1985年 小约翰·本内特 narrator: In 1985, little John Bennett
向流星许愿 wished on a shooting star
希望自己的泰迪熊能活过来 that his teddy bear would come to life.
神奇的是 他的愿望成真了 Magically, it happened.
泰迪随即走红全球成了现象级明星 Ted was an instant, worldwide phenomenon.
但如今 时间来到了1993年 But now, it's 1993.
和所有爆火的事物一样 And like every phenomenon,
最终都会过气 eventually, nobody gives a shit.
我的言语懈怠 * My words are lazy J
我的思绪朦胧 J My thoughts are hazy J
但有一件事我确定 But this is one thing I'm sure of J
所有人都需要一个好朋友 J Everybody needs a best friend
很开心我是你的好朋友 I'm happy I'm yours ∫
本剧字幕由擦枪字幕组原创译制
SONY
草不动了我来弄弄看 Fuck, it's not working. Here, let me try something,
你得吹吹 You got to blow on it.
我正要吹 That's what I'm doing.
不不 你得用力吹 No, no, you got to like really blow on it.
拿来 Here.
哟 以后被你这么吹的男人不得舒服死 Wow, you are going to make some guy very happy one day
滚一边去 Fuck off.
再来一次 要有眼神交流 Try it again with eye contact.
滚蛋吧 Fuck you, man.
看看好了没 See if it works.
SONY
好了 蘑菇王国 All right, Mushroom Kingdom.
看到我的车钥匙了吗 Anybody seen my car keys?
刚才在地上呢 Yeah, they were on the floor
老爸踩到了还生气了 Dad stepped on them and got mad.
他把我的钥匙怎么了 What'd he do with'em?
应该是扔了吧 Think he threw'em.
我去 Shit.
马里奥和路易吉本来就是小锉子吗 Hey, are Mario and Luigi supposed to be midgets?
什么意思 What do you mean?
他们也太矮了 They're wicked short.
他们的角色设计的就是 Like, is it part of their character
小矮子吗还是 that they're midgets, or is
老天爷 你是认真的吗 Jesus Christ. Seriously?
怎么了 What?
矮个子 Little people.
对啊 我问的就是这个 Yeah, that's why I'm asking
他们本来就是小锉子吗 Are they supposed to be midgets?
你不能说小锉子 你得说矮个子 You don't say "midget." You say "little people."
一小锉子很冒犯的一为什么 " Midget " is rude. - Why is it rude?
因为就是很冒犯啊 这就是个烂词 Because it just is. It's a fucked-up word
如果你身高不高 有人叫你小锉子 I mean, how would you like it if you were a little person
你会怎么想 and : someone called you that?
严格意义上来说 我确实 Well, I mean, technically -
-这不一样-怎么不一样了 - That's not the same. - Why not?
你是个泰迪熊 You're a teddy bear.
那又怎样 有什么关系呢 So what? Doesn't matter.
对对 这么说吧我就是个小锉子 Yeah, yeah, you know what? I am a midget
就不麻烦你教导我们小锉子 And I will thank you not to tell our community
怎么说话了 how to use our word
干得漂亮泰迪 Well done, Teddy.
谢谢 Thank you.
苏珊 就说一次嘛 Susan, just say it once.
不-就一次 - Nope. - Just one time.
-不-她不会说的 - No. - She's not going to do it.
来嘛 就说个草 Come on, just one "fuck."
不 她不想下地狱 No, she doesn't want to go to hell
说嘛苏珊 Come on, Susan.
我不用说这种话 也能表达自己的想法 I can express myself without that kind of language
谢谢了 拜托了 我们在打赌呢 Thank you. - Come on, we got a bet going.
就一次-打什么赌 Just one time. - What's the bet?
赌泰迪能让妈妈说脏话 Oh, that Ted can get Mom to swear.
哟呵 太特么成熟了 Oh, wow, so fucking adult.
艾 我们在吃晚饭呢 Hey, we're at dinner.
就说个我草 Just say "shit.'
我去 Shoot.
竖个中指也行 Just give us the finger
竖了 There's your finger.
说波兰佬 Say " Polack."
泰迪不是吧 Ted, really?
这又不是种族 有什么不能说的 It's not a race. You can say it.
对啊 不就是一群人吗 Yeah, it's just a bunch of guys.
好了赶紧吃晚饭吧 家人们 OK, just eat your supper, fellas.
她不会说脏话的 She's not going to swear, man.
我赢了-草 I win. - Ah, fuck.
给钱 Pay up.
谢了 Thank you.
你都没穿裤子 哪掏出来的钱 Wait, you're not wearing pants. Where'd you get this?
我怎么装东西用不着你操心 Don't you worry about where I'm keeping stuff.
马蒂亲爱的 这都第四瓶了 Matty, honey, that's your fourth beer.
对 我今天过得太糟心了 Yeah, I had a shit day.
四瓶啤酒对于波士顿人来说就相当于一瓶 Yeah, four is like a Boston one.
没问题的 He's OK.
真遗憾你今天过得不顺利 亲爱的 I'm sorry your day was hard, honey.
你遗憾有什么用又修不好车 Yeah, well, sorry doesn't fix the car.
车怎么了爸爸 What happened to the car, Dad?
后挡泥板撞烂了 Whole rear fender got smashed.
严重吗 Well, how bad is it?
至少得400刀 It's go ing to be at least 40o bucks.
-谁撞的-我没看见 - Who hit it? - I didn't see.
但我当时停在香港自助餐厅外面 所以 But I was parked outside the Hong Kong buffet, so.
你们懂的 Do the math.
等等 你什么意思 I'm sorry, what?
我就说说嘛 I'm just saying.
这也太扯淡了 Wow, that is such complete bullshit.
哎 大家在吃晚饭呢 Hey, we're at dinner.
这就是毫无道理的刻板印象啊 It's a bullshit stereotype.
和我的车说去吧 Tell that to my car.
上帝啊 Swear to God
这家人太落后了 this whole household is so goddamn backward.
泰迪今天下午说了两个悔辱词 Ted has used two derogatory terms this afternoon.
你现在又来掺一脚 And then there you go
发表如此无知的言论 topping it off with that ignorant comment.
我就说了个小锉子另一个是啥 I said "midget." What was the other one?
我不知道 Yeah, I don't know.
你和我的家人生活在我的家里 You're living in my house with my family,
吃我们的食物 喝我们的牛奶 eating our food, and drinking our milk.
看不惯就自己受着吧 Tough shit if you don't like it.
这这太好了 That's just --that's great.
很开心你没有把我 I'm so glad you don't count me
看作家庭一员马蒂叔叔 as a member of the family, Uncle Matty.
是不是波兰佬啊 May be " Polack "?
不 不可能是这个词 这词多好呀 No, couldn't be that. That one's fine.
布莱尔 你当然是这个家庭的一份子 Blaire, you are absolutely a member of this family.
马蒂和她道歉 Matty, tell her you're sorry.
他怎么可能道歉 Of course he won't.
要是道歉了不就承认我是对的了吗 Because if he did, he'd be admitting I'm right,
也承认了他就是个典型的波士顿种族主义者 which would also be admitting he is a classic Boston racist.
我不是种族主义者 I'm not a racist!
我最爱的电影可是《洛奇》 My favorite movie is " Rocky.'
这有什么关系吗 How the fuck does that make you not racist?
里面有阿波罗·克里德啊 Uh, Apollo Creed is in the movie.
所以呢 So?
他是个黑人 打赢了白人 So he's a Black guy who wins against a white guy.
我勒个天啊 Oh, my God.
当然前提是把意大利人看作白人 I mean, it's assuming you count Italians as whites,
我一般都这么看 which I mostly do.
20世纪60年代以前 他们不算是白人 Of course, they were n't white up until the 1960s
朝鲜战争后 他们的地位得到了很大提升 They got a big bump after Korea.
他们也没变得有多白 And it wasn't so much they got more white,
古巴人也没变得有多黑但我也都接受了嘛 the Cubans got more Black, but I was OK with that too.
这就是你在罗尼婚礼上的敬酒词吧 Isn't this the toast
所以你才被赶了出来 that got you kicked out of Ronny's wedding?
再说一次我当时就是想解释 Again, I was explaining
为什么他和一个意大利人结婚是没有问题的 why it was OK that he married an Italian.
老天爷啊 Jesus Christ.
你这不就是论证了我的观点吗 You are literally proving my point.
你特么就是个大号的种族主义者 You are a raging fuckin'racist.
喂 我们在吃晚饭呢 Hey, we're at dinner.
公平地说 布莱尔 你也会种族歧视 Well, in fairness, Blaire, you can be racist too.
什么 What? - Mm-hmm.
不不可能 No, I'm not.
你还记得你小时候吗 Do you remember when you were a little girl?
你会剪掉芭比娃娃的头发 You used to cut the hair off your Barbies?
然后呢 Yes?
你会先剪掉黑芭比的头发 You used to cut the Black Barbie's hair off first
看看好不好看 to see how it looked
不是吧 你说真的吗 Oh, come on. Are you serious with that?
如果你觉得喜欢 And then if you liked it
才会下手剪白芭比的头发 then you'd cut the white Barbie's hair.
你也有点种族歧视哦 布莱尔 So you're a little racist too, Blaire.
哇哦 这比今天发生的所有事情 Wow, that is weirdly so much more damning
都更值得被遣责 than anything else today.
她很小就开始这样了 And it started when she was very young too.
你们特么不是认真的吧 Are you guys for fucking real right now?
这和变态纳粹医生的狗屁言论没什么两样 I mean, that is some sick Nazi doctor shit right there.
你有没有呢 Did you?
