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还有五分钟我们就可以下班了 Our shift ends in five minutes.
我想晚餐点泰式炒粉 I think I'm gonna order Pad Thai for dinner.
千万别 你会让我们倒霉的 Don't do it, you'll jinx us.
每次你一点餐我们就会接到新任务 You order food, we'll get another call.
你年轻气盛 以为自己能打败命运吗 You're young and proud and think that you can thwart fate, right?
其实你不能 But you can't.
不 我太饿了 Nah, I'm too hungry.
要不要加购春卷 Complete my order with spring rolls?
傻瓜才不点呢 I'd be a fool not to.
就不能等等吗 我们离局里也就一英里远了 Just wait. We're a mile away from the precinct.
下单成功 Send.
可世界并没有终结 And the world didn't end.
12号车请回复 Truck 12 please respond.
有居民报告说有条无主的狗在叫 A neighbor reported an unattended barking dog.
树林区12号 12 Grove Place.
好吧 真的很抱歉 Ok, I'm really sorry- -
就让我们好好享受这美好又惨烈的 Ah- ah- ah- ah let's just enjoy this beautiful, horrible moment
打脸时刻吧 of me being right.
嘿 伙计们 请进 Hey, guys. Come on in.
这会儿开儿童派对挺晚了吧 It's a little late for a children's party.
这不是儿童派对 而是别的 Oh, it is not that. This is something else.
这是毛茸玩具派对 It's a furry party.
嘿 有什么能帮你们的 Hey, can I help you?
老天 千万别有 Oh goodness, I certainly hope not.
你是这里管事的小马吗 Are you the pony in charge?
是的 Yeah.
有人投诉这里有狗出了问题 We got a dog complaint.
嘿 伙计 我才刚到 Hey man, I just got here.
呃 不是穿皮夹克的这位 Uh, the one not in leather.
哦 那就是德克斯特 Yeah, that's Dexter.
我不得不把他赶出去 他想跟每个人都乱搞 I had to put him outside, he was humping everyone.
是啊 我知道这会产生一种诡异的性能量 Yeah, I can see how that could create a weird sexual energy.
没错 Yeah.
先生 别逼我把你关进笼子里 Sir, please don't make me put you in a crate.
嘿 伙计们 他要把我放进笼子里喽 Hey guys, he's gonna put me in a crate!
笼子 笼子 笼子 Cratel Cratel Cratel
我们越来越跑偏了 This is getting away from us.
好吧 接下来这样 Alright, here's what we're gonna do.
花栗鼠 Chipmunk.
对不起 窗边的那只松鼠 Sorry, squirrel by the window.
你能去别的房间吗 Can you move to another room?
成功了 我们解决了你的问题 We did it. We solved this problem.
地球和平全靠我们 This is why we get up in the morning.
你在值班 我们走吧 You're on duty. Let's go.
神秘仰慕者又给你送礼物啦 Another gift from your secret admirer?
是啊 这个月第三次了 Yeah, it's my third one this month.
好像越来越认真了喔 这是怎么回事 It's getting serious. What is all that?
附带有一张卡 然后有一堆蜂糖饼 There's a card and then there's a bunch of Hokey Pokey
还有巧克力和凤犁酥 and Jaffas and Pineapple Zobs.
哦 都是什么玩意儿 Oh! And what is all that?
都是糖果 新西兰的糖果 Candy...from New Zealand. Oh.
这篮子真漂亮 It's a really lovely basket.
我知道 对吧 真让人兴奋 I know, right? It's kind of exciting.
我的意思是 送礼物是很慷慨和具体的行为 I mean, the gifts are generous and specific
并不能算作是跟踪狂 and it hasn't tipped over into stalker territory...
变态一般很难把握这种平衡 That's a tough balance for a creeper.
除非是恶作剧 Unless it's a prank.
不 如果这是恶作剧 那糖果里应该全是氯胺酮 No, if it was a prank that candy would be full of ketamine
导致你的毒品检测会呈阳性 and you'd fail a city drug test.
就好像我的车没被陌生人尿过似的 Like I don't have fresh stranger urine in my car.
达奇警官要来了 Officer Dudge approaching.
