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所以我需要个新律师 苏西不停叨叨说 So, I needed a new lawyer, and Susie was going on
你是个多么棒的律师 and on about what a great lawyer you are.
致命一击的来了 And then, the coup de grâce,
她跟我说了你的姓 she told me your last name.
-曼托 克里斯托弗·曼托 -是啊 -Mantle. Christopher Mantle. -Yeah.
- 是啊 -我天啊 -Yeah. Yes. -Oh, my God.
我是说 米奇·曼托从小到大都是我的偶像啊 I mean, Mickey Mantle, he was my idol growing up.
我不看棒球 不过我也知道米奇·曼托 I don't follow baseball, but I know who Mickey Mantle is.
天啊 真是个很棒的姓啊 Oh, my God, it's an amazing name.
苏西很会和所有人打交道 Well, Susie's great at connecting everybody.
她人真好 对了 I love her. Oh, by the way
她说起你可能要去寺庙 she mentioned you might be going to the temple
去参加广场重新开放的活动 for the reopening of the plaza thing.
对对 我被她硬拖过去的 Yeah, yeah. I'm being dragged there by this woman
我也不知道怎么就和她有打交了 who I'm connected to somehow.
我也是被人硬拖过去的 Yeah, I'm being dragged there too.
-你 真的吗-是啊 我丈夫是个犹太人 -Oh, you-- Really? -Yeah, my husband is Jewish.
好吧 那我们俩都是被硬拖过去的呗 Oh, okay. We're both being dragged.
-我们俩都是被硬拖过去-瞧瞧这个 -We're both being dragged. Yeah. -Look at that.
嗯 我对这个案子挺有把握 Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, I familiarized myself
就像对美国地图一样有把握 with the case, like the rest of America,
你知道吗 拉里 and listen to me, Larry.
这是我见过有史以来通过的 This is the most unconstitutional law
最违宪的法律了 他们应该审判这项法律 that's ever been passed. The law should be on trial,
-而不应该审判你-真的假的 -not you. -Really?
我很有信心 So, I'm confident this
-你的罪名会很快澄清-哇哦 -will get cleared up quickly. -Wow.
我会在本周末前提交文件 And I'll file something by the end of the week,
也就是在提交解除诉讼请求的截止日期之前 which is the cutoff date, to file a motion to dismiss.
一切都会没事的 你可以放宽心了 So, all will be taken care of. Yeah. You can rest easy.
天啊 你说的简直太中听了 Oh, my God, that is music to my ears.
是的 我会让你避免接受审讯的 它会被这样 Yes. We're gonna avoid a trial, and it's gonna be...
扔出去 ...tossed out.
-曼托先生-嗯 -Mr. Mantle. -Yeah.
你 你这可击中了个本垒打啊 All--You-- You just hit a home run.
-好吗-嗯 -You know? Yeah.
-太棒了 -谢谢 -That's fantastic. -Thanks. Yeah.
好消息是 我还能像个英雄一样 So, the good news is, I can still parade around
大摇大摆的 不用接受审讯 like I'm a hero of sorts without having to go to trial...
一是啊-不用蹲监狱 什么也不用 -Yeah. -...or prison, or anything.
没错 你不用接受审讯 That's right. You will not have to go to trial.
你也不会蹲监狱 You will not be going to prison.
曼托先生 一号线有丹尼斯找你 Mr. Mantle, Denise on line one.
等我一下 抱歉 One second. Sorry.
喂 嗯 Hello? Yeah.
真的吗 太好了 你能把那玩意放回去吗 拉里 Oh, really? Oh, that's great. Can you put that back, Larr?
能放回桌上不 Can you put that back down?
很好 太感谢你了 丹尼斯 Yeah, it's great. Thank you so much, Denise.
拜 Okay, bye.
抱歉 那是我的代孕人 Sorry about that. That was my surrogate.
我和我丈夫要有个小孩了 My husband and I are having a baby.
-真的假的-真的 -Ah, no kidding. -Yeah.
-恭喜你们啊 大事啊 真好-谢谢啊 -Congratulations. Big news. That's great. -Thank you. Yeah, yeah.
我们都很激动-你喜欢那个代孕人吗 -We're really excited. -You like the surrogate?
-挺喜欢的 她很贴心-她做过智商测试了吗 -I do. She's really sweet. -She took an IQ test?
我是说 你可不想有个 I mean, you don't wanna get
傻瓜小孩的 对吧-确实 -a moron, right? -Correct.
你确定她不是个傻瓜吗 You're sure she's not a moron?
确定 谢谢你关心哈 Yes. Thank you for your concern. Yeah.
有个问题我想问你 你们同性恋夫夫是 Let me ask you a question. How does it work with a--
怎么决定的 谁来选小孩姓什么呢 with a gay couple? Who gets to choose the last name?
我们讨论过了 最终选了我丈夫的姓 We, uh, had a discussion, and we chose my husband's name.
是什么呢 Oh. Which is?
泽克尔曼 Zeckelman.
嗯 Yeah.
你选泽克尔曼不选曼托 You're going with Zeckelman over Mantle?
他的姓有什么问题吗 Is something wrong with his last name?
这可不是全球最棒的姓 It's not the greatest last name in the world,
但曼托是其中之一啊 but Mantle is one of the great names.
呃 谢谢 我 Well, thank you. I--
我个人觉得泽克尔曼也是个很棒的姓 I personally think Zeckelman is also a great name.
你觉得有什么问题吗 Is that okay?
没问题 只是对小孩来说可不太好啊 It's okay. It's not so great for the kid.
怎么就对小孩不太好了 Why is it not great for the kid?
我可不认识哪个泽克尔曼有击中过536次本垒打的 I don't know any Zeckelmans who hit 536 home runs.
到目前为止 Yet.
-行吧行吧-好 Okay. All right. Okay.
-很高兴见你 拉里-好了 Nice to meet you, Larry. Okay.
-也很高兴见你-我也是 Nice to meet you. Yeah, you too.
-寺庙见-你会和泽克尔曼一起去吗 -I'll see you at temple. Are you going with Zeckelman?
我和 I'm going with...
-泽克尔曼一起去 对 -好 到时候见 -Zeckelman, yeah. Great. See you there.
行 Okay.
就这么跟你说吧 Let me tell you.
我遇到了史上最棒的女孩 I met the greatest girl.
她叫珍娜 她真的很棒 Her name is Jenna, and she's pretty incredible.
我们已经谈了好几周了 It's been going on for a couple weeks.
-真的吗-是啊 她很有幽默感 Really? Yeah. She's really funny.
她很聪明 她也很懂音乐 She's smart. She knows music.
她会挑战我 可会聊天了 She challenges me. Great conversationalist.
-她干什么工作的-她给迪士尼公司打工 -What does she do? -She works for Disney.
她好像还是个管理层呢 I think she's an executive.
她总是在聊电影什么的 She's always just talking about the film.
她知道所有要上映的电影 She knows all the things that are coming out.
我是说 她在说什么 公主的服装之类的 I mean, she was talking about, like, the princess costumes
还有它们会怎么变化 and where they're going and evolving.
能参与引导电视和电影的制作 Just to be involved in steering the television
已经很厉害了 and the films is a lot,
但她还得想着 比如说 but she's gotta keep it in her mind, like,
我怎么才能把这变成一个过山车 "How do I turn that into a ride? "
-那真了不起哈-超级了不起的 That's pretty impressive, yeah. Super impressive.
老实说 我从来没听过你这样讲话 Honestly, I've never heard you talk like this.
嗯 以前没这种感觉 Well, I've never felt this way before.
那运动呢 Sports.
-她喜欢运动吗-讲这个有点太快了 -She into sports? -You know, it's too soon.
我还没聊到运动呢 I haven't gotten into sports yet.
如果你聊到运动了 If you get sports here...
那太过了 it's too much.
如果我聊到运动了 你这个伴郎当定了 If I get sports, you're my best man.
靠要是她在迪士尼工作 那你下次跟她聊上时 Damn. If she working at Disney, next time you talk to her,
问问她那个火辣的小叮当 ask her about that fine-ass Tinkerbell.
你喜欢小叮当 You're attracted to Tinkerbell?
小叮当在那里扭着小屁股飞来飞去 Tinkerbell flies her little ass in there.
她扭动那个小屁股 那个小屁股跟着扭 She put her little booty out, with that little booty tooch.
小屁股翘着 -嗯 That little booty go out... Yeah.
然后布灵一下 ...and bling!
这变态程度可不一般啊 It speaks of a very unusual perversion.
一个男人喜欢这样指尖大小的小仙女 A man attracted to a thimble-sized fairy.
小叮当多棒啊 对吧 Tinkerbell fine as fuck. Come on.
我会把她放在我的口袋里的 I'll put her in my motherfucking pocket.
听到了吗 我会这样走来走去 知道她在家了 You hear me? And I'll just walk around knowing she home.
然后她扭着小屁股飞出来 And she flies her little ass out there,
给我脸蛋上亲一下什么的 give me a little kiss on the cheek and shit,
然后再飞走 and flies the fuck off.
嘿 你这件夹克衫也不错啊 Hey. That's a nice-ass jacket you got, too.
-嗯 谢谢你-你穿着挺靓的 Oh. Yeah. Thank you. Looks good on you.
-我很喜欢这件夹克-我也超爱 I really like it. I love it.
你一般不喜欢麂皮的 You wouldn't normally think suede would be nice.
因为它是深绿色的 这不挺好的 'Cause it's a darker green. Isn't it nice?
看那条鱼 Look at that fish.
那条鱼咋了 What's up with that fish?
看上去它卡住了 Looks like it's stuck.
他在挣扎 - 是啊 Look at him struggle. -LARRY: Yeah, yeah.
他的小鼻子被卡在滤水器里了 His little nose is trapped in that filter.
是啊是啊 噢 不好意思 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, excuse me.
先生 怎么了 Yes, sir?
那条鱼 我感觉他卡住了 That fish, it looks like he's stuck.
噢不 鱼没卡住 鱼病了 Oh, no, fish not stuck, fish sick.
不 不 鱼卡住了 No, no, fish stuck.
不 每年的这个时候鱼都不怎么好过 No, this time of year is tough for fish,
鱼很容易得病 so fish gets sick easily.
这个滤水器很暖和 他贴上去会感觉好很多 The filter is very'warm, so it make him feel better.
-没事的 这是正常的-逗我呢 看这 -So, it's okay. It's normal. Seriously? Look at that.
