ShinY
深影
本字幕由 ShinY 深影字幕组原创翻译制作
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哥们 汉姆斯特丹 Aw, man, Hamsterdam?
哈哈 你要给我一百万美元 Oh, shit! You owe me a million dollars
ShinY
深影
因为这里住了一群荷兰仓鼠 because there's a bunch of Dutch Hamsters who live there.
你个混账怎么能在《大富翁·火线》获胜 How the fuck are you winning in Monopoly: The Wire Edition
《火线》是一部美国剧情类电视剧， 讲述了马里兰州巴尔的摩市警察与犯罪团伙间交锋的故事
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ShinY
深影
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翻译： Tammy 包子
你连节目都没看过 when you've never watched the show?
麦克纳尔蒂是电视剧《火线》中的一名警察
你怎么不骂你的小锡人麦克纳尔蒂 Why don't you bitch at your pewter McNutty,
是它害得你举步维艰 that's what keeps landing you on shitty spots.
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校对： 小和尚 压制： 孤亦
拜托 我要八 Come on, gimme an eight,
我要去码头工人喝蛋酒的酒吧 get me to that bar where the dock workers drank eggs.
要大命 怎么又是汉姆斯特丹 Double dang it! Hamsterdam again?
欢迎来到地狱 杰西卡 哈哈哈哈 Welcome to hell, Jessica! Ha ha ha ha!
快给钱吧 失足少女 Now pay up, you little delinquent!
ShinY
深影
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我兜里一分钱都没有啦 But I don't have any money left!
我讨厌这个无聊的游戏 玩起来压力好大 I hate this stupid game. There's too much pressure!
ShinY
深影
这是只白虫子吗 Is that a White Goobler?
ShinY
深影
这是一个重大的突破 This is a huge development.
我有生以来第一次赢得桌游 I'm about to win a board game for the first time ever.
失乐普星球曾是一个完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
可被小行星撞了个稀巴烂 until the asteroid hit.
一百多名成年人以及他们的复制人带着发配的蛹宝宝 One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃向了... 外太空 and escaped into the... space,
奔走于杳无人迹的外星球 只为寻找新的家园 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们迫降在地球 We crashed on Earth,
困在了这个本就人口过剩的星球上 stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
没错 我就是个不停叨叨的话唠 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
那个抱着蛹宝宝的就是我 I'm the one holding the Pupa.
我叫科沃 我是这剧的主人 My name is Korvo. This is my show.
扯淡 蛹宝宝刚溜掉了 Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
简直荒诞无稽 我痛恨地球 Ugh. This is ridiculous. I hate Earth.
这简直是人间地狱啊 It's a horrible home.
地球人好傻 总干些莫名其妙的事 People are stupid and confusing.
苹果蜂是美国知名连锁餐厅，侧重于休闲餐饮
这边有家餐厅叫苹果蜂 They have a restaurant called Applebee's,
他们居然不给开胃菜取名"开苹菜" and they don't call their appetizers apple-tizers.
真是乱来 That's bullshit!
外星也难民 第四季 第八集
老天爷 你怎么咳出了一只那么大的虫子 Dear God, how did you cough up such a gross goobler?
没想到我们居然能造出白色的 I didn't even know we could make white ones.
跟红虫子一样大小 It's the same size as the Red Goobler was.
不过 你会不会跟我们说"去死吧" Wait a minute, are you going to say "get fucked"
然后给我们一刀 and try to kill us?
不会的 我不想成为你们的负担 Oh, no, I don't want to be a burden, you know?
我不想成为未成年妈妈 I can't be a teen mom.
我连颈部纹身都没有 I don't even have a neck tattoo!
我不明白 This doesn't make any sense.
为什么我和杰西都造出了非主流颜色的虫子 Why would Jesse and I make off-color gooblers
你俩却没动静 and not you two?
因为我们各方面都比较优秀... Because we're superior in every...
等等 Oh, shit, wait a minute.
我都忘了 上周我咳出了一只淡紫色的虫子 Totally forgot that I coughed up a lavender goobler last week.
- 我那会是不是该报告 - 没错 - Was I supposed to report that? - Yes!
我的红虫子还在外面晃悠 随时准备弄死我 My Red Goobler is still out there plotting to kill me.
它们是危险的生物 These things could be dangerous!
看起来没有威胁 Hm, doesn't seem dangerous.
噢 来吧 就是那里 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's it right there.
给我 像爸爸 Give it to me. Papa like.
这肯定是只风流虫子 This must be a Romance Goobler,
因为我是如此的罗曼蒂克 because I'm such a romantic and shit.
这是只畸形的虫子 小小的脑袋里全是黄色废料 That's a freaky little shithead horny goobler,
你应该意识到这点 and you fucking know it.
除了泰里 大家都有新的虫子吗 So we all have new gooblers except Terry?
为什么呢 How does that make sense?
出现奇怪的虫子时 我们应该报告 是吧 We're, uh, supposed to report weird gooblers, huh?
