《老妈老爸浪漫史》第二季第十一集
好的 哪一件适合穿去和我性感的男朋友一起 Okay. Which one of these says "sexy weekend away
去他性感的别墅度过一个性感的周末呢 with my sexy boyfriend at his sexy country house?"
左还是右 Left or right?
姐 建议不穿 Girl, just be naked.
天 你好酷 God, you're cool.
我好兴奋啊 I'm so excited.
我终于找到了一个超棒的男朋友 I finally found an amazing, uncomplicated guy?
这段恋情的所有事都很正常 Everything about this relationship is normal.
我错了 I was wrong.
所以 你和斯威什最近怎么样了 So, what's the latest with Swish?
你和你童养夫的婚约还在吗 You still engaged to your child groom?
目前还在 Currently, yes,
但在他临阵退缩之前 我给了他二十四小时 but I give it 24 hours before he gets cold feet and calls it off.
她也错了 She was wrong.
他现在可能在他宿舍里待着 He's probably in his dorm right now
思考怎么委婉地让我失望 figuring out how to let me down gently.
我需要你把奶奶的订婚戒指寄过来 I need you to send me Grandma's engagement ring.
大错特错 Very, very wrong.
特大好消息 Wonderful news!
今天是失物招领日 It's Lost and Found Day.
真的吗 这箱子这么快就满了 Really? The box is full already?
是的 失物招领日规则 Yes. Lost and Found Day rules!
上次我拿到了雪儿·克罗的磁带 Last time, I got a Sheryl Crow cassette,
Sheryl Crow 雪儿·克罗 美国著名创作歌手
一包糖粉 还有个狗嘴套 a packet of Fun Dip, and a muzzle.
我和瑞秋度过了一个疯狂的夜晚 Rachel and I had a wild night.
噢 我要第一个选 Ooh! Shotgun first pick!
呃 不 这次的顺序确定要 Uh, no. The order is going to be decided
用到我们全新的 by our brand new...
摇奖机 order hopper!
第一个是 The first pick is...
- 杰斯 - 呜哇 - Jesse. - Woo!
怎么会这样 我明明放了十六个写着查理的球 How did that happen? I rigged this thing with 16 Charlie balls.
好吧 Alright...
哇 这个好棒 Whoa! This is awesome!
"给我亲爱的孙子" "To my darling grandson."
哈哈 现在不是你的喽 一边去吧孙子 Ha, ha! Not anymore! Suck it, grandson.
下一位是 The next pick is...
- 瓦伦蒂娜 我到底放了啥 - 耶 - Valentina. What have I done here? - Yes!
《剪与留: 家庭理发完全指南》 Snip and Save: A Complete Guide to Home Haircuts.
哇 太难受了 Wow. That is so sad.
等等 其实这是我的 Wait, actually, that's mine.
我在尽可能地减少开支 I've been doing whatever I can to cut back.
懂了吗 减少开支 Get it? Cut back? Huh?
亲爱的 我们懂 Sweetie, we get it.
- 你需要借点钱吗 - 不管了 给我 - Do you need to borrow money? - Whatever. Hand it over.
没门 根据失物招领日的规则 这是我的了 No way! Per the Lost and Found Day rules, it's mine now.
求你了 我很需要 给 我用表跟你换 Please. I need it back. Here, I-I'll trade you the watch.
你为啥要用一块好表换一本书啊 Why would you trade a nice watch for a book
书的内容一个油管上的视频就讲完了 that should be a YouTube video?
嗯 这本书肯定有什么很特别的地方 Hm. There must be something special about this book.
没错 这个作者 Yeah! There is. Th-The author's...
用极其细致入微的方法来 给头发分层 extremely nuanced approach to... layering.
你好奇怪 我不给你 Yeah, you're being weird. You can't have it!
该死 瓦伦蒂娜 Damn it, Valentina!
好吧 我想为这本书向你发起挑战 Fine. I'd like to challenge you for the book.
噢 自从那次臭名昭著的抢警徽比舞之后 Ooh! We haven't had a challenge
我们还没有过挑战 since that infamous dance-off for that police badge.