2-3分局的大哥哥来问候大家了 Greetings from your big brothers at Precinct 2- 3.
邓普顿 你怎么总来这儿 Templeton, how is it that you're always here?
一直都是 All the time.
你知道自己的管制局在哪吗 Do you know where your precinct is?
你没告诉他们吗 You didn't tell them?
那我就长痛不如短痛了 I'm just gonna rip the Band- Aid off.
邓普顿今天需要有人跟他去巡逻 Templeton needs someone to ride with him today.
不 No!
不 Oh no.
不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no.
嘿 有点同情心好吗 Hey, a little compassion.
我局里有一半人食物中毒了 Half my precinct is off with food poisoning, ok?
是啊 我们昨晚为道格办了个小派对 Yes, we had a little party for Doug last night.
现场有个生鲜小吃吧 结果在室温里都坏了 We had a raw bar, and it went room temp on us.
艾米丽 他们怎么有预算弄个生鲜吧 Emily, how do they have a budget for a raw bar?
我不知道 那谁去呢 I don't know that. Um, so who's gonna do it?
谁去和邓普顿一起巡逻 Who's gonna ride with Templeton?
我可以让他额外放一天假 I can offer an extra vacation day.
两天怎么样 两天 有人去吗 How about two? Two days. Any takers?
那我继续加到 I'l keep going- -
等下 我在卡车里等 Stop...I will be in the truck.
好吧 Ok.
好吧 总得有人为局里挡子弹 Ok, somebody has to take a bullet for this precinct
所以你们自己决定 so you need to figure it out.
用剪刀石头布怎么样 How about a rock, paper, scissors tournament
输家去 but loser advances?
我喜欢 I like that.
我只会出剪刀 你们信吗 I'm only throwing scissors. Or am I?
-你每次都出剪刀 -是的 我们都知道 伙计 - You throw scissors every time. - Yeah, we know that, dude.
每次都是 Every time.
没错 但下次我还会再出吗 Yeah, but will I again?
-我们猜你会的 -你肯定会的 - We're saying you will. - You will.
好吧 没那么复杂 Ok, I'm gonna make this simple.
我需要维多利亚和我一起处理文书工作 I need Victoria with me here to do paperwork
也就是说 帕特尔 你要和坦普尔顿一起去巡逻 so that means, Patel, you are gonna ride with Templeton.
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
等等 什么 不 你太专制了 Wait, what? No! That is so autocratic.
我抗议 我抗议 I appeal! I appeal!
我抗议那些牡蛎 我抗议邓普顿 抗议这些 I appeal oysters, I appeal Templeton, all of this!
我曾经和邓普顿待过一天 I did a day with Templeton once.
就一句话 瑞典死亡重金属乐 Three words: Swedish death metal.
唯一比他的性格更糟糕的 The only thing worse than his personality
是他的音乐品味 is his taste in music.
12号车请回复 Truck 12 please respond.
在缉毒行动时发现一只大乌龟 Report of a large tortoise at a narcotics seizure.
西雅图警局请求协助 Seattle PD requesting assistance.
沃伯顿大道1214号 1214 Warburton Avenue.
该死 那是我兄弟的辖区 Crap. That's my brother's precinct.
你觉得他会去吗 You think he'll be there?
哦 上帝讨厌我 所以他肯定去 Oh, God hates me, so yes.
是哪个兄弟 帕迪 肖恩还是科林 Which one is it, Paddy, Sean, or Colin?
是帕特里克 除了我们的牧师 It's Patrick, nobody calls him Paddy.
没人叫他帕迪 结果他跟牧师还打了一架 Except for our priest and they don't speak
他们就谁也不理谁了 since the fist fight.
他离婚后过得怎么样 How's he doing since the divorce?
等等 这事该我知道吗 我应该什么都不说吗 Wait, do I know about that? Should I not say anything?
这样吧 你别说话就好 You know what? Just don't talk at all.
他总是想办法嘲笑我 He's always looking for ways to mock me
你这人一开口简直就是给他送弹药 and your whole deal would prove quite irresistible.
12号车请回复 Truck 12 please respond.
12号已经出发 还有点激动 Truck 12 is on it and a little giddy.
我终于见到你的家人了 I finally get to meet your family.