你该不会也咳出了一只吧 Don't tell me you coughed one up too!
不是 I did not.
感谢失乐普神... Well, thank our Shlorpian gods...
- 是五个 - 什么 - I made five. - What?
泰里的虫子们 报数 Terry's gooblers, sound off!
- 小偷虫子 - 标准播音腔虫子 - Klepto Goobler. - Criterion Disk Goobler.
嫉妒虫子 Envy Goobler.
宝贝虫子 Babe-yyyy
因为泰里喜欢说"宝贝" 宝贝 'cause Terry loves saying "babe-yyy," babe-yyy.
吉米虫子 Kimmy Goobler.
《欢乐满屋》是一部美国喜剧。 吉米是衍生剧《快乐再满屋》的一个角色。
我重温了《欢乐满屋》三次 I re-watched all of Full House three times
把它当口香糖那样吐了出来 and then barfed that little chiclet up.
哎呀 朋友们 Geez, guys.
为什么我们会造出那么多虫子 Why are we making all these colorful goobs right now?
多愚蠢的问题啊 杰西卡 Well, that's a dumb question, Jessica.
这话说的 你没学过失乐普解剖学吗 You're acting like you don't know anything about Shlorpian anatomy.
显然 失乐普星人压力过高时会吐出虫子 Obviously, every 100,000 times we stress out and goobler,
十万次后一个红色的大家伙就会出现 one big red one shows up.
但在场没有红色的大家伙 But, none of these are red.
行吧 我也搞不清楚状况 Alright, fine, I don't know what the fuck is going on either.
带上你们各自的虫子 我们去问爱莎 Everyone grab your gooblers and let's go ask AISHA.
每次去问那个飞船智能 都显得我们很无知 Fucking hate it when we have to go ask the ship stuff,
真的讨厌 makes us look like such dummies.
太棒了 Ooh, yeah.
蛹宝宝 你怎么每天都拿着星爆糖 Pupa! How do you keep getting your paws on Starbursts?
《电子争霸战》是史蒂文·利斯伯吉尔执导的科幻冒险电影
奇异果香蕉味会让你做关于《电子争霸战》的噩梦 You know those kiwi banana ones give you the Tron nightmares.
你想想 与其一天天 Have you ever thought that, like, instead of indulging
绞尽脑汁地做这些徒劳而无意义的事 in these long, needlessly complicated schemes
比如四处搜罗糖果 吹口哨版哈利波特 to get candy or Harry Potter whistles,
你不如将那些小聪明用在 that maybe you could use that big-ass Pupa brain
让世界更美好的正道上 to make the world a better place?
蛹宝宝 能让世界因你而变得更美好的话 Yeah, Pupa, the satisfaction you get
那种满足感可比吃星爆糖 from making the world a better place would taste way better
要高得多 than any old Starbursts.
好了 小傻瓜们 Alright, dummies,
请准备好 我们来学习失乐普一百零一问 get ready to learn some Shlorpian 101.
在失乐普人的躯体设定中 The Shlorpian body is designed
释放过度的情绪积累 是靠排出虫子完成的 to remove excess emotional buildup by emitting gooblers:
就是这种小小的手舞足蹈的生物 small, dancing creatures
他们身体里储存着你不想要的化学物质 which hold your unwanted chemicals in their bellies.
失乐普人吐出虫子 The gooblers are emitted
这群虫子会跳可爱的快步舞曲 and then will dance their adorable little jig
直至死亡 until they die.
不过 假如失乐普人负面情绪过多 However, if a Shlorpian has too many negative emotions,
虫子系统则会制造出超大号虫子 the Goobler system will produce a Super Goobler.
它更大 更自私 也更聪明 Larger, meaner, smarter:
这种超大号虫子的设计目的 则是为了杀死情绪失控的 the Super Goobler is designed to eliminate the Shlorpian
失乐普人 with emotional problems,
将他们移出地球小队 removing them from the terraforming team,
以保障任务顺利进行 ultimately protecting the mission.
去死吧 Get fucked!
如果超大号虫子诞生 If you make a Super Goobler,
最佳解决办法是 让它办了你 it's best to allow it to kill you
那样的话 团队剩余成员便可以享受你的血肉 获得营养成分 so the rest of your team can dine on your body for nutrients.
这些小家伙长大后会杀了我们 Wait, so all of these little guys are gonna grow up to kill us?
应该不会 我的虫子是只压力虫子 Well, that can't be right. Mine was a stress goobler.
而这些看起来很友好 These are all too nice.
等我长大 我就搞死你 宝贝 When I get bigger, I'm gonna fuck you up, babe-yyy!
虫虫 Gooble.
超大号虫子真恐怖 Those Super Gooblers are creepy as fuck.
我们不能坐以待毙 We gotta do something.
在开始行动之前 我想知道一件事 I kinda wanna figure out what my goobler even is
我的虫子到底是个啥玩意 before we do anything.
