最近有比较用功喔 You have been studying hard lately?
没有啦 天才 Not really, I am a genius.
那都要这样天才喔 Then, be a genius from now on.
好啦 下课 Okay, Class dismiss.
记住 下礼拜还要考试哦 Remember the test next week.
还天才啊 Genius?
真敢讲耶 Are you serious?
其实会解这种题目有什么了不起的 It's not a big deal that you know how to solve these problems
我敢跟你赌 I bet you
十年后我连Log是什么都不知道 in 10 years time, I wouldn't even know what log is
还是可以活得好好的 and it makes no difference to my life.
嗯 Emmmm...
你不相信 You don't believe me?
我相信啊 I do.
相信你还那么用功读书 Then, why do you still work so hard?
人生本来就有很多事是徒劳无功的啊 You don't expect returns from everything you do.
你真的很喜欢学大人讲道理耶 You really like to pitch high notes like adults, don't you?
像你这么幼稚 对你的人生一点帮助也没有 It will be no help to your life whatsoever if you continue to be so childish like this.
你又没做过 How would you know
你怎么知道 if you've never been childish ever?
很多事不用做就知道没有意义啊 You know something is meaningless without trying it.
烂毙了 This is shit.
来 下一队 Next group
听说被僵尸咬到也会变僵尸 I heard you will become a zombie if you are bitten by one
我不相信这件事 I don't buy that.
这件事一定是假的啊 This must be some rumors.
可是我觉得一定是有个依据 他才会讲 But he had to learn this from somewhere, right?
怎么办 What are we going to do?
喂 Hey.
干嘛 What?
你有没有听到 大家最近都在聊的传说啊 Have you heard that rumor lately?
我很帅这件事已经变传说罗 You mean the one that every girl wants to date me?
白痴 Moron.
好啦 干嘛 Okay, what is it?
听说有一批大陆偷渡客 偷渡到一半就淹死了 I heard some stowaways from China were drowned.
尸体被冲上岸后 And they had became zombies
都变成僵尸了耶 after their bodies were washed up on shore.
喔 你说那群僵尸喔 Oh! Those zombies
我知道啊 I've heard about them.
他们就沿路一直跳一直跳一直跳 They jumped, jumped and jumped all the way here.
妈啦 Shit.
那是真的吗 Are you for real?
废话 Of course.
一堆人晚上不睡觉 在山上跳跳跳 With whole bunch of people jumping around up in the hills at night
不是僵尸是什么 what do you think they are?
我记得前几天报纸也有写吧 Yes, I remember seeing that on the newspaper a few days ago.
如果他们努力一点的话 If they jumped harder
现在应该已经跳到八卦山了 they should have reached Baguashan Mountain by now.
怎样 要去看吗 So, do you want to see them?
谁要去看啊 No way
可是就算是真的 要看也看不到吧 I don't think you can see them even if they are real.
说不定他们在八卦山上迷了路 Maybe they got lost in Baguashan Mountain
就直接跳进彰化市区了啊 and jumped directly into Changhua city.
别说不可能 Don't think it's impossible.
僵尸又没有方向感 Zombies don't have a sense of direction.
干嘛 What?
你最近跟沈佳宜好像很有话聊 You and Shen Chia-Yi seem to have a lot to talk about lately.
帮我一个忙 Do me a favor.
该不会是 No way.
写情书这种烂梗吧 Don't tell me you want to write a love letter?
你写好 You write it
我照抄 and I copy it
可是一瓶饮料好像不够耶 I don't think one drink is enough
帮我告白成功的话 if she says yes
我请你一年份 I will buy you one year worth.
加一张Grant Hill 100:1明星赛球员卡 Plus a Grant Hill 100:1 All-Star Card.
好 一言为定 Alright, deal.
柯景腾 Ko Ching-Teng.
你晚上有没有要补习 Are you going to cram school tonight?
补个屁呀 What for?
你这么笨 还不补习 You are so dumb, how can you not go!
你管我 Mind your own business.
今天晚上开始 Starting tonight
你留在学校念书 you stay here and study after school.
晚上留校 Stay at school?
有没有搞错啊 What's your problem?
我也会留啊 I will stay, too.
哪招啊 What the hell?
原来沈佳宜只要没有补习 It turned out that Shen Chia-Yi stayed behind to study
都会一个人留在学校念书 when she didn't have to go to cram school.
欸 你是不是怕那群偷渡上岸的僵尸跳到这里 So, you asked me to stay behind at school with you
才叫我陪你啊 only because you are afraid of those zombies, right?
我是怕你笨 I am just worried you're getting stupid.
对了 Right.
这里有封信 是老曹叫我拿给你的 Tsao asked me to give you this letter.
我亲爱的沈佳宜同学 My dear Shen Chia-Yi
我很喜欢你 I like you very much.
俗话说： As the song goes:
（没有什么可以改变我对你的爱） Nothing's gonna change my love for you.
（让爱凭空而生） Making love out of nothing at all
勉强可以表达我对你的感觉 barely expresses my feelings for you.
这是你的字耶 This is your handwriting.
柯景腾 Ko Ching-Teng
我不得不说耶 I must say
你写情书的文笔 真的很差耶 you suck at writing love letters.
哪可能 What do you mean?
明明就写得气势非凡好不好 I am that close to William Shakespeare, okay?
有时间帮人家写情书啊 Since you have the time to write love letters for someone else.
不如用这些时间拿去背单字 Why don't you use the time to memorize some English vocabulary?
说真的 Ok.
虽然我很帅 人聪明 又会讲笑话 Even though I am cute, smart and incredibly humorous
但你不要轻易的喜欢上我 don't fall in love with me easily.
因为我是孤独的 风中一匹狼 Because I am a lone wolf traveling in the wild wind.
谢谢喔 Oh, thanks
我又不喜欢比我笨的男生 I'm not interested in guys who are dumber than me.
沈佳宜不喜欢比她笨的男生 Shen Chia-Yi doesn't like guys that are dumber than her.
笨 Dumb?
我是怕抢了你全校第一名的头衔 Come on, I let you win on purpose
才一直忍你 让你 I don't study hard cause I don't want to beat you
故意输给你 好不好 and I don't want to hurt your feelings!
这怎么好意思啊 Pardon me.
拜托你不用这么忍耐 Save your kindness, mister. You are welcome to try to beat me anytime!
敢不敢 跟我打一个赌 I dare you to bet with me.
赌 Let's bet on...
头发 Your hair.
怎么赌 How?
如果你月考考赢我的话 If you beat me in the next midterm
你要怎么整我都可以 you can do whatever you want to me.
