ShinY
深影
本字幕由 ShinY 深影字幕组原创翻译制作
深影译站地址http://sysub.vip
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科沃 食物都放哪里了 Korvo, where's the food?
我现在热饿 I'm hot-gry.
那可是又热又饿 That's a combo of hot and hungry!
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如果你不吃那些桑拿石 You wouldn't be so hot if you would stop eating
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翻译： 雪莱 蓝莓味果维康 爱尔兰威士忌软糖 Gemma
ShinY
深影
你现在就不会那么热了 those sauna stones!
我喜欢那顶帽子 洋洋乐 I like that hat, Yumyulack.
ShinY
深影
它突出了你天然桶形的脑袋 It really highlights the natural bucket shape of your head.
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校对： 阿谚 后期： 孤亦
谢谢 我最近试了很多的帽子 Thanks, I've been auditioning a lot of hats lately,
但我想我终于找到最合适的那顶 but I think I've finally found the one
仿佛在说"这货是个赏金猎人" that says, "This guy bounty hunts."
晚餐准备好了 Dinner is served.
我做了炖肉 I made pot roast
因为今晚是又一个外星也难民家庭玩笑会 because tonight is another Solar Opposites family roast.
ShinY
深影
- 耶 - 哇哦 - Yes! - Whoa!
好极了 哇哦 Alright! Woo-hoo!
太好了 最喜欢玩笑之夜了 Yes, love roast night.
是啊 我可不要参加这个 Yeah, I'm gonna bow out of this one.
我特意做了炖肉 I specifically made pot roast
这样我们就可以互相开对方的玩笑了 so we could roast each other's balls.
这是我们有趣的新活动 This is our fun new vibe,
每个家庭成员都必须接纳它 and the whole family has to embrace it.
这周的第四次了 Fourth one this week.
我们连续进行玩笑之夜了 宝贝 We're on a roast night roll, baby.
ShinY
深影
我以为在你说完 I thought you'd
我的脸看起来像是在毒液的阴道里 run out of "A" material after you said
你已经用完了关于A的词语 my face looks like the inside of Venom's vagina.
ShinY
深影
的确是 但是后来我通宵看完了《黑道家族》 I did. And then I stayed up all night watching Sopranos
另一个屏幕放的是 on one screen and
贾德·阿帕图导演版剪辑电影 Judd Apatow extended-cut movies on the other.
现在 谁想要先被吐槽 Now, who wants to get their non-existent nuts busted first?
我 我 我 我 Me, me, me, me, me, me!
好吧 让我们开始 Alright, here we go.
泰里是快乐绿巨人 Terry is what you get when the Jolly Green Giant
注: 同名公司的吉祥物 绿色的巨人形象
忘记去做腿部训练日的时候的样子 accidentally forgets to do leg day.
噢 我去那了 Oh, I went there!
你懂我 You got me.
噢 下一个我来 我午饭都没吃 Ooh, do me next, I skipped lunch.
你的波点裙更像是波不点裙 Your polka dot dress is more of a polka don't.
噢 不 他没有 哦 耶 他做到了 Oh no, he didn't. Oh yes, he did!
谢谢你 科沃 Thanks, Korvo!
然后接下来是洋洋乐 And then there's Yumyulack.
见鬼 看看这失败者的脸面 Holy shit, look at this fucking loser.
唯一比洋洋乐那丑的要死的帽子更糟的事 The only thing worse than Yumyulack's ugly hat
是他混蛋极了的性格 is his piece-of-shit personality.
噢 那是一个桶型帽子吗 Oh, is that a bucket hat?
更像是一个谁都看不上的桶子 More like a bucket of who gives a fuck?
噢 你可真的是个最丑 最蠢 Oh, you are seriously the ugliest, stupidest,
最可恨的小混球 most hateable little shit.
你戴着帽子是因为你太渴望当一个人类 You wear hats because you want so badly to be human,
但你永远也不可能是 因为你没有妈妈 but you still will never be one because you don't have a mom.
噢 崩 崩 崩 崩 崩溃了吧 Oh, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-busted.
这是你的那份 Here's your slop.
有人要开我的玩笑好让我也开饭吗 Someone wanna roast me so I can eat?
噢 我有一条 Oh, I got one.
科沃 你可太蓝了 蓝到天空就像在说 Korvo, you're so blue, the sky is like,
"嘿 把我的颜色还给我" "Hey, gimme back my color."
噢 抓到你痛点了 Oh, gotcha.
该死的 杰西 我不敢相信你居然会那样说 Fuck you, Jesse. I can't believe you would say that.
语言是会伤人的 Words can hurt. [sobbing]
失乐普星球曾是一个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
可被小行星撞了个稀巴烂 until the asteroid hit.