这条鱼绝对卡住了 That fish is stuck.
不 你看 鱼摇尾巴了 这说明鱼打喷嚏了 No. See, fish wiggle, it mean fish sneeze.
鱼才不会打喷嚏呢 Fish don't sneeze.
-他根本没有打喷嚏啊-不 鱼会打喷嚏的 -The fish didn't sneeze. -No, fish sneeze.
-这家伙卡住了-他是生病了 This guy's stuck. Fish sick now.
-这鱼明明卡住了-不 这鱼明明生病了 Fish stuck. No, fish sick.
呢 他要是一直卡着他就要生病了 Well, he's gonna get sick if he stays stuck.
-对啊 -没事的 -Yeah. No, it's okay.
就不能来个人伸到鱼缸里帮他一下吗 Can someone go in the tank and unstuck?
先生 这没必要 鱼就是生病了 Sir, it's not necessary. Fish sick.
好吧 跟你讲不清道理-那啥 Okay, you're out of your mind. You know what?
你们一直在说鱼 我都想要吃鱼了 All this talk about fish, now I want fish.
给我上菜单上的红鲷鱼 Give me the snapper off the menu.
-鱼很好吃 没问题-好样的 Oh, fish delicious. Okay. My man.
那也是条被卡住的鱼啊 That's a stuck fish.
我都吃不下去 我真替那鱼感到抱歉 I can't even eat. I feel so bad for that fish.
至少那玩意儿不会淹死 At least that motherfucker can't drown.
这次互助会很棒 记得再来哦 Great meeting everybody. Keep coming back.
如果你投入精力那这肯定会有帮助的 It works if you work it.
我控制不了自己的时候 懂吗 ...when I'm not in control of myself, you know?
嘿 如果这对你有帮助 那我就很开心了 Hey, if it worked for you, then that's all I care about.
这是个有12步的计划呢 It's a 12-step program.
-嘿-呃 -Hey. You know,
你不应该吃这些的 you're not supposed to have these.
这些是给大家准备的-是吗 These are for everybody. -Oh. Really?
-他们都是数好的-来真的吗 They count it exactly.- What, are you kidding?
-他刚刚拿了个甜甜圈 因为-干什么 这里有好多呢 -He just took a donut 'cause... What? There's tons of 'em.
-嘿 拉里 谢谢你愿意来-嘿 赛勒斯 嗯 那必须的 -Hey, Larry. Thanks for coming. Hey, Cyrus. Yeah, sure. Yeah.
-很高兴见到你哈-酒鬼 你知道不 Hey, good to see ya. Tell ya what, you alcoholics,
你可真会选甜甜圈 you know your way around a good donut.
-我猜也是咯-怎么说 -I guess that's true. So, what are you?
-我还没想过这点呢-你现在爱吃这些东西了 I never thought about that. Are you addicted to these now?
你也能看出来-嗯 嗯 Well, as you can tell. Yeah. Yeah.
理查德·路易斯也在这里 You know, Richard Lewis is here.
他在这场互助会上讲话 He spoke during the meeting.
-也可以说是他主持了这场互助会-呃 -Well, he took over the meeting. Well--
-他 他说了好多-正好轮到他分享他的事而已 - It was a- It was a lot. - It was his turn to share.
他一直分享个没停好吗 Cause he shared and shared and shared.
很多人觉得他讲话很搞笑 但他讲话很低俗 You know, a lot of people find it funny, but he works so blue.
-我听到见鬼这个词得有噢 -I heard the word "hell" like... Oh.
-噢 真可怜啊得有三次吧 Oh, poor thing. - three times.
听着 我 Listen, um, I...
说嘛 就直接问他呗-我 -Come on! Get-- Just ask him. Well--I--
他能理解的 他一直被问这种问题 信我的 He know-- He gets this all the time, trust me.
我感觉挺蠢的 有点小尴尬 I feel stupid. I'm embarrassed.
没关系 尴尬什么 That's okay. Don't be embarrassed.
不 不 还是尴尬吧 别问了 No, no, be embarrassed. Don't ask.
如果不想问 别勉强 If you don't have to, don't.
我想说 我的女儿 她想当一名作家 Well, listen. My daughter, she wants to be a writer,
然后 and
我就想问问你有没有认识的人 ...I just wondered if you had anybody
也许能读读她写的东西 that maybe could read her stuff?
呃 我 呃 Ah. Uh, I... Um, yeah. I--
-我想一想哈-真的吗 Let me think about it. -Really?
太感谢-嘿 你想干啥呢 大兄弟 Thank you so--- Hey, what the hell are you doing, man?
-离我远点-他不喜欢抱抱 Hell away from me. He hates being hugged.
-可没说能抱抱哈 别碰我-行吧 There's no touching here. No touching. Okay.
简单点就行宝儿 Remember to keep it simple, babe.
真的 很感谢你的夸奖 Really, I appreciate the compliment.
你今天应该来看看我发挥的 You should've seen me today.
-你互助会开得不错-我听到他们笑的 You had a good meeting? I got laughs
比以前任何一场会都要大声 bigger than I've éver gotten before at a meeting.
你不应该在这分享自己的事才对吗 I thought you were supposed to share here.
听上去你在搞脱口秀啊 It sounds like you're doing stand-up.
-那不是个脱口秀-你说的它就是个一样 It's not stand-up. Well, you're talking like it's stand-up.
我是说 我抛弃不了我天生会喜剧的这部分啊 Well, I mean, I can't divorce my comic self.
我可永远摆脱不了喜剧人这部分 Part of me will always be a comedian and...
还有酒鬼这部分 and a drunk.
希望你哪天也能来看看我发挥啊 I wish you would come and see me sometime.
-哈 什么-嘿 打断一下 拉里 You--What? Hey. Excuse me, Larry.
你今晚可是大获成功啊 You absolutely murdered it tonight.
-兄弟-让我笑的很开心 -Hey, man. Big laughs.
下次再来 Come back next time.
-太好了-我会讲新段子的 Terrific. I'll do new stuff.
-他们都喜欢我-到底怎么回事 They love me. What is going on here?
这根本不像是个互助会 这 This doesn't sound like an AA meeting. It--
-它是一个-听上去怎么像个演唱会 - No, it is an- -It sounds like a concert.
我在帮忙好吗 我只是想让大家 I'm doing a service, but I-- I want people
开心享受这个互助会 to laugh and enjoy.
你给其他人分享的机会了吗 Do you let anybody else talk?
有个伤心的老太太对我敞开了心扉 Well, there was a sad old lady who opened for me,
但她只说了10分钟 but she only did ten minutes.
唯一的问题就是你在表演 The only problem is you're doing your act,
可是大家都没喝酒 but nobody's drinking.
-想想看如果他们喝了-如果他们喝了 -Imagine if they were drinking. -If they were drinking...
-对-那屋顶就被掀翻了 -Yeah. -...the roof would be blown off.
算了吧 You know, forget about it.
-是-但我不知道我们能怎么 -Yes. -But I don't know how we can--
不好意思打断一下 你今天的表现太棒了 Excuse me. I'm sorry. That was just incredible.
我得好好谢谢你 I had to thank you.
-好多笑声哈-好多笑声 -A lot of laughs? -AA MEMBER: A lot of laughs.
从地狱来的酒保那部分讲的 -RICHARD: Oh, wow. -The bartender from hell part,
我都哭了 I was crying.
-管用哈-绝对管用 -RICHARD: Did that work? -Yeah, it totally worked.
-祝你晚安 谢谢-谢谢你能来 -Have a good night. Thank you. -Thanks for coming over.
我每周来这两次 I'm here, like, twice a week.
- 好的 谢谢 -好 -Okay, good. Thanks. -Okay.
地狱来的酒保 The bartender from hell.
对 我有时候会讲从来自地狱那段 Yeah. I mean, I do the "from hell" on occasion,
但我也在琢磨其它的内容 but I'm workshopping a few other things.
这么跟你说吧 再来几次这样的互助会 I'll tell ya, another couple of meetings like this,
-我就推出个特别档-我跟你讲哈 -I'll have a special. -You know what?
这主意简直绝了 That's a fantastic idea.
-为互助会-互助会特辑 -For a session. -The AA special.
这是我一直在找的一个噱头 This is the hook I've been looking for.
-就这个了-为什么不在谈保持清醒的同时 -LARRY: This is it! -Why not talk about being sober
让HBO给拍个特辑啊 but get a special with HBO?
就是说嘛 There you go.
谢谢 所以你才是我好哥们 RICHARD: Thank you. That's why we're best friends.
来自地狱音乐会的酒鬼 The Drunk From Hell concert.
来自社会的大量支持 The outpouring of support from the community...
整个地方之前都是垃圾堆填区 This whole complex was all landfill.
这片地-要来点开胃菜吗 -This land. -Hors d'oeuyres?
-不 我还是不吃了-这是啥 -Eh, no, I don't think so. -What is this?
- 你确定要吃吗 - 是肉 -Really? You're gonna eat that? -It's meat.
-你确定要吃吗-是肉 -Really? You're gonna eat that? -It's meat.
我可能得吃点别的 I may go get something else,
我得先用米饭什么的打个底儿 so I need to build a base with some rice.
-是 去打米饭地基吧-你自己没问题吧 -Yeah, go build your rice base. -You gonna be okay on your own?
-虽然挺难的 但应该行-我会想你的 -It'll be tough, but yeah. -I'll miss you.
别到处乱跑哈 Stay right there.
-嘿 嘿 嘿-嘿 你好吗 -Hey, hey, hey! -Hey! How are ya?
很高兴见到你 拉里 这是詹娜 Good to see ya. Larry, this is Jenna,
-我跟你提过好多次的-真高兴终于见面了 -who I told you so much about. -So nice to finally meet you.
很高兴认识你 他 他说了 他说过一些 Nice to meet you. He... He talked. He did some talking.
一是嘛一就一点 -Did he? -FREDDY: A little bit.
-是-他是说了 我听他说了 -Well, uh, yeah. -LARRY: He did. I'm hearing talk
-你说起我了-说了可多 -You talked me? -A lot of talk.
这么跟你说吧 能碰到你 You know what? It's kind of fortuitous
真是挺偶然的 因为 -that I ran into you, because.. -JENNA: Oh?
好吧 是这么回事 All right, here we go, okay?
首先 我不喜欢求人帮忙 First of all, I hate asking for favors almost as much
也讨厌帮别人忙 as I hate doing favors.