但如果我考赢你的话 But, if I won
你要绑一个月的马尾 you will have to wear a ponytail for a month.
随便啊 Sure, whatever.
反正又不可能 It's not like you would win anyway!
这种超鸡巴的自信 我又被电到了 I was struck by her cocky confidence right away.
喂 Hey, you.
三更半夜不睡觉 Why on earth you need to study freaking English
背什么死人骨头英文 in the middle of the night?
I fuck you
I fuck you too
I fuck your mother.
你干嘛 干嘛啦 What's wrong with you?
Fuck you fuck you
I love you
I LOVE YOU
老板 Hey, Ma'am.
来碗超帅的光头 A super hot and charming jar head, please.
三八啦 光头哪有帅的 Idiot, how can a jar head be handsome?
有啦 Of course there is.
不信你剪剪看 Give it a try if you don't believe me.
不欠你啦 Here, I don't owe you any more.
不要弄啦 Stop that.
我在补习班听说 Rumor has it that Inoue Takehiko has died a couple weeks ago!
井上雄彦啊 前几个礼拜出车祸死了 I heard that he died in a car accident.
是喔 Really.
难怪我感觉他画风有点变 No wonder I felt something was different in his drawing style.
突然变强而已 这种天才怎么可能说死就死啊 More powerful that is, how can such a genius die just like that.
你觉不觉得 Don't you think...
觉得怎样 Think What?
你觉不觉得沈佳宜有点喜欢我 Don't you think Shen Chia-Yi likes me?
不然今天怎么绑马尾 If not, why would she wear a ponytail today?
也许喔 Maybe!
沈佳宜怎么知道我喜欢绑马尾的女生啊 How did Shen Chia-Yi know I like girls who wear ponytails?
是吗 You too?
我一直一直都很喜欢绑马尾的女生啊 I always like girls who wear ponytails.
我也是 So do!
我不知道沈佳宜为什么赢了还要绑马尾 I don't know why Shen Chia-Yi wore a ponytail that day even though she won the bet.
但从此以后 However, ever since then
努力用功读书竟然变成一件非常热血的事 studying hard had become an enthusiastic thing for me.
几千块钱的班费 不见了 The class funds went missing.
第六节课的时候 班长检查还在 It was still here when the class leader checked about an hour ago.
现在要放学了 Now school is almost finished.
偷钱的人 还会有谁 Who else could have stolen that money?
一定是你们班上自己的同学 It must be someone sitting in this classroom!
把钱偷走的再不自首的话 Whoever stole that money, you better turn yourself in right now.
就不要怪教官不客气 Otherwise, don't blame me for being too harsh afterwards.
好 Fine.
不敢承认也没有关系 It's okay if no one wants to admit it
反正这个小偷 就在你们这个班上 I guarantee that the thief is sitting right here in this room.
他一定觉得自己很聪明 The person must thinks that he can get away with this.
好 Good
很好 very good.
现在每一个人把纸笔拿出来 Now, take out your pen, everyone.
写下你认为可能是小偷的人的名字 And write down the name of the person that you think it's most likely to be the thief.
投票结果前三名 The top three named
把书包倒在讲台上 让我检查 will have to bring your bags forward, and I will check them personally.
立刻 Now!
马上把随堂测验纸拿出来 Take out your paper right now.
曹国胜 Tsao Kuo-Sheng.
你干什么 What are you doing?
教官 Sir.
你凭什么叫我们怀疑自己的同学 Who do you think you are to have us suspect our own classmates?
我是教官 还是你是教官 Now who is the supervisor? Are you or am I?
你是教官 You are, sir.
但你是个烂人啦 But you are an ass hole!
你说什么 What did you say?
我说你烂人 I said you are an asshole.
柯景腾 曹国胜 Ko Ching-Teng, Tsao Kuo-Sheng
我看你们两个是做贼心虚 I think you guys are bluffing
把你们的书包给我拿过来 第一个检查 bring your bags now and I will check yours first.
报告教官 Excuse me, Sir.
你不可以这样 You have no right to do that
不可以怎么样 I have no right to do what?
不可以叫我们投这种票 You can't ask us to write down names and vote on such a thing.
不可以叫我们怀疑自己的同学 You can't ask us to suspect our own classmates.
大不了大家再把钱缴一次就好了 We can just all pay the fees again.
这也没什么 It's no big deal.
对啊 Exactly.
再缴一次就好了嘛 We can just pay again.
你不要以为你成绩好 说什么都没有关系 Being an honor student doesn't mean that you can say whatever you want.
把你的书包拿过来 Bring your bag over here.
我们不要 No way.
我们又不是小偷 We are not thieves.
烂人 Douche.
你说什么 What did you say?
烂人啦 I said you are a douchebag.
统统把书包给我拿过来 Bring your bags over now, all of you.
不要 No.
教官 Sir
我现在合理的怀疑你没有小鸡鸡 I now suspect that you have no balls.
裤子脱下 Take your pants off now.
你说什么 What did you say?
裤子脱下啦 Take your pants off.
把书包拿过来 Bring your bags over.
要就给你啦 Fine, here you go!
你们不要一直看我 Stop staring at me.
我觉得很丢脸 It's very embarrassing. I feel so ashamed.
一点都不丢脸啊 There is nothing to be ashamed of.
你超厉害的耶 You kicked ass!
半蹲不用太认真啦 Don't need to be too serious about this.
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi.
稍微休息一下 Relax a bit.
蹲个意思意思就好了啊 Just pretend, it's no big deal.
反正那些老师根本没在看 Those teachers are not watching anyway.
偶尔当一下坏学生 很爽的 It's kind of nice to be a bad student once in a while, isn't it?
好丢脸 I am so ashamed.
认识你从国中到现在 Ever since I knew you from junior high
刚刚是我唯一觉得你比我厉害的时候 that was the only time I was amazed by how tough you really are.
沈佳宜 你超正点的耶 Shen Chia-Yi, you rock!
哭起来也超正的 You look so pretty even when you cry.
对啊 Yeah.
超正的 Super duper cool.
令人刮目相看 Unbelievably cool.
不像考卷 所有复杂困难的问题都能得到一个解答 Unlike quizzes
真实人生里有些事永远也没有答案 you never find a correct answer in life.
到底是谁偷了班费 没有人知道 No one really knew who stole our money, but no one really cared.
只记得 那天的沈佳宜真的 All I remembered from that day was Shen Chia-Yi's face
好美 好美 beautifully and delicately engraved in my heart.
六年前 刚刚踏进精诚中学国中部的时候 Six years ago, when we first stepped in to Jing-Cheng high school
十二岁的我们懵懵懂懂 we were all young and immature.