我的哪种情绪积累到崩溃呢 What emotion was I having too much of?
阴天里的一缕阳光吗 Being a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day?
我有个不太靠谱但是能保全我们的点子 Th-this is probably a bad pitch, but maybe it'll get us going.
不如就把他们丢在必胜客后面的大垃圾桶里 What about if we throw them in the dumpster behind Pizza Hut?
不失为一个好办法 Okay, that's the plan to beat.
棒 Yes!
基于洋洋乐刚刚的建议 Building off of what Yumyulack just said,
我们应该先将它们塞到垃圾袋里 we should put them in garbage bags
然后将它们丢到必胜客后面的大垃圾桶 before we throw them in the dumpster behind Pizza Hut.
这个空间就很合适 现在开始抓捕吧 Hmm, I'm liking this area a lot. Now get to grabbing.
在他们抓捕我们之前 我要先将它们都丢进垃圾桶 I want to have them in that dumpster before they start stabbing us.
别将我关到袋子里 小甜甜 Ah! Don't put me in the bag! Sweet cheese!
噢 小吉米 Oh, little Kimmy.
科沃 停 我改变主意了 我不能杀死我的虫子 Korvo, stop! I changed my mind! I can't kill my gooblers.
为什么 What? Why not?
因为它们就像我的孩子 Because they're like my children, dammit,
多可爱的小东西 and they're so cute
它们没有伤害任何人 and they aren't trying to murder anyone yet!
这种事很快就会发生 They will soon enough!
我也不想伤害我的小家伙 Ah, I don't want to kill mine either.
看他那轮廓分明的骨盆 Just look at that pelvic definition.
也许几只小家伙可以接受改造 You know, maybe some of them can turn their lives around
只需要一点爱和耐心 with a little love and attention.
水晶刚刚说过 The crystal just fucking told us
如果放任其不管 它们会变大 把我们都干掉 if we don't do something, they'll grow up and then kill our asses.
死于虫子之手 多下贱的死法 Death by goobler is such a lowbrow way to die.
我想到了 我们可以把它们运到凯利家的 Light bulb, we can ship them off to Kaley Cuoco's Rancho Cuocomonga
收容各种野兽及不知如何处理的生物乱七八糟牧场 for Miscellaneous Beasts and Where to Abandon Them.
别说蠢话 根本就帮不上忙 泰里 Making something stupid up won't help, Terry.
我懂 但我是认真的 I know, but this time I'm telling the truth.
它是个无安乐死收容所 归价格线的凯利·库厄科所有 It's a no-kill rescue ranch owned by Priceline's Kaley Cuoco.
洋洋乐的蛇都被我送那去了 It's where I've been sending all of Yumyulack's snakes.
它们还活着 They're alive?
你当时说你把它们的脑袋都砍下来 You told me you were chopping off their heads
扔到人行道上 用来杀鸡儆猴 and leaving them on the sidewalk as a warning to other snakes.
好消息 That's such great news!
泰里 干得漂亮 按照该计划进行 Terry, ya fucking nailed it. This is the plan.
大家带上虫子 车里集合 Everyone, pack your shit and meet me at the car.
- 是时候该... - 等等 可以让我说吗 求求你 - It's time for the... - Wait, wait, wait! Can I say it? Please!
求你了 可以让我说吗 Please can I say it? Please?
- 科沃 拜托 - 当然可以 你来吧 - Korvo, please! - Sure, my guy. Go for it.
外星难民们要开始公路旅行啦 The Solar Opposites are going on a road trip!
太好了 宝贝 Yeah, babe-yyy!
《几近成名》是2000年上映的美国剧情片， 该片讲述了一名15岁的摇滚乐爱好者威廉跟随乐队巡回演出 并终于感悟了家庭与生活真谛的故事。
欢迎乘坐泰里驾驶的超级出名的"几近成名"巴士 All aboard the Terry's Super Famous Almost Famous Bus!
几近成名
《生死时速》是1994年二十世纪福斯电影公司出品的一部动作电影。
请各位系好安全带 Fasten your seatbelts
因为泰里爹地参照他最爱的公路电影 《生死时速》 'cause Daddy Terry tricked out this bus
改装了这辆巴士 in the theme of his favorite road trip movie, Speed!
速度低于五十 就会爆炸 If we go under 50, we explode!
丹尼斯·霍珀在《生死时速》中饰演退休警官培恩
还记得吗 丹尼斯·霍珀当时演了个大混蛋 Remember? Remember Dennis Hopper's got that little fucked-up hand?
这回爹地给大家安排了一辆正常的巴士 Okay, this time Daddy got us a regular bus
基本上没有炸弹 宝贝 with almost no bombs, babe-yyy!!
好喔 宝贝 Yeah, babe-yyy!
洋洋 你觉得我的虫子是什么 Psst, hey, Yum, what do you think my goobler is?