我受不了了 我真的受不了了 I can't. I just can't.
天啊 今天肯定会很愉快的 Gosh. This day's gonna be a delight.
真不敢相信他们居然派你来 I can't believe they stuck me with you.
你居然还能大声说出来 Oh, so we're just saying things out loud now?
因为我也不喜欢你 Cause I am not wild about you, either.
我也很有意见 I got beef.
从春季野餐时我俩组队时就有了 From when they paired us at the spring picnic.
哦 是关于那次三条腿赛跑吗 Oh, is this about the three- legged race?
都一年前的事了 That was a year ago!
我们排名垫底 我活像拖着一具尸体 Last place. It was like dragging a corpse.
我一直跟你说 你得缩短步幅 You gotta take shorter strides! I kept telling you!
嘿 看看这家伙 Hey, look at this guy.
他在海滩上遛狗 He's walking a dog on the beach
就在海滩禁止遛狗的牌子旁边 right by the sign that says"No walking dogs on the beach. "
我看他只是在眺望大海 I think he's just looking out at the ocean.
你还不明白 是吗 - You don't get it, do you? - Mmm- mmm.
这些狗娘养给点阳光就灿烂 Give these sons of bitches an inch, they take a mile.
什么 What?
打扰一下 先生 Excuse me, sir.
你没看到那边的标志吗 Did you not see the sign right there?
遇到不听话的了 开跑吧 Oh, we got one in the sand. Let's roll!
我才不跑呢 I'm not rolling.
先生 先生 站住 先生 先生 Sir, sirl Excuse me, sirl Sir!
嘿 我做完报告了 Hey, I finished my reports. Hey.
其实没什么可做的 There wasn't actually much to do.
因为这是我略施小计 That's'cause it was a ruse.
我们可以花一天时间解开这个谜团 I thought we could spend the day solving the mystery
你的秘密仰慕者是谁 of who your secret admirer is.
我太爱你了 好吧 我先坦白一下 Oh, I love you! Ok, first a confession.
我其实还没做完报告 I didn't actually finish my reports.
没事 That's fine.
你听真实犯罪播客吗 叫松栏杆 Do you listen to Loose Railing, the true crime podcast?
因为我太喜欢听了 Because I'm obsessed.
栏杆是凶手吗 Did the railing do it?
我就不剧透了 不过他们确实破案了 I'm not gonna spoil it for you, but they did solve the crime
因为他们找到了凶手买 by going to the store where the killer got
割鹿刀的那家商店 the deer rendering knife.
天啊 真叫人毛骨悚然 Oh god, that sounds gruesome.
这才是最好的 It is the best.
-不管怎样 我心想 -我想知道附近 Anyways, I thought to myself, I wonder who sells
哪里有卖美味的新西兰小点心 tasty little New Zealand treats nearby.
斯波坎的奥克兰糖果店 Auckland Goodies in Spokane.
我做了很多研究 然后才想到的 I did a lot of research and I came up with,
是啊 跟你说的一模一样 yeah, the exact same thing.
我们打电话吧 Let's call.
这就是他们所说的 陌生电访 This is what they call an "ice cold call".
你好 奥克兰糖果店
嗨我们收到了一篮子你们家乡的糖果 Hi. Um, we received a delightful basket of your native candies.
哈哈 很好吃吧
我们希望你能 Oh- uh, and we were wondering
告诉我们是谁买的 if you could tell us who bought them.
这可不行
他说他不能告诉我们 He's saying he can't tell us.
但我只是想感谢他们 你明白吗 But I just want to be able to thank them. You understand.
我理解 但不行啊 这是生意中不成文的规则
本店的规矩
什么 What?
这是生意中不成文的规矩 It's an unwritten condition of the sale.
商店的规矩 Policy of the store.
抱歉帮不上你 我得遵守行业规范
很抱歉 我听不大懂你说的什么 I'm so sorry, I'm actually- - I'm catching very little.
他得遵守行业规范 He's bound by the ethics-
-规范 -规范 Ethic- - - Ethics.
遵守行业规范 Bound by the ethics of his trade.
他帮不了我们 Oh. He can't help us.
非常感谢你的帮助 再见 Thanks heaps for your help, see ya.
谢谢你 Thank you.