一百多名成年人以及 One hundred adults
他们的复制人带着发配的蛹宝宝 and their replicants were issued a Pupa,
逃向了... 外太空 and escaped into the... space,
奔走于杳无人迹的外星球 只为寻找新的家园 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们迫降在地球 We crashed on Earth,
困在了这个本就人口过剩的星球上 stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
没错 我就是个不停叨叨的话唠 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
那个抱着蛹宝宝的就是我 I'm the one holding the Pupa.
我叫科沃 我是这剧的主人 My name is Korvo. This is my show.
蛹宝宝刚溜掉了 Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
简直荒诞无稽 我痛恨地球 Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.
这简直是人间地狱啊 It's a horrible home.
人们又蠢又迷茫 People are stupid and confusing.
为什么人类要在母胎里待九个月 Why is the human gestation period nine months,
然后一无是处的蹦出来 and then they come out useless?
他们应该在花盆里养孩子 They should grow babies in pots.
更快 更简单 而且等他们养成后 Faster, easier, and then after they're done,
还能把花盆留着当帽子 you get to keep the pot as a hat!
外星也难民 第四季第五集
你就是这么玩抓子游戏的吗 That's how you play jacks?
地球上的游戏也是蠢的要死 Earth games are dumb as hell.
警告 警告 Warning, warning,
启动自主清洁协议 self-cleaning protocol initiated.
见鬼 Dammit.
我跟科沃说过了要清理飞船 可他不 I told Korvo to clean up the ship, but no,
他忙着研究疾病和挖掘 he's too busy researching disses and digs.
- 啊 - 如果变得太脏的话 - Huh? - If it gets too dirty up in here,
无法停止的生物清除计划就会启动 an unstoppable bio-matter eradication protocol kicks in
而在这停止前 我会失去飞船控制权 and I lose control of the ship till it's over.
危险 辐射等级提高 Danger, radiation level rising.
当前输出为百分之一 Current output is one percent.
别担心 只是用来清除 Don't worry, it's just a blast
所有有机生命体的致命辐射启动了 of deadly teleron radiation that purges all organic life.
- 不 - 我们驾驶舱很安全 - No. - We're safe in the cockpit,
但船体剩余部分 but the rest of the ship
正在被那可怕的辐射清除得干干净净 is getting that sick-ass teleron wipe.
船上的东西也太多了 There's too much clutter in there anyhow,
食物 玩具 植物 food, toys, house plants.
几天前我好像还看到一个联合快递的人在晃悠 Pretty sure I saw a UPS guy wandering in a few days ago.
联合快递 UPS?
迷路迷得一塌糊涂 Dude's lost as fuck.
这飞船里面可比外面看起来大多了 The ship is way bigger on the inside than on the outside.
你要去哪里 Where are you going?
你不是去救那个快递员了吧 不是吧 You're not going to save the UPS guy, are you?
现在可不是逞英雄的时候 Don't go being a hero now.
科沃 我们还好吗 Korvo, are we cool?
你昨晚看起来非常生气 You-you seemed pretty pissed last night
在我开完你玩笑之后 after I busted your balls.
你把桌子掀翻了 然后冲了出去还喊着 You flipped over the table and stormed out like all,
"去你的" "Oh, fuck you!"
还记得吗 科沃 Remember that, Korvo?
不 我很喜欢你的吐槽 No, I loved it.
我记得当时你开的吐槽可太有趣了 I remember thinking your roast was so funny
我想拍膝盖 但我估计错了距离 that I decided to slap my knee, but I misjudged the distance
意外拍到了桌子 用力太猛 桌子翻了 and accidentally slapped the table so hard that it flipped over.
那句"去你的"是我在表现自己的坚强 And the "Fuck you" was at myself for being so strong.
然后我很快的冲了出去 And-and I stormed out real quick
是因为我罗布乐思游戏订阅快过期了 because my Roblox subscription was about to expire,
注: Roblox罗布乐思 世界最大的多人在线沙盒游戏
我需要赶紧续费 不然会被踢出公会 and I needed to re-up it so I don't get kicked out of my guild!
- 噢 见鬼 见鬼 - 发生什么了 - Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. - Wh-wh-what's wrong?
我本来在复制人的房间里偷香烟... I was in the replicants' room, stealing cigarettes...
请别再那么做了 Please stop doing that.
我看到了一个在发光的绿色圣日礼物 I saw a glowing green birth-a-day present
在洋洋乐的床上 是寄给他的 on Yumyulack's bed, and it was addressed to him.
噢 真的吗 Oh, really?
噢见鬼 那只能说明一件事情 Jesus face-fucking Christ, that can only mean one thing.
今天一定是洋洋乐的失乐普圣日 Today must be Yumyulack's Shlorpian birth-a-day!
等等 你是想说生日么 Wait, are you trying to say birthday?
不 你听起来蠢透了 No, you sound stupid.