虽然对于未来有无限的想像 Although we had great dreams about our future
却不知道能在这里学习到什么 收获到什么 we weren't really sure what we were going to learn and encounter during these years.
幸好一路上有师长的谆谆教诲 Thanks to the teachers who led us and furnished us with abundant knowledge.
同学们也建立了深厚的情谊 Thanks to all the peers who accompanied us throughout the years
一起经历困难挫折 也一起携手成长 with bitter and sweet memories.
我说 精诚中学就是我们的青春 Ching-Chen high school represents our young and crazy days
也是最美好的行囊 it gave us the most wonderful times of our life.
毕业典礼后 From now on
让我们用力的张开翅膀 飞向各自不同的梦想 it's time for us to spread our wings and chase our dreams.
各位同学 So long, my friends.
我们珍重再见 So long, my friends.
真羡慕你 How I envy you.
国中三年 高中三年 都有这么多人追你 You have so many guys chasing after you throughout the years!
被喜欢其实是很不错 Yes, it's quite nice to be liked by someone.
但是 But...
你该不会想说被这么多人追 其实很困扰吧 Don't tell me that you feel annoyed because you are too popular.
不是啦 No
我只是觉得 自己是个很幸福的人 I just think that I am a very lucky girl.
那你决定好了吗 So, have you decided?
决定什么 Decided what?
决定跟谁在一起啊 Decided whom you want to be with.
干嘛啊 连我都不能说喔 Come on, you can't even tell me?
如果… Ok, if...
…我会很高兴的 I will be really happy.
毕业快乐 Happy graduation.
终于 联考了 Finally, the colleague entrance exam came.
对我来说 联考好像不是去考大学 To me, the exam was more like a test for Shen Chia-Yi's special training programs
而是验收沈佳宜对我的特训成果 rather than an exam for college.
升大学前 最后一个夏天的主题 是咸咸的海水 We spent most of our time at the beach during the summer before college.
真的很幼稚 They are so childish
超幼稚的 I know, so childish.
你应该不太喜欢幼稚的男生吧 You don't really like childish guys, do you?
嗯 No.
那你觉得里面谁最幼稚 Who do you think is the most childish one among them all.
柯腾吧 Ko-Teng, maybe?
那我呢 How about me?
你很幼稚耶 You are so childish.
毕业了耶 Now that we have graduated
你们有没有想过以后要干嘛 have you thought about what you want to do in the future?
我想去科学园区上班 I want to work in the Hsinchu Science and Industrial Park
分股票 赚大钱 so I can get stocks for bonuses and tons of money.
然后娶沈佳宜 And then I can marry Shen Chia-Yi...
或胡家玮 or Hu Chia-Wei.
谁要嫁给你啊 Who wants to marry you?
我想出国念书耶 I want to study abroad.
你出国很浪费钱啦 It'll be such a waste of money, okay?
你靠腰哦 Oh, fuck off.
出国念书 Study abroad?
我也想出国念书 I want to study abroad, too.
去申请公费留学 念MBA Maybe I will apply for government scholarships and get an MBA degree
我想一直打篮球下去 打进校队 I want to keep on playing basketball.
最后打进美国职篮 And maybe one day make my way to NBA.
家玮呢 What about you, Chia-Wei?
我啊 Me?
找个有钱人嫁掉就好啦 I think I will find myself a rich man to marry.
干你屁事 Go away.
沈佳宜咧 What about you, Shen Chia-Yi?
我对自己的未来 其实没有太多想像 I don't expect much about my future, really.
还有一个人还没说耶 Ko-Teng, it's your turn
我想成为一个很厉害的人 I want to be a kickass person.
你这有说跟没说根本一样嘛 What are you talking about?
怎样才是厉害的人啊 What is a kickass person?
让这个世界因为有了我 而有一点点的不一样 I want the world to be a little bit better because of me.
而我的世界 不过就是你的心 And you are the only person that is going to make my world better.
喂 干嘛 Hello. Yes?
我只会念书 I am a nerd
我只会念书 I am a bookworm.
从国中到高中 Ever since junior high and high school.
我就只会念书 All I did was studying
却还是考不好 I still screwed it up.
不管你念哪间学校 No matter which university you go to
有件事 我想跟你说 there is something that I want to say to you.
拜托你 Please.
不要现在跟我讲你喜欢我 Don't tell me you like me now
我喜欢你 I do like you
你早就知道了啊 and you knew that already.
那你要跟我说什么啦 What do you want to tell me, then?
联考放榜了 The results were out.
阿和考上了清大经济 A-Ho got into Economics Major in National Tsing Hua University
朝未来出国留学的路迈进 which means he made one step forward to his overseas dream.
该边考上了逢甲资工 Groin got into Information Engineering at Feng Chia University
也算是踏上了科学园区之路 to become one of those Science Park smart engineers.
老曹呢 考上了成大化工 Tsao got into Chemical Engineering at Cheng Kung University.
看样子以后要去美国职篮是有一点难度 So I guess it's most unlikely that he would make it into NBA.
沈佳宜虽然失常 Although Shen Chia-Yi didn't do as well as she expected
但还是考上了师范学院 she still got into University of Education
想到将来沈佳宜当老师的样子 就觉得非常适合她 I could totally imagine Shen Chia-Yi being a teacher, it really suits her.
送你 Here, for you.
这什么 What is this?
我自己画的 I drew it myself.
有点丑 Not my best work
不过还可以 but I think it's okay.
谢谢罗 Thanks.
沈佳宜 上大学以后 Shen Chia-Yi, promise me something.
不要太快让别的男生追到你 Don't let boys get you too soon after you go to college.
好不好 Ok?
你在说什么啊 What are you talking about?
喔 对了 还有勃起 Oh, yes, as for the masturbating Boner.
一直打手枪的勃起 重考 He decided to stay and take the college entrance exam again.
重考 重考 陪我重考啦 Take the entrance exam next year with me please!
我也来到人生的下一站 I have also come to the next stage in my life
一间没有沈佳宜的大学 a school without Shen Chia-Yi
没想到我第一个牵手的女孩 不是沈佳宜 I never thought that Shen Chia-Yi would not be the first girl that I hold hands with.
而是 而是一个叫 Instead of her, it was a girl named...
叫什么 Named...
你好 我叫许可欣 Hello, my name was Hsu Ke-Shin.
你好 我叫柯景腾 Hi, my name is Ko Ching-Teng.
宿舍有很多奇奇怪怪的传说 There were many weird stories in the dormitory.
大部分都跟鬼有关 Most of them were ghost stories.
不过 But
其中有一个跟四脚兽有关的传说 there's one story about a four-legged beast.