那晚我偷偷溜进了很多犯罪现场 I wormed my way onto a lot of crime scenes that night.
叮叮 Ding, ding!
飞往洛杉矶的航班准备起飞了 Our flight to Los Angeles is ready for departure.
嘿哟 我可以躺在那里吗 Hey, yo, can I lay on that?
噢 好 Oh. Um, sure.
- 打扰一下 - 噢对 我不合影 - Excuse me? - Oh, yeah, no selfies.
我想自在一点 I'm just trying to live my life over here.
我没想... 什么 你很出名吗 Oh, I wasn't trying to... What, are you famous?
老哥 我是小吐司 说唱歌手 Bro. I'm Li'l Toasty. The rapper.
很多说唱歌手艺名都是Li'l开头
噢 当然 我只是 Dude, of course, you are. I was just...
抱歉 我只是在装酷 I'm sorry. I was just trying to play it cool.
你介意和我换位置吗 You mind switching seats with me?
我的意思是 像你这种咖位的 I mean, a rapper of your caliber
说唱歌手不该坐在中间 should not be sitting in the middle seat.
你人真好 Blessings.
从下面移过去 Slide under.
然后我就跳了一次大腿舞 And I'm getting a lap dance.
各位乘客请注意 我们想说明... Can I have your attention? We'd like to point out...
谢谢 你救了我一命 Thank you. You're a lifesaver.
不客气 No problem.
你知道他是谁吗 Did you know who he is?
不幸的是 我知道 Sadly, I do.
我的侄子走上了一条不归路 My nephew's on a bad path.
你去洛杉矶做什么 What's in LA?
嗯 我老婆住在那里 你呢 Uh, my wife lives there. You?
我男朋友住在那里 Uh, my boyfriend lives there.
长途跋涉 对吧 Long distance, am I right?
确实 You are.
- 嘿哟 我可以靠你身上吗 - 不行 - Hey, yo, can I lay on that? - No!
嗯 好喝 Mm... Delicious.
我的结论是 不要去乔氏超市买东西 I'm getting notes of not from Trader Joe's.
你知道我还有什么吗 You know what else I got?
我亲手做的猪包毯 Homemade pigs in a blanket
猪包毯即夹有香肠的薄烤饼
和一个真的毯子 所以我们可以 and an actual blanket, so we can be...
变成猪 包在毯子里吃猪包毯 pigs in a blanket while we eat pigs in a blanket.
我不知道被叫做猪可以这么浪漫 I have never found being called a pig so romantic.
嘿 你想挑张唱片吗 Hey, you wanna pick a record?
简的嗜好 Jane's Addiction!
简的嗜好 美国硬摇滚乐队
我在第一届拉帕鲁扎音乐节看了他们表演 I got to see them play the very first Lollapalooza.
1991年 在亚利桑那州 '91, middle of Arizona,
特别热 about a thousand degrees.
我在简的嗜好的演唱会上认识了你的爸爸 You know, I met your father at a Jane's Addiction concert.
在第一届拉帕鲁扎音乐节 At the first-ever Lollapalooza
1991年 back in 1991.
所以我的男友和我妈妈当年怀我的时候 So my boyfriend was at the same concert
看了同一场音乐节 这不能说明他就是我爸 where my mom conceived me. That didn't mean he was my dad.
我记得我的好兄弟奇普 他带我们进了后台 I remember my buddy Chip. He got us backstage that night.
在后台看到乐队真是太酷了 Man, it's so cool to see a band from behind.
那晚我被邀请到后台了 I got invited backstage that night.
如果你觉得在台下看戴夫·纳瓦罗很帅 You think Dave Navarro looks good from the front,
戴夫·纳瓦罗是简的嗜好的主音吉他手
你应该去后台看看他 you should see him from behind, eh?
或者我在和我爸爸交往 Or maybe I've been mackin' on my daddy.
- 再吃一个吗 - 噢 - Another dog? - Oh.
噢 我的爸 我的错 我的错 Oh! My dad! My bad. My bad.
没关系 亲爱的 It's okay, sweetie.