也许它是只甜甜虫子 Maybe it's like a sweet goobler or something?
杰西卡 你的虫子就是个没用的家伙 Jess-ica, your goobler is a goobler for sucking!
活着占地方 对世界没有贡献 It takes up a bunch of space, and it's a deadweight piece of shit
徒增负担 每个人都讨厌它 with nothing to offer the world and everybody hates it.
也许吧 Oh, okay. Maybe that's it.
别玩枪了 臭小子 Will you stop playing with that gun, you little shit.
能让世界因你而变得更美好的话 The satisfaction you get from making the world a better place
那种满足感可比吃星爆糖要高得多 would taste way better than any old Starbursts.
我才不在乎圣巴巴拉市海岸附近 I don't care how many geese drowned in the black tar
有多少只大鹅会淹死在沥青里 off the coast of Santa Barbara,
明天我要看到石油钻机安装完成并开始工作 I want my oil rigs up and running by tomorrow
不然就让你收养的孤儿活活饿死吧 or your adopted orphans can starve!
我的上帝 你下周不能休假 埃利斯 Oh, Jesus Christ. You can't have next week off, Alice.
没人关心你的癌症发展到了什么阶段 I don't care what stage your cancer is in.
好的 布兰迪小姐 Yes, Miss Brandy.
你是什么玩意 What the fuck are you supposed to be?
滚出去 Get out of here!
《可可瓜》是关于传统童谣和原创儿童歌曲的3D动画系列视频
可可瓜 Cocomelon.
可可... 你在说什么 Cocom...What are you talking about?
我让你滚出去 I said get out!
可可瓜 Cocomelon.
天啊 你要干什么 Oh, my God! What do you want?
特吕弗 电影史
再开十四个小时就能到达牧场 Only 14 more hours to the ranch
能跟凯利见面 and I get to meet Kaley.
等等 少了点什么 Wait a minute, something's missing.
一二四五 完了 我的小偷虫子去哪了 One, two, four, five. Oh, fuck, where's my Klepto Goobler?
可能在苏格兰传统美食那停车时 Maybe we left him at the local Scottish food place
我们遗落了它 we stopped at.
- 你说的是麦当劳吗 - 我去 - You mean McDonald's? - Fuck!
他可能还在那偷麦旋风的蘸酱 He's probably still there, stealing all the McFlurry toppings.
- 得掉头 - 不行 泰里 - We have to go back. - No, Terry!
我们已经迟到了 We're already running late
之前在麦当劳游乐场玩太久了 because we spent so much time in the McPlayPlace.
我的虫子好像变大了 I think my goobler's getting bigger?
你怎么忘记了你的虫子 How could you lose your gooblers?
它们可是公路旅行的核心 That's the whole point of this road trip!
我只想说 谁让你带了个混球去游乐园 All I'm sayin' is, you bring a motherfucker to a PlayPlace,
那混球肯定要在那玩 motherfucker gonna play.
- 可可瓜 - 妈呀 - Cocomelon? - Jesus, shit!
你不是真的 Okay, y-you're not real.
死藤水是用南美一种藤本植物的根泡制而成的有致幻作用的饮料
只是死藤水阴道软糖 Y-you're just a side effect
产生的副作用 of my Goop ayahuasca vaginal gummy crowns.
我吃几片富人专属的犀牛角丸 I-I-I'm just gonna take some of my rhino horn pills
然后你就会消失 that only rich people have, and you'll go away.
- 可可瓜 - 给老娘滚 - Cocomelon. - Ah! You know what, fuck this!
你怎么敢坐在那 How dare you sit there judging me
甜饼怪是儿童教育电视节目《芝麻街》中的角色
用你那甜饼怪的眼睛打量我 with your Cookie Monster eyes?
- 可可瓜 - 不要审判我 - Cocomelon. - You can't judge me.
只有我的爱人可以审判我 因为是他们给了我自由 Only my lovers can judge me because that's what gets me off.
我选择了孤独 I choose loneliness
因为我曾被爱过 又被狠狠伤害 because I've been in love before, and it sucks.
可可瓜 Cocomelon.
前一分钟 你还在堪萨斯州城的郊区幸福地生活着 One minute you're happy living in suburban Kansas City
《独领风骚》是一部由艾米·海克林执导的爱情喜剧电影
下一分钟 你的爱人就出现在《独领风骚》 and the next your lover's in Clueless,
长达三十年的演艺生涯 then goes on to have a 30-year acting career
- 他都不会变老 - 可可瓜 - and never ages! - Cocomelon!
闭嘴 我受够你了 Shut up! I am done with you!
可可瓜 Cocomelon.
天啊 是凯利·库厄科吗 Oh, my God! Is that Kaley Cuoco?
不对 这个女人只有一只耳朵 No, wait, this lady only has one ear.
凯利有两只耳朵 Kaley has two ears!
搞什么鬼 我要把我的家伙丢给凯利 What the fuck? I want to abandon my animals with Kaley!