绝对是真的 It was definitely real...
我的室友来自四面八方 My roommates came from all walks of life.
孝纶是个肌肉狂 整天举哑铃 Hsiao-Lun was a muscle maniac, who did nothing but lifted weights all day long.
超级宅的义智 The ultimate weirdo is Yi-Chi.
随时都在看动漫 几乎不去上课 He was never in the classroom because he's always reading Manga.
从大一就开始准备考研究所的建汉 Chien-Han, who started to prepare for graduate school from the day he arrived
无时无刻都在念书 was studying twenty four seven.
幸好 我们还有共通的话题 Luckily, we had some common interests to talk about.
是不是 饭岛爱太老了 See, Iijima Ai is way too old.
奶头都黑掉了 Her tits have turned dark.
小泽圆看起来比较可口 Emmm... Madoza Ozawa looks hotter and yummier
大浦安娜也不错 Anna Ohura is not too bad, either
我那边有个叫人类补奸计划的好东西 I have some nice stuff called the Human Sex Program.
等一下一起看啊 Let's watch it together later.
看卡通人物做爱 也太奇怪了吧 Don't you think it's too weird to watch cartoon characters having sex?
还有跟狗 还有跟鳗鱼的咧 There're ones with dogs and eels, too.
那是手机还没普及的年代 That was the time before mobile phones were common.
到了晚上一堆男生就像集体中邪一样 At night, all the guys acted like they casted a spell.
在公共电话前大排长龙 Everyone one of us was lining up in front the telephone booth
小可爱 我好想你喔 I miss you so much my sweetie little pumpkin pie
每个小时都固定想你十次啊 I miss you 10 times every hour on a regular basis.
真的啊 It's true.
那你有没有好想我 So do you miss me this much, too?
一个小时想几次 How many times per hour?
有没有十次 10 times at least?
喂 Hey.
喂 你还没睡吧 You are not asleep yet, are you?
还没啊 No, not yet.
快睡啦 Go to sleep
每天晚上我都跟沈佳宜讲电话 I talked to Shen Chia-Yi every night.
有时讲到她睡着 Sometimes, she fell asleep in the middle of our conversations.
有时讲到我连吃饭的钱都用光光 Sometimes I spent all my money on phone calls and left no money for food.
迎新晚会下礼拜啊 Welcome party? Next week.
下礼拜 Next week.
那我跟你说喔 Listen.
你可不可以不要下去跳舞 Can you please not dance with anyone?
不要下去跳舞 为什么 Why not?
因为 Because...
虽然我还没追到你啊 Ok, I know we are not seeing each other yet.
不过那些追都没追过你的男生 But those guys who you don't even know.
怎么可以牵你的手 Can you not let them hold your hands?
我自己都没牵过耶 I haven't even held them myself.
那你呢 What about you?
你没下去跳啊 You didn't dance with anyone?
我就不相信你没有牵其他女生的手 I don't believe you didn't hold any girl's hands.
是有稍微牵一下啦 Oh, well... yeah, but only a little bit.
不过那是因为 That's because...
我把对方想成你啊 I imagined that she was you.
你少恶心了 我才不相信咧 Oh please, I don't believe you.
真的啦 Really.
那我也可以把对方想成是你啊 Then I can also imagine the guy I dance with was you.
不要闹啦 No man, I'm for real.
好啦 说真的喔 All right, I am serious.
不可以被牵喔 Don't let anyone hold your hands.
嗯 掰掰 Bye.
终于上大学后的第一个圣诞节来了 Finally, it was the first Christmas after we entered college.
喂 Hey.
我们这样算约会吗 Is this considered a date?
干嘛问我 Why ask me?
台北怎么那么冷 Why is it so cold in Taipei?
换我换我 快点 Hurry up, my turn for a picture!
快点啦 快走了 Hurry up! It's leaving.
没有拍到 Oops, I didn't get it.
你 You.
不要跑 Come back.
柯景腾 Ko Ching-Teng.
你真的很喜欢我吗 Do you really like me a lot?
喜欢啊 Yes, I do.
很喜欢啊 Very much
我总觉得你把我想得太好了 I always feel that you give me too much credit
我根本没有你想的那么好 I'm not as good as you think
你喜欢我 让我觉得有点怪怪的 I feel weird about the fact that you like me.
哪里奇怪 What's so weird about it?
我也会有你不知道的一面啊 There is another side of me that you don't know about
在家里我也会很邋遢 I am very sloppy at home.
嗯… Emm...
也会有起床气 I get very grumpy when I wake up early.
也会因为一点小事就跟我妹发脾气 And I get pissed off with my little sister at times just for minor stuff
我就 I am... you know.
很普通啊 Very ordinary.
说不定你喜欢上的 Maybe, the person that you like
只是你想像出来的我 is in your imagination
我没那么会想像 I am not that imaginative.
真的 Look.
你仔细想想 Think carefully.
你有那么喜欢我吗 Do you like me that much?
喜欢啊 Hell yeah.
你很幼稚耶 You are so childish.
你都没有仔细想 You didn't even think through it.
你想好再跟我说 Think about it carefully before you tell me.
沈佳宜是什么意思呢 What did Shen Chia-Yi mean?
她是不是想委婉的拒绝我呢 Was she trying to turn me down in a nice way?
我很害怕 I was afraid.
一直以来 我都以为我自己是个超有自信的人 For a long time, I always thought that I am a confident guy.
但那时我才发现 At that moment, I realized that
原来在喜欢的女孩面前 我是个胆小鬼 I was really a coward in front of the girl I liked.
你许什么愿啊 What do you wish for?
自己写自己的 不可以偷看 Write your own, no peeking.
这么小气 Come on, I just want to have a look.
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi
我很喜欢你 I like you very much
非常喜欢你 I like you a lot.
总有一天 我一定要追到你 One day you will be mine.
百分之一千万 一定会追到你 One day, I will make you mine.
你想知道答案吗 Do you want to know the answer?
我现在就可以告诉你 I can tell you right now.
不要 No
我没有问你 I didn't ask you.
所以你也不可以拒绝我 So you can't turn me down.
你真的不想知道 You really don't want to know?
拜托不要现在告诉我 Please don't tell me now.
请让我 继续喜欢你 Just let me keep on liking you.
每一个男生都想在自己心上人面前 Every guy wants to show his strongest side.
展现自己最强的一面 Especially in front of the girl he likes.
而我又应该展现什么给沈佳宜看呢 So what should I show to Shen Chia-Yi?
我想了很久 终于有一天我悟出了答案 It took me a long time before the answer suddenly hit me one day.
你就去厕所尿尿 是会怎样啊 Why can't you just go pee in the toilet?