- 张嘴 - 不 为什么 你要干嘛 - Open your mouth. - No! Why? What are you gonna do?
我要喂你吃这个迷你乳蛋饼 I was gonna feed you this mini quiche.
爹地
怎么了 What?
为什么你的围裙上写着"爹地" Why does your apron say "Daddy"?
因为我是这个厨房里的爹地 'Cause I'm the daddy of the kitchen.
可爱 可爱 Cute. Cute.
你知道 我一直在想 You know, I can't stop thinking about
你在拉帕鲁扎音乐节上到底有多帅 how handsome you must have been back at Lollapalooza.
你有老照片吗 Do you have any old pictures?
呃 我想想 噢 Uh... Lemme think about it. Oh.
这是我在1990年和我美丽妈妈的合影 Here's one of me in 1990 with my beautiful mom.
噢 不 Oh, no.
你有在拉帕鲁扎音乐节上的照片吗 Do you have any photos specifically from Lollapalooza?
这里肯定有本旧相册 Gotta have an old photo album around here somewhere.
你保证不能笑我的发型 Gotta promise not to make fun of my hair.
我不会的 No judgment.
这个嘛 我是在1991年被怀上的 Well, I was being conceived in 1991,
所以那时候我都没有头发 so I didn't even have any hair!
我们的哼声都一样 什么概率 We have the same snort. What are the odds?
特别小 罗伯特 特别小 Pretty slim, Robert. Pretty slim.
女士们先生们 你们正在收看的是 Ladies and gentlemen, you have joined us
彭伯顿酒吧的特别节目 for a very special occasion here at Pemberton's.
那就是失物招领日的挑战版 It's Lost and Found Day, Challenge Edition!
这个挑战要持续多久 Um, how long is this gonna take?
因为今天是我俩的第一次约会 'Cause we're on a first date.
这必定是你们这辈子最有意义的第一次约会 The best first date of your goddamn life!
我们的好朋友 杰斯和瓦伦蒂娜 Our friends Jesse and Valentina
今天将展开一场激烈的对决 are going to be competing
争夺这本自助理发教程的所有权 for this guide to self-haircuts.
比赛规则 是进行时装展示 How, you ask? By assembling outfits
所有的搭配物品均由失物招领箱中选取 using only items from the Lost and Found box!
多有创意 What?!
我就不应该无视呀哺上的评价 I should have listened to the Yelp reviews.
Yelp 呀哺 美国著名商户点评网站
他们评价说这地方奇奇怪怪的 They all said this place was very weird.
没错 我们就是这样一家店 It really is, my man. It really is.
来吧 一起见证箱子里的东西能戏出什么奇迹 Now, let's all honk for the hunk with the junk in his trunk.
首先请出的是杰斯·沃克 I am, of course, talking about Jesse Walker!
哇 Wow!
杰斯带来的是《黑客帝国》皮衣时尚秀 Jesse really is giving us Matrix- chic in his leather trench.
穿这套皮衣的都挂掉了 Send your thoughts and prayers to my eyeballs
我们的思念与祈祷与他们同在 because they are dead from this fit.
太好了 八分 Yes! Eight!
走秀结束前都不能给我们来杯喝的吗 Can we really not get a drink until after this is over...
对 别说话了 That's correct. Now, be quiet.
下一个出场的选手 Next on the runway,
是大美女瓦伦蒂娜·莫拉莱斯 we have the beautiful Valentina Morales!
哇 瓦伦蒂娜找了件制服 Wow. Valentina seems to be wearing
似乎是一位名为杰拉尔德的保洁员落在这的 a janitor's uniform lost by somebody named Gerald.
你搞什么幺蛾子 Are you freakin' kidding me?!
为什么能找到恰好合身的裙子 How does it fit her so well?!
我在酒吧见过你 这是我亲手做的 I've seen you around the bar and I had this made for you.
为你量身定制 It's your exact measurements.
不好意思大哥 我不会穿的 Yeah, I'm not wearing this, bro.
- 艾伦 - 一个字 绝 - Ellen? - One word. Transcendent.