我是凯利·库厄科的特技替身科爱利·克洛克沃科 I'm Kaley Cuoco's stunt double, Kwelly Cloakawoko.
绿灯侠是漫威旗下的超级英雄
谢尔顿在《生活大爆炸》剧组自制的绿灯侠戒指爆炸 I lost my ear when Sheldon's homemade Green Lantern ring exploded
我的耳朵在那次事故中没了 on the Big Bang set.
欢迎来到凯利·库厄科的库厄科大牧场 Welcome to Kaley Cuoco's Rancho Cuocomonga!
先将这些奇怪的生物安置好 Let's get these deformed creatures settled,
我带你们参观 and I'll give you the tour!
我们收留这些没人要的生物 We take all the fucked-up animals no one else wants to touch:
狮虎 中年狼 白化蟒蛇 ligers, middle-aged wolves, albino pythons.
我的蛇 My snakes!
小安和小拉 你们还活着 Anaconor and Lahissa, you're thriving!
你们需要遗弃什么生物 What would you guys like to abandon?
我们这有不同的定制套餐 We have several customizable packages
价格区间是二十九点九九元到八百五十七万 ranging from $29.99 to $8.57 million.
有六只会谋杀我们的超大号虫子 I'm sure you get this a lot, we have half a dozen Super Gooblers
相信你也能理解 that'll eventually kill us so, you know,
因此在刺杀行动开始之前 要把它们丢你这保管 gotta ditch them with you before the stabby-stabby begins.
六只 你是说这两只吗 A half dozen? You mean these two?
不是 我们有... 操 No, we... Oh, shit!
杰西 你的疙瘩小人胖得要命 Jesse, your goobler got fat as fuck!
为什么不说话 Why didn't you say anything?
我在公交车上说了 I did, on the bus!
下次大点声 倒霉孩子 Next time speak up, Messica!
如果你不是我任务的一部分 我也会把你抛弃在这里 If you weren't part of my mission, I would abandon you here too.
这是我们最大的围墙 This is our largest enclosure.
你们这些奇怪的动物 Your strange creatures should be as happy
会像被遗弃的动物一样快乐 as an abandoned animal can ever be here.
去吧 小家伙 Go on, little guy.
你可以在里面随心所欲 You can romance the fuck out of whatever you want in there.
等一下 Wait!
杰西 这些东西会背叛我们 Jesse, these things are going to turn on us,
能直接捆起来吗 can we wrap it up?
我想知道你到底是什么 I just need to know what you are.
是不是我哪种情绪过多了 What emotion do I have too much of?
管他呢 给我滚进去 你个蠢虫子 Who cares! Get the fuck in there, you stupid goobler.
终于不会再有虫子 Phew, finally, a goobler situation that doesn't end
打断我在赌场里大显身手或做爱 in me getting stabbed or having sex in a casino.
再见 白色虫子 Bye, White Goobler.
你们一定累了 You guys must be tired.
你们可以在我们的乘务员套房过夜 You can stay here for the night in our The Flight Attendant suite
喝上一杯被遗弃后的库厄科咖啡 放松一下 and relax with a post-abandonment cup of hot Cuoco.
你非得这么说吗 Ew, do you have to say it that way?
那是我的窗台 That's my ledge,
我可没允许你在那歇着 and I didn't give you permission to perch there.
可可瓜 Cocomelon?
看看你能不能躲开 Let's see if you can dodge
这些昂贵的富婆收藏品 all these expensive rich lady collectables!
巴斯奎特篮球俱乐部的篮球 飞狗巴迪的头骨 Basquiat's basquiaball. Air Bud's skull!
泰坦尼克号上的爱尔兰人大腿骨 An Irish femur from the Titanic!
古老的肛塞 Ancient butt plug!
成功了 哈哈哈 Yes! Ha ha ha!
去你的 Fuck you!
我终于解放了 I'm free from the torture!
- 可可瓜 - 啊 - Cocomelon. - Ah!
哦 我的腿 天啊 Ow! My leg! Oh God.
救命 救命 Help! Help!
有人能听到吗 Can anybody hear me?
当然没有 Of course not.
我独自一人...和我的设计品在一起 I'm all alone... by my own design.
这个热库厄科像南瓜一样辣 Mm, this hot Cuoco is pumpkin-spicy.
你不觉得奇怪吗 Don't you think it's weird
不知道虫子们在搞什么鬼 that none of us figured out what my goobler's dealio was?
哦天哪 没人会关心那些垃圾 Oh, my God, nobody cares about the goobler shit.
如果我必须弄清所有背景故事 I mean, if I had to figure out the backstory
我就会忙得没时间 of everything I puked up, I'd be too busy to write
来写热泪伤痕的扩展宇宙同人小说了 my Dolores Claiborne expanded universe fan fiction.
也许你是对的 Maybe you're right.
我要再去和那些虫子们说再见了 I'm gonna go say bye to the gooblers one more time
趁我们还没离开 before we kwo-go.