很远耶 Man, it's far.
你要出门啊 Hey, are you going out?
顺便帮我拿去倒一下 Empty this for me on your way out, will you?
有没有搞错啊 You fucking serious?
帮同学倒尿 也是友情的… Come on, just do me a favor...
你们不觉得 Don't you guys think.
是时候战斗了吗 It's time to battle?
我们来 Come on.
打架吧 Let's fight
我要办比赛 I am organizing a competition.
有没有人要参加的 Anyone wants to join me?
有没有人要参加比赛 Anyone wants to join the competition?
有没有人要打架的 Anyone wants to fight?
我有办打架比赛 Fighting competition, anyone?
要不要参加比赛 Do you want to fight in a competition?
要不要参加格斗比赛 Do you want to fight in a combat tournament?
有没有人要打架 Anyone wants to fight?
有没有人要 Anyone wants to join?
我可以 看完吗 Can I stay until you guys finish?
一般运动有什么了不起 What's the big deal with the regular sports?
当然自由格斗比较屌啊 Combat is definitely cooler.
真的啦 你一定要来看喔 Seriously, you have to be here
我刚已经贴出海报了 I just put out posters.
到时候一定大爆满 It's going to be a full house.
你为什么要办这么危险的比赛 Why do you want to organize such a dangerous competition?
你们学校都不用念书的吗 Don't you guys need to study and look after your marks?
就是因为大家都只会念书 Exactly! People study way too hard.
所以才需要运动一下 That's why they need to exercise
我要帮他们特训 I want to give them some trainings.
还不就是打架 It's just a fight.
这么说 也可以啦 Fine, if you really want to put it that way
有时候 我真的很不了解你 I really don't get you sometimes.
简单啦 You can nail this easily
我以为大学里都是娘炮 I thought everyone in college was a pussy
我错了 I was wrong.
有个硬汉叫建伟 There was a tough guy named Chien-Wei.
他是胎拳社的副主将 黑带 He was the second chair of the taekwondo club, a black belt.
看起来很臭屁 He looked cocky.
看起来很强 And he looked tough.
正合我意 Just the kind of guy that I was looking for.
比照天下第一武道大会的规定 We follow the rules of the highest martial arts order in the world.
不可以杀死对方 No killing.
不可以出界 You cannot go outside of the boundaries.
不可以踢小鸡鸡 No kicking on penises.
倒地后数到十没有爬起来也算输 You lose if you are knocked down and unableto get up after the referee counts to 10.
预备 Ready!
穿上 Put it on.
三小啊 What the hell?
穿上它 我才敢打你 Wear it so I know I won't kill you.
穿你的屁股啦 Go fuck yourself.
开始 Go
我要杀死你 I am going to kill you.
快 羚羊拳 Punch him with Gazelle punch.
站起来 Stand up.
柯腾 Ko-Teng.
赶快啦 Hurry up.
快反击 Fight back.
柯腾 快反击 Ko-Teng, fight back.
打他的肝脏 Beat him up.
站起来 打他 起来 Stand up and beat him, stand up.
1…2…3…4…5…6…7… One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven.
柯腾 站起来 Ko-Teng stand up.
你再不起来 Stand up now.
我就要数完了耶 Time is running out.
柯腾 Ko-Teng.
快反击 Fight back.
那谁 好正喔 Who is that? She's so hot.
刚刚比赛结束的时候 我都没有看到你 Hey! I didn't see you when the game was over
我还以为被打昏了耶 I thought I was knocked out...
你刚刚有看到那男的吗 Did you see that guy?
他超厉害的耶 He kicked my ass so bad
我一直闪不开他的脚 I couldn't get away from him.
很好玩吗 Was it fun?
还不错啊 Not bad!
你来看 我超开心的耶 I was so excited when I saw you!
我问你 很好玩吗 Answer my question, was it fun?
干嘛啦 Now what?
你办这什么奇怪的比赛啊 Why did you insist on organizing such a weird competition?
你办这比赛的意义到底在哪里 What's the meaning of it?
你不觉得很炫吗 Don't you think it's super cool?
两个男人之间 一定要分出胜负那种… That kind of... win or lose between two men.
还不就是打架 It's just violence.
柯景腾 Ko Ching-Teng.
你特地办一个比赛把自己搞受伤 You organized a game to get yourself hurt.
你怎么会这么幼稚啊 Why are you so childish?
幼稚 Childish?
对 就是幼稚 Right, childish.
很幼稚 Very childish.
我问你 Let me ask you something.
你办这奇怪的比赛 到底让你学到什么 What exactly did you learn from this game?
学 "Learn"?
不见得做什么事情都一定要学到什么吧 Why do I have to learn something from everything that I do?
至少让你学到了 办这种比赛会受伤 At least you learned that having a competition like this will get yourself hurt.
而受这种伤一点必要都没有 And it is totally unnecessary.
你真的很幼稚 You are so childish.
你身上的伤 我只能说是你活该 See those bruises on your face? You deserve it
我幼稚 I am childish?
你知不知道这格斗赛对我来说是很棒的经验啊 Do you know this competition is a fantastic experience for me?
你可不可以单纯替我高兴就好啊 Can't you just be happy for me?
你以后还要办这种比赛 So you are going to do it again?
当然要办啊 Of course I will do it again.
为什么不办 Why not?
幼稚 Grow up will you?
你为什么总要否定对我很重要的东西呀 Why do you always look down on things that matter to me?
对你很重要的东西 竟然是让你伤害你自己吗 Things that matter to you are things that hurt you?
对啦 Fine
我就是幼稚 I am childish.
才会追你这种努力用功读书的女生 And that's why I would go after such a good school girl like you
我就是幼稚 才有办法追你这么久 I am this naive so I could chase you for so long.
那你就不要追了啊 Stop trying then.
笨蛋 Idiot.
对啦 我就是笨蛋啦 Right! I am an idiot.
大笨蛋 Moron.
大笨蛋才能追你那么久 Only a moron can keep on trying to chase after you for such a long time.
你什么都不懂 You don't understand anything.
我就是什么都不懂啦 No, I don't understand anything.
成长 最残酷的部份就是 The cruelest part in “growing up” The cruelest part in “growing up”
女孩永远比同年龄的男孩成熟 is that girls are always more mature than guys of the same age.
女孩的成熟 没有一个男孩招架得住 No guys can handle girls at their age.
大吵一架 What? A big fight?
所以这次吵完架就不会在一起了喔 Does that mean you are not going to be a couple after this?
你有什么毛病啊 What's your problem?
真的假的 不打算和好 For real? Not plans of making up?