- 气死我了 - 十分 赢了 - Damn it! - She's a 10. Yes!
这本逊到爆的书是我的了 This lame-ass book is all mine.
你知道异地恋还有什么麻烦吗 You know what else sucks about long-distance relationships?
两个时区 Two time zones.
明明都在一个国家 为什么要分两个时区 We are one country. We shouldn't have two time zones.
你说错了 有三个 We don't. We have three.
甚至可能是四个 We might even have four.
美国真乱 America's a mess.
主要是 这太麻烦了 Point is, it sucks.
确实 确实 Totally! Totally.
不仅如此 But more than that,
还容易变得疏远 it's just hard to feel... close.
- 你懂我吗 - 我懂 - You know? - Yeah.
这跟我们想象中的新婚第一年完全不一样 I mean, Hannah and I are doing our best
尽管汉娜和我都尽力了 but this is not how I pictured our first year of marriage.
能找到个志同道合的人说说话 我很开心 It's really nice to talk to someone who gets it.
是的 Yeah, it is.
你们要是都不打算看电影的话 可不可以打开 Hey, if y'all aren't gonna watch a movie, can you throw
《穿靴子的猫2:最后的愿望》 Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish
在你俩的屏幕上播放呢 on both your screens for your boy?
我想体验IMAX巨幕电影 I'm trying to do this shit IMAX-style.
这个是我的好哥们 蒜头哥 That's my buddy Garlic.
你肯定猜不到他这花名怎么来的 You'll never guess how he got that nickname.
我肯定猜得出 罗伯特 Bet I could, Robert.
拉帕鲁扎音乐节的照片呢 Uh, where's the Lollapalooza pic?
找到了 I found it.
你可以下楼 Do you mind going
帮我再开瓶酒吗 downstairs and opening another bottle of wine?
我想先洗个澡 I'd love to freshen up.
好 我再去生个火 Oh, yeah. Maybe make a fire?
我怎么表现得那么像个爸爸 Came out a little more paternal than I would have liked.
我的老天爷 God... Oh, my God...
这是我爸爸吗
太露了 无所谓 Too much? Nah...
宝贝 Babe!
我急忙拍掉毛衣上挂着的藤架碎片 So, I dusted the chunks of pergola off my sweater,
跳进我租的车里 打了个电话给我妈 jumped in my rental car, and called my mom.
妈 快回我电话 我好像在跟我爸约会 Mom! Please call me back! I think I'm dating my dad!
不不不 Oh, no, no, no, no!
妈呀 Oh god.
伙计 Dude.
不好意思 我... Listen! I'm so sorry. I...
我先说 Me first.
我叫巴尼·斯廷森 My name is Barney Stinson,
我是个迷途知返的花花公子 and I am a recovering serial womanizer.
今天我们发生对话 是因为 你是我曾经 We are likely speaking today because you are a woman
精心布局 想搞上床的女人之一 I once concocted an elaborate scheme to have sex with.
我完全理解 你向我复仇的执念有多深 I fully understand why you have exacted revenge on me,
我为以下曾做过的事致歉 and I apologize if I ever,
一 伪装成活过来的人体模特 A, pretended to be a mannequin
让你爱上了我 that came to life and made you fall in love with me.
二 雇佣一支化妆团队将我化成 B, hired a makeup team to transform me
拥有时间旅行能力的老人 into a time-traveling old man
然后骗你说 阻止全球变暖 唯一的办法是 and told you that the only way to stop global warming
跟年轻时的我上床 was to sleep with young me.
三 骗你说我是克里斯·海姆斯沃斯 C, told you I was Justin Hemsworth,
Justin Hemsworth 克里斯·海姆斯沃斯 澳大利亚男演员
失散多年的哥哥 the long-lost eldest Hemsworth brother--
停停停 Oh my god, stop talking.
我感觉 Why do I have a feeling you have, like,
你的清单上还有五十多件离谱的事 50 more creepy things on that list?
五十吗 这得有几百条 Fifty? There's, like, hundreds.
我并不是出于报复 要撞你的车 I did not crash into you to... exact revenge.