这是个死胡同 That was a dead end.
不 你放弃了才算死胡同 No, cause dead ends are just when you turn the car around.
《栏杆松了》第三季 追车的那集 Loose Railing Season 3 the car chase episode.
对不起 我说话时听得懂吗 p Sorry, can you understand me when I talk?
什么 What?
他来了 小子们 赶紧清理 Here he is, boys. Pack it up.
我说的小子们是指每个人 不是性别歧视你 谢丽尔 I said "boys"meaning everybody. Don't get on my back, Cheryl.
弗兰克 你好吗 How're you doing, Frank?
不错 你呢 Not bad, yourself?
很好 Good.
科琳和我正在处理监护权的事 但是 Colleen and I are sorting out the custody stuff, but uh.
你还是单身吗 you still alone?
那不一定了 嫂子也单着呢吧 It depends. Is Colleen looking?
弗兰克跟我说过你俩谁都不让谁 Wow, Frank told me you guys play for keeps.
我是施莱德 他的搭档 I'm Shred, the partner.
里克怎么了 What happened to Rick?
他走了快三年了 He's been gone for like three years.
你没告诉他我的事吗 Have you not told him about me?
乌龟在哪里 Where's the turtle?
是不是科琳也被乌龟拐跑了 Or did Colleen run off with him, too?
你自从长了个儿 嘴也硬了不少啊 Oh, you've gotten real cocky since your growth spurt.
多么庄严的生物啊 What a majestic creature.
不知它是否知道自己的主人 I wonder if he knows his owner was just busted
刚因倒卖大额海洛因被抓 for selling bricks of heroine.
他都活1O0多岁了 这种事见多了 He's a 100- year- old tortoise. He's seen crazy stuff.
他们竟把它放电视机前 And they put him in front of this TV
这屏幕时间也太了 and that is way too much screen time.
这是加拉帕戈斯龟 它们是濒危物种 It's a Galapagos. They're endangered.
那他是怎么来到这儿的 Well then how'd he get here?
被孩子愿望感召而来的吧 Transported by a child's wish?
拜托 施莱德 他是被偷运进来的 No, Shred, he was smuggled here.
美国不准养这种东西 They're not allowed in this country.
好吧 我有时分不清你是不是在开玩笑 Ok, I don't know when you're being serious sometimes.
我们怎么把他弄出去 How're we gonna get him outta here?
他有3O0磅重 要不要叫帕迪来帮忙 He's like 300 pounds. Should we get Paddy to help?
他在加大洛杉矶分校时是练过赛艇 He was a UCLA rower.
拜托别再谷歌我家人了 You need to stop Googling my family.
不用叫他 去拿绳子 We don't need him. Go get the straps.
西雅图的骄傲啊 各位 Seattle's finest, folks.
妈正在天堂某处为你尴尬呢 Somewhere in heaven mom is embarrassed as hell for you.
说的挺好哈 That's good stuff.
是你的离婚害死了她 你知道的 You know it was your divorce that killed her.
快点走 Keep it moving,
留他独自回味我的挖苦 I wanna get out on that sick burn.
我不想吓到乌龟 I don't wanna freak the tortoise out,
他不习惯高速飞行 he's not used to high speeds.
你连车都没下 You didn't even get out of the truck.
你算哪门子搭档 What the hell kind of partner are you?
临时搭档呗 A temporary one?
根本就不想来这里的搭档 The kind who's here against his will?
你饿吗 我得吃点东西了 Listen, are you hungry? Cause I could eat.
好像饿了 这条街上有一家火辣鸡 Maybe. There's a little spicy chicken place up the street.
凯蒂火辣鸡 Katie's Hot Chicken?
你也知道 You know it?
知道 他家菜单上的警告就是因我而加 Know it? I'm the reason there's a warning on the menu.
嗯 那走吧 Huh. Let's go.
加油 先生 你能行的 Come on, sir. You can do it.
抱歉 对他耐心点 他很老了 Sorry, he's taking his time. He's very old.
我们都为它准备好了 We're all set up for him.
我们刚把孟加拉幼虎转移走 We just moved the Bengal tiger cub.
什么 你这儿还有孟加拉虎 What? You have a Bengal tiger?