这是个失乐普单词 完全不一样的 It's a Shlorpian word that's totally different.
生日 失乐普圣日 Birth-a-day, Shlorpian birth-a-day.
见鬼 Jesus. Fuck.
噢 天呐 Oh, my God,
这些复制人对他们的传统真的是一无所知 these replicants know nothing about their heritage.
每一个失乐普人会在生命中 Every Shlorpian gets one birth-a-day randomly
随机获得一个圣日 in their lifetime.
当一件发光绿色礼物出现的时候 You know when it's here
你就知道这一天来临了 because a glowing green present appears.
然后你有一天的时间去打开它 And then you have exactly one day to open your present
然后获得你的圣日超能力 and claim your birth-a-day powers.
噢 可以获得了什么样的超能力呢 Ooh, what kind of powers do you get?
那是个问题 That's the problem.
你可以选无尽的智慧 You're given a choice between infinite wisdom
或者 无尽的破坏力 or powers of infinite destruction.
无尽智慧听起来好棒 Infinite wisdom sounds toit!
也许吧 谁知道呢 反正没人选这个 Maybe, no one knows, it's never been picked.
大家都选破坏力 Everyone chooses destruction.
圣日是失乐普人 A Shlorpian's birth-a-day is their big chance
申冤报复的最好时机 to get revenge on everyone who's wronged them.
说到失乐普星 我们有一个朋友 Back on Shlorp, we had this one friend
叫杰森 by the name of Jason.
快跑 今天是杰森的圣日 Run, it's Jason's birth-a-day!
我讨厌在这里工作 I fuckin' hated working here!
你想往哪逃啊 Where the fuck you goin', dude?
你这个该死的老板 You were a shitty boss.
祝我圣日快乐 Happy birth-a-day to me!
杰森平时挺冷静 大家都挺尊重他的 And Jason was a chill dude. People treated him with respect.
完了 洋洋乐可不是个冷静的人 Ah, geez. Yumyulack isn't chill,
我们最近跟他开的玩笑也挺不尊重他 and we've really disrespected him lately with all the ball busting.
尤其是你 科沃 Especially you, Korvo.
我看见他埋在帽子里痛哭了 I saw him crying into his bucket hat.
我讨厌别人可以批评我 I hate it when people can dish it out
他们自己却受不了批评 but they can't take it.
他绝对会用圣日超能力 He'll most def use his birth-a-day powers
用激光眼把我们蒸发掉 to laser-eye vaporize us.
我不想化成灰 I don't wanna be zapped into ash.
我还没舔过男生屁屁呢 I haven't even licked a boy's inner butt yet.
我们得做以前在失乐普星做的事 We gotta do what we used to do back on Shlorp.
不让这个小孩发现 Keep the birth-a-day boy from finding out
今天是他的圣日 it's their birth-a-day.
我们要不惜一切代价让洋洋乐离开房间 We must keep Yumyulack away from his room at all costs.
对 我从来没在我的圣日上杀过人 That's right. I never got to kill anyone on my birth-a-day
因为我朋友一直分散我注意力 直到那天结束 because my friends distracted me until the clock ran out.
我本来打算杀光前任 I was gonna kill my exes
这样她们彼此就不会交流 so they couldn't talk to each other
我之前吹嘘我会给他们口的事 about how I always brag about sucking da mound
但其实我并没有 but I never actually do it.
我们这样计划 Then that's the plan.
在这十二个小时里 We have 12 hours to
圣日结束倒计时
我们要分散洋洋乐注意力 挽救整个家庭 distract Yumyulack and save the family.
然后我们就成功了 Then we suck da mound.
好了 这是最后一盆绿植了 Alright. That's the last of my ferns.
我是不会让我的花园成为遗迹的 I'm not letting my Bloomscapes die
就因为你们连一周一次的表面清洁都做不到 'cause y'all can't do a weekly surface clean.
你动我的超棒绞盘干什么 What are you doing with my good winches?
是关于那个快递员吗 This is about the UPS guy.
你这是步他后尘 You're going after his ass.
快递员 快递员 UPS, UPS!
该死的 蛹宝宝 你怎么这么道德感爆棚 Dammit, Pupa. Why do you have to have a moral code?
你不能进去 太危险了 You can't go in there, it's too big a risk.
你都不知道他值不值得救 You don't even know if he's worth saving.
如果他支持乔丹·彼得森呢 What if he likes defending Jordan Peterson in comment threads?
注:加拿大心理学教授 又称"龙虾教授" 所持许多观点都有极大争议
我是不会让你进去的 I'm not lettin' you go in there.
回来 还敢给我跑酷 Get back here, don't you parkour away from me!
蛹宝宝 Pupa!
我们最喜欢的小外星人来了 There's our favorite little alien.
空手道馆
你们在这干嘛 Uh, hey, what are you guys doing here?
