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所以我妈再婚了 然后我们就搬到这里来了 So Mum remarries, and we move here.
事情就这么简单 It's all very straightforward.
那你爸还在吗 Is your dad still around?
嗯 可以这么说 Yeah, you could definitely say that.
他是做什么的 What does he do?
呃 他 他现在不太适合干活 Uh, he's- - Well, he's not fit for work right now.
不是 我们能跳过不聊家庭历史这部分吗 太无聊了 Look, can we just skip the family history section? It's so boring.
2010年左右克莱尔配饰战役的描绘 "Depiction of the battle of Claire's Accessories circa 2010 CE".
噢是 Oh, yeah.
那年我妈试图阻止我穿鼻环呢 That's when my mum tried to stop me getting my nose pierced.
但我还是穿了 But I did it anyway.
结果严重感染了 It got massively infected.
她气疯了 She was so mad.
我这么干太值了 It was totally worth it.
怎么了 What?
这可能有点傻里傻气的 Maybe it's silly,
但因为我妻子是个老师 她觉得这会很好 but my wife's a teacher, and she thought it would be good for me
她让我在我客户有进步的时候 给他们发金色星星贴纸 to give these gold stars to my clients when they make progress.
但是 呃 感觉你没有进展 But, um, I don't think you have.
-至少和你妈之间没有 -不 我有啊 - At least, not with your mum. No, I have.
我完成了你让我做的作业 I did that homework you asked me to do.
我请她吃晚饭 修补一下我俩的关系 I invited her to dinner to fix our relationship.
那进行得怎么样呢 And how did that go?
挺好啊 Good.
你这自私的小贱人 You selfish wee bitch.
-毕竟是你把我养大的 -别提了 简直浪费了我人生 - Well, you raised me. - Don't remind me. Waste of time.
-我讨厌你 -我先讨厌你的 - I hate you. - I hated you first!
满满正能量呢 Really positive.
你说过我和我妈糟糕的关系 You said that my shitty relationship with my mum
可能阻碍了我的超能力 could be what's blocking my power.
你说的糟糕是临床术语吧 那是的 Shitty being the clinical term, yeah.
嗯 我请了她和伊恩 我继父 过来吃晚饭 Yes. So, I invited her and Ian- - That's my stepdad- - round for dinner.
一个愉快的 像成年人一样的 文明的晚上 Just a pleasant, grown- up, civil evening.
噢 我忘了说 她想来我家 Oh, and I forgot, she also wanted to come'round
也是想好好了解一下我男朋友 to properly get to know my boyfriend.
所以我让她走进我的生活 她总是在唠叨这事 So I'm letting her into my life, which she's always whingeing about.
-你男朋友叫啥来着 -吉 - What's your boyfriend's name again? - Jiz- -
米 吉米 Immy. Jimmy.
吉米 Jimmy.
吉米和你妈还处得来吗 ·Jimmy and your mum get along?
好吧 要是这还不算婊子我也没话讲了 Well, if it isn't the whore.
我在俱乐部跳舞 手里拿着酒 ♪I'm dancing in the club Got my bottle ♪
他们花了点时间熟悉熟悉 They took a little time to warm up.
你的恋爱关系怎么样 How is your relationship?
我注意到有点小问题 关于他 I noticed some trouble there around his- -
那个他向我隐瞒是他妻子的疯贱人 还有那可怕的小孩 嗯 The secret psycho bitch wife and creepy spawn. Yeah.
认真的 有点 有点不好受 No, it's- it's hard, you know.
但我觉得我们处理得相当优雅 But I think we're handling it with some grace.
这什么 你在写什么呢 What's that? What are you writing?
优点 很棒 嘴里能塞下15个葡萄 不是杀人犯 头发 没骨折过 对流浪汉很友好 软软的 很暖和 打鼾声很轻 给我买吃的 不踩蜗牛 会烧意面 缺点 不给慈善机构捐款 嘲笑长得奇怪的小孩 从垃圾桶里捡过甜甜圈吃 只会烧意面 不酷
呃 先别生气 Uh- - Don't be mad.
你居然列了一张我的他妈的优缺点 You made a list of my fucking pros and cons.
诺拉说过你是个坏人 我只是想证明你善大于恶 Nora said you're a bad person. I wanted to prove you're more good than bad.
"Doesn't give to charity. Laughed at a weird- looking child. 不给慈善机构捐款 嘲笑长得奇怪的小孩
从垃圾桶里捡过甜甜圈吃 这一点也不公平 Ate a doughnut out of the bin". That's not fair!
我当时以为只有我一个人在啊 I thought I was alone.
嗯 我们挺好的 Yeah, we're chill.
挺好的 Chill?
那这么说一切 都挺完美的咯 So everything's, like, totally perfect?