是的 Yep.
养这东西也是非法的 Those are also illegal to own.
但这政策你肯定知道 But I don't have to point that out to you
毕竟我们都是同行 你们从哪弄来的 since we're both animal people. Where'd you get him?
我不知道 That I don't know.
那你们这里谁知道 Who here would know?
这个我也不知道 That I also don't know.
你们这里真个草台班子 对吧 You're really setting the world on fire, aren't you?
听着 上班不被咬就是我最大的成就了 Look, I spend most of my days trying not to get bit.
他来了 我们的贵宾 And here he is, the guest of honor.
我挺理解他的 谁愿意从豪宅 In his defense I would not be rushing to move from a mansion
搬进收容所啊 into a refuge.
我想把这段发给我妈 这里wifl密码是什么 I wanna send this to my mom. What's the wifi password?
这个我也不知道 That I don't know, either.
刚才好诡异啊 That was weird, right?
我问到老虎的事儿时 That guy totally clammed up when I started asking
那个人完全不接话 about the tiger.
谁不想炫耀老虎啊 Who doesn't wanna talk about tigers?
老虎多酷啊 Tigers are awesome.
我不知道 I don't know.
他看起来有点不懂状况 He just seemed a little overwhelmed.
在那种环境下工作也专业不起来 Plus, he's not in a great place professionally.
想想看 Think about it.
一大早接收两只非法动物 Two illegal animals in one morning?
总之 很不对劲儿 Something's off.
也许我们该回去问问清楚 Maybe we should go back there and get some answers.
一个唱红脸 一个唱蠢脸 Do a little good cop, dumb cop.
我很佩服你对一件事兴奋到 Ok. I love when you get all excited about something
在边缘游走的地步 and start walking the edge,
但也许该让真正的警察去处理 but maybe just let the real cops handle it?
不 警察都是废物 甚至可能是一伙的 No. The cops are useless. They're probably in on it.
什么 你是说那种腐败俄罗斯套娃吗 What, you mean like a Russian nesting doll of corruption?
太对了 Exactly.
我们的任务 And it's our jobs
在就回中心找到那个小罪犯 to find the tiny little criminal babushka at the centre.
有了新进展 我这边有发现了 There's been a development. I've got something.
发现什么了 Whatcha got?
一个线索 那张纸条 A clue. The note.
我怎么就没早点发现呢 I don't know why I didn't go there earlier.
你看连笔的这个T 笔画非常性感 Look at the cursive "t". There jsa real flourish to it.
哇哦 这个工确实很高级 Oh, wow, yeah. That is a fancy "t".
都有点让人起反应了 It's almost erotic.
这个神秘的男人或女人是谁 Who is this mystery man or woman?
我不知道 但我们找到性感的T I don't know, but I think we find out who writes
是谁写的 就找到了神秘仰慕者 with a sexy "t", we find our admirer.
所以我把这个拿了来 Which is why I have this.
一张早日康复卡 A get well card.
太神了 Exactly.
我们从咱们辖区开始调查 We start our search in the precinct,
让每个人都签名 get everybody to sign it.
对呀 好主意 Oh, yes. That is so good.
我天哪 Oh my gosh!
那这张卡要写给谁呢 Ok, so um, who do we say that it's for?
也许 总台的瑞秋吗 Maybe...uh, Rachel in dispatch?
我觉得她已经快康复了 No, I think she's already in remission.
真该死 Ah, dammit.
看来我们错过机会了 但这是好事 Yeah, I think we missed our window, which is great.
-是件好事 -是的 为她康复感恩 It's a good thing. Yeah, glad that she's better.
那我们继续想 Let's keep thinking, though.
维多利亚从来不让我在车里吃饭 Victoria never lets me eat here.
她说我嘴里的醋味会把车熏臭 She says my vinegar breath stinks up the truck.
你的车要是换班时一点臭味没有 If your car doesn't stink at the end of your shift
说明你工作做得不到位 have you really done your job?
完全正确 That's exactly right.
嗨 亲爱的 Hi honey.
下了舞蹈课我去接吗 I've gotta pick her up from dance?
那要在高峰时间穿越全城啊 That's all the way across town during rush hour.
超堵的 Busy.