有没有什么 What?
有没有先剪掉黑芭比的头发 Did you cut the Black Barbie's hair first?
好吧对 我是会先剪黑芭比的头发 Fine, yes, OK, I cut the Black Barbie's hair, yes.
我才八岁好吧 I was eight years old, OK?
我啥也不懂 I didn't fucking know any better.
黑芭比叫什么 What was the Black Barbie's name?
我不记得了 一 哟吼 这下更糟了 - I don't remember. - Oh, it gets even worse!
我去她不记得黑芭比的名字了 Oh, my God, she can't remember the Black Barbie's name.
但我平等地爱着两个芭比 But I still love both Barbies equally.
平等且分别地爱着-对对 And separately? - Yeah, yeah.
你的芭比梦幻屋里的泳池 What was the water fountain situation like
是怎么搭的-对 是不是给 at the Dream House? - Yeah, was there like
黑芭比开了一个特殊入口 a special entrance for the Black Barbie?
听着 - Look -- - Oh.
是不是还给它起名为"我有一个梦幻屋 Did you call it the " I Have a Dream House "?
啊哈 我就是个孩子 A-ha! - OK, I was a fucking child.
好吧我至少还有这么个理由 All right? At least I have that excuse.
而你们都是成年人了 You guys are adults.
你们知道问题出在哪吗 You know what the problem is?
教育 Education.
这个家里的人太缺乏教育了 There is a complete lack of education in this family.
不对我有上学啊 That's not true. I go to school.
我在上陶艺课 I'm taking a pottery class
那泰迪呢 What about Ted? Hmm?
这辈子没有接受过一天教育 He's never had a day of education in his life,
从他说波兰佬就看得出来 and it shows, using words like " Polack."
就是波兰佬 Oh, it was " Polack."
老师说我做的烟灰缸很有天赋 The teacher says my ashtray shows promise.
你应该每天和约翰一起上学 You should be going to school every day with John.
学点东西 You'd learn something.
或许就不会发表这些无知言论了 And maybe you wouldn't make all these ignorant comments.
不用了 Uh, yeah, no thanks.
为什么 Why not?
因为 Because.
电视 TV.
苏珊阿姨 帮我说说 Aunt Suze, help me out.
泰迪说不定会很有意思的 Well, Ted, you might have fun.
而且约翰肯定愿意你陪他一起上学 And I'm sure John would love to have you there
不不我不会开心的 No, no, I would not have fun.
《价格竟猜》早上10 点开播 And " The Price is Right " is on at 10:00 a. m.
我会错过炫光接球环节的 and I'd miss Plinko
而且约翰尼这么尊重我他不会希望我错过的 and Johnny respects me too much to want me to do that.
确实 我尊重他 • I do. I respect him.
我回家以后他会把炫光接球环节发生的事都告诉我 He tells me all about Plinko when I get home.
你这借口太烂了 That is such a cop-out.
你们不在家时我要看着房子 Look, I guard the house when you guys are out.
哪有啊 You do not.
-有啊-怎么看 - Yeah, I do. - How?
如果有人闯进来 你会怎么办 If somebody broke in, what would you do?
我会告诉他后院里有好多好东西 I--I would tell him all the good stuff's in the backyard
等他出到院子里 就把门锁上 and then I'd lock the door behind him.
这纯纯的浪费时间 我还约了莎拉 This is pointless. I have plans with Sarah.
今天的炫光接球太好看了 Oh, Plinko was wonderful today.
炫光接球绝对是《价格经常》里最棒的游戏 Plinko is the best " Price is Right " game.
是
我们住在特别的年代 We live in such special times.
到目前为止共1000美元 $1, 000 total thus far.
-天-第三个是 - Oh, God. - Third one is...
天 Oh, God.
卧草草草草 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
靠靠靠靠靠 fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
耶我的天 Yes! Ah! Oh, my God!
我想找人叨逼叨两句 I want to tell somebody.
算了没事 No, it's OK. It's all right
就成为我独享的一刻吧 This will be my moment.
好吧又是独自在家的一天 All right, another day with the house to myself
玩点什么好呢 玩什么 玩什么 What's fun? What's fun? What's fun? What's fun?
对了 去看看能不能找到马蒂藏的小黄片儿 Oh, let's see if we can find where Matty hides his porn.
天什么都没有吗 Jesus, he's got nothing?
结婚25年居然都没有小黄片儿 25 years of marriage and no porn,
要我干脆一枪毙了自己 I'd put a bullet in my head
找到了 Oh, here we go.
谈什么持枪权 Oh, talk about the right to bear arms.
持(熊)枪的熊哈 Bear arms bearing arms, right?
天这么好笑的笑话大家都错过了 Oh, man, everybody's missing all this great stuff
等会儿我知道该怎么玩了 Oh, wait. Oh, I know what to do with this
太帅了 Awesome!
幸好我在家里试玩了这个 Oh, I am so glad I tried this at home
什么鬼啊 What the hell was that?
没事的菲驰克太太 Oh, it's Ok, Mrs. Fechko.
我只是在做个科学实验 I'm just doing a science experiment.
你拿的是枪吗 Is that a gun?
它是有这么个功能 I mean, that's one function of it, yeah.
那你开枪打啥呢 Well, what are you shooting at?
没啥 Nothing.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
确定 Yeah.
好吧 All right.
我去 Ah, fuck.
那俄罗斯拳击手拥有各种科技对吧 The Russian boxer has all this technology, right?
但是洛奇在山上呢 But Rocky's way up in the mountains.
他只有些滚木啊什么的 And all he's got is, like, logs and shit.
这相差太悬殊了 因为俄国人 So it's wicked uneven because the Russians
把德拉戈身体的各个部分都用机器武装起来了 have machines for, like, every part of Drago's body.
但你知道他们哪部分没有机器吗 But you know what part they don't have a machine for?
这里 就在这 This guy, right here
你真该看看 Aw, you should have seen it.
我现在应该也能看 听上去他们都拍电影了 I'm sure I still can. It sounds like they film ed it.
我不明白了一开始聊的堕胎 I don't know how we started talking about abortion
最后怎么聊到这了 and ended up here.
明天我不用接你对吧 I don't have to pick you up tomorrow, right?
不用我租了车 No, I got the rental.
我勒个去 What the fuck?
嘿马蒂嘿布莱尔 Oh. Hey, Matty. Hey, Blaire.
你特么搞啥呢 What the fuck is this?
这是小蛋糕水蜜桃 Oh, this is Cupcake, Peaches,
还有俄式牛柳丝 and Beef Stroganoff
嗨 Hi.
电视怎么回事 What happened to the TV?
哦我不小心开枪打的 Oh, I accidentally shot it.
你开枪打的 You shot it?
是然后我感觉特别内疚 Yeah, and I felt really bad about it
后来我就说 嘿 泰迪 就是个意外嘛 And then I was like, " Hey, Ted, it was an accident.
别再为难自己了 " Stop being so hard on yourself
发生这种事已经够糟糕了 " It's bad enough that it happened
就算你难过也改变不了结果 You feeling bad's not going to fix it.
于是我叫了这些女士们来陪我 So I called these ladies
因为我想让自己觉得好过些 because I was trying to make myself feel better.
果然可以 我现在就是觉得好多了 And I do. I feel better.
看见没如果他去上学 See, this is the kind of shit
就不会发生这些烂事了 that wouldn't happen if he was in school
等等啥 Wait, what?
你给我去上学 You're going to school.
等会 别这样 你这就反应过度了吧 Wait, hang on. That is a serious overreaction.
你给我去上学 You're going to school,
好特么给我长点脑子 and you're going to grow a fucking brain!
不是吧 Oh, come on!
有脑子多性感啊 I think brains are sexy.
闭嘴吧 牛柳丝 Shut up, Beef.
约翰尼 你醒着呢吗 Hey, Johnny, you awake?
嗯 Yeah.
我打飞机呢 I was just jerking off
啥 What?
安啦逗你玩的 Relax, I'm fucking with you.
我去 Holy Jesus.
等等我在房间里时 Wait, you're -- you don't do that
你不会那么做吧 when I'm in the room, right?
不会 No.
通常不会 但如果你在睡觉的话 Not usually. I mean, if you're asleep.
靠所以我才会梦到西班牙大帆船是吧 Oh, shit, that's why I had the Spanish galleon dream.
什么 What?
有天晚上我梦到 I had a dream the other night
自己在西班牙奴隶贩奴船上划船 that I was rowing on a Spanish slave ship.
然后那个敲鼓的家伙越敲越快 And the guy on the drums was pounding faster and faster.
于是我就跳窗逃跑了 And so I escaped by jumping out a window,
然后我游到了一个荒岛 and I swam to a desert island
等我上了岸 And when I came ashore,
你就在那打飞机呢 there you were jerking off
所以我才会做这个梦 That's probably why I had that dream.
好吧晚安 OK, goodnight.
约翰尼上学这事有多糟糕 Johnny, how bad is school going to suck?
你肯定不会喜欢的 You're not going to like it.
有多糟糕 How bad?
你刷牙后喝过橙汁吗 You ever drink orange juice after brushing your teeth?
喝过 Yeah.
就像把你的蛋蛋 Well, it's like
撞到一起 撞得太厉害 getting your nuts smashed together so hard,
以至于两个蛋蛋变成了一个 they become just one nut.
我勒个去 天天都这样吗 Holy shit. And that's every day?
每一天 That's every single day.
但如果你死于酒驾事故 But if you die in a drunk driving accident
年鉴上能给你留一整页 you get a whole page in the yearbook.