我有个朋友 他女儿写了个剧本 And so, I haye a friend, his daughter wrote a script,
然后他就问我认不认识人 and the guy asked me if I knew anybody
能帮他女儿读读那个剧本 who could read the script,
然后弗雷迪就跟我提起你了 and Freddy told me all about you,
所以你能帮忙看看吗 and would you mind reading it?
你想让我帮忙看剧本吗 You want me to read the script?
听我说哈 我知道你肯定很忙 而且 And listen. I'm sure you're really busy and--
不会啊 没事 我乐意读 No, no! I would love to read the script.
-不开玩笑吧-没有啦 我还挺兴奋的 -You're kidding? -No, I'd be excited.
如果你要是能再有点批注什么的 随意哈 Maybe if you had any notes, you know, feel free, you know.
没问题 可以 行 我 Totally. Yes, yes.I--
我想她肯定会挺高兴的 LARRY: I'm sure she would love that.
行我可以来点批注 No, I can give her notes.
-你从哪找来的小仙女啊-我是 -Where did you find her? Huh? -FREDDY: Did I--
-地球在哪-我是过分吹嘘了吗 -LARRY: Where's the planet? -Did I oversell?
-别闹了-给我看看地球在哪 -JENNA: Stop. -Point to the planet.
没了 看不见了 There's no more. There's no more of 'em.
别闹了 我都脸红了 -Stop. I'm blushing.
-我帮你们安排时间-我们安排个时间 -Yeah, I'll get you guys set up. -We'll set it up.
我们还得去见几个人 但真的很高兴见到你 We gotta run along and meet a couple other people, but it was great to see you.
-很高兴终于见到真人了 -很高兴 很高兴 -So nice to finally meet you. -Good to see ya. Nice to meet you.
-就是这家伙吗-对 就是他 -This is the guy? -Yes, that's him.
- 就这个 -对 -Right here? -Yes.
-但我们没必要太当回事了 -你等我会儿 -But we don't have to, like, make a thing. -Just give me a second.
嘿 拉里吗 Hey. Larry?
-亚伯·泽克尔曼 -嗯 -Abe Zeckelman. -Yeah.
你对我们孩子的名字有意见是吗 You have a problem with the name of our child?
其实 我 It's-- I...
谈不上有意见吧 I wouldn't say it's a problem.
-那是啥-我就是觉得 -Well, what is it? -Well, I thought
如果让我在曼托和泽克尔曼之间选的话 that given the choice of Mantle and Zeckelman,
曼托肯定更好吧 that Mantle was a better name.
-根据是什么 Based on what exactly?
实话实说 这名字确实不咋地 Let's be honest, it's not a great name.
-哪不咋地了-泽克尔曼 不是吧 -What's wrong with it? -Zeckelman? Come on.
你好像对我的姓特别恼火哈 You seem really worked up over my last name.
这你都觉得是个好姓 If you think that's a great name,
那还哪有坏姓了 then what's a bad name?
我宁可有个坏姓也总比没有姓的好吧 Well, I'd rather have a bad last name than no last name.
我叫拉里 我就觉得这名字不够好 My name's Larry. I don't think it's a great name.
我说的是实话 I'm honest about it.
我宁可叫达什 达兹或者丹 Would I rather be a Dash or a Dazzy or a Dan? You know.
个人观点这种事 Well, the good thing about an opinion
你自己放心里就好了啊 is that you can keep it to yourself.
但这样的话 大家走来走去谁都不用说话了 But then everybody would walk around not saying anything.
你的观点不是也表达出来了 You're not keeping this to yourself.
对 因为这观点我没法不表达 No, I couldn't keep this to myself.
行吧 那我那观点也没法不表达 Okay, well, I couldn't keep that to myself.
这真是极度不适的一次交谈 It's a deeply inappropriate conversation to be having.
想想游乐场 You know, just think about the playground.
他的处境多特殊啊 He's in a unique situation.
-这话又什么意思啊-什么 对 -What's that supposed to mean? -What? Yeah.
就 俩爸这事啊 Well, you know, the, uh, the two dads.
这事我觉得算不上外境特殊 Yeah, it's not that unique of a situation.
也许算不上特殊吧 但总归有些不一样 Maybe it's not unique. Different.
-不一样 -就是 -Different? -Well, it's...
- 稍微有点不一样 - 稍微有点不一样 -Slightly different? -Slightly different.
-对我们来说很正常-是 -To us, it's normal. Yeah. -Yeah.
-对 对-嗯-就是 -No, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. -CHRISTOPHER: Yeah. Yeah.
我这么问你们吧 LARRY: Let me ask you this question.
你们是怎么决定这孩子姓什么的 How did you decide on the last name anyway?
是你的精子对吧 I assume it's your semen, right?
你刚才说啥 What did you just say?
不是吧 我们现在都谈到精子了 No, we're talking about semen now.
-我猜是你的精子-这 -I assume it's your semen? -CHRISTOPHER: It's--
所以你才让孩子姓泽克尔曼的 'Cause that's how you got Zeckelman?
我们真要聊这事吗 We're having this conversation?
怎么了 我就是好奇 What? I mean, I'm just wondering
-为啥你们这么定的-这 行吧 这 -how you got there. -It's--Yeah. It--
-是我的精子-如果你非知道的话 -It's my semen. -If you must know,
-是他的精子-是你的精子啊 -it's his semen. -It's your semen?
-有什么问题吗-就是吧 一般你会想说 -What's the problem with that? -I mean, you would think that...
就是 捐精者会选择自己的姓嘛 you know, the... the donor would... would get the name.
我们在家里谈过这事 Well, we had a conversation at home about it.
因为这事很私人 Because it's a private thing.
对了 不知道你们名选好没有 By the way, I don't know if you've chosen a first name,
如果需要帮助 找我就对了 but if you need any help, I'm your guy.
-是嘛-因为你有俩名哈 -Are ya? -'Cause you got two first names.
我 不如这样啊 我现在就可以脱口而出一个 泽吉 I'm--How 'bout this? Off the top of my head, Ziggy.
泽吉·泽克尔曼 Ziggy Zeckelman. Hey.
你觉得泽吉·泽克尔曼是个好名字 You think Ziggy Zeckelman is a great name?
对啊 斯库德·泽克尔曼 I do. Scooter Zeckelman?
都是好名字 我们都记下了 They're all good names. We'll put'em both in the hat.
我们才不要记下这俩名字呢 We're not putting that in the hat.
-福茨如何-脚·泽克尔曼吗 -How 'bout Foots? -Foot Zeckelman?
-福茨（渣滓）-我们家 -Foots. -Is our family
-对你来说就是个笑话吗 拉里-不是啊 -a joke to you, Larry? -LARRY: No!
泽克尔曼这个姓就得配个特别的名 Zeckelman needs a cool first name!
我不想再聊下去了 I think I've had enough of this conversation.
好 -Okay. -Uh.
-很高兴认识你 拉里-多克 多克·泽克尔曼 -Great to meet you, Larry. -Doc. Doc Zeckelman.
医生·泽克尔曼就是来搞笑的 Doc Zeckelman is a joke.
-艾斯（尖）-我去拿点吃的 -Ace. -I'm gonna go get some food.
-好-艾斯·泽克尔曼 -Okay. -LARRY: Ace Zeckelman?
这名字不好吗 That's not a great name?
我们回家会讨论的 We're gonna talk about it at home.
杜威 邓肯 迪根 迪根 Dewey, Duncan, Deegan. Deegan.
跟迪根少校高速公路一个名 After the Major Deegan Expressway.
-我们有很多选择-我 -We got plenty of options. -I'm giving you gold here.
-最后-克里斯 -Uh, the last---Chris.
-稍等一下 谢谢你-算了 -One second. Um, thank you. -ABE ZECKELMAN: Forget it.
-怎么了-费劲 -CHRISTOPHER: What? -Don't bother.
我得走了 I gotta go.
亲爱的 别这样啊 回来吧 Babe, come on. Come back.
我草的 The fuck?
打扰一下 拉比·阿德尔曼 Excuse me. Rabbi Adelman?
-我能跟你说句话吗-打扰一下 -Can I talk to you for a second? -Excuse me.
-抱歉打扰了-嘿 -Yeah. Sorry to interrupt. -Hey.
很高兴你今天能来 I'm glad you're here today.
-谁负责那边的砖-我负责 -Who's in charge of the bricks? -I am.
-你负责哈-对啊 -You are? -RABBI ADELMAN: Yes.
你看到上面有块砖上写着 You know there's a brick that says,
拉里·大卫不尊重女人了吗 "Larry David is disrespectful to women."
你允许他们这么写吗 You allowed that to be up there?
我们不能修改铭牌 We don't really edit the bricks.
捐赠人有权利表达自己的想法 The donor gets to express what thoughts and feelings
-和感受-哦 所以谁都可以 -they have. -Oh, so anybody can write
-随便写咯-写仇恨内容的 -anything they want on a brick? -Well, we would not like
-肯定不台适-那是啥你说 -hate speech. -Well, what is that?
不就是仇恨内容吗 That's hate speech.
算是强烈厌恶吧 I think it's strong dislike speech.
行 那我要求你们把它拿下来 Okay, I want that taken down.
我们只往上加砖 我们不能往下拿 We only add bricks. We don't take them away.
你们还不能拿是吧 Oh, you don't remove bricks?
那砖就一辈子都在那了 That brick is gonna be up there forever.
-得传代了-我问你个问题 -Posterity. -Let me ask you a question.
《旧约全书》中就没有任何 There's nothing in the Old Testament
有关诽谤砖的内容吗 about defamatory bricks?
你觉得如果以撒编造了一些诽谤 You think if Isaac chiseled something defamatory
杰迪戴亚的内容 你觉得就没人把它们拿掉吗 about Jedediah, you think it wouldn't be taken down?
《托拉》里没有任何与诽谤砖相关的内容 There's nothing in the Torah about defamatory bricks.
《托拉》犹太教的法典 是犹太教的基本教义和法律来源
-你知道这是什么吗 拉比-什么 -You know what this is, Rabbi? -What?
耻辱 This is a shanda.
-能失陪一下吗 -当然 -Will you excuse me? -Certainly.
拉里 --Larry?
-我的天哪 真没想到-看看啊 嘿 -Oh, my God! This is crazy. -Look at this! Hey.
又见到了 Hi, again.
-又见到了-真好 -Again. -SIENNA MILLER: What a treat.
通常来说 大多数人你也不想再碰到了 Usually, most people you don't really wanna run into either,
但你我就不这么想了 but I'm not minding this at all.