我们从未见过 我只是个新手司机 We've never met. I'm just a new driver
经历着人生中最糟糕的一晚上 in the middle of the worst night of my life.
如果我们见过面的话 我应该能认出你们仨 I guess I would have recognized the three of you if we had met.
什么 What?
你和你的一对奶子 You and your boobs.
你怎么了 What?! What happened?!
是我的STD 就是电击疗法设备 My STD. Shock therapy device.
就是针对我这种人 It's this experimental new
配备的电击疗法试验技术 electroshock treatment for guys like me.
这玩意的程序里记录了 This sucker is programed
一万组敏感词 with 10,000 problematic words and phrases.
要是我说了敏感词 它就电我 If I utter one of them, it blasts me
放的电都够给斯塔顿岛用了 with enough electricity to power Staten Island.
斯塔顿岛位于纽约市
真的有用吗 Whoa. And that really works?
对 Uh, yeah.
我看到你的第一眼 我本想说 When I first saw you, I wanted to say,
"你撞了我 不如也让我来撞撞你" "You rear-ended me, so how about I rear-end you?"
rear-end本意是追尾 开黄腔的时候表示后入
但我最后没说 But I didn't.
真有趣 Well, uh, fun chat.
我该怎么赔偿你的损失 What do you say I Venmo you for the damage?
Venmo是一种支付工具 相当于国内的支付宝
你觉得怎样合适 三十... 四十美元 What do you think's fair? Like, 30... 40 bucks?
五十美元 最终报价 Okay, 50! Final offer!
宝贝 我左脚的鞋带价值五十美元 Honey, my left shoelace cost $50.
人生新低点 This is a new low.
先是发现自己的约会对象可能是我的亲生父亲 First, I find out I'm dating my maybe dad,
然后现在 撞到纽约最有钱的花花公子 and now I'm gonna go bankrupt because I crashed into
而濒临破产 the fanciest perv in New York.
等下 你发现 I'm sorry. You just found out
你的约会对象可能是你的什么 谁 什么 you're maybe dating your maybe what? Who? What?
说来话长 It's a long story.
不如你跟我说说 How about you tell me
父与女 欲望与私通交织的传奇故事 your twisted tale of daughter-daddy lust and intrigue,
要是你的故事足够吸引人 那这车不用你赔 and if your story is juicy enough, the car is on me.
真的吗 可真是个奇怪的交易 Really? That's a... pretty weird challenge.
我可以告诉你 If there's one thing you should know about me,
我就喜欢各种奇怪的交易 it's that I love a weird challenge.
好 Okay.
我和我的朋友一起去参加一场派对 So, my friend and I, we went to this party.
- 嗯 - 我遇到了一位厨师... - Okay. - And I met a chef...
对 是这样 Yeah, you did.
太烦了 Come on!
谢谢你能进来说话 Thank you for meeting me here.
别那么尴尬 我们只是换了间房 Stop being weird. We literally just walked into another room.
小票上写了首情歌 This receipt has a love song written on it.
关于索菲的 About Sophie.
- 没错 - 你什么时候写的 - Yeah. - When did you write it?
很久很久之前 我都不记得了 Oh god, a long, long time ago. I barely remember.
你上周写的 Oh, you wrote it last week.
那天你在盖璞童装店买了三件特大号衬衫 Same day you bought three extra-extra-large shirts at Gap Kids.
小孩的衣服更便宜些 Kids' clothes are just cheaper,
怎样 没错 我上周写的 okay? And, yes, I wrote it last week.
对 我对索菲还有感觉 And, yes, I still have feelings for Sophie.
- 你打算怎么做 - 什么都不做 - What are you gonna do? - Nothing.
曾经我有那么一瞬间 I mean, there was a minute
想要告诉她 there where I thought about telling her,
但她和罗伯特在一起了 我意识到这样最好 but then she got with Robert, and I realized it's for the best.
第一次完全是场灾难 I mean, it was a complete disaster the first time around.
再来一次也可能还是场灾难 It would probably be a disaster again,
我得向前看 and I just need to move on.