你说练武术是那些脚控才学的 You said martial arts was for toe suckers.
脚控就是最牛的 兄弟 Toe sucking rules, dude!
空手道排练的怎么样 How was karate rehearsal?
棒极了 我今天拿到白带四段 Awesome, I got my fourth white belt today.
看看我的新动作 Check out my sick new move.
天 你的平衡感还不如一头蠢驴... Jesus, you are more off-balance than a donkey fucking...
你也太棒了吧 That was great.
咱们得出去庆祝 We thought we'd take you out to celebrate
你拿到这个 this white belt thing we just heard about.
主意不错 但我还是想回家 I appreciate the thought, but I prefer to head home
这样我就可以玩新版麦登疯狂橄榄球了 so I can play the new Madden in my room.
忘掉那个大受欢迎的狂野夏洛特游戏吧 Forget the massively popular, Good Charlotte-themed video game.
注:狂野夏洛特 美国流行摇滚乐队
你什么时候都能玩 You could do that anytime,
但庆祝白带四段的机会只有一次 but you only get one chance to celebrate your fourth white belt.
咱们能至少出去吃顿午饭吗 Can we at least take you out to lunch?
我知道一个超棒的餐厅 I know the perfect place!
好吧 我确实饿了 Okay, I did work up a pretty good appetite
让我深深地鞠一躬 with all my respectful bowing.
看吧 Check it out.
太酷了 Very cool.
危险 辐射强度达百分之三十五 Danger, radiation level at 35 percent.
你听到那个恐怖的警告了 You heard that scary-ass voice.
如果你非得要救他 那就赶快 If you gonna do this rescue bullshit, then hurry up,
要不然你就回不来了 or you won't have time to get back.
顺便说一句 你要去的舱 By the way, that compartment you're in now
是一座走不出去的巨大迷宫 is a giant unsolvable maze.
每艘飞船都有 别用那种奇怪的眼神看着我 Every ship's got one, stop looking at me like it's weird.
救命 Help!
快救救我 Please, help!
该死的 蛹宝宝 你还真能走出迷宫啊 Damn, Pupa! Your Daredevil powers fucked that maze up.
谢谢你 善良的生物 Thank you, kind creature.
等等 这不是快递员 Wait, that ain't the UPS guy.
兄弟 你进我们飞船干什么 Bro, how the hell did you get onto my ship?
我是灭虫员 I'm an exterminator.
几周前 我被叫来灭蜘蛛 Got hired to come here a couple weeks ago to spray for spiders,
有个巨大的长角怪虫撞到了我的腿 and some giant horned bug gored my leg.
该死的 他说的是沃塔虫 Oh, shit. He's talking about a volptar.
沃塔虫
对 对 就是这个 Yeah, yeah, that's it.
它是一种危险的硅基寄生虫 It's a dangerous silica-based parasite
它一定是在我们飞越宇宙的时候钻进来了 that must have crawled into the ship when we were flying through space.
辐射都弄不死它 Volptars can survive radiation.
它们巨顽强 They're tough as shit!
谢谢你 Thank you!
好了 他上来了 Okay, he's back.
用第二个钩子把你自己也钓上来吧 Now use the second hook for yourself.
蛹宝宝 回来 Pupa, get back here!
该死的 我真受不了我这个球体身形 Dammit, I'm getting too orb for this shit.
这是镇上唯一一家 This is the only restaurant on this side of town
可以自己烤肉的餐厅 where you can smoke your own brisket at the table
《好汉两个半》的演员都在这做服务员 and see the kid from Two and a Half Men tending bar.
我就是想有个镜头 我发誓 Ah, I'm just doing this for a role, I swear.
这家餐厅全是五星好评 This place has a ton of five-star reviews.
只有一个人给了零星 And one zero-star review from a guy
还是抱怨他离婚了 who clearly just wanted to complain about his divorce.
闻起来真香 Oh, it smells amazing.
我们什么时候能吃 When do we eat?
只需短短四个小时 In four short hours,
就可以给肉测第一次温了 we get to take the meat's temperature for the first time.
太棒了 Ooh.
让我们享受一个美好的 悠闲的 So, let's all settle in for a nice, leisurely--
该死的 快带我回家 Oh, shit. Take me home.
怎么了 发生什么事了 What is it? What's wrong?
那个女服务员 我认识她 The waitress, I know her.
这是我们同学特蕾西 嗨 特蕾西 这里 That's Tracey from school. Hey, Tracey, over here!
别招手了 Stop waving.
几周前我不小心给她发了张下身照 I accidentally sent her a mound pic a few weeks ago.
太尴尬了 她只是已读不回 It was embarrassing. She left me on read.
他就是个混蛋 He's such a fuck-up,
不过我们还是得让他觉得自己很酷 but we need to make him think it's cool.