氛围也情绪稳定吗 The vibe's emotionally stable?
在我身上发生的一切都还好 Is it really that hard to believe
这有这么难相信吗 that things are actually going okay for me?
那没有 只是听上去那晚发生了很多事 No, it just seems like there was a lot riding on this night.
你的超能力 你的恋爱关系 你的家人 Your power, your relationship, your family.
嗯 我表现得不能再好了 Well, I was on my best behaviour.
来了 Here you go.
妈 你是倒腾了下你的发型吗 Mum, did you do something different with your hair?
-看起来很蓬松 -吹干了而已 - It looks so up. Blow dry.
你是经常把女人肚子搞大然后就不管她们了吗 Are you in the habit of knocking up women and then abandoning them?
你用保护措施了吗 Are you using protection?
-谢谢你的关系哈 -你还没准备好要孩子 珍妮弗 - I appreciate your concern. You're not ready for a child, Jennifer.
你自己都还是个小屁孩呢 You are a child yourself.
而且从基因上来讲 这都注定好了 And genetically, it is doomed.
虽然身体健全 但我们的精神疾病可丛生啊 We are physically robust but riddled with mental illness.
饥荒的时候是有点帮助 但世道已变 珍妮弗 It helped during the famine, but the tables have turned, Jennifer.
-世道已变啊 -没人说要怀小孩好吗 - The tables have turned. Nobody is getting pregnant.
伊恩 可以递下土豆吗 Ian, could you please pass the potatoes?
要土豆泥还是烤土豆 Mash or roasted?
伊恩刚看完《马利和我》 Ian had just watched Marley &Me,
我猜他有点没缓过来吧 so I guess he sort of had an emotional hangover.
可以说是同理心太重的坏处吧 Dangers of being an empath.
这 这真是一顿丰盛的款待 珍 This isThis is a really lovely spread, Jen.
一条狗的爱能如此纯粹啊 A dog's love is so pure.
抱歉打断你们一下 Um, I'm so sorry to interrupt.
珍 你觉得卡什哪张照片好一点 Jen, which photo of Kash do you think is better?
这张让人感觉他是社交达人 This one implies an exciting social calendar.
这张让人感觉 我很有文化 我喜欢旅行 This one says, "I'm cultured, I travel,
要不我们一起去布拉格看看桥吧 maybe we'll go to Prague and look at bridges".
你也清楚得找一张能真实代表卡什的照片吧 You know it's meant to be an accurate representation of Kash?
抱歉 这是在搞些什么 I- I'm sorry. What's all this?
抱歉 这是在搞些什么 I'm sorry. What's all this?
噢 天啊 我还没说呢 Oh, God. Right.
好 所以是这样 Okay, so- -
简单来说 就是嘉莉和卡什分手了 对吧 Basically, Carrie and Kash split up, right?
RA And it's still pretty awkward, but they don't want it to be awkward. 他俩之间还是挺尴尬的 但他们不想再尴尬下去了
所以他们决定说 能做的最不让人尴尬的事 So, they decide that the least awkward thing to do
就是帮对方找人约会 这样两人都可以向前看了 is to set each other up with other people so that they can both move on.
说得挺有道理的 That makes sense.
是啊 我 我跟她也这么说的 Yeah, that- that's what I said.
你俩脑子被门夹了吗 That's so fucking stupid.
不不不 其实是很明智的啊 No, no, no, no. It's really smart.
还有谁能比你前任更会找下一任 这套逻辑不能再完美了 Who better to find your new partner than your old one? It's perfect logic.
两人摩擦出火花可不是看逻辑的啊 我是说 Human attraction is not based on logic. I mean...
珍 你有杀过人吗 Jen, have you ever killed anyone?
-没有 -呼 No. Whew.
别表现的太明显了 可以吗 Uh, don't be too obvious, okay?
我想让克拉克知道我喜欢他 I want Clark to know that I like him.
但我不想让他知道 我想让他知道我喜欢他这件事 But I don't want him to know that I want him to know that I like him.
-除非他也喜欢我 -不 嘉莉 放轻松 ·Unless he likes me. - No, Carrie, relax.
我可是有经验的僚机 You're looking at an experienced wingman.
嗯 克拉克只会觉得这是个天真无害的兄弟之夜 Yeah, Clark thinks he's just gonna have an innocent little bros night.
然后哪的一下 And then bam!
他就爱上你了 He falls in love.
烤鸡要烤多久啊 我应该把温度调高点儿吗 How long does a chicken take? Should I turn it up?
噢不 不 别又来啊 Oh, no. No, not again.
噢不 等等 Oh, no! Wait!
真是愚蠢的时间 Stupid time.
我一直被拉回来拉回去的 我都晕时间了 I keep getting pulled forward and back. It's making me seasick.