真不是《晚安月亮》那种助眠故事 Not quite " Good night Moon,'
明天见吧 but I'll see you in the morning
什么玩意儿 This sucks.
我们一整天都要背着这么个破包到处走吗 We got to lug these things around all day?
嗯差不多吧 Yeah, pretty much.
-看上去好蠢-还好吧 -We look stupid.-Nah, we're fine
看起来像是自杀式炸弹袭击者犹豫不决的样儿 We look like suicide bombers having second thoughts.
赶紧给我闭嘴吧 Shut the fuck up.
在这可不能拿炸弹开玩笑 You can't joke about bombs here.
我问你件事吧 Now let me ask you something
你有没有觉得 You ever get self-conscious
自己的学校里只有白人 being the only white guy at your school?
不知道 我们住在波士顿郊区 I dunno, we live in a Boston suburb.
去年来了个印度同学 Oh, last year, we had an Indian kid.
是吗 Oh, yeah?
嗯 但是被他们给搞掉了 Yeah, but they got him.
什么意思 What does that mean?
我也喜欢他 I liked him too
什么叫 他们给搞掉了 What do you mean "they got him "?
他以前总分我饼干吃 He used to share his Dunk a roos.
-好人来着-去它的吧约翰尼 Good guy. - Fuck this, Johnny.
这么着吧 我也要想办法被开除 You know what? I'm going to get expelled.
因为啥 For what?
我现在还不知道 但我会想个主意出来的 I don't know yet. I'll come up with something.
不是吧 你要想办法故意被开除吗 Wait, you're going to try and get kicked out?
只有这个办法了 我还想回家看卡片王呢 It's the only way. I'm missing " Card Sharks."
看啊伙计 Dude, look.
她来了 There she is.
啥 What?
靠那谁啊 Holy shit, who is that?
贝瑟尼的姐姐 Bethany's sister.
她在艾默生上学 世界上最性感的妞儿 She goes to Emerson. Hottest chick on the planet.
天 她叫什么名字啊 Jesus, what's her name?
-什么 不可能-就是 - What? No. - Yep.
希拉 -Sheila?- Uh-huh.
上帝是特么开了个什么恶毒的玩笑啊 What the fuck kind of malevolent God would do that?
是啊 就像她父母知道她生出来就会这么性感似的 Yeah, it's like her parents knew she was going to be hot,
他们想稍微平衡一下 and they wanted to level the field.
反应快点本内特 Think fast, Bennett!
漂亮 Nice!
-草-嘿蠢货 - Fuck. - Hey, dork.
这特么是什么东西 What the fuck you go t here?
你把玩偶拿到学校来了 You're bringing your dolls to school?
去你妈的克莱夫 Hey, fuck you, Clive.
天王八蛋 Oh, God, you motherfucker
这家伙谁啊-克莱夫
泰迪熊不错啊本内特 Nice teddy bear, Bennett.
你的小毯子也带来了吗 You got your blankie to o? Ooh.
你这是想搞个酷儿全套是吗 You must be going full gay on us, huh?
我早就知道你是个酷儿 I always knew you were a big queer.
我不想在这猜测谁才是男同 You know, I don't want to speculate on who's gay,
但你刚才不是摸了他老二两次吗 but didn't you just touch his penis twice?
嘿 听着 这没什么可不好意思的 Hey, listen, man, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
都90年代了 时代不同了 It's the'90s. Times are changing
嘿还有人是同吗 Hey, anybody else here gay?
感觉如何 How is it?
棒啊-老给力了 - It's great. - It's the fucking tits
看见没评论都出来了 See? There you go. The reviews are in.
那你也是个蠢货 You're still a fucking dork
嘿蠢货 Hey, what a dork o.
走吧 Let's go.
嘿泰迪 Hey, you know what, Teddy?
我觉得你在这我还挺高兴的 I think I'm really glad you're here
行吧谢了 Yeah, thanks.
但我还是打算被开除 I'm still going to get kicked out.
我知道 I know.
从1814到1815 From 1814 to 1815, following the writing
在恰尔德·哈罗尔德游记之后 of " Child e Harold's Pilgrimage,
拜伦勋爵成了伦敦摄政时期的祝酒词 Lord Byron was the toast of Regency London.
在这期间 他写了 《柯林斯围攻》 During g this period, he wrote " The Siege of Corinth,
《阿比多斯的新娘》还有什么 " The Bride of Abydos," and what else?
-阿曼达 《特拉契那》 Amanda. - " Terracina.
没错看来有人学习了 Yes. Someone did the homework
非常好 Very good.
我觉得这家伙从上课开始就掉了40根头发 I think this guy's lost 40 hairs since class started.
真奇怪是不是 It's weird, right?
感觉不是用掉的 It's like they're not falling out.
而是用跳的 They're jumping out.
你能把我这句诗补完吗 Can you complete this verse?
她如美好走近 宛如万里无云的夜晚 " She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes
和星空 'and starry skies.
就连黑暗和光亮都是最好的 And all that's best of dark and bright..."
你老婆在上别人 Your wife is fucking other guys.
你觉得自己很搞笑是吗 You think you're funny, but you know what?
因为我老婆和我的确遇到了一些问题 because my wife and I are having problems.
-哦-没错了 - Oh. - Yeah.
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我老婆去年劈腿了 Um, my wife had an affair last year.
我们俩努力想恢复关系 And we've both tried to recover,
但事实是 我们俩都没法忘记那段经历 but fact is, neither one of us has been able to forget it.
于是我每天来到这就好像我的生活很不错的样子 So I come in here every day acting like my life is great
但实际上我的日子糟糕透顶了 when, in reality, it's a train wreck.
我儿子不尊重我 My own son doesn't respect his father,
所以沦为笑柄的是你搞笑仔 so joke's on you, funny man.
我不怎么觉得自己就沦为笑柄了呢 Not really quite sure how the joke's on me,
可 那现在在笑的是谁呢 but --- Who's laughing now?
那个 我觉得我还在笑可是 I mean, I think I still am, but
生活是伴随着无数苦痛的 孩子们 Life comes with a lot of pain, kids.
所以你最好现在就知道这些 So better you learn that right now
然后给内心锻炼出坚硬厚实的老茧 and develop some nice, hard calluses over your feelings.
我女儿正在经历怀孕焦虑症 My daughter is having a pregnancy scare.
有人想聊聊这个吗 Anyone want to talk about that?
咱们就来聊一聊 Well, we're gonna talk about it!
她上次月经是在五周前 Her last period was five weeks ago!
我知道 是因为 I know this because
这个家里只有我负责去买卫生棉条 I'm the only one in the house who buys tampons
我感觉你不会把乔治先生搞崩溃的 Yeah, I don't think you're going to break Mr. George.
他已经是团乱麻了 He's already too messed up.
我看出来了 Yeah, I see that.
那你要怎么办呢 So what are you going to do?
你要怎么被开除 How are you going to get kicked out?
多拿些香肠过来 Better put some more franks on.
好的 MIT N All right.
我是小香肠之王 I'm the king of the wieners!
泰迪·本内特请到校长办公室 Ted Bennett, please report to the principal's office.
我这就去哦 Well, don't mind if I do.
泰迪 你知道我上份工作是做什么的吗 Ted, do you know where my last job was?
你是演过《夜间法庭》吗 Um, were you on " Night Court "?
不是的 No.
我是多切斯特高中的校长 I was principal at Dorchester High
哦该死 Oh, shit.
等等 他们的吉祥物不是个拿着刀的人吗 Wait, isn't their mascot just a guy with a knife?
严格来说 斯特伯斯是个海盗 Technically, Stabbers was a pirate.
不过这的确有些不像话 But yes, it was a little rough.
我听说有个女学生 I heard there was one girl there
只比自己祖孙女大八岁 who was only eight years older than her own granddaughter.
的确是这样 I'm afraid that's true.
这怎么可能 Well, how'd that work?
这涉及到国际日期变更线 Oh, it involved the International Date Line
不过重点是 But the point is
我见过太多学生 I watched a lot of students stumble
根本没有好好学习 在学校漫无目的浑浑噩噩 and drift through the system to come out on the other side
也度过了义务教育 without any real education.
有些人做了和你一样的事 Some of them did what you're doing
挑战学校的底线 叛逆违反校规 testing the boundaries, rebelling
希望能被劝退 hoping to get cut loose.
好吧 OK.
我不会让那种事在这里发生 Well, I'm not going to let the same thing happen here.
行吧我已经不想听下去了 Love that. Don't like where this is going
你会成为一个完美范例 You're going to be an example.
我不会停学或是做出任何惩罚 I'm not going to suspend you or anything else.
我们要将你打造成一个成功的学生 We are going to make a successful student out of you
你稍等一下 Now hang on a second -
你是最完美的选择 And you're the perfect choice.
如果你还想捣乱 告诉你 这样做 So if you want to act up again, just know if you do,
也不会改变你的现状 it's not going to change your situation.
你确定就选我了吗 Oh, man, are you sure I'm the right guy?
有个肥仔很喜欢摸鸡偷狗 There's a fat kid who likes to touch dicks
你上课要迟到了 You're late for class.
要不我直接告诉马蒂让他滚蛋 May be I could just tell Matty to go fuck himself.
不行的伙计 我爸是个虐待狂 No way, dude, my dad's a sadist.
他觉得去打越站很好玩 He thought Vietnam was fun.
天哪真的吗 Jesus, really?
是啊 直升机把他接走时 Yeah, he cried when the helicopters came
他还哭了呢 to pick him up.
可别惹恼了他 You don't want to piss him off, man.
他会把你扔出家门 He'll kick you out of the house.
你会饿肚子的 You'll starve.