-我也是 -是吧 -Me neither. Likewise. -LARRY: Yeah.
你怎么来这了 So, what are you doing here?
我打算皈依 I'm actually in the process of converting.
信犹太教了-什么 什么 -To Judaism. Yeah. -What? What?
那位是我的拉比 这个是 That's my rabbi and this is--
-不可能 怎么可能啊-我 是啊 我知道 -Get the hell out of here. What? -I'm-- Yeah. I know.
-你也要加入我们了-对 对 -You're joining the team? -SIENNA: I am. I am.
-你能加入我们可真高兴-谢了 -We are so happy to have you. -SIENNA: Thanks.
你准备好多多抱怨了吗 Are you prepared to complain a lot?
拜托 多好的人我都能挑出毛病来 Please, I can kvetch with the best of them.
对吧-哇 -Come on. -Wow.
-太厉害了 -是呢 -Very impressive. -SIENNA: Yeah.
我必须得问问你原因 不然就显得太不关心了 I'd be remiss if I didn't ask. Why?
所有的一切我都喜欢 I like the whole thing.
我喜欢你们的食物 社区 I like the food and the community,
而且说句实话 我喜欢这些人 and truth be told, you know, I like the men.
当然 抛开最明显的理由 Aside from the obvious, you know, reasons.
什么是 What, uh...
最明显的理由 我咋没理解呢 These obvious reasons escape me.
-是什么-就是 这个 -What are they? -I mean, you know, the...
无法接受另一种选择 Can't deal with the alternative.
-哇-是啊 -Wow. Yeah.
-真高兴见到你-我也是 -It's so good to see you. -Very good to see you, too.
-我有个问题要问你-你问 -I have one question for you. -Sure.
-这墙是干嘛的-这个啊 -What is this wall? -LARRY: Oh! This is, um--
就是 是 跟网球相关的 It--It's a- It's, uh, for tennis.
他们把网球锦标赛的获胜者放到墙上了 They put the winners of the tournament up.
你们还有寺庙网球锦标赛呢 You guys do a temple tennis tournament?
-他们有个寺庙锦标赛-我特别迷 -They have a temple tourn---I am obsessed
-网球-是 我知道 但这就是个墙 而且 -with tennis. -No, yeah, I know, but it's just a wall, and--
对 你应该参加明年的锦标赛 Yeah, you should enter the tournament next year.
寺庙还有 他们居然还有这种比赛啊 The temple has-- They have a temple tournament?
-寺庙锦标赛 对-混合双打吗 -The temple tournament, yeah. -Mixed doubles?
-对-混合双打 -Come on. Yes. -Mixed doubles, yeah.
太赞了 你最近怎么样 Amazing. How's everything?
要上庭的那个案子呢 事情发展到什么地步了 How's the whole court case? How's everything working out?
挺吓人的 想到结果就挺害怕的 It's scary, yeah. It's a frightening prospect.
我是说 我可以认罪 I mean, I could plead guilty
-然后这事就算过了-天 我天 -and just get off but... -Oh, my... Oh, my God.
但我不打算那么做 -...I'm not gonna do that. -Wow.
而且我觉得这事本没什么大不了的 And I don't think it's a big deal.
你真棒 That's so sweet.
对了 下周我想搞个晚餐派对 Um, listen, I'm having a dinner party next week.
我不知道你有没有空 但我 I don't know if you're around, but I would...
我很想你能来参加 -I'd love you to come.
真的 到时会有很多人 SIENNA: Really. There are so many people
想见你 跟你聊聊什么的 that would love to meet you and talk to you,
而且我也很愿意再见到你 and I would love to see you again.
所以 你觉得呢 So, maybe?
下周找个时间 如果你在的话 Next week sometime? If you're here.
大家都会觉得很荣幸的 It would be an honor for all of us.
你觉得怎么样 -What do you say?
我可能 Ah. I don't think I can...
去不了 make it.
好吧 Okay.
那就希望我们能在其它场合偶遇彼此吧 Well, let's just hope we can run into each other again.
-好 希望能-是 那我该走了 -Yeah, hope so. -Yeah. I gotta schmeitz.
-但是-你该什么了 -But, um... -LARRY: You what?
-走了-这词什么意思 -Schmeitz. -What's that one?
-该走了的意思-是啊 -Gotta go. -Oh, yeah.
-是意第绪语-我又涨姿势了 -SIENNA: It's Yiddish. -That's a new one to me.
是啊 学到了吧 Yeah, well, there you go.
我要迟到了 JENNA: I'm running a little late,
你不如在这让我下车吧 就这 正合适 so you can just drop me off, right here would be perfect.
-确定吗-确定 -FREDDY: Are you sure? -JENNA: Yeah, yeah.
-我就在那上班 -。好吧 -I work right there. -FREDDY: All right.
我不介意再多送你一程如果 I don't mind taking you a little further if it's...
不用啊 我就在那边上班 No, this is great. I work right there.
你是说 你是在这个迪士尼店上面上班 You mean--Do you work above the Disney store?
他们上面是有办公室吗 They have a office or something?
不是啊 我就在迪士尼店里工作啊 No, I work at the Disney store.
所以你是管理不同的迪士尼店铺还是 So, you're managing, uh, the different stores or--
-天 当然不是-会计 -Oh, God no. No. -FREDDY: Accounting?
我可没有搞明白数字的脑袋 That's-- I don't have the head for numbers.
不好意思 那 我 你具体是干什么的 I'm so sorry. What--I'm-- What do you do here?
我是迎宾员啊 跟客人聊聊天什么的 I'm a greeter, and I talk to the guests.
我就扮成公主的摸样 就像 I put on a costume, like, a princess, like...
白雪公主或者艾尔莎 ...Snow White or Elsa
艾莉尔或者星际宝贝 or Ariel or Lilo or Stitch.
我最喜欢的也是米奇最喜欢的就是 My favorite is Mickey's favorite.
米妮老鼠 Minnie Mouse.
最棒的 -嗯 -It's the best. -Yeah.
- 你这些都是在 - 就在那 -And you do all of that... -Right there.
在迪士尼店铺里-对啊 -At the Disney store? -Yeah.
你知道如果你当初说了店铺俩字 You know what would be so helpful with that,
-就不会混淆了-我每天就说 -is the "store" part. -JENNA: Yeah, I'm like,
你好 请进 "Hello. Come in.
欢迎来到商场里最神奇的店铺 The most magical store in the mall."
所以你在迪士尼完全没有任何管理 You don't have any managerial or developmental role
- 或者开发的角色 -没有 -at Disney at all? That's a---No.
-我是个高级角色-那低级角色是什么 -I mean, I'm a senior character. -What's a junior character?
就比如 I would say, like, mm,
《小医师大玩偶》这种吧 -Doc McStuffins. -Uh-huh.
但我真得走了 But listen, I gotta go.
-昨晚好开心-是啊 -I had so much fun last night. -Sure.
-昨晚我也很开心 拜-那再见了 拜 -It was a great evening. Bye-bye. Okay. -I'll see you later. Bye.
天哪 Oh, boy.
拜 -Bye.
好了 留到你里面再用吧 All right. Save it for in there.
- 我会的- 别都浪费在我身上了 -I will. -Don't drain the tank with me.
-我会的-别都浪费在我身上了 -I will. -Don't drain the tank with me.
你怎么可能不知道呢 LARRY: How did you not know that?
我怎么知道呢 我们聊了电影音乐 How would I know? We're talking about movies and music,
然后她跟我说她在迪士尼工作 and she tells me she works for Disney.
你就从没问过她到底做什么的 You never asked her about her job?
迪士尼怎么样 哪个部门 What about Disney? What department?
拉里 她住格兰岱尔啊 Okay, Larry. She lives in Glendale.
我就以为她是搞 I just assumed she's like, you know,
动画制作什么的 她就 animation or something. She's right--
我也没想到她居然是在阿美莉卡购物中心上班啊 I didn't know she was working at the fucking Americana.
我说实话 感觉自己好像生活在谎言之中 I mean, I feel like I've been living a lie, I gotta be honest.
我脑子里想的都是些高大上的东西 I mean, I had this whole great thing in my head
本来还挺兴奋的 现在我都给整崩溃了 that I was excited about, and now I just feel crushed.
你以为认识了一个有成就的人 Well, you had somebody who's accomplished.
她有地位 现在地位没了 She had a status, and the status is gone.
你觉得这说明了你什么问题 So, what is that saying about you?
你说的对 这事的确反应了我某些问题 The thing is, is you're right. It does say something about me.
问题就是 这会让你反思自己是谁 The problem is this makes you reflect on who you are,
因为她还是那个人没变 because she's the same person.
她还是会讲好听的故事 I mean, she has the same great stories.
有着同样的幽默感 It's the same sense of humor.
喜欢和讨厌的东西也没变 It's the same likes and dislikes,
但就是 感觉不一样了 but it just-- it feels so different.
我觉得通过这件事你要学到一个教训 I think there's a lesson to be learned here.
问题女人就喜欢问题 Questions. Women like questions.
只要你跟人约会 你们一起出去 When you have a date with someone, you go out,
你就要可劲儿问问题 you've gotta ask a ton of questions.
否则 等她们回到朋友那 Otherwise, they're going back to their friends,
你知道她们会怎么说吗 and you know what they're saying?
他一个问题都没问过我 她们就是超爱你提问 "He didn't ask me one question." They love questions.
-你会怎么做 说实话-我就比较肤浅 -What would you do? Honestly. -I'm so superficial,
-我肯定就分了-真的吗 立刻就分吗 -I'd probably break up. -You would? Right away?
对啊 我可不 我可不会跟米妮老鼠约会 Yeah. I'm not--I'm not gonna date Minnie Mouse.
我觉得我会做的是 至少去试试 I think the thing I gotta do is at least kind of try.
跟她相处一段时间 看看能不能弥合差距 You know, spend some time with her and bridge the gap.
-我天-怎么了 -Oh, my God. -What is it?
我还给了她一个剧本 I gave her a script to read.
-她说她很乐意看看-那你当初怎么没问问 -She said she'd be happy to! -Well, why didn't you ask her
她到底在搞什么项目 what kind of development she did?
她为什么要拿走剧本呢 Why is she taking a script?
你打算听听她做的批注吗 Are you gonna listen to the notes?
对我听听米妮老鼠到底能做出啥批注来 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna listen to the notes from Minnie Mouse!
沙滩上回现新冠广告那段 The callback to the Corona ad on the beach?