别担心 乐乐宝贝 我打赌这张照片一定很炫 Don't worry, Yum bear, I bet it was a good pic.
老天 乐乐 这也太小了吧 Oh, goddamn, Yum, that mound is tight.
特蕾西绝对气疯了 Tracey's out of her mind.
平常的话 我肯定要吐槽你 Usually, I would totally roast you,
但是这张照片确实很棒 but this is a quality mound.
真不错 你是怎么把它整成这样的 Neat, how'd you get it to glisten like that?
什么 她过来了 完了 What? She's coming over, d'ah!
不 等等 我们还有其他计划 No wait. Um, uh, we have something else planned for you.
跟赏金猎人差不多 It's a bounty hunting thing.
简直是为你量身打造的 It's what defines you as a character.
我该做什么 So, what am I supposed to do here?
看 杰瑞·奥康奈尔他会给你解释的 Here's Jerry O'Connell. I think he's about to explain.
注: 美国演员 参演喜剧片为主
洋洋乐 欢迎来到杰瑞的生死决斗 Welcome, Yumyulack, to Jerry O'Connell's Battle O' Death.
生存类游戏吗 太棒了 A battle royale? Fuck yes!
真希望能亲自见你 Wish I could be there with you in person,
但我还有其他演出 but I've got so many other gigs.
当然了 奥康奈尔巨作 Hell yeah, you do. O'Connell works!
看起来确实不错 Looks great too.
他笑得嘴角都快咧到后脑勺了 His smile is almost wider than his face.
二十名格斗与生存专家 加上一个外星人 Twenty combat and survival experts plus one alien
他们将在我们的仓库展开厮杀 will hunt each other in our warehouse complex
这里充满了武器与陷阱 filled with weapons and booby traps.
每三个小时 场地都会缩小 Every three hours, the playing field shrinks,
最后一名幸存者将获得胜利 last man standing wins.
听上去挺好玩的 祝我好运吧 Sounds good. Wish me luck.
没问题 You got this.
大杀四方吧 Kick ass, buddy.
六个多小时后见吧 See you in six hours or so.
这样应该能把洋洋乐拖过今天了 That should occupy Yumyulack for the rest of his birth-a-day.
虽然奥康奈尔办了这个 You know, despite the fact he's hosting
恐怖的鱿鱼游戏 a deadly Hunger Squid Game Battle Royale,
注: 网飞出品的的大逃杀韩剧
他看上去人还挺好的 O'Connell seems like a great guy.
家人们 我竟然赢了 You guys, I freaking won!
太好玩了 That was a blast.
有几个对手还挺难搞的 Some of those guys were tough.
所以 接下来干点什么呢 So, what are we doing now?
危险 Danger,
辐射等级达到百分之六十 radiation level at 60 percent.
那就是沃塔虫 That's the volptar!
快跑 蛹宝宝 Run, Pupa!
小心那个洞 Watch out for the pit.
那是个无底洞 That shit's got no bottom.
我一般都把用完的电池扔那里 That's where I throw used batteries.
我知道你在想什么 I know what you're thinkin',
你想用燃烧棒送自己下去 you wanna use those flares to propel your ass down the pit.
什么 你从哪搞的那个火箭兵面具 What the? Where did you get that Rocketeer mask?
你最好不是刷我的卡买的 You better not have bought that with my Discover card.
不要啊 蛹宝宝 Pupa, no!
你好啊 小动物 Guten tag, tiny creature!
谢谢你的抱抱 Danke for the hug!
还有点不适应没在往下落的感觉 Ah, it feels so strange not to be falling.
我已经在那个坑里待了两个星期了 I've been in that pit for two whole wochen.
这位德国太太 你是怎么进去的呀 How the hell did you get in there, German lady?
我预定了这艘飞船上的一间民宿 I Airbnb-ed a room on this spaceship.
停停停 蛹宝宝 Now, now, now hold it right there, Pupa.
我知道你想把最后一根绳子 I know you wanna use your last rope
给这位女士 送她回来 to send the socks and sandals lady back
这样你还能继续去找那个快递小哥 so you can keep looking for the UPS man, but...
但是 我可在你的绳子上卡了一个扳手 That's right, I stuck a wrench in your winch,
所以你能不能送她回来是我说了算 so you can't save this lady's life until I say so.
快把你自己也栓好 和她一起回来 Either you clip yourself in too and come back with her
要不然你们俩就都死在辐射里吧 你自己选 or you both die of radiation, up to you.
求求你了 别让我死 Please, don't let me die.
我还没去过麦基诺海峡呢 Not before I've seen the Straits of Mackinac.
这就对了 这也不难嘛 Thank you. How hard was that?
对不起了蛹宝宝 我知道你想 Sorry, Pupa. I know you wanted to...