不不 我不觉得躺在床上指挥我做事 No, no. I do not think it's easy being on bed rest
有那么简单 真的 and watching me do everything. Literally.
没事 宝贝 我开玩笑的 No, baby I was just- - that was a joke.
嗯 是的 Mmhmm. Yeah.
给我发短信 我来买晚饭 Just text me and I'll pick up dinner.
好的 爱你 再见 Ok. Love you, bye.
愿意为你效劳 我的小姐 Anything for you, my lady.
很抱歉 Sorry.
不用抱歉 Oh, don't be sorry.
我还真有点嫉妒你 I'm actually kinda jealous of what you have.
是吗 具体是哪部分 Oh yeah? Which part exactly?
你知道的 下班有家可回 有孩子 Ah, you know, going home to someone. Kids.
你为什么不成家 Why don't you have a family?
个人因素 有点个人因素在 Personal. A little personal.
抱歉 咱俩不是在增进感情吗 Sorry, I thought we were bonding.
我以为这是一个了解你 I thought I'd use this as an opportunity
内心深处人性的机会 to find some actual humanity in you,
不过也没事 也许里面啥都没有 but, you know, it's fine, maybe there's nothing there.
我经历过一场不堪的离婚 I had a brutal divorce.
我老婆背着我 跟我表弟乱搞 My wife cheated on me with my cousin.
现在他们有两个孩子了 也就是我以前的表侄 Now they have two kids who are my first cousins once removed.
远方表侄 Sec- second cousins.
我不知道具体是个啥 I don't know. They're something.
开什么玩笑 Are you kidding me right now?
女士 女士 Ma'am! Ma'am!
怎么了 Yeah?
你不能牵着狗在海滩上跑步 Yeah, you can't run with your dog on the beach.
我知道 但这是医疗服务犬 Oh, yeah, no, I know, but this is a medical service dog.
我需要看一下证件 I need to see your license.
对不起 我忘带了 Sorry, I forgot it.
你忘了 先别走 Oh, you did. Uh, excuse me...
认真地吗 好吧 行 Uh, oh. Seriously? Ok. Alright.
你要去追吗 You're gonna go run?
你不来了 You're not coming?
我不去 No, I'm not coming.
我刚跟你说了我离婚的事 I just told you about my divorce.
你不能打离婚牌 You can't play the divorce card!
我每年夏天在湖边别墅都能听到他们做爱 I hear them every summer at the lake house.
我表兄叫床的声音在我耳畔盘旋 I'm haunted by the sounds of my cousin's love making.
女士 女士 Ma'am! Ma'am!
请你站住 我这靴子跑不了步 女士 Can you please...These boots are not fun to run in, ma'am.
但怎么能确定不是她呢 And how do we know that it's not her?
她什么事都告诉我 She just tells me everything she does.
贝蒂妮 我们需要你帮助 Uh, Bettany, we need your help.
随时恭候 Anything.
你得请病假回家 We need you to go home sick.
我们想让每个人给你签一张康复卡 We want everyone to sign a get well card for you.
好嘞 没问题 Ncw Ok, you got it.
就这些吗 没后续提问之类吗 That's it? No follow up questions?
你想让我吐在废纸篓里 Oh, you want me to throw up in a wastebasket or something
演得可信点吗 to sell it?
不 不 No. No...
感觉有必要耶 It feels necessary.
-不 不用 -拜托不要 不要 No, don't. - Please don't. Please don't.
你可以回家了 You can just go home.
好吧 我这就走 Alright, I'm out.
太好了 Great.
再见 Ok. See ya.
嘿 我跟其他辖区的人谈过 Hey. I talked to the other precincts.
他们过去个月没收了 There have been seven illegal animals confiscated
7只非法动物 in the last three months.
在巴拉德收了只豹猫 木兰没收了一只东京猴 An ocelot in Ballard, a Tonkin monkey in Magnolia,
在雷尼尔海滩带走了一只野猪 and a javelina at Rainier Beach.
我们好像无意中撞上了惊天秘密 We have stumbled onto something big.
而且 我知道纱线形状呈五角星 Also, I'm aware that the yarn forms a pentagram
我相信这只是巧合 我觉得 which I think is unintentional. I think.