也就是说我有机会罗 Oh yes, so I have a chance now?
老曹自以为热血 Tsao took off right away on his motorcycle
骑着摩托车从台南直接冲到台北 and rode from Tainan to Taipei.
准备跟沈佳宜告白 He was ready to confess his love to Shen Chia-Yi.
阿和则买了最近一班的火车票 A-Ho, on the other hand, bought a ticket for the next train.
结论是 It turned out that
火车比较快 the train is faster
虽然我们一直很有话聊 I know we have always been good friends.
可是其实我早就知道你喜欢的是柯腾 But somehow I always knew that Ko-Teng is the one.
我一直学不会的事 Being childish is something that
就是你最讨厌的幼稚 I can never learn.
可是每次你骂柯腾幼稚的时候 我都很嫉妒 Even though you said you hate childish guys.
因为其实你骂他幼稚的时候 Every time when you called Ko-Teng childish
真的很漂亮 I can tell how much you likethat childishness in him.
你跟我说这些做什么 Why are you telling me this now?
如果我什么都不做 If I don't do anything now
你们迟早会和好 you guys will get back together eventually.
对不对 Right?
对不起 I am sorry.
这一次我想趁人之危 Since you guys are not in good terms now, I would like to take my chances.
看见那个画面 老曹的机车重新发动继续往前 When Tsao saw A-Ho and Shen Chia-Yi walked across the street, he took off again.
这一次 他不知不觉就绕了台湾整整一圈 This time, he rode his way around the whole island.
老曹绕回台南时 When Tsao made it to Tainan
因为恍神 醒来已经骑到了嘉义 he took the wrong exit so he went straight to Chiayi.
于是老曹干脆又继续往上骑 再接再厉又绕了台湾一圈 Then he thought why not just take another round around Taiwan.
不过这次他在中途停下来载我 This time, he stopped to picked me up.
干嘛 What?
操 Fuck.
干嘛 What do you want?
还手啦 Hit me back.
你以为我想啊 What's your freaking problem?
白痴耶 Idiot?
失恋了 I was heart broken
我失去了沈佳宜 I had lost Shen Chia-Yi.
我的青春 什么都不剩了 There was nothing left in me
失恋那几个月我认识了很多女生 I met quite a lot of girls after I lost Shen Chia-Yi.
只是那些女生的名字清一色都是四个字 It's just that they all happened to be Japanese.
为此我感到相当空虚 For that, I felt there was something missing in my heart.
樱木花道说的好 Sakuragi Hanamichi was right.
左手只是辅助 You can only use one hand, your left hand.
因为右手要拿滑鼠 Because you need your right hand on the mouse.
我们这样每天打手枪 到底有什么意义 What's the point of us masturbating all day long?
意义是虾小 Who cares?
林北只听过精液 As long as I get to ejaculate, who cares!
没听过意义 I am coming, I am coming, I AM COMING!
现在光是大学毕业已经不够 Even though getting a diploma might not be crucial
虽然说学历并不代表一切 but a bachelor degree seems to be not enough
我跟阿和之间有很长一段时间没有联络 I admit that I might be childish, just like how Shen Chia-Yi described me.
面对自己的好朋友 A-Ho has been a really good friend of mine.
却连装一下祝福的语气都觉得勉强 But I just couldn't bring myself to congratulate him.
虽然我们现在念不同的大学 It'd be nice to plan things ahead.
可是我们可以讨论看看研究所的方向 We should start thinking about graduate schools.
如果说你是真的想当老师的话 If you really want to be a teacher.
那我建议你可以去选教育研究所 Then getting a Master of education would be nice.
这样子以后月薪也可以多一点嘛 几千块钱吧至少 At least people will pay you more in the future.
阿和和沈佳宜只在一起短短的五个月 A-Ho was with Shen Chia-Yi for only five months.
不过 那也够让我嫉妒的了 But that was more than enough to make me jealous like hell.
干 有鬼啊 Fuck, what's happening?
靠北啊 Shit.
有鬼啊 有鬼啊 Fuck, what's going on!
快闪啊 闪啊 有鬼啊 有鬼杀来了 Ghost! Ghost! Let's get the hell out of here!
鬼在哪里 鬼在哪里 Shit... ghost? Where? Where?
太扯了 This is crazy, man!
我妈妈说 我家附近的旅馆整个倒下来 My mom just called and said that the hotel next to my house just collapsed.
你家不是在台北吗 You are from Taipei, aren't you?
震央在台北 So the epicenter is in Taipei?
这里人太多了 基地台超载 It's too crowded here, the system is probably overloaded.
人少的地方搞不好才会通耶 Try to give it a shot at somewhere less crowded.
这理论对吗 Are you sure?
不知道 I don't know.
喂 Hello.
柯腾啊 Ko-Teng?
我没事 I am safe, don't worry.
可街上都是人耶 Everyone is out on the street, though.
吓死我了 Thank god
我刚听说震央在台北 I heard that the epicenter is in Taipei.
整个旅馆都垮下来 And the whole building collapsed
总之 anyway.
你没事就好 Good to hear that you are safe.
谢谢 Thank you.
那 Alright then
没事我就… better go.
我很感动 Wait a minute
真的 I am touched, really.
你感动个头啦 Yeah right.
你可是我追了N年的女生耶 You are the girl that I chased for years!
要是你不见了 Who else is going to share this memory with me
我找谁回忆我们的故事啊 if you are gone.
你还说呢 Hey, come on.
这两年你都没打给我 You didn't even try to contact me in the past two years.
你也没打给我好不好 You didn't call either.
真敢讲 How dare you mention it.
那你最近都在干嘛 So, what have you been doing lately?
没干嘛啊 Nothing much, really.
还不就上课念书 Same old thing, studying.
那你呢 What about you?
你该不会常翘课吧 Still skipping classes?
当然啊 Of course
我本来就不喜欢念书啊 I never liked studying anyway
我是为了你才念的耶 I only studied because of you.
哇 说的这么好听 Wow! So sweet.
那天晚上 我们聊了很多回忆 We had a long chat that night, talking about the old days.
好多好多用功读书 只为了更靠近她的日子 The old days when I tried everything to get closer to her.
那你有男朋友了吗 So, do you have a boyfriend now?
要你管啊 It's none of your business.
我 I...um...
后来跟阿和在一起过 I... was with A-Ho for a while
我知道啊 I know
我有听他说 I heard.
但后来为什么分手 Why did you guys split up?
我一直不想问他 想到就度烂 I didn't want to ask him cause that just made me want to kick his ass.
他对你不好吗 Was he mean to you?
也不是 Not really
我只是觉得 阿和不够喜欢我 I just felt that he didn't like me that much.