这算什么该死的愿望 What the hell kind of fucked-up wish
让你的泰迪熊拥有生命 makes it so your teddy bear comes to life,
但他却还得吃东西 but he's still got to eat?
天哪她来了 Oh, man, there she is.
半小时后要去训练了 Yeah, we got practice in a half hour.
你看到了吗 Did you see that?
什么-那是条大麻烟 - What? - That was a joint.
哦天 Oh, shit.
泰迪 这个能让你离开学校 Teddy, that's your ticket out of here.
什么 什么意思 What? What do you mean?
只要抓到在学校吸毒 你退学就退定了 You get caught with drugs in school, you're gone
学校对这个零容忍 It's like zero tolerance here
哇哦 Oh, fuck, wow.
你有吸过大麻吗 Hey, you ever smoked weed?
-没有-我也是 - No. - Yeah, me neither.
真的吗 你那时红遍大江南北啊 Really? The whole time you were famous?
我害怕我的皮毛会被点着 Yeah, I was afraid my fur would catch on fire.
我身上又没用阻燃剂处理过 I got no flame retardant.
那也没关系 你不需要真的抽 All right, well, any way, you don't got to smoke it.
只需要拿着那个被抓到就好 You just got to get caught with it.
好极了咱们找她聊聊 Well, fuck, let's go talk to her.
你他妈逗我吧 You fucking kidding me?
我才不要和希拉·博格瓦特说话 I'm not going to talk to Sheila Borg wat.
博格瓦特 这姓比名字还难听 Borg wat? Fucking God, it just keeps getting worse.
不可能绝不 我才不要过去 No way, man. No, no. I'm not going over there.
拜托 约翰尼 你又不是要约她出去 Come on, Johnny, you're not asking her out.
只是要点大麻啊 You're just asking her for drugs
你说过你天天盯着她看 You said you stare at her every day
这是和她说话的绝佳理由啊 This is the perfect excuse to go talk to her.
不行 老兄 我已经帮了你这么多了 你自己去 No, man. I got you this far, you do it.
要是你不和我一起去 If you don't come with me,
我就告诉他你对着电视打飞机 I will tell her you masturbate to network television.
你个狗杂种 You motherfucker.
我会告诉她你看 《浪漫满屋》 I will tell her you watch " Full House'
然后对着洛莉·拉芙琳打飞机 so you can jerk off to Lori Loughlin,
但你也不知道那个场景会有久 but that you can't always predict how long the scene is,
所以有一半时间 你都是挑着长镜头干事儿的 so half the time, you ejaculate to an establishing shot
你敢 You wouldn't.
哦 洛莉哦洛莉 Oh, Lori, oh, Lori!
哦洛 该死 怎么切到雅致房间的镜头了 Oh, Lor --oh, fuck, a tasteful duplex
打扰一下 Excuse me.
嗨嗨我是 Hi. Uh, hi, I'm uh--
我是约翰·本内特 I'm John Bennett.
你好 Hi there.
你你才刚洗过手吗 Ooh, you just, uh, wash your hands?
恩 是刚才 有一会儿了 不是刚洗过 Uh, yeah, just when I -- you know, a while ago, not now.
我刚刚拉肚子了 I had diarrhea.
你好我是泰迪 Hi, I'm Ted.
我是希拉 I'm Sheila.
哦别这么扫兴 Oh, let's not ruin things.
听着 我们注意到你刚刚 Hey, listen, we couldn't help but notice
吸着个小烟 you were smoking a little pot
是啊 期中考试要到了 你懂 Yeah, midterms, you know?
怎么了 你要去告状吗 What, are you going to narc on me?
我们才不会批判别人的-不 绝不会 - Oh, we're not judging. - No, absolutely not.
不不不绝对不会 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
我和泰迪经常一起 Teddy and I often partake of.
嗨个一小下 el bowl
里面的大麻简直是 And the pot inside it, uh...
爽爽爽 cha-cha-cha.
我腹泻的也没多严重 It wasn't much diarrhea
能给我们点毒品吗 Can we have drugs, please?
你说什么 Sorry?
我们只是想弄点大麻 We're just -- we're looking to get some weed
我们想着或许你能帮上忙 We thought maybe you could help us out.
你有多大了 Yeah, uh, how old are you again?
十六岁半 16 1/2.
抱歉了 老弟 不可能的 Yeah, sorry, bro, that's not going to happen
不是给他的 是给我的 It's not for him. It's for me
我知道你不能给一个高中生大麻 Look, I get why you can't give a high school kid pot
但给一个会说话的泰迪熊有何不可呢 But talking teddy bears are all good, right?
俺们都爱吸大麻的 We all take drugs.
那些爱心熊们全都是瘾君子 The fucking Care Bears are all meth addicts
帕丁顿熊喜欢安眠酮 弗兹熊总磕可卡因 Paddington's on Qua a ludes, and Fozzie's a coke head.
你知道约翰·贝鲁西死的时候他就在场吗 You know he was in the room when John Belushi died?
听着 我不能帮你们 Look, I can't help you guys out.
不过要是你们愿意 我把我的毒品贩子介绍给你们 But if you want, I can hook you up with my connection.
这就太好了 Oh, that would be wonderful.
我想告诉你 你真是一位美丽动人的女士 雪莉 And might I say, you are a very beautiful woman, Shelly --
希拉 Sheila.
哦天我知道 Oh, God, I know.
好了就是这里了 All right, this is it.
这是我这个月的零花钱 All right, this is my allowance for the month.
要是老爸问起花哪儿去了 If Dad asks where it went,
就说我们去看了《辛德勒的名单》 we bought tickets to see " Schindler's List."
搞什么 那电影票才八块钱吧 What do you mean? That's only like 8 bucks.
该死 你说的对 Shit, you're right.
那剩下的干嘛了 Well, what did we do with the rest?
我们深受感动 就全捐给了犹太人慈善机构 Uh, we were so moved that we donated it to Jew causes.
我们真善良 That is so nice of us.
不如我们真的这样做好了 Maybe we should actually do that.
什么 你他妈是疯了吧 What, are you fucking crazy?
集中注意 我们要买毒品呢 Get your head in the game. We got drugs to buy.
该死抱歉 Shit, sorry.
进去以后要小心 Just be careful in there, OK?
听说有些毒贩子很狡 I hear some of these dealers can be sketchy.
小心别被一枪崩了 伙计 Just don't get shot, buddy.
放轻松了 我没事的 待会儿见 Will you relax? I'll be fine. I'll see you in a few.
嗨我来买大 Hi, I'm here for the weed --
他娘的不是吧 No fucking way.
泰迪 你怎么会来这儿 Ted, what the hell are you doing here?
-怎么会是你-谁给你的地址 - It's you? - Who gave you this address?
布莱尔竟然卖大麻 Fucking Blaire sell s pot?
老天啊 给我小声点 Jesus Christ. Lower your voice.
快进来 Get inside.
哦真是难以置信 Oh, un-fucking believable.
你到底想干嘛 The fuck do you want?
等等我连小锉子都不能说 你却能贩毒吗 Wait, so I can't say midget, but you can sell drugs?
你们闹什么呢 What's with all the noise?
这是谁 Who's this?
他是泰迪 This is Ted.
泰迪这是我朋友莎拉 Ted, this is my friend, Sarah.
布莱尔提到过你 Oh, yeah. Blaire mentioned you.
你就是那个八十年代活过来的泰迪熊 You're that teddy bear that came to life back in the'80s.
没错但从那之后我也做过很多事啊 Well, yeah, but I've done other stuff since then.
什么事 Like what?
我是《新马》里本·斯蒂勒的替身 Um, I was the stand-in for Ben Stiller in " Fresh Horses.
那人倒是没多高 Not a tall man.
嘿 你怎么会卖毒品的 Um, hey, how come you're selling weed anyway?
我和莎拉在她公寓这儿种的 Sarah and I grow it here in her apartment,
我们用这钱来付学费 and we're using the money to help pay for tuition.
泰迪 听我说 Ted, listen to me.
你不能告诉马蒂叔叔和苏珊阿姨好吗 You can not tell Uncle Matty and Aunt Suze, all right?
他们会把我扔出家门的 They will kick me out of the fucking house.
支付学费已经很艰难了 It's hard enough to pay for school.
我负担不起更高的租金了 I can't afford a higher rent too.
等等 马蒂竟然还收你租金 Wait. Matty charges you rent?
反正没自己找房子住贵 Not as much as I pay for an apartment,
但一个月也得两百块 but still, 20o bucks a month.
就车库里那一个阴森森的小房间吗 For that crappy room over the garage?
老天安妮·弗兰克都不会死在那种地方 Jesus, Anne Frank wouldn't be caught dead in that place.
我可以开这种玩笑的 I'm allowed to make that joke.
我和约翰尼还给犹太人捐款呢 Johnny and I donate to Jew causes.
但我还是需要住在那里 OK, well, I still need the room,
所以你一个字也不许说 so you can not say a fucking word.
听着 我不是来抓谁的包的 Hey, look, man, I'm not here to bust anybody
我只想要根大麻 I just want the ganja.
你以前从来没有抽过吧 You've never smoked before, have you?
你这 你说什么呢 What are you -- what are you talking about?
我当然抽过 我各种毒品都抽过 Yeah, I have. I do lots of drugs.
是吗比如呢 Yeah? Like what?
我现在就磕着可卡因呢 看 I'm on coke right now. See?
我彻底磕嗨了 我想写本小说 Grr! Oh, I'm so coked up I just wanna write a novel
见东西就想锤两拳 and punch everything!
开玩笑的 Ah, just kidding.