小兔崽子 Son of a bitch!
极其危险 Extreme danger,
辐射等级达到百分之八十 radiation level at 80 percent.
好的 我们还有一项行程 Okay, we got one more thing planned.
再往下拉一拉你的渔夫帽 Just keep that bucket hat down. A little further.
好啦 And... now!
帽上帽工厂 The Hat On A Hat Hat Factory?
不会吧 这是我最喜欢的北美帽子品牌了 No way. They're my favorite North American hat brand.
你们怎么知道的 How'd you know?
我们看了你的搜索记录 We looked at your search history.
都是帽子 小猫 和口交 It was all hats, cats, and felching picks.
快来吧 我们给你安排了四小时的贵宾之旅 Come on, let's go. We got you the four-hour VIP tour.
我靠 Holy shit,
那是巴利·哈特福里德诶 that's Barry Hatfield.
他是设计了最好看帽子的设计大师 He's the designing mastermind behind all their best headwear!
大师 得了吧 这人就是个小丑吧 Mastermind, please, this guy's a clown.
他肯定就马上要做威利·旺卡那种事 He's clearly about to do some kind of Willy Wonka--
注:电影《查理和巧克力工厂》中巧克力工厂的老板
哇塞 原来你的腿是正常的 Oh, wow, your legs do work!
没错 Indeed.
欢迎来到 Greetings and welcome
帽上帽工厂贵宾之旅 to the Hat On A Hat Hat Factory VIP Tour.
我是巴利·哈特福里德 'Tis I, Barry Hatfield.
我们开始吧 Shall we begin?
好 Fuck yes.
♪ 来吧 ♪ Come on, let's go
♪ 让我带你见识各种帽子 ♪ And I'll show you hats
♪ 不同形制 不同大小 ♪ Of different shapes and sizes
♪ 高顶毡帽 软呢帽 ♪ Stetsons, fedoras
♪ 水手帽 ♪ Sailor caps
♪ 还有报童帽 ♪ And Gatsbys too
这什么破歌啊 This song sucks shit.
别这么说 Let it go, man.
放轻松 Let it go.
♪ 我们溶解毛毡 再压制成帽子 ♪ We melt down felt and press it into hats
♪ 一个完全符合环保局要求的过程 ♪ In a process that meets EPA standards
♪ 我们重新设计了鸭舌帽檐 ♪ We just reopened our porkpie wing
♪ 其中完全不含石棉 ♪ And it's asbestos-free
哦太棒啦 Oh, oh, yeah!
洋洋乐 你想知道 Yumyulack, would you like to learn the secret
我们家平帽檐的秘密吗 to how we make our everlasting flat brims?
那可是整个服饰界 That's one of the most tightly kept secrets
最不能言说的秘密 in all of the haberdashdom!
真是放狗屁 Oof, that was some real candy-ass bullshit.
那首歌最后竟然是减弱的 That song did just kinda peter out.
我太想吐槽洋洋乐了 I cannot wait to bust Yumyulack's balls about it.
如果你觉得之前的我太坏了 If you thought I was bad before,
等等看明天的我吧 wait until tomorrow.
我简直迫不及待了 Mm, I can almost taste the pot roast.
实际上呢 我们希望 Actually, we were kind of hoping
这个吐槽的事能暂停一段时间 to keep the pause going on the whole ball-busting thing
洋洋乐的圣日之后也是 even after Yumyulack's birth-a-day.
什么 What?
今天是我圣日 你们还都瞒着我 Today's my birth-a-day, and you hid it from me?
- 完蛋 - 啊对不起洋洋乐 - Oh, shit. - Oh, Yum, I'm so sorry.
你们怎么能这样 How could you?
我要用我的圣日超能力干好多事呢 I was gonna use my birth-a-day powers to do so much cool stuff.
真的吗 我们担心你会暴走来着 Oh, yeah? Because we were scared you were gonna be violent with it.
我只是想用我的超能力让他们 I was just gonna use my powers to make them show me
给我看《独奏者》的预告片 an early cut of Solo 2: Solo-er.
哦对 我还要杀掉所有人 就从你俩开始 Oh, and I was gonna kill everyone, starting with you two!
哦不 Oh! No!
- 啊毛毡 - 不要啊 - Ah, the felt! - Oh no!
- 着火了 - 我们就知道你是个坏蛋 - It's burning! - We knew you were bad!
哦不 泰里 杰西 Oh, oh, Terry, Jesse, no!
我的家人被压成帽子了 My family got milned into hats
就像幸运饼干预言的那样 just like the fortune cookie said they would!
我天哪 泰里 杰西 你们还能听到我说话吗 Oh, my God. Terry, Jesse, can you hear me?
你个混蛋 你把他们都变成这么逊的东西 You fuck. You turned them into the lamest thing!