咱们就假装你从来没有找到过那首歌 So, let's just both forget you ever found that song.
就像希德找到我那首写给 Like Sid did when he found my poem about...
希拉里·克林顿的诗一样 about Hillary Clinton.
成交 Deal.
谢谢 Thank you.
然后我跳上租来的车 给我妈打电话 Then I jumped in my rental car, called my mom,
然后就撞上你了 and then crashed into you.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank God!
"照片里不是你爸爸 "That's not your dad in the picture.
但我确实从他那里买过摇头丸 很美味" I did buy ecstasy from him, though. Yum."
她听上去可真有意思 She sounds fun.
她确实有意思 She is.
天啊 太棒了 Oh my god, that's so great.
他不是我爸 He's not my dad!
他只是另一个好人 但我从他身边逃走了 He's just another great guy that I ran away from
因为我一团糟 真好 because I'm a complete mess. Woo.
你小时候 When you were little,
你想象中的爸爸是谁 who did you picture when you were imagining him?
《马尔柯姆的一家》中的布莱恩·克兰斯顿 Bryan Cranston. From Malcolm in the Middle.
布莱恩·克兰斯顿 美国著名演员 也主演了《绝命毒师》
不是《绝命毒师》里的他 我根本看不下去 Not Breaking Bad. I couldn't even watch that.
我可不想看见我爸造冰毒 I didn't wanna see my dad cooking meth.
对我来说是鲍勃·巴克 For me, it was Bob Barker.
Bob Barker 鲍勃·巴克 美国知名节目主持人
我总是想象他在我学校外面停好车 I always dreamed that one day, he'd pull up outside my school,
我们一起去给宠物绝育 and we'd go spay and neuter pets together.
- 哇哦 - 没错 - Wow. - Yeah.
你也不知道你爸是谁吗 So, you don't know your dad either?
其实我现在知道了 Actually, now I do.
我的一个好朋友前一阵子失去了父亲 A great friend of mine lost his father a while back.
所以我决定趁还不算太晚 去找我的爸爸 And so, I decided to track down my own before it was too late.
你想过去找你自己的爸爸吗 Did you ever think about finding yours?
当然 Of course.
但我担心他是个罪犯 But then, I worry that he's gonna be a criminal.
或者酒鬼 Or a drunk.
- 或者道具喜剧演员 - 呃 - Or a prop comic. - Ew.
但其他时候 我又觉得他 And then other times, I think that he...
能弥补我生命中的每一块缺陷 could be everything that's ever been missing from my life
完全把我改造成 and completely transform me
最好的样子 into the best version of myself that I could be.
解决你害怕被抛弃的情结 你害怕承诺的问题 Fix your abandonment issues, your commitment issues,
你"不把女人当人看"的问题 your "not seeing women as human being" issues.
- 你爸帮你解决了那些问题吗 - 哈 - Did your dad do all of that for you? - Ha.
没有 No. Uh,
其实 几年前 actually, a few years back,
有个很棒的女孩子走入了我的生命 a really amazing girl came into my life.
就是我的女儿艾莉 My daughter Ellie.
她是我愚蠢的人生中出现过最美好的东西 She is the best thing that ever happened to an idiot like me.
我一见到她 我就知道 The moment I saw her, I knew...
我得做出改变了 I had to change.
别误会 Don't get me wrong.
我爸很好 My dad is great.
他善良风趣 He's kind and funny,
看见他俩在一起 就感觉... and watching the two of them together, it just...
你懂的 You get it.
嗯哼 Yeah.
听着 如果你决定去找你爸 Look, if you ever do decide to track down your dad,
也许不会解决你所有的问题 it probably won't fix all your problems.
但如果你像我这样幸运 But, if you get lucky, like I did,
那会棒极了 could be great.
我的故事对你来说够不够劲爆 So was my story juicy enough for you,
还是你想让我给钱 or are you gonna make me pay?
你没事了 You're off the hook.
没必要给我转钱 You don't have to Venmo me anything.