-还是没法控制吗 -还是不行 我被时间欺负了 You still can't control it? - No. I'm time's bitch.
我居然被他妈的小手表欺负了 I'm getting bullied by a fucking watch.
这也要烤太久了 我要速速解决了 This is taking ages. Just gonna whack it up.
噢不 别这么干 Oh, no. Don't do that.
信我的 Trust me. -
-拜 -好 Bye. - Okay.
他懂个屁 What does he know?
就是说 卡什要去见见他们的这个同事 试探他喜不喜欢嘉莉 So, Kash is seeing if this guy from their work likes Carrie,
嘉莉帮卡什搞了个约会软件 给他找匹配对象 and Carrie is setting Kash up on a dating app and finding him matches.
Barry Yeah, that's great. But we're here to talk about you, right. So- - 嗯 真不错 但我们是来聊你的事情的对吧 所以
确实 我理解 但信我的 这件事 老天啊 Yeah. Oh, no, I get that, but trust me, this is like...Oh, my God.
太有料了 It is pretty juicy.
然后卡什就去克拉克家了 So, then Kash goes to Clark's.
芜湖 兄弟之夜 - Woo- hoo! Bros night. -
兄弟之夜 Bros night. -
别 别又来啊 No, not again.
宝贝 我把你比作灰色上的玫瑰的吻 ♪Baby, I compare you to a kiss From a rose on the grey ♪
噢 我得到你越多 ♪Ooh, the more I get of you ♪
不会吧 What?
就变得越陌生 ♪Stranger it feels ♪
兄弟之夜 Bros night.
快进来吧 Come in.
很有料对吧 Right?
你要是继续逃避我的问题 If you're gonna keep evading my questions,
我就要觉得你没跟我坦诚相待了 I'm gonna start thinking you're not being fully honest with me.
我们此刻就在我的大脑里啊 We're in my mind.
要是我前面有说谎 那肯定有东西会暴露的啊 Think if I was lying, wouldn't something give it away?
珍妮弗·雷根编撰的谎言 "The compiled lies of Jennifer Regan.
由德里克·雅各比朗读 Read by Derek Jacobi".
这又不能证明什么 That doesn't prove anything.
2018年十二月八号 凌晨1点22分 December 8th, 2018. 1: 22 a. m.
要我说 那是正常人尺寸 I would say that it's about average size.
凌晨1点23分 不 我认真的 兄弟 我还见过尺寸更小的呢 1: 23 a. m. No, like, seriously, dude, I've seen smaller.
凌晨1点24分 说实话这比你想的还常见 1: 24 a. m. It's, like, more common than you think.
有部纪录片里讲过 I saw it in a documentary.
凌晨1点24分 是啊 他们真的有讲这个的纪录片 1: 24 a. m. Yes, they make documentaries about that.
假的 They don't.
凌晨1点25分 有很多女人都喜欢这样的 1: 25 a. m. A lot of women prefer them that way.
凌晨1点26分 我保证我不会跟我朋友说你老二尺寸这么小的 1: 26 a. m. I promise I won't tell all my friends about your micro- penis.
第108章 假装高潮 Chapter 108, faked orgasms.
好吧 行了行了 Right. Okay, okay.
听着 我可能确实有撒那么一丁点小谎吧 Look, I might've massaged the truth a tiny little bit.
我承认那一晚开头不怎么顺利 I will admit the beginning of the evening was a little rough.
那么 伊恩 So, Ian.
当个废物是什么感觉 How does it feel to be a piece of shit?
但可以怪一点在我头上吧 That might've been partly my fault though.
我给他了点怎么赢得我妈好感的小建议 I'd given him some tips on how to win over my mum.
比如说 侮辱一下英国人 Like, insult the English.
她是个简单的女人 她对老式的骑士精神情有独钟 She's a simple woman. She's a sucker for old- fashioned chivalry.
还有 帮她开门 Now, hold the door open for her.
没说厕所门啊 Not the bathroom door!
我可能该说具体点的 And I could've been more specific.
不管你想说什么 附和她就好了 她永远是对的 Whatever you do, agree with her. She's always right.
跟我换下位置 我坐这儿能在微波炉上看到自己影子 Now swap seats with me. I can see my reflection in the microwave.
这件上衣显的我好胖 This top makes me look fat.
你说的太对了 玛丽 超级胖 Couldn't agree more, Mary. Huge.
渴求别人的认可 这可对你没什么帮助哦 It can be a pointless task, chasing after the approval of someone else.
噢不不 奇怪的部分来了 Well, no, see, here's the weird thing.
我上完厕所回来后 When I came back from the bathroom...
你怎么在那个园艺中心搞到比原价还便宜三镑的啊 How did you get it three pounds cheaper at the other garden centre?