天哪 你真是和丽莎·辛普森一样 Oh, my God, you're such a Lisa Simpson.
白虫子 你醒着吗 White Goobler? Are you awake?
快给我 爸爸最喜欢它了 Give it to me! Papa like!
白白 不要 Whitey, no!
你知道吗 我一直认为凯利·库厄科 You know, I always thought Kaley Cuoco was
是穷人版的克里斯汀·贝尔 a poor man's Kristen Bell,
但现在我要把她升级为 but now I'm gonna upgrade her
上层中产阶级版的安娜·法瑞丝 to an upper middle-class woman's Anna Faris.
闭嘴 你听见了吗 Shut up, did you hear that?
用手机上的单打比赛软件照一下亮 Use the single match app on your phone to get us some more light.
对 稳住 希望这个管用 Right! Steady. Hope this works.
只能看一场比赛 然后就得看广告了 The app only has one match before it makes you watch an ad.
来吧 Phew!
天啊 Oh, shit!
救命啊 它在抱我 救命 救命 Help! It's hugging me! Help! Help!
白虫子出来了 我现在知道怎么回事了 The White Goobler got out, and now I think I know what happened!
它吃了所有其他的虫子 It ate all the other gooblers!
非常感谢 显而易见 Thanks a lot, lieutenant obvious!
该死的杰西卡对立面 Damn you, Jessica Opposites!
- 天啊 - 该死 - Oh, my God! - Oh, shit!
我们得去游客中心 We have to get to the visitor's center!
- 不要 - 我的洋洋啊 - No! - Yummy bear!
看来我们得快点了 Looks like we need some speed.
幸好我穿着暴走鞋 来吧 Luckily, I wore my Heelys! Come on!
该死的泥土 弄脏了我的鞋 Ah! Damn it, stupid dirt, getting in my 'ees.
快跑 泰里 Run, Terry!
我在努力 这双暴走鞋背叛了我 I'm trying! These Heely shoes betrayed me!
科爱利来救你了 Kwelly to the rescue!
你得解决这个问题 不然凯利会发飙的 You gotta fix this, or Kaley's gonna go ballistic!
我做不到 我甚至不知道我的虫子代表什么 I can't! I don't even know what my goobler represents!
你最好找个能干的人 You better find someone who can!
不可能做得到 That's impossible!
我们的船用加固器甚至都做不到 Our ship computer couldn't even do-- Ah!
该死的蛇 Fuckin' snakes!
蛇的血从来不会流出来 Snake blood never comes out.
这些座位将永远是红色的 These seats are gonna be red for life.
等等 红色 就是这个 Wait! Red. That's it!
天啊 凯利会把那些蛇的钱从我的养老金里扣掉的 God, Kaley's gonna take those snakes out of my pension!
你怎么找到我的 How'd you find me?
照片墙上面 你得告诉它 别让别人给你贴标签 Instagram. You gotta tell it not to let people tag you.
不行 社交网络带来太多麻烦了 I can't, we get a lot of business through social.
你能不能别烦我 Would you just leave me alone?
这需要大量的远程治疗 It took a lot of tele-therapy,
但我不想再杀科沃了 but I'm not trying to kill Korvo anymore.
太棒了 我为你的努力工作感到骄傲 That's great! I'm proud of you for doing the hard work!
但我真的需要你的帮助 But I really need your help.
你是不是让超级虫子逃出来了 Did you make some super gooblers that got out of hand?
你怎么知道的 How did you know?
所有的虫子都通过情感光谱联系在一起 All gooblers are connected through the emotional spectrum.
当你制作它们时 能感受到它们的存在 I could feel their presence when you made them.
我也被他们吸引 我的命运我做主 I'm drawn to them. But I'm the master of my own fate.
我选择拥有全城排名第五的微型啤酒厂 I choose to own the fifth most popular microbrewery in town.
对不起 我帮不了你 Sorry, I can't help you.
但我的超级虫子吃掉了其他人的 But my super goob ate the others,
还吃掉了泰里 科沃和洋洋乐 and it ate Terry and Korvo and Yumyulack
我不知道该怎么办了 and now I don't know what to do.
- 不是我的问题 - 但你是我唯一的... - Not my problem. - But you're my only...
科沃和泰里毁了我的生活 Korvo and Terry ruined my life!
他们把我的未婚夫变成老鼠 They turned my fiancé into a rat!
我不干了 我退出 I'm over it, I'm out.
别急 笨蛋 Hold your red horses, goobs.
如果你退出 为什么你的酿酒厂是拉丁语的去死吧科沃 If you're out, then why is your brewery called Die Korvo in Latin?
出去 Get out!
为什么啤酒名字都充满暴力和辱骂 And why are all your beer names so violent and abusive?
小麦啤酒叫做 科沃还活着吗 Hefewei Is Korvo Still Alive,
印度淡色艾尔啤酒叫做科沃脑袋里的子弹 斯特拉 IPA Bullet in Korvo's Head. Stella.