正如过去的我所说 Or, as my past self used to say,
你没必要给我转 you don't have to Ven-hoe me any--
Ven-hoe有用Venmo付嫖资的意思
我说过是过去的我 I said past self!
泰勒-琼90关注了你
- 嗨 宝贝 - 嗨 - Hey, baby. - Hey.
- 旅途顺利吗 - 还和之前一样 - How was your flight? - Uh, you know, the usual.
饿了没 我点了你爱吃的泰国菜 You hungry? I ordered from that Thai place that you love.
这次有两份芒果糯米饭 And I got two mango sticky rices this time
因为我吸取了教训 because I learned from my mistakes.
嘿 Hey.
罗伯特 Robert!
你在这儿干嘛呢 What are you doing here?
我来看看你还好不好 I'm looking for you to make sure you're okay
因为你从我家跳窗逃跑了 'cause you jumped out the window and fled my house.
哦 对噢 Oh. Right.
你给我看的那张洛拉帕罗扎音乐节的照片 The picture you showed me from Lollapalooza,
你搂着的女人是我妈 the woman that you had your arm around is my mom.
- 什么 - 没错 一瞬间我不知所措 - What? - Yeah, and I briefly spiraled,
还以为你是我从未见过的爸爸 thinking that you were my dad I've never met.
因为我妈就是在音乐节怀上我的 Because I was actually conceived at that concert.
- 什么 - 嗯 别担心 你不是我爸 - What? - Yeah. Don't worry! You're not.
嗯 我知道 我那时候还在禁欲 Yeah, I know. I was on a celibacy kick back then.
90年代真是怪 The '90s were a weird time.
- 那是你妈妈吗 - 没错 - That's your mom? - Yeah.
好吧 我们没上过床 Okay, we didn't sleep together,
但是我们接吻了 but we kissed.
- 是吗 - 也做了点儿别的 - You did? - And did other stuff.
真的吗 You did?
很多别的事儿 A lot of other stuff.
天啊 为什么她不告诉我 Oh! Why didn't she tell me that?
呃 没看到这条消息 Ugh, didn't see this text.
"他当时在做很愚蠢的禁欲那套 "He was on some lame celibacy thing,
所以我们只用手和嘴 so we just explored each
来探索彼此的身体" other's bodies with our hands and our mouth..."
没错 我告诉过你那个年代很奇怪 Yeah. I told you it was a weird time.
但是 索菲 那是好多年前了 But, Sophie, it was years ago.
几十年前吧 Decades.
三十年前 这件事我们会翻篇的 Three decades. We could come back from this.
我们绝对会翻篇的 We can totally come back from this.
- 我们回不去了 - 我们回不去了 - We can't come back from this! - We can't come back from this.
再见 罗伯特 Goodbye, Robert.
再见 索菲 Goodbye, Sophie.
替我向你妈问好 Say hi to your mom for me.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi!
我和罗伯特分手了 I broke up with Robert.
等等 发生了什么 Wait, what happened?
我都不知道从何说起 I don't even know where to begin.
也许得从 Maybe I'll start with...
我想找爸爸开始说起 I think I wanna find my dad.
- 什么 - 哇 - What? - Wow.
那我们就帮你找到他 Then, we will help you find him.
谢谢 Thanks.
我错过了失物招领日吗 Did I miss Lost and Found Day?
别担心 在你知晓前 那箱子会很快装满的 Don't worry. That box will be full again before you know it.
好 Good!
看我们 Look at us.
新兴单身女郎 A newly single woman,
和她订了婚的好闺蜜 her engaged best friend...
其实我并不算订婚了 I am not really engaged.
哟 这个餐桌装饰品太赞了 Yo, this centerpiece is fire.
她百分百订婚了 She was 100% engaged!
我们可以来点吃的吗 我快饿死了 Can we please get some food? I'm starving.
- 好的 - 罗伯特本来要给我们做晚餐的 - Yes. - Robert was supposed to make us dinner,
然后我意识到 and then I realized
也许他是我爸 he was maybe my dad.
- 什么 - 你意识到他有可能是你爸吗 - What? - You realized he was maybe your dad?
等等我 Wait! Wait for me!