-所以要货比三家嘛 -确实 And that is why you always shop around. - So true.
-不过我不用说你也知道 对吧 -是啊是啊 But I don't need to tell you that, do I? - No, no.
确实 No.
你就去上了厕所 怎么做到大变样了的 How did it go from that to that while you were in the bathroom?
吉 米后来跟我说了 Ji- - Immy filled me in later on.
不用说 我妈又那个老样子了 Apparently, Mum was just being herself.
我对你这个人没什么意见 只是珍本来就不怎么过得好日子 I have nothing against you personally, but Jen already isn't very good at life.
不能再让其他人拖她后腿了 And she doesn't need anything else to hold her back.
这 呃 That's, um- -
祝福她 但她还没准备好迎接这一切呢 God bless her, but she isn't ready for any of this.
我是说 看啊 她连鸡都烤不好 I mean, look. She can't even cook a chicken.
嘿 Hey!
闭 闭嘴 Oo Shu- - Shut up! 0o0
-这么说他替你还嘴了咯 -是啊 - So he stood up for you? - Yeah.
他说他把我的优点都跟我妈讲了 He said he told my mum everything that was great about me.
她会烧饭吗 不会 OO( Can she cook? No.
她这个人酷吗 不酷 Is she cool? No.
她有钱吗 没钱 Does she have money? No.
她个子高吗 不高 00O Is she tall? No.
她有超能力吗 没有 Does she have a power? No.
她聪明吗 Is she smart?
也没那么聪明 Not so much.
还挺浪漫的 It's pretty romantic.
当 当然了 她也不会有多大出息 但我不在乎 And- And sure, she's never gonna amount to anything, but I don't care.
她很棒啊 我会证明这一点的 She's great, and I'm gonna prove it.
你总是在打压她 You're always slagging her off.
或许你应该试试多鼓励她 And maybe you should try slagging her on.
那 他说了以后 一切都挺顺利了 So, after that, things are going well?
是啊 一家人其乐融融的 Yeah. Wholesome family fun.
有点难想象出来 Finding that hard to picture.
跟我详细说说吧 Illuminate me.
行啊 但我得先跟你说完嘉莉和卡什的事 Sure, but first I need to catch you up on Carrie and Kash.
嘉莉很纠结 So Carrie was struggling.
头发太多了 头发太少了 Too much hair. Too little hair.
可以说是爱马的女孩儿 Horse- girl adjacent.
语法太差了 Poor grammar.
哥特风 伦敦大学金匠学院 Goth. Goldsmiths?
感觉不行 I don't think.
嘉莉 你清楚你得选其中几个的吧 Carrie, you realise you have to say yes to some of them?
标准高点又没有错 I won't apologise for having high standards.
-呃 那这位怎么不行了 -大拇指 - Well, what's wrong with this one? - Thumb.
-哈 -大拇指有点奇怪 Huh? - Weird thumb.
听着 你不想让卡什和其他人约会 Look, do you think maybe there's another reason
是不是另有原因 you don't wanna set anyone else up with Kash?
可能你还没准备好看着他和别人约会 Like maybe you're not ready to see him with someone else?
天啊 这看上去确实挺奇怪的 这什么东西 Oh, my God. That is weird. What is that?
不是 这也是为什么我们互相给对方找人约会 No. that's why we're finding dates for each other.
这样我们分手后时间线就一模一样了 So we're on the exact same post- break- up timeline,
这样能标准化对我俩的情绪影响 therefore standardising the emotional fallout.
正常人都不会这样干的 Humans aren't like that.
我们都是通了电 受下半身操控的肉团子而已 We're electrified meat sacks that do whatever our genitals tell us.
我不想信这个 I refuse to believe that.
我和卡什是有计划的 我们不会让这计划偏离的 Kash and I have a plan, and we're not gonna let anything derail it.
我知道一个人生活太奢侈了 I know it's really bougie to live alone,
但我又没做错什么 我一人干六份活呢 but in my defence, I do work six jobs.
我在拉面道要忙到11点才能回家 I shouldn't be home from my shift at Wagamama's till 11: 00,
-所以这地方现在只有我们俩 -嘉莉 ·so we've got the place to ourselves. Carriel
你喜欢她吗 Do you like her?
抱歉 你刚刚真的物理意义上的把我吓了一跳 Sorry, you actually physically scared me there.
嘉莉 那个同事嘉莉 Carrie? Carrie from work?
对 她挺好看的 Yeah. She's fit.
她挺好看的 对吧 你觉得她好看不 我反正这么觉得 She's fit, right? You think she's fit? I do.
我感觉她不是我的菜 她不是男的然后一些别的原因 I don't think she's exactly my type. Not being a man and everything.
-预言是真的了 -什么 Prophecy was true. - What?
什么 What?