-太赞了吧 我超爱的-你喜欢哈 -So, so good. I loved that part. -You liked--Okay.
-好 太好了-对 喜欢 -Okay. Thank God. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
谢谢你-说实话 戴娜 -Thank you. -Honestly, Dana,
看到用喜剧手法展现疫情的剧本真的令人耳目一新 it's really refreshing to see a comedic, apocalyptic show.
所以你是觉得整个架构都不错 So you're buying the whole premise?
-绝对啊-那可太好了 -Oh, I'm-- Totally. -You believe it? That's great.
-因为我都已经准备好了-说到问题 -'Cause it is out-there. -And when it comes to questions,
-我还有最后一个 -嗯 -one last thing. -Yeah.
-麦格-麦格 -Meg. -Meg.
-我不太明白-你不明白 -I didn't understand... -DANA: You didn't understand?
- 嗯 我不 我不明白-比如她想要什么 -Yeah, I didn't--I didn t---Like, what she wanted?
-对-是 这部分我也有点挣扎 -Yeah. -No, I struggled with that.
她现在有点一维化的感觉 She's a little one dimensional right now.
-我还有更多-还有是吧 -I had more in there. -You did?
她的背景故事上学的目的 所有这些 Her backstory, what she went to school for, all that stuff,
-最后一刻我把它们都抽出去了-我觉得你应该都放回来 -and I took it out last minute. -I think you should put it back.
这太简单了 没问题 That's so easy. I can do that.
对 很长吗 Yeah, and, um, does it feel long?
-对 我差点就删短了感觉应该很长 -Yes, and I almost trimmed it. -It does feel long.
对 我差点删了-好 -Yes, I almost trimmed it. -Okay.
-真是太尴尬了 我就该再严格要求自己一点-别这么说 -I'm so embarrassed. I know. I just need to tighten it up. -No, don't be!
戴娜 我觉得你这剧本真心不错 Dana, I think you have such a good script here.
-太感谢了-我真的是挺兴奋的 -Thank you so much. -You're getting me so excited,
而且你能让我读我也要谢谢你 and I just wanna thank you for letting me read it.
-开什么玩笑 我要谢谢你肯读才是-哪有 -Are you kidding me? Thank you for reading it. -No, seriously.
如果你还有其它剧本需要我帮看的 And if there's anything else you want me to read...
真的吗_-当然啊 -Are you serious? -Of course.
真为你和你的未来感到兴奋 I'm so excited for you and your future.
我天 我天 我们出了套新品的 Oh, my God, oh, my God. We're coming out with a new line
小美人鱼睡衣 我能拿到折扣 of Little Mermaid sleepwear, and I get a discount,
如果你把尺码发给我 我可以帮你弄一套 so if you text me your sizes, I can hook you up.
太赞了 Amazing.
嘿 要来点吗 LARRY: Hey, you want some of this?
-你洗手了吗-没有 -You wash your hands? -No.
是 因为你是做给自己喝的 Yeah. 'Cause you're making it for yourself,
所以你搞的就跟三垒跑垒指挥员似的 不要 so you're doing all this stuff like a third base coach. No.
你们聊什么呢 What you guys talking about?
嘿嘿 看看这个啊 我带礼物来的 Hey, hey! Look at this. I come bearing gifts.
-靠 伙计 别这样啊 -看看这是什么 -Oh, shit, man. Don't do this. -What do we think it is?
-你开玩笑呢吧 -没有 -Oh. Are you kidding me? -No.
你说你喜欢嘛 -Wow. -You said you liked it,
-所以我就送你了-我是那么说过 -so I'm giving it to you. -LEON: I did say that.
来 穿上给我们看看 Come on, do us the honors.
-我这就穿-真不错 -Oh, I'ma put this shit on, man. -That's something.
太精神了 -Wow. -Looking sharp.
- 我去 - 我觉得特衬你 -LARRY: Holy cow. -I think it looks incredible.
中午有人想吃中餐吗 Anybody wanna get Chinese food for lunch today?
-算了-很遗憾我吃不了 -LEON: Nah. Fuck that. -I unfortunately can't
我得去见米妮老鼠 'cause I gotta see Minnie Mouse.
我觉得我的态度要好点 You know, I'm gonna have a better attitude about it.
-她还是原来的她对吧 -没错 -She's the same person, right? -Same person.
既然约好了我就要去赴约 我还打算好好处 I got a date, I'm gonna keep it, and I'm gonna make it work.
-好 -谢了 -Okay. -Thank you for everything.
-客气 -我也谢谢你 -Sure. -Appreciate it too, man.
-我谢谢你-我谢谢你 神秘圣诞老人 -I appreciate you. -Appreciate you, Secret Santa.
天 他把外套送给你真心不错 Jesus, that's amazing he gave you that jacket.
-太好心了-你知道咋回事不 -That was so nice. -Know what it is?
这就是“我喜欢”这话起作用了 It's the "I like it" gambit.
你只需要夸他们 All you gotta do is compliment people
不管穿什么你都夸 on what the fuck they're wearing,
然后他们就会把衣服送你了 next thing you know, they gonna give you one.
这主意还真不错 You know what? It's not a bad idea.
绝对好主意啊 哥们 It's a fucking great idea. Shit, man.
我敢说有一半机会能成事儿 I'll bet that works like 50 percent of the time.
真想有个麂皮包头巾配这上衣 Wish I had a suede do-rag to go with this motherfucker.
-是啊-那就好了 -Mm-hmm. Yeah. -That'd be nice.
把那东西一戴上 -Put that bitch on.
然后就跟他们说 我喜欢 And I just tell 'em, "I like that bullshit
你穿的这件衣服 you got on." You know?
去你妈的 拉里 You know what? Fuck you, Larry.
去你妈的 拉里 -LEON: Fuck you, Larry!
有事 CHERYL DAVID: So, what's going on?
没什么事 You know, not that much.
这 这是什么材料的 What is, uh-- What is this material?
- 你管这叫啥 -棉质 -What do you call this material? -Cotton.
-你说这是棉的-你来干嘛 -You think this is cotton? -Why are you here?
就是吧 Um, well,
- 其实挺简单的-你说 -it's very simple, really. -CHERYL: Okay.
他们不是翻新了那个寺庙嘛 Um, so they renovated the temple,
然后重修了广场 然后他们就卖砖 and they have this plaza, and they were selling
找人做慈善 these bricks for charity.
然后霍比·特纳在上面写了毁我名声的话 And Hobie Turner wrote something very defamatory about me,
现在大家都能看到 and it's there for everyone to see.
上面说 拉里·大卫不尊重女人 It says, "Larry David is disrespectful to women."
不可能嘛 谢丽尔 我怎么会 Come on, Cheryl. I'm not disrespect--
我爱女人 谁还能比我更爱女人呢 I love women. Who loves women more than me?
我喜欢跟她们做爱 喜欢跟她们聊天 I love having sex with them. I love talking to them.
我简直就是女性的捍卫者 I'm a champion of women.
作为女性捍卫者 Being a champion to women
-就是在说你爱-我经常被女人吸引 -is saying you love---Well, I'm attracted to women.
- 我喜欢她们 -行吧 -I like them. -Okay.
这还是有区别的 There's a difference. Okay.
所以我想找个我认识的人来驳斥他一下 So, I'd like to refute his brick by having somebody who I know
给我写点好话-在砖上吗 -write something nice about me. -On the brick?
对 我嫁给拉里·大卫多年 Yes. "I was married to Larry David for many years,
他是个名符其实的女性捍卫者 and he's a veritable champion of women."
就类似这种的 放在他那块砖旁边 Something like that, right next to it.
他们先读到他的 然后就会读到你的 They'll read his first. They'll read yours second.
你也捐块转 You buy a brick.
不可能 -I don't think so.
- 为啥 - 这感觉就不对 -Why not? -Eh, it doesn't feel right.
什么 怎么不对了 What? What's not right?
-因为一听就是扯淡-好吧 你不用说那么具体 -Because it sounds bullshitty. -Okay, well, you don't have to say that exactly.
你想说什么都行 You can say anything.
就说点好听的 你能 你觉得能说点 Say something nice. Can you-- You think you could come up
好听的吗-嘿谢丽尔 -with something nice? -TED DANSON: Hey, Cheryl?
我是说 -I mean... -Oh.
嗨-嗨拉里 -Hi. -Hi, Larry.
-嗨 -等他走了 -Hi. -TED: Can we run lines
-我们能对下台词吗 -拉里说 -when he goes? -Well, Larry
有人在砖块上毁他名声 has a defamatory brick,
然后他想多买点砖 and he wants me to buy more bricks.
对 有人在砖上诽谤我 Yeah, somebody wrote a defamatory brick about me.
说 拉里·大卫不尊重女人 It says, "Larry David is disrespectful to women."
- 哎呀 -这话说的多过分 而我是爱女人的 泰德 -Ouch, ouch. -Terrible, terrible thing to say. And I love women, Ted.
他喜欢和女人们做爱 Well, he loves having sex with women,
他认为这就证明了 and he thinks that that proves
他尊重女人-除了这个 -that he respects women. -LARRY: Well, that,
还有其它事情啊 and there are other things, too.
拉里 我完全理解 Larry, completely understand.
问题是我们已经买过砖了 The deal is we already bought a brick.
-对-对吧 买过了 -Oh. Yeah. -Right? Didn't we?
-我们买过了-你们已经买了 -We already bought a brick. -You already bought a brick?
我跟你说起这事的时候你明明是一无所知的样儿 You didn't even know what I was talking about when I brought up the brick.
你肯定是跟我说过结果我给忘了 You probably told me and I forgot or something.
-谁知道呢 但是-我可能 可能 -I don't know. But---I might--I might--
也许是我忘了跟你说 You know, maybe I forgot to tell you.
-抱歉 但我们确实买了 -对 泰德做过很多事 -I'm sorry. But we did. We bought a brick. -Yeah. Ted does a lot of things.
-他 他就是个喜欢做慈善的人-你买砖了是吧 -He does-- He's very charitable. -You bought a brick, huh?
-对-那你那块砖上写的什么 泰德 -Yes. -What does your brick say, Ted?
什么都没写 空的 Nothing. We left it blank.
什么都没写哈一对 The brick says nothing? -TED: Yeah.
我们就是为了捐款嘛 又不是给自己做广告的 You know, we're raising money. We're not trying to advertise.
我觉得你没买 I don't think you bought a brick.