一点也不疼 因为我磕嗨了嘛 Doesn't hurt'cause on account of the coke
胡扯 Bullshit.
我也不知道我在说些什么 I don't know what I'm talking about.
求你们给我点大麻 Please, can I have marijuana?
好吧 你有现金吗 Fine. You got cash?
不行等等 莎拉 我们不能卖给他 No. Wait. Sarah, we're -- we're not selling him pot.
为什么-对啊 为什么 - Why not? - Yeah, why not?
你这是还没磕就嗨了吗 Uh, are you fucking high already?
你最好的朋友我的小表弟 Your best friend, my little cousin,
才16岁 is 16 years old.
我不会给他这机会的 I'm not gonna enable him.
我也不会的 Well, I'm not either.
我甚至都不会告诉他我有这个 I'm not even gonna tell him I have it.
这是给我的 布莱尔 我发誓 It's for me, Blaire. I swear to God
我什么时候骗过你 When have I ever lied to you?
就十秒钟之前你说你磕嗨了 Like ten seconds ago when you said you were on coke.
好吧1 但从那之后 我说的都是实话 Well, yeah. But since then, I've given it to you straight.
听着 布莱尔 我们需要钱 Look, Blaire. We need the money.
这有何不可呢 Why not just do it?
对啊布莱尔 That's right, Blaire.
你需要钱 我需要麻 You need the money, I need this.
听着 你知道作为 Look, do you have any idea what it's like
世界上最耀眼的明星 to be the biggest star in the world
却没人理踩你是什么感觉吗 and then nobody gives a shit about you?
我简直就是柯克·卡梅隆啊 I'm friggin'Kirk Cameron.
我还要逃避我的心魔 I gotta escape my demons,
那不是毒品也不是教堂 and it's either drugs or the church.
你知道他们会怎么对待我这个体型的人吗 You know what they do to guys my size?
求你了 我不想去给教堂的助祭口交 Oh, please, don't make me suck a deacon's dick!
我们得抽它 We should smoke it.
等等你说什么 Wait, what?
约翰尼这可是我离开学校的通行证 Johnny, this is my ticket out of school.
我知道不是全部都抽掉 Yeah, I know. I mean, not --not all of it.
就只是抽掉一点然后留一些给你完成计划 Just, you know, we smoke some and save some for the plan
约翰尼 我向布莱尔保证过这东西只给我用 Well, Johnny, I--I promised Blaire it was just for me.
泰迪 你好好想想 Teddy, think about it, all right?
我肯定是学校里唯一一个没抽过这个的学生了 I be t I'm the only kid in school who has n't smoked
我没抽过大麻没上过床 I haven't smoked. I haven't had sex.
连个女朋友都没有 I haven't had a girlfriend.
克莱夫说的对 我就是个失败者 C live's right. I'm a fucking loser.
你是我唯一真正的朋友了 I mean, you're like my only real friend,
这里就放着一包真正的大麻 and we're sitting here with real pot.
就在我们眼前 It's here in person.
今天或许就会是我成为酷盖的开始 This could be the day I start being cool.
今天是你告诉一个女孩你腹泻不止的日子才对 Yeah, today is the day you told a girl you had diarrhea.
别说的这么严重 Don't put too much weight on today.
- 等等 等等-怎么了 Wait. Hang on, hang on. - What?
我们几乎自出生起 Well, you and me have been best friends
就是最好的朋友 like our whole lives.
我们就要尝试人生第一次磕嗨了 We're about to get high together for the first time.
所以呢 Yeah, so?
要做就得认真些 Let's do this right.
抽前祷告吗 Should we say grace?
哦好主意 Oh, yeah, good idea.
上帝您老人家好 Hello, God.
我是泰迪 你最奇怪的作品之 It's me, Ted, one of your weirder creations.
我为今天所说的话道歉 Sorry about what I said today.
并不是说你的助祭不诱人 Not that your deacons aren't attractive,
但我的初口得留到结婚后 but I'm saving my mouth for marriage.
希望我们别嗨到要叫救护车 Let us not be so high that we have to call an ambulance.
阿门 Amen.
好了 Ok.
点火吧 Let there be light
我的朋友都会开低底盘车 ∫ All my friends know the low rider
低底盘车又有点高 J The low rider is a little higher J
美 Yeah.
美滴很呀 Hell yeah, man.
我真的好饿啊 I was so fucking hungry.
我也好饿 I was so hungry too. - Mm-hmm.
好奇怪啊 It's so weird.
这简直是这完美夜晚的 You know, this is like the perfect food
顿完美晚餐 for the perfect night.
谁发明的食物啊 那家伙堡了 Yeah, like who invented food? That guy rocks.
要是知道你俩会打扮的这么隆重 Well, if I knew you guys were going to get so gussied up
我就做些精致的饭点了 I would have made something fancier
不妈这样棒极了 No, Mom. This is perfect
这肉排香毁了 These are perfect Steak-Umms.
就在你手中 仔细感受一下 It's right here. Just --just feel it.
我能够感受到你注入其中的爱意妈 I can feel your love in this, Ma.
你这么爱吃我真高兴 I'm so happy you love it so much.
天哪 你们搞得好像这是 Jesus, you guys are acting like
高级海鲜餐厅的特色菜一样 it's to day's special at Legal Sea Food.
也就还行吧 It's fine.
我也觉得好吃极了 苏珊 I think it's delicious, Suze.
你们能相信吗 Can you guys believe
我们就坐在这里 that we're just, like, we're sitting here,
感受着一切 and we're, like, having an experience
同时感受着现实 and experiencing reality all at once.
嘿苏珊 Hey, Susan. iser
苏珊 我想说你找到最合适的发型了 Susan, I just wanna say you have found your hair cut.
真的吗 What, you think so?
是啊 是啊 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
你就这样到70岁 也依旧能美得的不可方物 You could ride this to 70, and you'd be fine.
我就只是拿了张蒂珀·戈尔的照片去美发沙龙 Well, I just took a picture of Tipper Gore into the salon,
说我知道不可能做的一模一样 and I said, now, I know it can't be like that,
但弄的越像越好 but try to get it as close as you can.
于是 And so well, uh --
蒂珀·戈尔才应该拿着你的照片去做头发呢 Tipper Gore should bring in a picture of you.
别说啦 Stop it.
今晚可真是 This night.
是煤气漏气把你们都搞疯魔了吗 Is there a fucking gas leak or something?
真有意思 It's funny
我把肉排全吃光了 还是很饿 I ate all those Steak-Umms, and I'm still hungry.
天哪这饼干太好吃了 Oh, fuck. These are so good.
太好吃了 So good.
看看这精致的花纹 And look at the intricate carvings.
是啊 Yeah.
这是光明会的玩意儿吗 Yeah, is this some Illuminati shit?
我听说是这样的 That's what I've heard.
就比如说如果你能解读奥利奥上的内容 Like, if you can decipher what's on an Oreo,
就能领会上帝的意念 you can know the mind of God.
我听说没有两片相同的奥利奥 I heard no two Oreos are alike.
和你谈话太有收获了 What a great conversation.
我他妈的就知道 I fucking knew it.
哦 被抓包了-嗨 布莱尔 - Oh, shit! - Hi, Blaire.
你们俩都磕嗨了 You guys are stoned.
听着布莱尔布莱尔情况有点复杂 Look, Blaire, Blaire, it's a little more complicated
你发誓了这个只给你自己用的 No, you fucking swore it was just for you.
好吧好吧 All right. OK.
我本不想拿出这个杀手铜的 I didn't wanna have to resort to this.
我爱你 I love you.
看 你不生我的气了吧 See? Now you're not mad at me anymore.
我可去你的吧 And fuck you, by the way.
我已经花了两周想 I've been trying for two weeks
劝苏珊换个发型了 to get Susan to fix that haircut
布莱尔听着这是我的错 Blaire, listen. It's my fault.
他有试着拦过我 是我非要这样做 He tried to say no, and I pressured him.
不不不你才16岁 No, no, no. You're 16, all right?
他是个会说话的泰迪熊这全是他的错 He's a talking teddy bear. It's his fucking fault.
听着 听着 咱们先放轻松 OK, look, look, look. I think if we al I just take
深吸几口气然后试着 a couple of deep breaths here and just try --
草 Fuck!
泰迪 Ted?
拜托你跑哪儿去了我只想谈谈 Come on, where the hell are you? I just want to talk.
胡说八道 Yeah, bullshit!
你怎么跑到上面去的 How the hell did you get up there?
从排水管爬上来的 Climbed the drainpipe
要不你还是先下来 OK, well, why don't you come on down here
我们好好讨论下现在的情况 and we can discuss the situation?
不行你肯定要搞死我的 No,'cause you're gonna come at me.
我不会的我保证 I-I'm not. I promise.
那不是我的错 It wasn't my fault.
我的天哪你们家孩子上房顶了 Oh, my God, your boy, he's on the roof!
没事的菲驰克太太 It's all right, Mrs. Fec hko.
我要打电话给消防队 I'll call the fire department!
真的没必要这样 That's really not necessary
但你家好大儿会掉下来的 But your son, he's gonna fall!
他不会的 He's not.
你不太明白 Yeah, there's a lot here
现在的情况菲驰克太太 you're not understanding, Mrs. Fechhko.
我的老天爷啊你不看新闻的吗 For God's sake, you've been listening to the news?
艾森豪威尔说我们都得待在屋里 Eisenhower says we all gotta stay inside!
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
泰迪快下来好吗 - Ted, get down here, OK?
我不想这样和你说话 I'm not gonna talk to you like this.
那就难办了 Yeah, well, tough shit.
我从现在起就住这儿了 I'm gonna live up here from now on.