等我打开我的圣日礼物 When I open my birth-a-day present,
你就该庆幸自己是顶帽子了 you're gonna wish you were a hat.
等会 Hold on.
这个追逐场景好眼熟啊 This chase sequence looks familiar.
这群省钱的货是不是又用了 Are these cheap bastards reusing animation
杰西追你回家那次的动画 from when Jesse chased you home that one time?
不可能 这回明明不一样了 No way, this is different!
啊啊 天哪 Ah! Ah! Oh God.
救命啊 Oh, oh, help me. Ah, ah!
就是一样的 这就是上次咬你那条狗 It is the same, th-th-that's the dog that bit you before.
别想用这招溜走 Don't you dare use it to get past me.
去你的吧 我就打算这么做 Fuck you, that's exactly what I'm doing.
蛹宝宝 快离开引擎室 Pupa, get out of my engine room...
你知道这 不安全的 you know it's not safe... here.
辐射累积中 百分之九十八 Radiation building, 98 percent.
救命 救命啊 Help! Please help!
别去 蛹宝宝 你会没命的 No, Pupa, you're not gonna make it.
你是谁 你是啥呀 Who are you? What are you?
- 百分之九十九点六 - 别管它了 老兄 - 99.6 percent. - Let it go, man.
我肯定会被炒鱿鱼的 但炒就炒吧 Yeah, I'll get fired, but fuck 'em.
他们只准我在车里上厕所 They make me pee in my truck!
温度持续上升 辐射累积至百分之九十九点八 Warning, radiation buildup is now at 99.8 percent.
辐射器正在脱机 请立即清除数据 Emitters are spooling, purge imminent.
沃塔虫 Volptar!
蛹宝宝 小心啊 Pupa, watch out!
警告 有危险 Warning, danger,
启动清除程序 initiating teleron wipe.
科沃 Korvo?
科沃 Korvo!
给我起开 Get out of my way.
我知道你要用你的圣日能力 Look, I understand y-you're about to wreck me
把我干掉 with your birth-a-day powers,
但在你行动之前 我想说对不起 but before you do that, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
对不起 为了什么 You are? For what?
我们不应该骗你 We shouldn't have lied to you.
我们应该信任你去做正确的事 We should have trusted you to do the right thing
而不是以最坏的结果打算 instead of thinking the worst.
没错 Yeah, that's right.
而且我也很抱歉使劲踢了你的蛋蛋 And I'm sorry I busted your balls so hard.
但问题是 我脸皮薄 The truth is, I have thin skin.
是真的皮薄 这是我从出生时就有的病 Literally, it's a clinical condition I was born with
我没告诉过任何人 that I've hidden from everyone.
所以我一觉得被攻击 就会失控 It makes me lash out when I feel attacked.
谢谢你这么坦诚 Thanks for opening up to me about it.
我不知道你承受着这样的痛苦 I had no idea you were carrying that burden.
现在只有你知我知 I know it's just you and me now
因为你把家人们都杀了 变成了帽子 because you killed half the family by turning them into hats.
但我想和你换种方式重新相处 But I'd love to turn a new page in how we treat each other.
你说呢 What do you say?
这样吧 科沃 You know what, Korvo?
如果你刚刚说的是真心话 If you really mean what you just said,
那没问题 我没有圣日超能力也没关系 then okay, I'm good with letting my birth-a-day clock run down.
真的吗 Really, you are?
当然 想去看《猎杀红色十月号》的第二部 Yeah, wanna go watch Hunt for Red October 2:
《追踪绿色十一月》吗 The Search for Green November?
先给我慢着 Wait a hot fucking second.
你讨厌那部电影 而且我认识的洋洋乐 You hate that movie, and the Yumyulack I know
绝不会这么快就被说服 would never cave that quick.
不 那是我的礼物 Wait, don't, that's my present!
"给科沃" "To Korvo"?
天哪 今天是我的失乐普圣日 Oh, my God, it's my Shlorpian birth-a-day.
你们假装调洋洋乐离山 You guys pretended to distract Yumyulack
实际上一直都是调我离山 while the whole time you were actually distracting me!
等一下 晃悠悠的眼珠子 Wait a minute, googly eyes?
这俩帽子恐怕根本不是泰里和杰西吧 Are these hats even Terry and Jesse?
我们暴露了 计划失败 We're blown, we're blown!
前往避难室 To the panic room!
别这样 科沃 Don't do this, Korvo.
想想你两秒钟前刚说的话 Think back to what you said two seconds ago.
去你的 这是一回事吗 Fuck you, completely different situation.
等我达到满血状态 你们的屁股就等着开花吧 When I hit full bars, your asses are grasses.
快进来 Get in here!
你干嘛要把他引回房子里 Why did you lead him back to the house?
抱歉 我入戏太深了 I'm sorry, I got way too into character.