-你说呢 -听着 我说了 -What do you think about that? -Yeah. Look, the point is
我们买过了 拉里 we bought a fucking brick, Larry.
这么着吧 我给你们来个简单的 Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll make it very easy for you.
砖我来买 我写点好听的话 I'll buy the brick. I'll write something nice.
你们只需要署个名就行 All you gotta do is put your name on it.
-我觉得不合适-什么 -I don't feel comfortable. -LARRY: What? I mean,
你就说 我与拉里·大卫曾是夫妻 what if it just said, "I was married to Larry David,
-他是个体面的人-谁会在砖上写这种话啊 -and he's a decent guy"? -Who writes that on a brick?
-就是 这不诚实-那你来写 -Yeah. It's dishonest. -Well, then you write it.
我没什么话好说 Well, I don't have anything to say on a brick.
-就是 -就在砖上夸我一下 -Yeah. There you go. -You can't think of one
你就一句都没有吗 nice thing to say about me on a brick?
写砖上不行 No, not on a brick.
行 那咱就事论事 All right, so just for argument's sake,
如果不写砖上 is there anything nice
关于我你能说点好听的吗 you could say about me that's not on a brick?
有啊 Yes.
比如在蛋糕 Something on a cake.
-恭喜-干的不错-神日快乐 -"Congratulations." "Good job."-"Happy birthday."
他有时高尔夫打的还行 你要再续点茶吗 "He's a good golfer, sometimes." You want some more tea?
-你进来是续茶的吗 -对 我想再来点茶 -Is that what you were coming in here for? Okay. -Yes, I'd love some more tea.
你还打算待多久 拉里 How much longer do you think you'll be staying, Larry?
我这就走 I'm leaving right now.
我需要对一下台词 没别的 I just need to learn these lines, that's all.
钢笔不错 Nice pen.
-谢谢 -真挺好 看看他那笔 -Thank you. -Good pen. Look at that pen.
-真是支不错的钢笔-谢谢 -That's some pen. -Thank you.
你从哪弄到这么好的钢笔的 Yeah, how do you get a pen like that?
你想要是吧 拉里 Do you want the pen, Larry?
我不会要的 Oh, I'm not gonna take your pen.
-拿去吧-真的吗 -Take the pen. -LARRY: Really?
-对 拿走-你真的要把钢笔送我吗 -TED: Yes, take the pen. -You're giving me your pen?
砖的事祝你好运了 Good luck with the brick.
好吧 这句如何 他是一个和蔼可来的人 Okay. How's this? "He's an amiable fellow
好吧 这句如何 他是一个和蔼可亲的人 Okay. How's this? "He's an amiable fellow
也是标题九法案的忠实支持者 and a big supporter of Title Nine."
-扯淡-好吧 -Oh, bullshit. -LARRY: All right.
他是一个和蔼可亲的人 还两次参加了女子篮球联赛 "He's an amiable fellow who's attended two WNBA games."
真的吗-不是 -Is that true? -No.
再说了 你从来都不去 And besides, you never went to one
萨米的垒球比赛 我邀请过你多少次了 of Sammy's softball games. I invited you so many times.
那孩子连个铅笔都拿不起来 The kid couldn't even lift up a pencil.
够了 Oh, stop it.
-她很有天分好嘛-好吧 那这句呢 -She's very talented! -All right, how 'bout this?
被拉里·大卫搞大了肚子的女人 "Any woman who Larry David impregnated,
他不仅付了堕胎钱 he not only paid for the abortion,
还亲自陪她们去堕胎 but accompanied her to the procedure."
-这是真的-你就是在浪费我的时间 走吧 -That's true. -You're wasting my time. Leave.
-你不打算买砖了吗-很明显不啊 -You're not gonna buy a brick? -Apparently not.
罗德夫·肖勒姆寺庙 传承广场
拉里·大卫每月都会捐款
-喂-嘿 拉里 塞勒斯 -Hello? -Hey, Larry. It's Cyrus.
-厄玛的导师-是 我知道你是谁 -Irma's sponsor. -Yeah, I know who you are.
我打给你是因为我女儿 Yeah, look, I just wanted to call you because my daughter
跟你推荐的那个女人见面了 met with that woman you recommended.
-詹娜-哦对 她吧 -Uh, Jenna. -Yeah, look, um...
你得 You gotta--
-她简直太赞了 -什么 -She was great. -What?
我女儿说她给的建议都特别棒 My daughter said she gave great notes.
剧本现在变得更好了 She made the script better.
- 她真是太厉害了- 真的吗 -She was amazing. -Seriously?
对啊 我本以为她都不爱搭理我女儿呢 Yeah! I thought she wouldn't even give her the time of day.
对于一个位高权重的管理层来说 Yeah, for a high-powered executive,
她还真是挺接地气的对吧 she's very down to Earth, isn't she?
对啊 CYRUS: Yeah. Right?
而且她们竟然是在咖啡厅碰的面-我知道 -They even met at a coffee shop. -LARRY: I know.
你会觉得她就是个普通人 You'd think she's just a regular person.
总之 戴娜想给她在迪士尼的办公室 Anyway, Dana wanted to send her some flowers
送个花篮感谢一下 to her office at Disney.
所以想看看你能不能把地址给我 So, if you could shoot me her address.
我觉得吧 Eh, you know, I don't--
我觉得你没必要 I don't think you need to do that.
我就住在格兰岱尔阿美莉卡购物中心这 Well, I live by the Americana in Glendale.
我可以过去买张礼物卡 I could just go over and get a gift card
然后送过去 and send it over.
-如何 -不 没必要 -How 'bout that? -LARRY: No, not necessary.
我会把你的谢意 I'll just pass on, um,
-送到的-拉里 -your enthusiasm. -IRMA: Larry!
好吧 那就听你的 CYRUS: Okay, well, you know best...
拉里 我的睡眠文胸在哪啊 IRMA: Larry, where are my sleep brassieres?
-我特么怎么知道-讲真 -How the fuck do I know? -CYRUS: Seriously,
我真的是欠你个大人情真的 I just wanna say, I owe you one. I really do.
如果有什么事我能帮到你的 If there's anything I can do for you...
- 拉里 - 什么 -IRMA: Larry! -What?
-那么-算了 -CYRUS: So, uh... -IRMA: Never mind.
就在洗衣筐里 也没那么脏嘛 They were in the hamper. They're not that dirty.
任何我能帮的上忙的 你说一声就行 CYRUS: Anything you need from me, you just say the word, okay?
既然你提到了 You know, um... now that you mention it,
我确实有点事想让你帮个忙 there actually is something you can do.
好 你说 Yeah, say the word.
根据你的时间表 --According to your timeline,
我跟厄玛还剩下8周时间 I have eight weeks left with Irma.
我想问问有没有可能 I'm wondering if there's any possible way
-把这时间提前点-等等 -that we can move that up. -Wait.
你是说 你想早点跟她分手吗 You're saying you want to break up with her early?
对 就是这个意思 Yes, that's exactly what I mean.
-有什么原因吗-有 我讨厌她 -Is there any reason? -Yeah, I hate her.
这就是原因 你觉得如何 That's the reason. How's that?
我不知道该怎么说 Look, I don't know what to tell you.
我挣扎无比 塞勒斯 I'm struggling here, Cyrus,
而且西恩娜·米勒对我感兴趣 and Sienna Miller is interested in me.
-我不是开玩笑的一真的吗 -I'm not joking. -CYRUS: Really?
是真的 这种好事上哪找去啊 对吧 She is. When is this gonna happen again? Never.
所以 拜托了 So, come on. G...
帮你老哥一把 能想点办法吗 Help a brother out. Is there anything we can do?
拉里 感谢你为我们所做的一切 CYRUS: Larry, I appreciate everything you've done for us,
但是分手会让她的情况退步 but a breakup would just set her back,
我不能眼看这种事发生啊 and I can't allow that to happen.
那也比谋杀强吧 Is that better than murder?
谋杀发生后谁能受益 她死了我坐牢了 Who benefits from murder? She's dead and I'm in prison.
拉里 我知道你现在说的话都不是真心的 Larry, I think you're saying a lot of things you don't mean right now.
不 都是真心的 No, no, I mean it.
别这样 总有办法的吧 Come on. There's gotta be a way.
如果她能跟你分手 If she were to break up with you,
-我想这应该行-她先提 -I guess that would be okay. -Her idea?
因为这样会让她有把控感 Then that would give her the power,
- 让她做主导 -嗯 -give her her own agency. -LARRY: Oh, yeah.
好像这是她的主意哈 Like it's gonna be her idea.
这怎么可能 永远不可能发生的好嘛 On what planet? That's never gonna happen.
抱歉 但还是谢谢你 I'm sorry. But thank you.
拉里 我的拇外翻夹板呢 IRMA: Larry, where are my bunion splints?
今天真的特别棒 你知道潘妮吧 Today was amazing, though. 'Cause you know Penny?
她通常扮花栗鼠 She's normally a chipmunk,
奇奇或者蒂蒂 Chip or Dale, and she's in, like,
- 她就一直穿着皮草 -是 -what we call fur all the time. -Right.
这周她居然扮小叮当了 JENNA: She got to be Tinkerbell this week,
简直难以置信 我们真的都为她开心 and it was unbelievable, and we were so happy for her.
而且她对孩子们特别友善 And she was so good with the kids.
而且她自己也特别享受 And she was just having the best time ever,
因为她从来都没露过脸的 because she's never a face character.
扮演小精灵其实她个子有点高了 I mean, she's a little tall to be a pixie,
但她真的很棒 but she was incredible.
然后他们还有彼得·潘 And they had a Peter Pan.
-是-那天伊恩扮的彼得·潘 -Right. -JENNA: Ian was being Peter Pan
然后他们之间的化学就 that day, and the chemistry was...
-欢迎回来 先生-谢谢 -WAITER: Welcome back, sir. -LARRY: Thank you.
我想坐水族箱旁边那桌 I'd like a table for two by the aquarium.
那张桌子有人预定了 -That table is reserved. -RICHARD: Mm.
但我们床边这边的位置也特别好 But we have nice table over here by window.
-预定了哈-对 -Oh, it's reserved? -Yes.
行吧 那我们过去吧 Okay, we'll go over there.
好 你跟我来 先生 这边请 Okay. You follow me, sir. This way.
好吧 行 LARRY: All right. Okay.
先生 先生 有事吗 WAITER: Sir. Sir. Sir, can I help you?
不好意思 先生 -Excuse me, sir. -Hmm.