我们看点别的吧 这节目里太多男人了 Let's watch something else. This has too many men in it.
-你说足球 -是 The football- Yeah.
女人都在哪个频道呢 Where's the women at?
性感的女人 ...sexy women?
欲望都市
欲望都市 看这个吧 - Sex and the City. Let's watch that.
欲望都市 看这个吧 Sex and the City. Let's watch that.
等下 不 天啊 我 Oh, wait, no. God. Um. I- -
-新闻 没错 看新闻吧 -救援人员已经搜查了 The news. Yeah. The news. - Rescuers have scoured...
-我是说 这都是事实嘛 -坠机现场 ·I mean, it's just facts. ...the crash site...
但今天早上的新闻发布会上 but in a press conference this morning
宣布说没有幸存者 it was announced there had been no survivors.
另外 儿童癌症发病率正在上升 In other news, cancers in children are on the rise.
就再问一下 这部分真的对故事来说有必要吗 Once again, is this completely necessary for the story?
信我的 听下去 Trust the journey.
所以说 卡什慌了 So, Kash is freaking out
因为他干了 可以说是和嘉莉让他做的完全相反的事 cause he's done, like, the opposite of what Carrie asked him to do.
但他清楚的让他们亲上的那个场景具体是什么样的 对吧 But he knows the exact scenario that leads up to their kiss, right?
所以他觉得只要没有那个场景了 他们就不会亲上的 So he thinks all he has to do is avoid that exact scenario, and they won't kiss.
没有红酒 没有席尔的歌 没有沙发 就不会亲上了 No red wine, no Seal, no sofa, no problem.
你在干嘛呢 What're you doing?
噢我都忘了我有这了 里奥哈葡萄酒 Ooh, I forgot I had that. Rioja.
我给你倒一杯去 I'll pour you a glass.
太棒了 Brilliant.
你还坐不坐了 Are you sitting down?
不不 我更喜欢站着 No, no. I like to stay on my feet.
得保持活跃点 你懂的 灵活 Stay active. You know, supple.
你确定嘉莉不是你的菜吗 Now, are you sure Carrie's not for you?
其实从特定角度来看 她也有点宽肩的 You know, from certain angles, she has kind of broad shoulders.
不了 我还是同性恋哈 Nope. Still pretty gay.
我音响去哪儿了 Where's my speaker?
你音响 Your speaker?
天啊 我不知道啊 Gosh, I have no idea.
事实上 没关系的 Well, actually, it's fine.
我正好一直想试试我的新唱片机呢 I've been meaning to try out my new record player.
不过我现在只有一张唱片 I only have one album so far though.
事实上 我可能得走了 Actually, I might call it a night.
我们的兄弟之夜你这么快却要走了 You're calling time on bros night already?
我挺累的 然后 I'm really tired, and- -
因为我找终于找到了一顶中世纪头盔复制品 Because I tracked down a replica medieval helmet.
想着我们戴上它 然后用棍子互相敲看看我们能感觉到痛不 And I thought we could put it on and hit each other to see if we feel it.
我有提过我一直想这么干诶 I mentioned I always wanted to do that.
我记着呢 I remembered.
-再来 再来一次 -好 ·Again, again. Do it again. - Okay.
好 再来一次 这次管我叫兰斯洛特 Okay, do it again. This time call me Lancelot.
我这底下一点也感觉不到痛 - I can't feel a thing under here. -
继续 我一点也感觉 Keep going. I can't feel any- - ∴
感觉活力满满 I feel so alive.
来吧 Come on! -
但嘉莉气死了 But Carrie's getting pissed
因为卡什不回她消息 because Kash isn't replying to her.
他一条也不回我 He's not replying to any of my messages.
他都没读我消息 He hasn't even seen them.
我只是想知道克拉克到底喜不喜欢我 I just wanna know. Does Clark like me or not?
你想小小偷窥下不 Do you want to do a little spying?
我可以黑进他手机 把摄像头开了 I could hack into his phone and turn on the camera.
妈 Mum.
我以为你希望我擅长搞技术的啊 I thought you wanted me to be good at technology.
是啊 但没让你违反《日内瓦公约》 Yeah, not to violate the Geneva Convention.
你经常这么干吗 Do you do this a lot?
没有好吗 No.
不对普通人这么干 Not people.
仅限明星 Just celebrities.
你永远也想不到他们觉得没人看的时候在干嘛 You never guess what they be up to when they think no one's watching.
玛丽 我真觉得这道德上说不过去吧 Mary, I do think that is morally wrong.
不幸的说 Unfortunately.
可惜 我已经这么干了 Well, I've already done it.
这是从我用手机蓝波接到聪明电视上的 Here is the now stream I patched in from the blue wave signal
网络摄像头传来的实时视频 from the phone to the web camera in the clever TV.