该死 Oh, shit.
幸好 Phew.
血条满格 等死吧你们 All charged up, time to die!
那个生物为了救人类牺牲了自己 That creature perished to save mein life.
我要在后背纹上他 I will get a tattoo of him on my back.
我都不知道他叫什么 I don't even know his name.
他叫蛹宝宝 是个大人物 He was the Pupa, and he was very important,
所以关于他刚刚发生了什么 which is why the three of us need to get our story straight
我们仨得对好说辞 about what exactly happened to him.
蛹宝宝 你还活着 怎么会 Pupa, you're alive, how?
你藏在沃塔虫体内躲过了辐射 You hid from the radiation inside the volptar!
行了 我先走了 Alright, well, I'm gonna go.
我不相信这个计算机 I don't trust this computer at all.
我也不信 这出科幻破戏我看得够够的 Me neither, I've had quite enough of this sci-fi scheisse.
说来好笑 Ya know, it's funny.
我总问"布朗能为您做些什么" I've always asked, "What can Brown do for you?"
但这是第一次有人为布朗做些什么 But this is the first time somebody did something for Brown.
蛹宝宝 Wow, Pupa.
你今天真是让我受益匪浅啊 You really taught me something today,
每一条人类生命都很重要 that every human life matters,
即使是那个联合包裹的快递员 even that lonely UPS guy
同样值得你牺牲 was worth sacrificing your own...
独角兽 Ponies!
我就知道 你可别再用我的信用卡买玩具了 I knew it, you need to quit putting toys on my card.
我的信用都被你败光了 You gonna fuck up my credit.
最后一扇门 你们完犊子了 Last door. You guys are fucked.
我想这样的结局是必然的吧 I suppose it was always gonna end like this.
咱俩好一场不留遗憾 泰里 We had a good run, Terry.
我只希望月亮像一个大披萨 I just wish that the moon had hit my eye
落入我的眼中 一次就好 like a big pizza pie just-a-once-a.
至少我在死前找到这个渔夫帽 At least I found this bucket hat before I died.
准备好去见你们的造物主吧 大骗子们 Prepare to meet your makers, you lying...
失乐普圣日体验完毕 Shlorpian birth-a-day complete.
没事 各位 It's fine, you guys.
- 你们可以过来了 - 你不生气了吗 - You can come over. - You aren't still mad?
生我自己的气 Just at myself.
最该被教训的我 却教训了你们 I told you the lesson I needed to hear,
教训完我又不去照做 and then I immediately didn't do it.
我当时想 "去它的 我把你们都给宰了" I was like, "Fuck that lesson, I'm gonna slaughter you all."
对不起 I-I'm sorry.
无尽超能力会让人丧失心智 我一直这么说 Infinite power is intoxicating, I always said that.
慢着 我说的也可能是"怪咖不限" Or wait, was it "Characters Welcome"?
反正是其中一个 I know I said one of 'em.
不管怎样 下次不管谁再过失乐普圣日 Either way, the next time someone has Shlorpian birth-a-day,
我们要相信他们不会把我们干掉 we need to trust they won't kill the rest of us.
能做到吗 Can we do that?
- 当然 - 肯定的 - You bet. - Absolutely.
两个月后
该死 Oh, fuck.
好棒 Yeah.
- 太酷了 - 真棒 - Whoa! Crazy. - Alright, nice.
我好像真的在空军一号上 I feel like I'm actually on Air Force One.
你从哪弄来的游戏 Where'd you get this game?
里根图书馆 The Reagan Library.
记住 把眼镜牢牢戴上 Now, now remember, keep those goggles on good and tight
将VR调到最大值 for maximum VR.
杰西太狡猾了 Jesse's a total snake.
如果这东西被她发现 我们就死定了 If she gets her hands on this, we're dead.
那我们不如把它放进洗衣机 Then I say we stuff it in the washing machine.
这是她最不感兴趣的地方了 It's the last place she's gonna look.
她只有一件衣服 She only has one outfit.
看呐 Whoa, look at that!
南希给了某个家伙一把锤子 Nancy's giving some guy a hummer,
居然是克林顿·伊斯特伍德 and it's Clint Eastwood?
太真实了 Too real.
我要吐了 I'm gonna puke.
别啊 等着看她是怎么啐他一脸口水的 Oh, no, wait. You have to see how she spits it in his face.
你们这些混蛋 You motherfuckers.
- 把盒子给我 - 快逃啊 - Give me that box! - Run!
现在就给我 Give me that right now.
我的怒气值满了 I have a lot of anger to work out!
- 泰里 小心 - 接住了 - Terry, heads up. - Got it!
- 快跑 - 还给我 - Run! - Give it back!
你们毁了我的圣日 You're ruining my birth-a-day!
深切怀念迈克·瑞恩
该剧前制作组人员
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