阿和很喜欢你 No, A-Ho was crazy about you, head over heels!
被你喜欢过 很难觉得别人有那么喜欢我 Having being loved by you makes it harder for me to feel other's love.
哇 这么感人啊 You are kidding me right?
你不要破坏气氛喔现在 Don't ruin it now.
沈佳宜 Hey, Shen Chia-Yi.
我可不可以问你 Can I ask you a question?
为什么当时没有想要和我在一起啊 Why didn't you want to be with me at that time?
常常听到人家说啊 You know...
恋爱最美好的时候 People always say that the most wonderful time of a relationship
就是暖昧的时候 happens before it really happens.
等到真正在一起了 When two people are together.
很多感觉都会消失不见 The magic vanishes easily.
所以我就想 干脆就让你再追我久一点 So I thought it'd be better if I let you chase me longer.
不然等你追到我之后就变懒了 那我不是很亏吗 Otherwise, if we got together right away, it'd be less fun.
你真的很鸡巴耶 Man, that's slack!
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi.
你相信有平行时空吗 Do you believe in parallel universe?
也许在那个平行时空里 我们是在一起的 Maybe in that universe, we are together.
真羡慕他们啊 How I envy them.
谢谢你喜欢我 Thank you for liking me.
我也很喜欢 Yes.
当年喜欢你的我 Thank you for letting me like you in those years.
你永远是我眼中的苹果 You are always the apple of my eye.
大四了 Then it came to Senior year.
我身边的每一个人都在准备考研究所 Everyone around me was preparing for grad schools
我不晓得我将来想做什么 I had no idea what I wanted to do at that time.
可是每个人都在念书 弄得我很紧张 Everyone was studying so hard and it made me nervous.
只好跟着大家一起跑图书馆 So I decided to join them in the library.
但莫名其妙的 我却开始在网路上写起了小说 And out of the blue, I started to write stories on my blog.
老曹退伍后没去美国打NBA Tsao didn't make his way to NBA.
反而跑去二手车厂卖车 He ended up selling second hand cars.
他是天生好手 And it turned out he's pretty good at it.
平均每两天就可以卖出一台车 On average, he sells one car every other day.
吓死人了 Unbelievable.
引擎声 它骗不了人的 The engine never lies.
来 Here.
你的右脚轻踩一下油门 Put your foot on the gas gently.
是不是 还没改喔 Hear that sound?
还没改之前 它的声线就已经非常的饱满 It's this powerful before we upgrade it, can you imagine if we do?
当它上路之后 转速到达两千TURBO I bet it is going to run over 2000 rpm when it hits the road.
马力可说是随传随到 The horsepower is beyond your imagination.
怎么样啊 喜欢吧 What do you think? You like it?
喜欢 I like it.
喜欢的话 我们上路开一段怎么样 Well then, how about we take this beast out for a ride?
好 Okay.
GO GO
该边考上了公务员 Groin passed the government worker's exam.
在永和市立图书馆当行政课员 He is now working as a librarian.
每天都在骗无知的小美眉 Which he gets to play perform magic to young innocent girls every day.
同学 看清楚这本书 吹口气吧 See this book? Blow on it.
看仔细喔 Now, pay attention.
你神经病啊 Are you nuts?
给我站住 Stop there.
阿和那个胖子在当保险业务 A-Ho became an insurance sales man.
很喜欢开车的他 He loves driving his car.
平均一天有十二个小时都待在车上 虽然有点狼狈 Every day he spends about 12 hours in it, even though it's tough
但他一定会成功的 I do believe he will succeed one day.
毕竟他可是我们之间唯一追到过沈佳宜的人啊 After all he is the only person who has officially dated Shen Chia-Yi.
喂 李先生吗 Hello, is this Mr. Lee?
是是 我是 Yes, speaking.
对啊 就是上次跟您提过的那个寿险型保单喔 Hi, remember the insurance plan that I talked to you about last time?
我已经把资料都准备好了 I have already gathered all the information for you.
那是不是跟您约个时间到您公司去跟您做个详细的说明 Just wondering when is a good time to pay you a visit in your office.
勃起大学毕业后先去当兵 然后立刻飞去美国念硕士 Boner flew to America for graduate school immediately after his military service.
勃起的英文很烂 Boner's English sucked
我真不知道他是哪来的勇气去美国玩大冒险 I don't know how the hell he had the guts to go to the States.
大概真的很想换个国家打手枪吧 Perhaps he wanted to masturbate in a different country.
如果书念不会 就尽管回来 知道吗 If you can't stand it, just come back, understand?
妈 你不要乱讲话啦 Ma, stop talking nonsense
妈妈是跟你说真的啦 I am serious.
你如果书念不好就回来 If it's too hard, then just come back
妈妈不会骂你啦 I will not blame you, I promise.
妈 我知道啦 Fine, I got it.
来跟爸爸说再见一下 Okay, it's dad's turn to say good-bye now.
勃起这一飞 两年又过去了 Two years gone by while Boner was overseas.
对了 还有胡家玮 Oh, yes, and there is Hu Chia-Wei.
那一个只会画智障光头的胡家玮 That girl who always drew retarded stuff in her books.
现在有了另外一个名字 She now has another name.
弯弯 Wan Wan.
所以罗 最后会实现梦想的 So it proves that those who realize their dreams
往往不是最有才华的人 are often not the most clever ones in school.
而是直到最后 也绝不放弃的那一个人 But they are definitely those who persist till the end
我很高兴 我看走眼了 I am very glad that I was wrong.
当勃起把外国学历骗回台湾的时候 When Boner came home with a foreign degree
我接到了一通电话 I received a phone call.
喂 Hello.
喂 老朋友 在忙吗 Hello, old friend, are you busy?
当然忙啊 Of course I am busy
不管 这件事第一个要告诉你 I don't care, there is something that I want you to be the first to know.
怎样 What is it?
有空让我再追你一次啊 You got time for me to go after you again?
这次恐怕不行喔 Not this time, I am afraid.
为什么 Why?
欸 快一点啦 Hurry up!
今天大日子耶 It's a big day today.
欸 你想让新娘子等你一个人喔 You want to make the bride wait for you?
干杯 Cheers.
后悔了吧 Regret it now?
当年我这么好追 你们全都去追沈佳宜啦 I was so available back then, but you guys all went for Shen Chia-Yi.
那我现在追还来得及吗 So does that mean I still have a chance?
你很烂耶 You suck!
其实啊 I got to tell you something
我以前没有认真追过沈佳宜 I wasn't really serious about chasing after Shen Chia-Yi before.
为什么 Why?