你这词没一个说对了啊 You got all of those words wrong.
你接下来打算怎么干跟我没关系哦 What you do with this is none of my business.
珍 你在这里聊你和你超能力的事 你要付我多少钱来着 Jen, so how much are you paying me again to talk about you and your power?
-一大笔 -一大笔 A fuck ton. A fuck ton.
那我们还是回到这个话题 好吗 So, let's focus on that, shall we?
你和你妈关系在变好 You and your mum are bonding- -
-你说过这可以给我超能力的呀 -可能会帮你得到超能力 - Which you said would give me a power. - Might help give you.
再跟我详细说说你们这家怎么其乐融融的吧 Tell me more about wholesome family fun time.
陆地 但是隆起来的 Land, but up.
山脉 Mountains.
-脚呆的房子 -鞋子 Foot house. Shoe.
狗 Dog.
答对了 Correct.
珍和吉兹 八分 Jen and Jizz, eight.
玛丽和伊恩 零分 Mary and Ian, zero.
原来是这样 I see.
接下来几轮 要不我们俩一组吧 Next few rounds, maybe we should be a team.
你以前从没叫我和你一起玩啊 You never asked me to play with you before.
-你以前没准备好 -我现在准备好了 You weren't ready. - I'm ready.
我知道 I know.
我们要狠狠赢他们 We're going to dominate them.
-嗯 这 -好 Yeah, that's- Yeah, okay.
抱太久了 Too much.
你明白超能力不是这么简单交换来的 对吧 You understand that it's not so transactional, right?
嗯 当然了 Yes, of course.
我不是因为想要超能力才对我妈这么好 I'm not just being nice to my mum so I can get a power.
那样我这人也太烂了 That'd be horrible.
我对我妈都这么好了 我怎么还没有超能力 I'm being nice to my mum. Why don't I have a power?
所以 没有显现一种超能力的时候 你觉得也没事吗 So, when a power doesn't materialise, you're fine with it?
你不会去试试其他方法吗 You don't try another tack?
不啊 我很耐心的 No. I'm very patient.
你有对我隐瞒任何关于你家人的事吗 And you're not hiding anything from me about your family?
不 你可以都读一下的 No. You can read all about it.
那些是历史书 Those are history books.
-你的历史书 -那又怎样 ·Your history books. - So?
历史是胜利者书写的 History is written by the victors.
里面不会有任何有损你形象的东西 There's not gonna be anything in there that doesn't make you look good.
也许我就是太棒了 Maybe I'm just great.
好吧 不是 Okay, no.
我确实有个备用计划 I- I- I did have a backup plan.
乔治说我的家人应该更亲密 对吧 George said that my family should be closer, right?
我邀请她来了这里 我把她介绍给吉兹了 I've invited her in. I've introduced her to Jizz.
我对她很好 我还有什么该做的 I'm being nice to her. What else is there?
跟家长们见面这件事 还只是个开始 Well, the whole meet- the- parents thing, it's only really the beginning.
-你刚刚说什么 -见家长们 - What did you just say? - The meet the parents- -
见家长们啊 Parents thing.
家长 复数 Parent- suh.
天啊 我太笨了 Oh, my God. I am so stupid.
我的超能力无法显现是因为我的家庭不完整 My power isn't coming through because my family isn't whole.
不行 No.
你邀请了你爸 So, you invited your dad?
是啊 很合理 不是吗 Yeah. Makes sense, doesn't it?
如果你觉得你的家庭破裂了 那就合理 It does if you feel your family is fractured.
你父母离婚不愉快吗 Um, did your parents have a bad divorce?
严格来说 他们并没有离婚 Uh, th- they're not strictly divorced.
只是疏远了 More estranged.
那行吧 Yeah, anyway.
爸爸一直是妈妈的痛处 Dad has always been a bit of a sore spot with Mum.
他来的时候情况怎么样 So, how did it go when he arrived?
嗯 所以 Right. So...
我们应该买整套盔甲的 We should get the whole suit.
-珍 -对不起 我很抱歉 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
但是一定和整体故事有关系的 我保证 But it ties everything together. I promise.
我们应该买整套盔甲的 We should get the whole suit.
这样会有很多选择 It opens up so many options.
你和我想的一样吗 Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
烟花 Fireworks.
你想喝杯茶吗 我都渴死了 Do you want a cup of tea? I'm parched.
哦 好的 Oh, yeah.
-你要加牛奶吗 -不用 茶就好 Do you take milk? Uh, no. Just tea.
也许我应该加点牛奶 Maybe I should try some milk.
我喜欢你扭臀的样子 ♪I like how you swing your hips ♪
RPHO Maybe I like milk, but I wasn't socialised to think it was an option. 也许我喜欢牛奶 但我不认为应该加到茶里
我是说 我可以试着加一点 I mean, I could just try a dash.