这简直太疯狂了 你是疯了吧 That's insane. You're insane.
不我没有 No, I'm not.
我让约翰尼给我拿吃的 说不定还能拿点土 I'll get Johnny to bring me food and maybe even soil
我就能在雨漕里种庄稼了 so I can grow crops right here in the rain gutter
如果天气暖和到了丰收季节 And if the weather's temperate, by harvest season,
我就可以 I'll be able to --
草 Fuck!
你个小杂种你麻烦大了 OK, you little shit, you are in a lot of trouble.
听着这 Look, it was --
你给一个16岁的孩子大麻 You gave pot to a 16-year-old
你到底在想什么呢 I mean, what the fuck were you thinking?
想想好的一面他可乐在其中了 Well, on the bright side, he loved it.
那大麻我是卖给你的 I sold that pot to you.
那你真不该卖给我的 Yeah, you were wrong to do that.
现在让未成年表弟 You do realize I am now responsible
接触毒品就成了我的错了 for introducing drugs to my underage cousin?
我或许会惹上大麻烦的 I could be in really deep shit here.
亲娘 一直长这么高一定很酷吧 Boy, it must be cool being this tall all the time.
给我处理掉那些大麻不然我发誓 Get rid of that weed or so help me God,
我会把你扔进烘干机 you are going in the fucking dryer.
那有什么的我难道没进过烘干机 Oh, big deal. I've been in dryers.
我会把你放进马蒂的脏衣服堆里 I'll put you in a Matty load.
该死我听你的我听你的 OK, fuck. I'll do it. I'll do it.
我们把大麻藏在我的储物柜里 OK. So we plant the weed in my locker.
然后你去校长那里告发我 Then you go to the principal and rat me out.
她会来检查我的储物柜 然后我就能回家看电视了 She searches my locker, and boom, it's back to Plinko
好-先等等先等等 All right. - Not yet, not yet.
我们得等上课铃响 We gotta wait till the bell rings.
好抱歉 装的自然一点 - Yeah, sorry. - Just act normal.
我们现在只是俩小伙伴 Right now, we're just two guys
站在这儿聊聊天 standing here, having a conversation
好 Yeah.
聊什么 About what?
不知道 你最近看过什么电影 I don't know. Uh, what's the last movie you saw?
《劫后余生》-哪一部 - Uh, " Alive." - Which one's that?
是一个橄榄球队在70年代的安第斯山脉 Oh, it's the one where the rugby team crashes
发生空难1 他们没有食物了 in the And es in the'7 Os and they ran out of food
就只能吃掉彼此 so they had to eat each other.
你开玩笑吧-不: 这是真实事件 - You're kidding. - No, it's a true story.
像交易一样互相交换着生吃吗 Like --like, eat each other alive like they're trading?
就比如 我把手给你 你把脚给我 Like, you give me your hand, I give you my foot?
不 不是的 No, no.
就是有些人死在空难里了 It's like some of the guys died in the crash
然后活下来的人就得吃掉他们的尸体 and then the ones that survived had to eat the dead guys.
天哪 这我绝对做不到 Oh, man. Yeah, I--I couldn't do that.
我也是 Me neither, man.
再说了那全是男的 这就更糟了 Plus, it's all dudes, so it's even worse.
是啊 什么 Yeah --what?
全是男的啊 It's all dudes, you know?
吃脏兮兮的臭男人更 更恶心了 You're eating guys. It's like double gross.
我是说 Well, I mean --I mean,
我以为不管男女都会难以接受的 I would think it would be objectionable across the board.
不的确是只是相比而言 No, no. Yeah, it would. It's just like a hat on a hat
那如果你乘坐的飞机发生了空难 So if you were on a plane that crashed
汤姆·汉克斯和黛安·基顿也在上面 and Tom Hanks and Diane Keaton were on it too,
他们死了 你还活着 and they died and you survived,
你会先吃谁 who would you eat first?
除了他们飞机上就只有我一个人吗 Am I the only other person on the plane?
是的-机长呢 - Yeah. - What about the pilots?
是架实验飞机全自动的 It's an experimental aircraft, all automated.
也许这就是它坠毁的原因了 Well, maybe that's why it went down.
但这项技术还需要深入研究没错 But the technology still needed more study, yes
但五角大楼已经不耐烦了 but the Pentagon was getting impatient
想要个结果 所以就把发射时间提前 and they wanted results, so they pushed up the launch.
慢着 他们为什么不找个经验丰富的机组人员 Wait, why wouldn't they have a seasoned flight crew on board
而是找了两位演员呢 instead of two actors?
得过奥斯卡奖的演员 Oscar-winning actors.
有道理-这些可都是纳税人的钱 Fair enough. - These are taxpayer dollars.
他们需要引起公众兴趣 They need the public's interes
或者支持 以免资金枯竭 or support for the funding dries up
等等什么时候军方开始需要公众支持 Wait, since when does the military need public support
来资助实验飞机了 to fund experimental aircraft?
你是会吃汤姆·汉克斯还是戴安·基顿 Would you eat Tom Hanks or Diane Keaton?
我会从戴安吃起 I'd start with Diane
要还是没获救 and then if I didn't get rescued
就会去吃汤姆 I'd move on to Tom.
没错 看到没 Yeah, see?
我认为你能给出个答案这件事 I think it's weird that you have an opinion
本身就很奇怪 one way or the other.
好开始 东西给我 OK. Here we go. Let me have it.
天我们是真的要干这事了哈 Man, we really put a dent in this thing, didn't we?
这什么啊 Whoa. What have we got here?
靠 Oh, shit.
本内特 你也吸啊 Bennett, you partake?
还我克莱夫 Give it back, Clive.
约翰·本内特嗨了哦 John Bennett gets high.
也许你没我想象中的那么怂 May be you're not as much of a pussy as I thought.
那包大麻很重要 That is a very important bag of weed
现在 我知道上哪儿能搞到免费畅吸了 Now, I know where to get a free buzz.
谢啦兄弟 Thanks, Bud.
该死克莱夫 - God damn it, Clive
我们需要那包大麻 We need that weed!
泰迪 Teddy!
该死-泰迪 你没事吧 - Shit. - Teddy, are you OK?
你俩跟外面干嘛呢 What the hell are you two doing out here?
快去上课 Get to class now.
《227号公寓》烂透了 你也一样 Um, "227" sucks balls and so do you.
好吧 你知道我不是那个意思 O K, now, you know I didn't mean that.
我只是需要个被带进来的理由 I just needed a reason to be dragged in here.
听好 你说我什么都行 泰迪 Look, you can trash-talk me, Ted,
但谁都不能说珀尔·赛伊坏话 but nobody throws shade at Pearl Shay.
是 我道歉 Yes. I apologize.
我们都受益于她的独到见解 We have all benefited from her windowsill wisdom.
她就是个国宝 She is a national treasure.
但是听着 你一定要把我赶出学校 But listen, you gotta kick me out of school.
泰迪 我已经跟你说过了 Ted, I already told you.
我有大麻 I have weed.
什么 What?
我在这所学校里 I am in possession of marijuana
持有大麻 here on school premises.
能让我看下吗 May I see it?
我搞丢了 Well, I--I lost it.
丢了 You lost it?
是 但他有过大麻 好吗 Yeah, but --but he had weed, all right?
我作证 I'm a witness.
我得亲眼看到大麻 I would need to see the marijuana
才会给予处罚 for there to be consequences.
我们说的是真话 Look, we are telling you the truth.
是啊 我就是个害群之马 明白吗 Yea h, I'm a bad seed. See? Look.
我爱你 I love you.
毒品 Drugs!
我爱毒品 I love drugs.
抱歉 孩子们 I'm sorry, boys.
我不能就这么听取片面之词 I can't just take your word that you have pot.
太扯了 我感觉自己被排挤了 Ah, this is bullshit, man. I'm getting railroaded.
好吧 是这样 东西在克莱夫手上呢 好吧 All right, look, Clive has it, all right?
去看看吧-克莱夫 Go check. - Clive?
是 Yeah.
那么 如果在克莱夫那里那他才是有麻烦的那个 Well then, if Clive has it, he's the one in trouble.
不是 不是他的大麻 他不过是帮我收着而已 No, no. It's not his weed. He was just holding it for me.
好了 到此为止 OK. We're done here.
好吧没关系 All right. It's OK.
本熊还有后备计划 This motherfucking bear's got a backup plan.
好安全 All right, it's clear.
泰迪 我不喜欢这样 这叫偷窃 THE HI SS 705 RED Teddy, I don't like this. It's stealing.
那我该怎么办 跟她直接要吗 What am I supposed to do? Just ask her for it?
她会把我跟马蒂的衣服一起塞进烘干机的 She'll shove me in the dryer with Matty's clothes.
这能有多惨 Well, how bad could that be?
马蒂晚饭的时候换过裤子 Matty changed his pants during dinner.
嗯 那是挺惨的 Yeah, that's bad.
好我们找找看 All right, let's find it.
天-怎么了 - Jesus. - What?
这里有一整抽屉的金枪鱼罐头 There's a whole drawer here that's just can s of tuna
真可怜 How sad.
等等 Wait. Wait.
耶 Oh, fuck yeah.
找到了-中奖了 - You found it? - Jackpot.
太棒了 我们走吧 Great. Let's go.
-草-该死 Fuck. - Shit.
去这里面 Let's go in here.
路跳着舞过去 All the way over and dances.
等下 Hang on a sec.
我这里应该有一包 I think I have a pack around here somewhere.
太谢谢了 Oh, thank you so much.
药妆店只有男士剃须刀 The CVS only had the men's razors,
我觉得只能用来刮脸 and I think those are only for faces.