您的桌子在那边 Your table that way.
那条卡在那的 Yeah, what happened to the orange fish
橘色金鱼呢 that was stuck?
那条鱼伤心了 所以我们给换了个新地方 Fish sad, so we changed new location.
换地方会让金鱼开心 Change of scenery make much happy fish.
所以你们把鱼搬走了 So, you moved the fish?
对 鱼在市中心会过的更好 Yes. Fish living best life in downtown.
-非常开心-你们可真好 -Very happy there. -That was so nice of you.
你可以去看望你的新朋友 橘色金鱼 You can go visit your new friend, orange fish.
金鱼死了这点事我能承受 你说实话就行 I can handle the death of the fish. Just tell me.
鱼好着呢 欣欣向荣的 Fish fine. Fish thriving.
不不 鱼卡住了 死了 No, no, fish stuck. Fish dead.
不是 鱼病了 走了 No. Fish sick. Fish gone.
卡住 死了 Stuck. Dead.
-病了 走了 病了 走了-卡住 死了 卡住 死了 -Sick, gone! Sick, gone! -Stuck, dead! Stuck, dead!
-鱼不再需要你的关心了-我永远不会忘了鱼的 -Fish not your problem anymore. -I will not forget fish.
好吧 我会给你们送点水的 Okay, I bring your table some water.
-你的鱼怎样了-鱼死了 -How's your fish? -Fish dead.
听我说 你真该看看厄玛 Listen to me. You should've heard Irma
今天在互助会上的表现 today at the AA meeting.
你肯定会被深深打动的 她分享了半小时 You would've been blown away. She shared for a half hour.
-是嘛 她都说啥了-我 首先 -Well, what did she say? -I-- First of all,
我是不会告诉你的 I would never tell you.
互助会有原则 有指南的 In AA, there's principles, there's guidelines.
所以圣塔莫妮卡的酒鬼能听她说的话 So, any wino in Santa Monica can hear what she's saying,
-但我就听不得-互助会是私密的 就酱 -but I can't? -AA is private, man. That's it.
-我不会告诉别人的-我不会说的 -I'm not gonna tell anybody. -I just won't do it.
但我们是好哥们啊 我们无话不谈的 But we're good friends. We tell each other everything.
-我不会说的-所以你是不打算告诉我了 -I'm not telling you. -So, you're not gonna tell me?
不打算 -No. -Hmm.
如果我把你写进遗嘱里呢 Suppose I put you in my will?
她的第一任老公 发生了可怕的事故 Her first husband, horrible accident,
她衣不解带寸步不离的照顾他 就跟看护一样 and she was with him 24/7, like a caregiver.
-他坐轮椅了吗-更严重 -Was he in a wheelchair? -Worse.
-带尿片了-浑身上下都是尿片 -Diapers? -He had diapers everywhere.
裹的跟个木乃伊似的 没了几个脚指头 He was like a fucking mummy. He lost some of his toes.
脊椎骨都突出来了-我天 -His spine was sticking out. -Oh, my God.
他不能动 不能走路 RICHARD: He couldn't move. He couldn't walk.
然后她就开始酗酒 越喝越多 And she started to drink more and more,
然后就变成了一个酒鬼 and then she became an alcoholic over this.
有天她醒过来 就想 And then one day she woke up, she went,
这不是我想象中的生活 "You know, this is not the way I envisioned my life."
于是她就不管他了 So, she just left the guy high and dry.
因为她不想再继续照顾他了吗 'Cause she didn't want to take care of him?
对 因为她想考虑自己的生活 Yeah, 'cause she wanted to think about her own life.
自私 那可是她老公啊 Selfish. That's her husband.
她再没去见过他 She never wanted to see him again.
是尿片惹的祸 It was the diapers.
她说自己也并不理直气壮 She said she wasn't proud of it,
但如果再发生这种情形 but if the situation happened again,
她还是会选择这么做的 她还是会离开 she would do the same thing. She would still split.
她知道自己想要什么生活 You know, she knows what she wants in life.
我问你件事吧 Let me ask you something.
所以你打算遗嘱里分我多少 How much were you thinking about leaving me?
不 没有 Oh. No, nothing. Yeah.
-什么-就蒙你的 -What? -It was a trick
好让你告诉我她讲了什么 你就上当了 to get you to talk about it, which you did.
三分钟我的钱就没了 In three minutes, I lost all that money?
你就不该告诉我 我就随便一说 You shouldn't have told me. That's all it took
你就放弃了神圣的互助会誓言吗 to get it out of you, your solemn AA oath?
他们就该踢你出去 They should kick you out of there.
我也有弱点嘛-我完全可以 -I have weaknesses. -I got a good mind
-举报你-还是吃饭吧 -to squeal on you. -Now, let's eat.
嗨 拉里 抱歉 Um, hey, Larry. Sor--Uh...
天呢 你怎么 --Oh, my God. What...
你怎么回事啊 What's going on here?
我昨晚工作得太晚了 我 I was, uh, working late last night. I--
我被赶出家了 所以 I got kicked out of my house, so...
你被赶出家了 You got kicked out of your house?
对对 进来吧 CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, yeah. Come on in.
我们是约了要碰面吗还是 Um, did we have a meeting or something?
你为啥被赶出来了 Why'd you get kicked out?
-怎么了-实话实说 你知道的 -What happened? -Well, quite frankly, you know,
你搞得我满脑子都是给孩子冠姓的事儿 you stuck this thing in my head about naming babies,
我俩大吵了一架 狂扔东西撒气 and we got in a big fight, and things were thrown,
你啥啥都要插一脚 所以现在 and you got in the middle of everything, and now,
我们也不知道要给孩子用哪个姓了 you know, we don't know what we're gonna name the baby.
-所以还成我的错了-拉里 是你让我们 -Oh, so it's my fault. -Larry, you planted this thing
有了这个想法 然后你还提到了精子的事儿 in our head, and then you brought up semen.
这和你有啥关系啊 我 Like, that's none of your business about I--
你是说 即使用的是你的精子 -what I do with my own semen. -LARRY: Oh, are you telling me that if it's your semen,
你也没有给孩子冠姓的权利 you shouldn't have the right to name the baby?
-嗯 但这是我的私事-是你的精子啊 -Yeah, but it's my business, -LARRY: It's your semen.
我也没管你怎么用你的精液啊 I don't tell you what to do with your semen.
好 那我要怎么用我的精液 Well, what am I gonna do with semen?
正常的男人都知道要怎么用精液 A normal man knows what to do with semen.
我用精液做的都是正常的事情呀 擦干净丢掉 I do normal things with semen. I wipe it up and throw it away.
不然还能怎么用 What else could you do with semen?
你可以让别人怀孕 Well, you could impregnate somebody else
生个孩子 and have a baby.
好 如果我真这么做了 而我另一半姓 Okay. If I did do that and my partner's name
帕帕罗帕多帕洛斯 was Papalopadopalous,
那我肯定要让孩子姓大卫 I would use David as the last name.
好吧 那什么 这是你的特权 Okay, and you know what? That would be your prerogative.
而且我也不会冲着你说 你应该让孩子 And I wouldn't come to you and say you should name it
姓这个或者姓那个 还开始给你的孩子乱起名 this or that and start naming your baby.
对 对 但你心里清楚 Yes. Yes, but you knew deep down
-我是对的-不 我没有 -that I was right. -CHRISTOPHER: No, I didn't.
这就是为什么你和你老公提起这事儿 And that's why you brought it up.
为什么你俩大吵一架 为什么你被赶出家门 That's why you had a fight. That's why you got kicked out.
-我说得对吧-拉里 你太过分了 -Isn't that so? -Larry, you're out of order.
让我和我老公给我们自己的孩子起名吧 你别再说了 Let me name my own baby with my husband. End of story.
我和你说实话 我有点惊讶 To tell you the truth, I'm kind of surprised
你竟然把锅甩给我 you're sloughing off the blame on me.
我也很惊讶你竟然不承认这是你的锅 And I'm equally surprised you won't accept the blame.
我觉得我比你惊讶多了 I think I'm way more surprised than you...
-我觉得我-关于甩锅的事儿 -CHRISTOPHER: I think I'm---...about the sloughing of the blame.
我真的无比惊讶你竟然不承认 And I'm really wildly surprised that you aren't accepting.
我真的不敢相信 I am so incredulous
你觉得我比你更应该背这锅 that you think I am more to blame than you.
-你来到底要干嘛 拉里-我可以起诉寺庙吗 -What are you doing here, Larr? -Can I sue a temple?
- 为什么 -寺庙里 -For what? -There's a defamatory brick
有块砖造我的谣 你 at that temple. Did--
-哦对 我看到了 对-你看到了 -Oh, yeah. I saw that. Yeah. -LARRY: You saw that?
你看到的时候有什么反应 What was your reaction when you saw that?
没反应 他们想干嘛都可以 It's fine. They can do anything they want.
这是宗教自由-宗教自由 -It's freedom of religion. -Freedom of religion?
对 他们受保护 CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, they're protected by--
你可以到处骂人混蛋 还刻在寺庙上吗 You just go around calling people assholes, and you put it on a temple?
这不算诋毁吗 That's not slander?
我还有什么可以帮你的吗 Anything else I can help you with?
那什么你提交了吗 我们没问题了吧 How'd the, uh, the filing go? Are we good?
天呢 Oh, God.
天呐 -LARRY: Oh, my God:
稍等 稍等 等等 Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
天呢 不不 别和我说 Oh, God. No, no. Don't--Don't even say it.
-你别告诉我 不-我忘记提交了 -Don't tell me. No. -I forgot to file it.
你忘记提交了 You forgot to file it?
-对我忘记提交了-你怎么能忘记的啊 -Yeah, I forgot to file it, -LARRY: How could you forget to file it?
我忘了提交 还不是因为你 I forgot to file it because of the shit
-把我搞成这鬼样 拉里-哟 又是我的错 -you put me through, Larry! -Oh, it's my fault?
-不然呢-你忘了提交还成我的问题了 -CHRISTOPHER: Yes! -It's my fault you forgot to file?
对如果你能接受我孩子的姓 CHRISTOPHER: Yes! And if you accepted it,
这一切都不会发生 then this wouldn't have happened.
你到底为什么要插手我的生活啊 Why did you get involved in my stuff?
-好吧 你现在还能提交吗-不现 在提交不了了 -Well, can you file it now? -No, I can't file it now.
过了截止日期了 It's past the deadline.