不喝纯茶 也不喝纯奶 对吧 It's not all black or all milk. Right?
纯茶和纯奶之间还有很多种配比 Tea exists on a spectrum.
鸡块 我们应该蘸酱 ♪Chicken nuggets, we should dip ♪
我把牛奶拿出来 你自己倒吧 Um, I'll just leave the milk out, and you can do it yourself.
音乐 Music?
好 Okay.
一个男人能对你说的话只有那么多 ♪There's so much a man can tell you So much he can say ♪
你依然 ♪ You remain...♪
哦 我忘了放糖了 Oh! I forgot to put the sugar in there.
天哪 Oh, gosh.
我真的 该死 I'm so- - Rats.
哦 天哪 Oh, gosh.
到处都是 天呐 弄到你身上了吗 It's gone everywhere. Oh, God, did it get on you?
我真的很抱歉 I'm so, so sorry.
好吧 我可不想晚餐就这样结束束 Okay, so that's not how I wanted the dinner to end.
别把它加到你的缺点列表里 Don't add it to your cons list!
你刚把你妈妈弄哭了 Well, you did just make your mum cry.
但那不是我的本意 But that wasn't my intention.
就像她很完美似的 她是个偷窥狂 Like she is perfect. The fucking webcam peeper.
浅浅看一眼又不会有什么坏处 One little check- in can't hurt.
我的瞳孔放大 你发出的光芒再也看不见了 ♪My eyes become large and the light That you shine can't be seen ♪
宝贝 我把你比作灰上玫瑰的吻 ♪Baby, I compare you to a kiss From a rose on the grey ♪
我从你身上得到的越多感觉就越陌生 ♪Ooh, the more I get of you The stranger it feels, yeah ♪
没有人掉眼泪好吧 她的眼睛充其量是有点湿润 And there wasn't any tear- fall. Her eyes were moderately damp at best.
她看到了全程 And she saw the whole thing.
我很抱歉 我不明白 这怎么就算和整体故事有关系了 I'm sorry. I don't understand. How does this tie everything together?
哦 我 我想没有关系吧 Oh, I- I guess it doesn't.
为什么我觉得你不想让我知道晚餐是怎么结束的 Why do I get the feeling you don't want me to know how this dinner ends?
好吧 Fine.
我们总是以“猜名人”结束晚餐 We always finish the night with Guess the Celebrity'.
-我是政治家吗 -不是 - Am I a politician? - No.
我得过奥斯卡奖吗 Have I won an Oscar?
也许 Maybe. -
所以我是女人 我是白人吗 So I'm a woman? Am I white?
-是的 -泰勒·斯威夫特 Yes. - Taylor Swift.
早知道就选个难点的了 Should've made it harder.
哇 现在 还有一个人要玩 Whoa, now, there's still someone left to play.
你好 碧妮 Hello, Beanie.
嘉莉给我写的便签 所以我不知道 Carrie did me one, so I've no idea.
这不算作弊 - It's not cheating. -
你确定她没事吗 我从没见过她这么安静 Are you sure she's okay? I've never seen her so quiet.
没关系 是的 今天是家庭游戏之夜 It's fine. Yeah. I- It's family games night.
我们都是一家人 We're all family.
哦 这个不错 Aw. This is a good one.
现在 继续 猜 Now, go on. Guess.
这有点戳大家痛处 但我还活着吗 It's a bit on the nose, but am I alive?
嘿 我们还没玩完呢 Hey, we're not finished playing.
别跟我说话 Don't even speak to me.
-闭嘴 -妈妈 ·Just don't. - Mum.
我告诉过你很多次了 我不想和他说话 I told you time and again, I do not want to talk to him.
但是你必须走出你的舒适区 成长一点 But you have to step out of your comfort zone to grow and- -
别跟我说什么心理诊所的狗屁鸡汤 Don't give me that clinic woo- woo, self- help smoothie bullshit!
我不想成长 我受够了 I don't want to grow. I'm done.
他死了 He died.
我已经接受了 我放下了 I've dealt with it. I moved on.
有人改了我的按扣 Uh, someone's moved the buttons on this.
那我想要个家算我的错呗 Oh, fuck me for wanting a family again then.
我只是想做点好事 I was just trying to do something nice.
你有家 You have a family.
你知道这让伊恩有多伤心吗 Do you know how hurtful that is to Ian?
确实感觉就像一把滚烫的刀穿过我的心 It does feel like a searing hot knife through my heart.
但我们也得考虑她的感受 But we have to consider her feelings too.
嗯 好的 谢谢你 伊恩 对 告诉她 Yes. Yeah, thank you, Ian. Yeah, tell her.