因为我看你们大家都追她 I just didn't want to miss out.
所以我才跟着追她的啊 Everyone went after her, so I did, too.
比起我啊 In comparison to me
我真的觉得你们很不要脸耶 I must say, you guys are shameless.
人家现在已经成为别人的新娘子了 She is the bride today, but none of you is the groom.
你们竟然还有脸来参加这个婚礼 How dare you guys show your faces at this wedding.
真的是有够厚脸皮的 Shameless!
许博淳 Hsu Bo-Chun.
我听你在喇叭 Kiss my ass.
喝酒啦 Just drink!
好歹我也曾经追到过好不好 Oh, please, I have dated her, haven't I?
那是诈胡啦 That was a scam.
对啊诈胡啦 Exactly, cheater!
对了 对了 Hey,
我们来打个赌 let's make a bet.
我们猜拳 Let's do paper, scissors stone.
最输的那一个人 The loser
等一下要在新郎新娘进场的时候伸脚 把新郎绊倒 will have to trip the groom when they walk in later.
太突然了啦 超糗的 What the hell was that? It's embarrassing!
你们这样很坏耶 一点都不懂得祝福 You guys are mean. Can't you just show some love to the couple?
你不懂啦 You won't understand.
如果你真的非常喜欢过一个女生 就会知道 If you really like a girl.
要真心祝福她跟别人永远幸福快乐 根本是不可能的事 It is impossible to see her marry to another guy and still bless them.
对啊 That's right.
像我们这种背后放箭的 才叫做真爱 True love means someone should sneak up and stabs the groom in the back.
对 真爱 Correct.
绊死他 Trip him!
我错了 But I am wrong.
原来 当你真的非常非常喜欢一个女孩 In fact, when you really like a girl, you'd be happy for her.
当她有人疼 有人爱 When you see her finding her Mr. Right.
你会真心真意的祝福她 You will want them to be together.
永远幸福快乐 And to live happily ever after.
来 靠近一点喔 Come closer.
再一个 来喔 One more, ready
一二三 来 1, 2, 3, go.
好 OK OK
恭喜 恭喜 新婚愉快 Congratulations, happy marriage.
快快快 Come, quickly
我要在沈佳宜旁边 I want to stand next to Shen Chia-Yi.
我们要拍多一点 We should take more photos.
要拍美一点喔 How do I look? Get a pretty one for me.
好 来喔 来喔 All right. Here it comes.
准备好了 Ready.
来 一二三 来 Ok, one, two, three, go.
再一次喔 来喔来喔来喔 再一次喔 来 One more, one, two, three... done.
OK OK
谢谢 Thank you.
新郎大哥 打个商量 Hey, man, we have a suggestion.
什么商量 About what?
我们红包包这么多 See, the thing is that we have loaded you with cash.
想亲新娘 不知道可不可以耶 Don't you think we have the right to kiss the bride?
新娘说好 我就没问题呀 Well, I am fine if she says fine.
好啊 Well, fine.
想亲新娘可以 Wait a minute, wait a minute.
不过呢 等一下你们要怎样亲新娘 You can kiss the bride.
就要先怎么亲我 But you have to kiss me first.
这样才公平啊 Kiss me the way you want to kiss her, so that's fair.
没听说过来宾要亲新娘 Bullshit!
还要过关斩将的 What kind of rule is that?
对啊 Yeah, no way.
你这样太小气了啦 Don't be stingy.
这样不对啦 That is not right.
那就没办法罗 Well then... sorry.
哈哈哈 你们打的如意算… Ha, ha... Look at yourself, guys.
干嘛啊 What?
昨天谢谢 Thank you for yesterday.
真的假的啦 Are you for real?
还爱心考卷咧 A quiz made out of love...
你错很多耶 You made so many mistakes.
你回去没看参考书就直接写 对不对 You did the problems without reading the exercise book, didn't you?
沈佳宜 Shen Chia-Yi.
你超正点的 You were so cool when you shouted at him.
哭起来也超正的 You look so pretty when you cry, too.
虽然我还没追到你 Even though we are not seeing each other yet.
不过 那些追都没追过你的男生 But those guys who you don't even know.
怎么可以牵你的手 Can you not let them hold your hands?
我自己都没牵过 I haven't even held them myself.
你特地办个比赛 把自己搞受伤 You held this game and got yourself hurt.
你怎么会这么幼稚啊 How can you be so childish?
幼稚 Childish?
就是幼稚 Yes, childish.
很幼稚 Very childish and totally immature.
笨蛋 Idiot.
对啦 我就是笨蛋啦 Yes, I am an idiot.
大笨蛋 Moron.
大笨蛋才会追你这么久 Only a moron can keep on trying to chase you for such a long time.
你什么都不懂 You don't understand anything.
我就是什么都不懂啦 You're right, I don't!
对不起 Sorry
是我太幼稚了 I was the immature one.
其实会解这种题目有什么了不起的 Being able to solve these tricky math questions does not help anything in life!
我敢跟你赌 You want to bet?
十年后我连LOG是什么都不知道 I won't even know what “log” means ten years later.
还是可以活得好好的 And it doesn't make my life any harder.
嗯 Emmmm.
你不相信 You don't believe me
我相信啊 I do believe you.
相信还那么用功读书 Then, why do you still work so hard?
人生本来就有很多事是徒劳无功的啊 You don't expect returns from everything you do.
你想知道答案吗 Do you want to know the answer?
如果柯景腾跟我告白的话 我会很高兴的 If Ko Ching-Teng comes and confesses to me I will be very happy.
沈 佳 宜 Shen Chia-Yi
我 喜 欢 你 I like you very much.
真羡慕他们呢 How I envy them.
谢谢你喜欢我 Thank you for liking me.
那我就继续幼稚下去罗 Well then, I am just going to keep on acting childish.
一定要喔 Sure, why not!
洋基耶 Hey, Yankees.
真的耶 Yeah!
阿建 A- Chian.
柯腾 Hey, Ko-Teng.
你有没有想过把我们的故事写成小说啊 Have you thought about writing our story?
早就想啦 Of course I did!
只是还想不到书名 不知道怎么开头 I just haven't come up a good name to start with.
我打手枪那件事可不可以不要写 Hey, can you leave out the part which I was masturbating?
一定写 Sorry man... that has to be in the story.
如果你真的要写的话 If you really are going to write it.
记得把我写帅一点啊 Don't forget to let your readers know how handsome I am.
顺便帮我征女友 By the way, can you put in some dating advertisements for me, too!
拜托 你不是要追弯弯 Come on, I thought you are going after Wan Wan?
都追啦 Haha, doesn't really matter.