-过了截止日期-过了截止日期 -It's past the deadline? -It's past the deadline.
我错过了 I missed it.
那什么我们要上庭打官司了 Look, it's going to trial.
-我可能会坐一年牢的 -你不会坐牢的 -I can go to jail for a year! -You're not gonna go to jail.
我们会赢的 We're gonna win the trial.
我很有信心我们能赢 I'm confident we're going to win.
别担心 好吧 我会优先处理你的案子的 Don't worry about a thing, okay? I'm gonna make this a priority.
我知道你不想听 但我还是想说 I know you don't wanna hear it, but I have to say it anyway.
-说什么-我觉得如果叫泽吉·泽克尔曼 -What is it? -I think a great compromise...
-也算是他做了很大的让步了-麻烦你走吧 好吗 -is Ziggy Zeckelman. -Can you leave, please?
如果他叫泽吉的话 I could so live with Zeckelman with a Ziggy.
听我说一句 你想打赢这场官司吗 Listen to me for once. Do you wanna win this trial?
，想-那就别再给我孩子起名了 -Yes. -Stop naming my baby.
好 Okay.
福茨你不喜欢吗 And you didn't like Foots?
懂了 -Got it.
拜托告诉我你想到好办法了 Tell me you got something good.
-想到了-真的吗 -Oh, I got the goods. -FREDDY: Yeah?
真的 Oh, yeah.
我有一个办法 能让我俩摆脱 Got something that's gonna get us out of this mess
-这个困境-好嘞 快和我说说 -that we're both in. -All right, I'm all ears.
哦对了 鱼死了 Oh, by the way, the fish is dead.
就是顺带一提 FYI.
-是吗-对 -Yeah? -Yeah.
你知道 我有种奇怪的感觉 You know, in a weird way...
好像你和我就是那条小鱼 ...I kind of feel like me and you are that little fish.
我们只想开开心心地游游泳 We just wanna swim and enjoy our day,
却被卡在了过滤器里 but we're stuck in that filter.
-是啊-对吧 -That's true. -Right?
-我们就和那条鱼一样-对 -We're like the fish. -Yeah.
-我们是被卡住的鱼-扭动着大声求救 -We're stuck fish. -Squirming, screaming for help,
但却被困住了 but trapped.
-没有生病-没有 -Not sick. -No.
-而是被卡住了-就是被卡住了 -Stuck. -Just stuck.
-天呐-如果被卡住太长时间 -Oh, my God. -But if you stay stuck too long,
就会生病 然后死掉 you're gonna get sick, and then you're gonna die.
或许 我们要是自由了 I mean, maybe in some small way, the...
从某种程度上来说 也延长了那条小鱼的生命 the fish lives on through us being free.
-你猜怎么着-怎么 -Guess what? -Yeah?
我们会逃离那个过滤器的 We're getting out of that filter.
-太好了-你准备好了吗 -Please. -Are you ready?
-你可以让我们自由吗-当然 -Can you make us unstuck? -Oh, yeah.
听好了 So, here's the deal.
我有事情要和你说 I've got something to tell you.
我要和你说个事儿 I got something that I gotta tell you.
怎么了 弗雷迪 What, Freddy?
是我的健康问题 It's medical.
是我的健康问题 而且会越来越严重 It's a medical thing and it's getting worse.
快放下 Don't do that.
弗雷迪 你的手 JENNA: Freddy, your hand.
叫 格罗特病（瞎编的病名） It's called, uh, Groat's disease.
我得了格罗特病 I have Groat's disease.
会影响神经系统 It affects the nervous system
到最后会大小便失禁 and eventually I become incontinent,
坐都坐不下来 -and you can't even sit.
手抖只是症状的冰山一角 The shaking is the tip of the iceberg.
我得跪着睡觉 需要24小时看护 I have to sleep on my knees, and I need 24-hour care.
我尿尿的时候 And you'll have to hold my penis
-你得扶着我的鸡鸡 -我勒个神哟 -when I pee. -Ay, gevalt.
好吧 我 我 我真的受不了 Okay. I-- I-- I just can't.
支架 分流管和输液港了 The stents and the shunts and the ports,
我听到临终护理这个词 我就 and I hear the word "hospice, " I--
-啧 -我真的不行 LARRY: Yuck. -I-- I can't.
虽然我的心很乱 但我能理解 I'm distraught but I understand.
很开心你能理解 我就是 就是 I'm so glad you do. I just-- I just--
-去活出你的美好人生吧-谢谢你 我做不到 -Go live your beautiful life. -Thank you. I can't.
我真的做不到再来一次 你知道吧 I just couldn't do it again, you know?
对 对 好的 好的 -Yeah. Yeah. Okay, okay.-
走吧 没事的 So, take off. Okay.
-你走吧 去吧-好的 好的 -Yeah, you should go. Yeah. -IRMA: Okay. Okay.
-哦对了-什么 -Oh, you know what? -What?
-我很喜欢你的这个围巾 -什么 这个吗 -I really like that scarf. -IRMA: What, this?
对 上面有个按钮 能加热 对吧 Yeah, it's got a button, and it heats up, right?
给你的脖子保暖 It keeps your neck warm.
你喜欢吗-对 挺不错的 -You like it? -Yeah, it's nice.
那就 送给你吧 You--Listen. Please, take it.
-不用了-拿着吧 -Please, it's the---Oh, please, no.
-拿着吧 这没什么不了的-别 -No, please. It's the lea--Come on.
-你得充电 我的一点小-什么 真的吗 -You gotta charge it, but it's the least---What? Really?
-对 我的一点点小心意-天呢 -Yes. It's the least I can do. -Oh, my gosh.
-这东西太好了-按下这个小按钮 -Oh, what a wonderful thing. -Look, you press the little button there.
就能舒服了 -Yeah, that's gonna comfort you.
让你的甲状腺暖暖的 唉 我觉得好难受哦 Keep your thyroid warm, and... Oh, I feel so bad,
-但是 好吧 大便失禁-对 走吧 快走吧 -but, uh... Okay. Oh, anal leak. -Okay, so go. Yeah, so you go.
- 我真的做不到-没事的 走吧 -I can't do it. -Yeah, all right, go.
-不 别 别-抱歉 我真受不了乳胶手套 -No, don't. Don't. -I'm sorry. It's latex gloves.
分泌物 It's secretions.
-大便失禁- 对 走吧 你走吧 -It's anal leakage. -Yeah, go, go. Yeah, just go.
没有我你会过得更好的 我 很抱歉 You're better off without me. I-- I'm sorry, I--
-对 快走吧-接下来的日子会很难的 -Yeah, get the hell outta here. -IRMA: It's gonna be hard.
-肯定不好过-走吧 快走吧 拜托你赶紧走吧 -Not great, what's gonna happen. -LARRY: Go, go, go! Go! Please, go! Please, go!
走 走 走了 走了 Go! Go, Going. Going!
走 走 走了 走了 Go! Go. Going. Going!
走啦 Gone!
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你们好呀 Hello there.
欢迎来到购物中心里最有魔力的商店 Welcome to the most magical store at the mall.
再见 Goodbye.
没有人能命令你别再做梦 They can't order you to stop dreaming.
谢谢谢谢谢 Thank you.
你好呀公主 -嗨宝子 -Oh, hello, princess. -Hi, sweetheart.
你们有卖米老鼠烘焙手套的吗 Do you have the, um, Mickey Mouse oven gloves
当你把手塞进手套里 that you put your hands in the mitts,
你的手上有他的小手的那种 and then he's got his little hands on the--
-我不确定诶 -对 -I'm not sure. -IRMA: Yeah.
-我去帮你看看吧-好 多谢了 -Do you want me to check? -Yeah, that'd be good.
我刚从我男友家里出来 I just left mine at my boyfriend's house.
我们刚刚分手了 我不想再回去了 We just broke up, and I don't wanna go back there.
- 真遗憾 - 所以 -Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that. -So...
看起来我俩同病相怜呀 Well, it seems we're both the same.
我的幸福生活也刚刚结束 My happily ever after has ended, too.
好惨 对吧 IRMA: Ugh. Sucks, right?
好难过-对 对 -It's awful. -Yeah. Yeah.
我的前任生病了 Well, mine was, sick.
我的白马王子也病了 Well, my Prince Charming was sick.
-这世界真小-是哦 -What a small world-Yeah.
- 这世界确实很小 -It's a small world, you know. -Yes.
他有退化性疾病 I don't wanna go through the thing
我不想经历这个 with the degenerative disease he had.
我也不想照顾他 I didn't wanna stay by.
我还这么年轻 应付不来的 I'm too young to deal with all that.
太可怕了 格罗特病 It's a terrible thing, this Groat's disease.
等等 什么 你刚才说格罗特病吗 Waít, what? Did you say Groat's disease?
-对 你知道吗-我男朋友弗雷迪就得了这个病 -Yeah. You know this? -That's what my boyfriend, Freddy, that's what he has.
-格罗特病-什么 -Groat's disease. -IRMA: What?
弗雷迪-对啊 -Freddy? -Yeah.
哪个弗雷迪 Freddy who?
弗雷迪·芬克豪泽 Freddy Funkhouser.
拉里·大卫 Larry David.
不是吧 Are you fucking kidding me?
我们去吃个午饭吧-好啊 -Can we get some lunch, please? -Ooh, yes.
我想吃个三明治 -得嘞 -I want a sandwich or something. -Hell yeah.
-这事儿大了-他们骗我们 -IRMA: This is bad. -They lied to us.
-天呐 -詹娜 -Oh, my God. -Jenna?
嗨 戴娜 Oh, hey. Dana.
你们好呀 Hello.
你在迪士尼店上班 You work at the Disney store?
对 我在这里上班 Yeah, I work here.
那你为什么要给我剧本写批注啊 Then why did you give me notes on my script?
因为拉里·大卫让我这么做的 'Cause Larry David asked me to.
我用了你的批注 被编剧小组踢出来了 Iused them. I got kicked out of my writers group.
-混蛋-拉里大卫 -Bastards. -Larry David.
操蛋的拉里·大卫 Larry fucking David.
混账东西们 Those fucking pricks.
拉里·大卫不尊重女性 霍比·特纳
拉里·大卫是个满嘴谎言的混蛋 塞勒斯·约克
拉里·大卫破坏别人家庭 亚伯·泽克尔曼
拉里·大卫是个懦夫 还是个骗子 厄玛·科斯特罗斯基
拉里·大卫是非犹太人之耻 拉比·阿德尔曼