我说滚出去 I said get out!
带我去找虫子 Take me to the goobler.
为什么改主意了 What made you change your mind?
我可能已经放弃了杀科沃 I might be over killing Korvo,
但如果让另一个虫子代替我吃掉他 but god fuck me if I'll let another goobler eat him
那就惨了 instead of me.
我们合作吧 Works for me!
提醒你一下 车程有点长 Just gonna warn you. It's kind of a long drive.
你知道科沃和我在拉斯维加斯勾搭上了吗 So you know Korvo and I hooked up in Vegas?
你一定想知道 我是怎么做到的 I bet you're wondering how I did it,
因为科尔沃没有屁股 我也没有老二 since Korvo doesn't have a butt and I don't have a dick.
没关系 我不需要知道 Nah, it's okay, I don't need to know.
我在他屁股上挖了个小洞 I dug a little hole out of his butt
用洗发水瓶做阴茎 and used a shampoo bottle as a phallus.
- 它一直在掉 - 让我们听一听 - It kept falling off. - Let's just listen
乱七八糟的音乐 好吧 to some random-ass music, huh?
该死的 好吧 Oh, god damn it, fine.
我为自己的生活方式感到后悔 I regret the way I lived my life.
我骗自己说自己很强大 I lie to myself about being powerful,
但我又毒舌又霸道 but I'm just toxic and bossy,
正因为如此 我很孤独 and because of that, I'm alone.
你可以看到我有多难过 You can see how unhappy I am.
我是那个 I hate being the executive
决定埃克森美孚应该更关心利润而不是人的高管 who decided Exxon Mobil should care more
我讨厌自己 about profits than people.
对 就是我 Yeah, that was me!
也是我让胰岛素变得如此昂贵 I was also the one who made insulin cost so much,
虽然它基本上是免费制作的 though it's basically free to make.
我是人渣 I'm scum.
我是败类 I'm scum.
布兰迪小姐 发生了什么可怕的事情吗 Miss Brandy? Did something terrible happen?
这几天你没给我发任何种族歧视的短信 You haven't texted me anything racist in the last few days.
埃利斯 哦 埃利斯 Alice! Oh, Alice!
我会为你的癌症实验治疗买单 I'll pay for your experimental cancer treatments.
我会帮你拯救 我用输油管摧毁的村庄 I'll help save your village that I destroyed with that pipeline!
我想成为一个更好的人 I want to be a better person,
而这都要归功于这个奇怪的生物... and it's all thanks to this strange creature that...
也许它从未真正存在过 Maybe he was never really there.
从头到尾 都是我的良心在作怪 Oh! That whole time, it was my conscience.
我只是产生了幻觉 I was just hallucinating!
感觉怎么样 Oh! Is that good?
我不知道 但我现在很好 I don't know, but I'm nice now!
我给所有航空公司打电话 I'm calling all the airlines
让飞机座位都变得更大 and making every plane seat bigger!
我还以为会更像莉顿梅斯特的作品呢 Huh, I thought this would be more like Leighton Meester's
莉顿梅斯特的邻居海洋生物 Meester Rogers' Neighborhood For Sea Creatures
和丢弃它们的地方 and Where To Dump Them.
天哪 这些动物救援名人的名字 Geez, these celeb animal rescue names
真是让人汗颜 are getting pretty sweaty.
天啊 发生了什么 Oh, no! What's happening?
希望我的虫子没有再开杀戒 I hope my goobler didn't do a murder on anyone else!
天啊 不要 Oh, shit, yeah, no,
这绝对是一种压抑愤怒的虫子 that's definitely an anger repression goobler.
她会把其他人都吃掉 你留到最后 She's gonna consume everyone else and save you for last.
这就是他们的工作 That's what they do.
但我没有压抑 也没有愤怒 我很快乐 But I'm not repressed or angry. I'm happy!
在我们都死之前 你必须承认你有问题 You need to admit you've got a problem before we all die!
但我没有问题 肯定还有别的办法 But I don't have a problem! There has to be another way.
我想我可以试着和她谈谈 虫子之交 I guess I can try talking to her, goobler to goobler,
用我们的方式 using goobler speak.
疙瘩 疙瘩疙瘩疙瘩 Gooble. Gooble goo goo gooble goo!
疙瘩 疙瘩疙瘩疙瘩 Gooble goo goo gooble booble goo!
等等 我来了 Hold on! I'm coming!
杰西 靠你了 Jesse, it's up to you,
内心深处 你知道你在生谁的气 deep down you know who you're angry at!
大家好 Uh, hello, everybody.
杰西卡 你的虫子吃了我们 Jessica, your stupid goobler ate us,
现在你又把红虫子扯进来了 and now you brought the Red Goobler into it!
- 去死吧 - 去死吧 你这个粗鲁的家伙 - Get fucked! - You get fucked, you rude shit!