- 给你-谢谢 - There you go. - Thank you.
现在可是90年代 苏珊 You know, it's the'9os, Aunt Suze.
你乐意的话 不刮腿毛出门也没事 You can go without shaving your legs if you want.
当年我读高中那会儿 When I was in high school,
有时候就会忘刮然后就会被人笑 I used to forget sometimes an d I'd get made fun of
真的吗真够讨厌的 Oh, really? I hate that.
也许这就是我这么在意的原因吧 It's probably why I'm so self-conscious about it.
能问你件事吗 Can I ask you something?
行啊 问什么都行 Yeah, sure. Anything
一个以前笑过我的女生 One of the girls who used to make fun of me,
叫玛吉·克罗宁 her name was Margie Cronin.
她叫过我大脚怪 She used to call me Sasquatch.
读书那会儿她对我很刻薄 She was so mean to me in school,
后来 我们好久都没有见过面 and afterward, we didn't see each other for a long time.
然后大概一年前吧 And then about a year ago,
我在布莱德利餐具部看到她了 I sa w in the flatware department at Bradley's.
她没了只手 And I saw that she'd lost a hand.
对此我很开心 And I was so happy about it.
我是个很糟糕的人吗 Does it make me a terrible person?
我觉得不是 I don't --I don't think so
因为我觉得自己会有那种感觉特别不好 Because I felt so awful about my feelings
我去忏悔奥尼尔神父说 And I went to confession and Father O'Neill said,
上帝不会同意的 " Well, God wouldn't approve of that."
也许今年圣诞节我该给她织一只手套 Maybe this Christmas I should make her a mitten.
也许吧 Uh, may be
还要附上一张漂亮的小卡片写上 With a pretty, little card that says,
你手的事我很抱歉 " I'm sorry for your hand."
我会选择搁置不提 I would just let that one lie.
什么声 What was that noise?
衣橱里应该是有人 I think someone's in the closet.
那是什么-防狼喷雾 - W-w-what's that? - It's Mace.
小心 Just be careful.
-草-搞什么 both : Fuck! - What the fuck?
好痛 Oh, it burns!
你怎么会有防狼喷雾 Why the fuck do you have Mace?
你们为什么会在我衣橱里 Why the fuck are you in my closet?
怎么你用这个来保护你的金枪鱼收藏吗 What, do you protect your tuna collection with that?
回答问题 Answer the question.
你为什么会有金枪鱼啊 Why do you have the fucking tuna?
你是害怕吃我们的饭菜吗什么情况 Are you scared to eat our food? What is it?
回答我的问题 Answer my question.
泰迪 泰迪 你在哪儿呢 - Teddy! Teddy, where are you?
我天 Oh, my God.
那个是大啊麻吗 Uh, is that mary-ja-wana?
靠 Oh, shit.
你们拿毒品做什么 What are you doing with drugs?
苏珊 Aunt Suze.
这是我的错 This is my fault.
我们对你开家门 We opened our home to you.
让你住进了我们家 We let you stay here in our house
这样你就能去那个该死的学校了 so you could go to that goddamn school.
我知道 马蒂叔叔相信我我真的很抱歉 I know, Uncle Matty. And believe me, I am so sorry.
你就是这么报答我们的吗把毒品卖给我们儿子 And you pay us back by dealing drugs to our son?
我从没想过把约翰牵扯进来我保证 I never wanted John to get involved, I promise you.
我把毒品卖给了泰迪 I sold the pot to Ted.
我就不该让约翰试 I never should have let Johnny try it.
我没尽到 I have failed in my role as a --a --
小蟋蟀杰明尼的职责 a sort of Jiminy Cricket figure.
真不知道有什么可大惊小怪的 I don't know what the big deal is.
反正差不多一年后大麻就会合法 You know, weed's gonna be legal in like a year anyway.
这是诱导性毒品 新闻上说的 It's a gateway drug! They talk about it on the news!
那我们该怎么办 Well, what are we supposed to do?
从海洛因开始吸起 Start with heroin?
你们为什么要贩毒啊 Well, why in God's name are you dealing drugs at all?
我朋友 莎拉跟我 在她公寓里种这个 My friend, Sarah and I, we grow it in her apartment,
然后我俩用这笔钱来付学费 and we're using the money to help pay for tuition.
你就不能去麦当劳打工吗 Well, you --you can't work at Mc Donald's?
一年要付一万五呢 马蒂 It's 15k a year, Matty
我得把自己卖给麦当劳才赚的出来 I'd have to sell myself at Mc Donald's.
你可以称之为人柳堡 Oh, you could call it File t-O-Flesh.
有这东西吗 Is that something?
她甚至都不去工作了 而我们 She won't even work, and here we are
出于好心收留她在这里 putting her up out of the goodness of our hearts!
蛋卖身堡 Eg g Mc Fuckin', may be?
出于好心以及看在每个月的房租的份上 The goodness of your hearts and a monthly rent check.
四分之一上她 A Quarter To Pound Her?
我是不是该住嘴了 感觉你们并没有理我的意思 I --should I stop? I feel like there's no traction here.
马蒂 Matty?
你还收她房租了 You're charging her rent?
是啊 Yes, I am.
这是我的房子 我有权收租 This is my house. I got the right to charge rent.
但是马蒂女 她可是家人 But, Matty, she's family.
苏珊-她是我们侄女 - Susan. - She's our niece.
苏珊 你能闭嘴让我来处理吗 Susan, will you be quiet and let me handle this?
嘿 不许这么跟她说话 Hey, don't talk to her like that.
你说什么 福 Excuse me?
你老这样 You do this all the time.
不让她说话 贬低她 You silence her voice, you be little her,
打压她完全不尊重她 you cut her down, you treat her like shit.
我才没有 I do not.
我很爱我老婆她清楚这点 I love my fucking wife, and she knows it.
对不对苏珊 Don't you, Susan?
真不敢相信你会让她付房租 I can't believe you'd make her pay rent.
嘿嘿嘿 该指责的那个人不是我 Hey, hey, hey, I'm not the one in the hot seat here.
她是毒贩我要她今晚就搬离这里 She's a drug dealer, and I want her out of this house tonight
马蒂 拜托 Matty, please.
没得谈 今晚就走 End of discussion! Tonight!
拜托等等 Come on. Wait.
嘿布莱尔 能跟你聊几句吗 Hey, Blair e, uh, can we talk to you for a sec?
好呀 Sure.
在我无家可归之前还是有几分钟时间的 Got a couple minutes before I become homeless.
嘿 听着布莱尔真的很对不起 Hey, listen, Blair e. Uh, I'm really sorry.
我也很对不起 Me too.
嗯 现在道歉有点晚了 Yeah, well, it's a little late for that.
我们没想把你逼走 We didn't want you to have to leave.
即便你的床只有台球桌那么点 Even if your bed is the size of a pool table
那个差不多就是 I mean, that's probably about
台球桌大小吧 the size of a pool table, right?
闭嘴泰迪 Shut the fuck up, Teddy.
我们知道你生气是因为爸爸把你赶出去了 Look, we know you're mad because Dad gave you the boot.
是但我生气不是因为这个 But -- - Yeah, that's not why I'm mad.
你都不知道我为什么生气 You have no idea why I'm mad
你知道为什么明明去投奔我自家人开车45 分钟就能到 Do you know all the details of why I've been living here
我却住到这里了吗 when my own family lives 45 minutes away?
我开车上下学很方便的 I could easily commute to school,
但我家里人很差劲 每个人都很差劲 but my family is fucked, every one of them.
如果你不了解事情全貌 In case you don't get the scope of things,
我爸 你叔叔伯尼是个酒鬼兼混蛋 my dad, your Uncle Bernie, is a drunk and an asshole
我妈是个精神病 我哥在坐牢 my mom's a psycho lunatic, and my brother's in prison
天那你的狗呢 Jesus. What about your dog?
死了 Dead.
草 Fuck.
我爸妈没得救了但 Mom and Dad are lost causes, but.
我很努力想保护凯文 I tried so hard to protect Kevin.
可没能保护成 And I couldn't.
他有那样的家长所以现在他因 He's his parents'son, so now he's serving ten years
持枪抢劫菲尔兹太太 for robbing a Mrs. Fields at gunpoint
以及持有可卡因被判10 年监禁 and possession of crack.
我是说 菲尔兹夫人和毒品 Well, I mean, Mrs. Fields and crack.
有什么区别呢对吧 It's like what's the difference, right?
麻烦继续 Please, continue.
是这样 我只是 Look, I just --
我不希望同样的事发生在你身上 I don't want the same thing to happen to you.
当初我搬过来就告诉自己 And when I moved here, I told myself
我会照顾好你 that I was gonna look after you
确保该死的本内特家族基因 and make sure the fucked up Bennett DNA
不会影响到你 didn't get to you too.
可相反 我把你拉进了 And instead, I introduced you
毒品的奇妙世界 to the wonderful world of drugs
我没生你气明白吗我在生自己的气 I'm not mad at you, all right? I'm mad at myself.
布莱尔我 Look, Blaire, I --
我从没想过你会这么照顾我 I never expected you to look out for me like that.
保重照顾好自己好吗 Just take care of yourself, all right?
我们这个家族有毒 Our family is poison.
要比他们强 Do better than them.
你打算去哪儿 Where you gonna go?
去莎拉那里住几周 Stay with Sarah for a few weeks.
大麻边上有块空地可以睡 There's an open spot near the sativa.
之后就不知道了 But after that, I don't know.
回见 See you.
天洛莉·拉芙琳太他妈绝了 God, Lori Loughlin's fucking gorgeous.