她充满了绝对的渴望 并且不计代价 She's full of absolute longing and desperation.
想要我的家人 - - For my family.
想要超能力 For a power. Huh?
你这个自私的小贱人 You selfish wee bitch.
-毕竟是你把我养大的 -别提了 简直浪费了我人生 - Well, you raised me. - Don't remind me. Waste of time.
-我讨厌你 -我先讨厌你的 - I hate you. - I hated you first!
我很高兴你喜欢和他说话 And I'm glad you like talking to him,
因为他是你唯一会跟你说话的家长 because he's the only parent you'll be talking to.
很好 反正他才是我想要的那个 Good. He's the one I wanted.
-伊恩 -是的 对不起 Ian! - Yes. Sorry.
那是在北部举行的婚礼 ♪`It was a wedding upstate ♪
重新点燃了我的伤痛 ♪ That rekindled an ache ♪
我以为它会褪去 男孩 ♪I thought it would fade, boy ♪
那是什么 你在写什么 What's that? What are you writing?
呃 别生气 Uh, don't be mad.
-哇 -我知道 Wow. I know.
我有点糊涂 你妈妈的反应似乎太夸张了 I'm a little confused. Your mum's reaction seems way over the top.
我知道 I know. Geez.
她从不从我的角度看问题 She can never see things from my perspective.
没有人会无缘无故这样 People don't just act like that.
你爸爸身上有什么可以解释你妈妈的行为吗 Is there anything about your dad that might explain your mum's actions?
我不 I don't- -
不 我想不起来 No, I can't think of anything.
珍 Jen.
珍妮弗 Jennifer.
看着我 Look at me.
我以为我们已经过了这道坎了 I thought we'd gone over this.
-好吧 珍 -他死了 Okay, Jen. He's dead.
我爸爸死了 My dad's dead.
我通过嘉莉跟他说话 I speak to him through Carrie.
妈妈从来没有 Mum never has.
如果早点知道会很有帮助的 This would've been helpful to know earlier.
嗯 我知道 Yeah, I know.
但是 你知道 这 这有点 But. ...you know, it's- - it's a bit- -
你要说这事有点操蛋 是吧 Well, you're gonna say it's a bit fucked up, aren't you?
不 不 No. No.
这真是一场灾难 It was a disaster.
我是个烂女友 烂女儿 I was a shit girlfriend and a shit daughter.
我感觉糟透了 And I feel like shit.
昨天已经过去了 ♪Yesterday's gone now ♪
我想搬出去 ♪I want to move out ♪
去那个我们可以去任何地方的世界里 ♪Out in the world where We'll go anywhere ♪
好姑娘 Good girl.
如果你够勇敢 那就来吧 ♪If you're brave, come and get some ♪
那就来吧 那就来吧 ♪ Come and get some Come and come and get some ♪
如果你够勇敢 那就来吧 ♪`If you're brave, come and- - Come and get some ♪
那就来吧 那就来吧 ♪ Come and get some Come and come and get some ♪
我看见你在看我 ♪ Looking at me Caught you looking at me ♪
买不起你看的东西 不可能 ♪ Can't afford what you see, no way ♪ onpwAgf
当我坐在我的房间里 感觉有点沮丧 ♪As I'm sitting in my room Feeling kinda depressed ♪
一切都是如此的混乱 我不知所措 是的 ♪Everything is such a mess Am I overwhelmed, yes ♪
嘘 这样可不行 Shh. It's problematic.
-什么声儿 -没什么 - What was that? - Uh- - Nothing.
我很沮丧 又平平无奇 ♪I'm a mess Down and unimpressed♪
从来没有快乐过 ♪Never happy at my best ♪
-不是你的错 还是我的错 -我一团糟 - ♪It's not you, it's me again♪- ♪I'm a mess ♪
我很痴迷 ♪ I'm obsessed ♪
抑郁是我的中间名 ♪ Depression is my middle name ♪
处方都不一样 ♪ Prescription is not the same ♪
抑郁是我的中间名 ♪ Depression is my middle name ♪
不 我不知道我为什么笑 我只是一个 ♪No, I don't know why I'm laughing I'm just a sad bitch ♪
不 我不知道我为什么笑 我只是一个 ♪No, I don't know why I'm laughing I'm just a sad bitch♪
悲伤贱货 ♪ Sad bitch ♪
悲伤贱货 坏人 不要太过依恋 ♪Sad bitch, bad bitch Don't get too attached bitch♪
疯狂 绝望 没有人可以惹你 ♪Blastin', desperate Not someone to mess with ♪
丢掉那些想法 就向药物屈服吧 ♪ Lost those minds Just give in to the meds♪
不 我不知道我为什么笑 我只是一个悲伤贱货 ♪No, I don't know why I'm laughing I'm just a sad bitch♪