这都是你的错 你怎么这么差劲 This is all your fault! Why do you suck so much?
科沃 闭嘴... 闭嘴... Korvo, shut... shut...
骂他 杰西 发泄出来 Get him, Jesse! Let it out!
闭上你的臭嘴 科沃 Shut your filthy mouth, Korvo!
你在这里都是你自己的错 It's your fault you're in here!
如果你不是一直对我很刻薄的话 If you weren't being mean to me all the time,
我一开始就不会有虫子 I wouldn't have a fudgin' goobler in the first place.
因为我从不还手 你变成了一个恶霸 You've turned into a bully because I never fight back,
但现在都变了 but that changes now!
我不是恶霸 别想拿我开涮 I'm not a bully, don't try and turn this on me!
我还没说完 I'm not done!
你总是对我粗鲁 自私 刻薄 You're rude, selfish, and mean to me all the time!
但你只是讨厌自己 我们都知道这一点 But you just hate yourself, and we all know it!
你不喜欢我吗 You don't like me?
当然 我不喜欢你 No, I don't. I don't like you.
你烂透了 You suck.
我在家里做的一切 你从来都不领情 You never appreciate all the work I do around the house,
我和你一点情分都没有 and I never get a story with you ever!
好吧杰西卡 如果你冷静下来 我们可以培养 Fine, Jessica, we can have a story if you calm down.
别再叫我杰西卡了 我叫杰西 Stop calling me Jessica! My name is Jesse!
我们自由了 We're free!
我的虫子也没事 And my goobler's okay.
哦是的 宝贝 这才是好东西 Oh, yeah, baby, that's the good stuff.
杰西 表达出你的愤怒 Jesse, your anger.
会让虫子爆炸 Expressing it made your goobler explode.
是啊 如果你真的长大了 就会出现这种情况 Yeah, that's what happens if you actually show real growth.
那你为什么还在这里 Then why are you still around?
因为你是个近视眼 压力过大的废物 Because you're a myopic, stressed-out piece of shit.
没错 Right.
我意识到 如果你忍气吞声 I realized that if you swallow your anger,
会要了你的命 it will kill you.
所以我让她吞了我 然后我杀了她 So I let her swallow me and I killed her.
等等 你不是真的生我的气吧 Wait, so you're not actually angry with me?
哦 我生气了 科沃 去死吧 Oh, I'm angry. Korvo, get fucked!
我真为你感到骄傲 I'm so proud of you!
谢谢帮助 克里斯 Thanks for the help, Chris.
没有你的专业知识 我永远无法 I never could have channeled my rage at Korvo
发泄出我对科沃的愤怒 without your expertise.
正如虫子国王所说 疙瘩疙瘩疙 As the King Goobler says, oobie goobie goo!
他是说虫子国王吗 这他妈是什么 Did he say King Goobler? What the fuck is that?
看来我所有的朋友都喜欢和你一起工作 Looks like all my goobies love working with you.
你知道吗 今天杰西教会了我要忠于自己的感情 You know, today Jesse taught me to be true to my feelings.
你现在安全了 You're safe now,
但我会追捕你 杀了你 but I will hunt you down and I will kill you.
别威胁我 Don't you threaten me.
我已经做了 你这个贱人 I already did, you big bitch.
哦是吗 你猜怎么着 你永远杀不了我 Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? You'll never kill me.
我太快太聪明了 I'm too fast and too smart.
轮到我说了 And it's my turn to say,
去死吧 get fucked!
我的腿 天啊 真他妈疼 My leg! Oh, Jesus Christ, it fucking hurts!
救命 Help!
我的腿被锯齿状的玻璃刺伤了 I stabbed my leg on the jagged glass.
我能感觉到它在刮我的身体 而不是骨头 I can feel it scraping the thing I have instead of a bone!
他妈的 他流了很多血 Holy fuck, he's losing a lot of blood.
- 我们应该让他下来吗 - 当然 当然要 - Should we get him down? - Yes! Of course, we should!
等下就去 In a minute.
蛹宝宝 有什么发现 Oh. Hey, Pupa, what you got?
我想成为一个更好的人 I wanna be a better person!
妈的 蛹宝宝 你成功了 Shit, Pupes! You did it!
你为人类做了一件好事 而不是为了糖果耍花招 You did something good for humanity instead of scheming for candy!
等等 你已经有三百万订阅者了 Hold on, you already have three million subscribers
还有星爆糖赞助 and a Starburst sponsorship?
科沃: 嗷 好疼 KORVO: Ow, ow! It hurts!
蛹宝宝 回来 Pupa, get back here!
你怎么把这变成了对我混蛋的公投 How did you turn this into a referendum on me being a dick?
这是杰西的故事 为什么要惩罚我 This was a Jesse story! Why am I being punished?
这不公平 It's not fair! Ow! Ow!
疙疙瘩瘩疙 去死吧 Goobie goobie dooby, get fucked!
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