这女人没得挑 That woman can do no wrong
嘿别打飞机啊 Hey, don't start jerking off
那张海报可不是用来打飞机的 Hey, that poster is not for jerking off
是用来幻想婚姻的 你个变态 It's for imagining being married, you sick fuck.
没错 - Wow. - Yeah!
你想象过婚礼吗 You --you've imagined the wedding?
当然了 Well, yeah.
《人物》杂志封面照就是我们 The cover of " People " ma gazine's a photo of us
写着"拉芙琳现在又是何人" and it says, " Who's Loughlin now?"
就是说 你入赘 So you took her name?
不是 但杂志得要大卖嘛 No, no. But they need to sell copies.
挺不错的 你既能勃起 Well, it's good to know you can be both erect
还懂市场营销策略 and market-savvy.
泰迪 布莱尔所处的情况 Teddy, this whole Blaire situation
真的很糟糕 is really shitty.
是我知道 Yeah, I know.
我都不知道她是这么看我的 I mean, I never knew she thought of me that way.
像是对待弟弟一样 It's like a little brother.
我一直都很想要个哥哥或者姐姐 I always wanted a brother or a sister,
而她就在那里 一直都在 and there she was, right there all along
是啊 Yeah.
也许除去那些种族主义的抱怨之外 I guess under all that complaining about racism
她本质还是个很好的人的 there's actually a good person in there.
泰迪 我们得做点什么 这是我们的错 Teddy, we gotta do something. I mean, this is our fault.
也许我可以去跟爸爸谈谈 让他改变心意 Like, may be I can talk to Dad, get him to change his mind.
嗯 祝你好运 他听不进去的 Yeah, good luck. He's never gonna listen.
我们不能干躺在这里 I mean, we can't just lay here
任由她受折磨 and let her get fucked over.
肯定是能做点什么的 There's gotta be something we can do.
等下 你知道吗 Wait a minute. You know what?
还真能 There is.
我们去把盒子开了 We are gonna open the box.
给你我就在外面 There you go. I'll be right outside.
完事儿了叫我 Just let me know when you're finished
谢谢- 谢了 Thank you. - Thanks
你知道吗 Did you know that
现在的纺织聚合物特别薄以至于有人可以 textile polymers are so thin nowadays that someone could be
穿成人尿布没人能看出来 wearing an adult diaper and no one would even know it?
什么 What?
没有厚重的衬垫 No bulky padding
裤子也不会难看的鼓起来 no unsightly bulges in the trousers.
我不知道 I--I didn't know that. No.
很神奇的 It's amazing.
一个人 随便谁都可以一边跟你说着话 A person, anyone could be talking to you
一边释放着自己 and relieving themselves at the same time.
而你永远都不会知道 And you'd never even know it.
行吧 Ok.
这是个非常棒的事情 And that's great news.
你是穿着尿布呢吗 Are you wearing a diaper?
才没有别搞的这么奇怪 No. Don't make this weird
好吧 OK.
我只是想说 I'm just saying
技术发展到这个地步 the technology has come so far
限制几乎就不存在了 that limits practically don't exist.
关键在于要有信心 It's all about confidence.
所以去开长途车 So take that long car ride
爬山续满那杯冰茶吧 climb that mountain, have that iced tea refill.
我们会的 We --we will.
什么限制 What limits?
天我们得换家银行 Jesus, we gotta switch banks.
嗯 必须的
在这里了 Here it is.
嗯 Yep
你确定我们要这么做哈 You're sure you wanna do this, right?
一旦被老爸发现你有这个 I mean, once Dad finds out you have it,
就没法回头了 再也回不去了 there's no going back, like ever.
他会疯了的 He's gonna go nuts.
所以我没跟他提过啊 That's why I never told him
也许在内心深处 I guess deep down,
我留着就是为了等这么一天的 I was saving it for a day like this
危急关头 希望渺茫 when the chips were down and all hope seemed lost
好吧 OK.
很好动手吧 Good, Let's do it
好了我们完事儿了 1134 All right, we're done!
先生 Sir?
帮我把1080号箱子打开 - I need you to open box 1080.
里面有条牛仔裤 There's a pair of jeans in there!
119 什么-照做就是 - What? - Just do it!
怎么 你就打算 What, you're just -- you're just not gonna
后半辈子都不跟我说话了吗 not gonna talk to me for the rest of your life, huh?
是吗 Is that it?
你是 Well, you'd -- you've --you've taken
修了闭口禅是吧跟和尚一样 a --taken a vow of silence, like a --like a monk, huh?
头发是也要剃了吗 You're gonna --you're gonna shave your head too?
剃啊 'Cause, well, go ahead
去剃吗然后你就 Go ahead, then you won't -- then you won't --
就不会把浴室下水道堵住了 then you won't clog the shower drain.
什么事 What do you guys want?
我想做个交易 I want to cut a deal.
什么说什么呢 What? What are you talking about?
我给你讲个故事马蒂 Let me tell you a story, Matty.
当初我在好莱坞的时候 Back when I was in Hollywood,
差点就跟史泰龙一起拍了电影 I almost made a movie with Sly Stallone.
-扯淡-不是扯淡 - Bullshit. - No bullshit.
拍《洛奇》的那个史泰龙-没错 - " Rocky " Stallone? - Yep.
他带着个项目来找我我答应了 He came to me with a project and I said yes.
是关于一个宇航员警察 It was gonna be about this astronaut cop
和一只妙语连珠的熊的故事 and this wisecracking bear.
我演那只熊 I was the bear.
他们要去太空拯救圣诞节 And they gotta go to space to save Christmas,
但后来"挑战者"号爆炸了 but then the " Challenger " exploded
所以他们不得不放弃这个项目 so they had to scrap the project.
天真可惜 Oh, man, what a bummer.
就是说啊 I know, right?
那可是美国最需要 I mean, that's when America could have used
这类电影的时候 a movie like that the most!
不管怎样史泰龙觉得很抱歉 Anyway, Stallone felt really bad about it
所以他给了我这个 so he gave me this.
这什么啊 What is it?
洛奇的护嘴器 Rocky's mouth guard.
我去你开玩笑呢吧 Fuck you. You're kidding.
-没有-你整我呢 Nope. - You're shitting me.
没有 No shit.
慢着这是不是代表 Wait. Does that mean --
没错好莱坞星球的那个是假的 Yes, the one at Planet Hollywood is a fake
天 Holy -
我的天 holy shit!
真他妈的 Holy fucking shit!
现在 我会把这个无价之宝送给你 Now, I will give you this priceless item...
前提是你再给布莱尔一次机会 If you give Blaire another chance.
让她留下 - Huh? - Just let her stay.
让我想想 I don't know.
嘿不如戴上看看 Hey, why don't you put it on?
来吧 Go on.
这可是1976 年进过西尔维斯特·史泰龙嘴里的那个 That was in Sylvester Stallone's mouth in 1976.
看看在你嘴里的感觉 See how it feels in yours.
我感受到他了 I feel him.
我能感受到他在我嘴里 I--I--I feel him in my mouth.
你要坚持到底啊马蒂 You gotta go the distance, Matty.
洛奇是永远不会放弃 Rocky would never have given up
他兄弟的老婆的女儿的 on his brother's wife's daughter.
你也不该放弃-不该 And neither should you. - No.
意下如何 What do you say?
好吧-什么好吧 - OK. - OK, what?
她可以留下来 She can stay.
马蒂 你认真的 Oh, Matty, you mean it?
是去他的 Yeah, fuck it.
亲爱的 不收房租对吧 Oh, honey, and no rent?
-是-对吧 - Yeah, yeah. - Right?
-行-太感谢了 - Fine, fine. - Thank you so much.
这个我不摘了 I'm gonna sleep in it
干得漂亮泰迪 Nice job, Teddy.
我们做到了-是啊 We did it. - Yeah, we did.
我觉得你跟史泰龙 You know, I think you and Stallone
还是可以拍那部电影的 could still make that movie.
天不可能了 那完全就是垃圾 Oh, God. No way. It was total fucking garbage.
我不想让你觉得我疯了 但我真的认为 I don't wanna sound crazy, but I honestly think
是派拉蒙炸毁的航天飞机 Paramount blew up the space shuttle
这样他们就不用拍那部电影了 so they wouldn't have to make that movie.
天这么差劲吗 Jesus, that bad, huh?
就是这么差劲-靠 - It was that bad, yeah. - Shit.
我不知道该怎么谢谢你们俩 I don't know how to thank you guys.
我从没想过会是这样 I mean, never in a million years did I expect this
我都开始认为 You know, I was starting to think
我们谁都不可能打破本内特家族血脉的 it was impossible for any of us to break the curse
诅咒了 但你所做的 of the Bennett blood, but what you did,
给了我很多希望 it gives me a lot of hope
谢谢 Thank you.
我们只是想拨乱反正 Ah, we were just trying to make things right.
不是我认真的 No, no, no, no. I--I mean it, though.
你跟家族其他人不一样 You're not like the rest of the family.
你有机会的 You've got a shot.
我想起我爸 醉躺在破旧的沙发上 I think of my dad, drunk on his ratty couch,
看着《飞侠哥顿》之类的片子 watching " Flash Gordon " or some shit,
但你不会这样 but that's not gonna be you
你会有所作为的 You --you're gonna do something with your life.
你会出人头地的 You're gonna be somebody.
谢谢了布莱尔 Thanks, Blaire.
答应我 Just promise me this
别再碰毒品了好吗 No more drugs. Yeah?
以后不碰毒品了 No more drugs.
大麻除外 Besides pot.
Tax Credit SO DEC