好吧 这个我喜欢 Ok. I love this.
但确定这不是你的主观臆想吗 But I do wonder if maybe you're going a little crazy
毕竟你没啥证据 based on not a lot of evidence.
会有证据的 等我拿到这些地址登记人的 I'll have the evidence once I get the background checks
背景调查就有了 也就是说 on the owners of these addresses, which means
我得让我哥帕特里克帮个忙 I have to ask my brother, Patrick, for a favor.
理想情况下 我可以对他展开勒索 In a perfect world I would blackmail him for it
但这个世界总归不理想 but we don't live in a perfect world.
帕特里克 我有二次机会给他留个好印象了 Patrick? A second chance to make a first impression.
嘿 大家听好了 Hey, everyone.
贝蒂尼请病假回家了 我们办公室所有员工 Um, so Bettany had to go home sick and we are getting everyone
要给她签一张早日康复卡 in the office to sign this get well card for her.
施莱德 Shred?
哦好的 Oh, yeah.
-她病了 -她病的 - She's ill. Oh, she is so...
-非常严重 -我天哪 Seriously ill. Oh my gosh.
是的 错了 Yeah, no.
错了 抱歉 这个词不是这么拼的吗 No? Sorry, is that not how you spell Pedialite?
弗兰克 Frank?
贝蒂尼是谁 Who's Bethany?
贝蒂尼啊 前台小妹 Bettany. The receptionist.
我都不认识人家 这么做太假了 I hardly know her. It'd be insincere.
康复卡而已 又不是让你签合同 签就行了 It's not a legally binding get well card, just sign it,
这么不合群呢 you crotchety loner.
好的 Ok.
祝你身体健康 永远的好朋友 弗兰克·肖 "Get well, besties for life. Frank Shaw. "
错了 No
顺便哈 Oh, and for the record,
我去年得了轻度肺炎 I had walking pneumonia last year
你们可什么都没做 and you guys didn't do crap.
站住 站住 Stopl Stopl
听着 我们让你停下了 Ok, when we...when we tell you.
你看不到标志吗 There's a...there's a sign!
我们是执法部门的 We are...in uniform.
我刚吃了很多辣鸡腿 伙计 I ate so much chicken, man.
证件在我家你们说怎么办吧 The license is back at my place. What do you wanna do?
想在这里等我去拿吗 Do you wanna wait here and Ill go get it?
我们去22区动物管控局等你 We'll wait at Animal Control Precinct 22.
把文件带过来 我就把狗还你 And when you show me the license you get the dog back.
你开玩笑吧 You're kidding.
天啊 我感觉很难受 Oh, man, I don't feel good.
好的 走吧 Ok. Come on.
等等 什么 Wait, what?
你们不能把我狗带走 Hey, you can't take my dog!
什么 What?
你居然带走了她的狗 I can't believe you took her dog.
我们必须立个威才行 We have to send a message.
谁都能说自己家狗子是医疗服务犬 You can't just say your pet's a service dog,
瞧瞧咱这破衣服 一点震慑力都没有 look at this ragamuffin. That's no hero.
你怎么了 What happened to you?
嘿 你听到了吗 你还好吗 Hey, did you hear that? Oh, are you ok?
我就是头有点晕 I just got really lightheaded.
什么 Um...what?
瞧这聪明劲儿 这不是一般狗啊 Look at this. That's not normal.
远超一般狗 That's better.
我是糖尿病患者 一般手表会提醒 I'm a diabetic. Usually my watch warns me.
糖尿病 Diabetic?
嘿 还给他拿了条毯子 Hey. He's got a blanket, too.
什么鬼 这毯子哪儿来的 What? Where did that even come from?
这家伙一定是医疗服务犬 This guy must be a medical service dog.
你有大麻烦了 Oh, you're in big trouble.
我们 我们搭档办案的 We. We're partners.
不不不 那是你 No, no, no. You.
我想待在车里吃辣鸡腿 I wanted to stay in the truck and eat hot chicken.
你们好啊 What's up?
爸 没想到会在这看到你 Dad, I didn't expect you to be here.
这是托尼餐厅 警察终身七折 It's Tony's. Cops get 30 percent off for life.
要我给你点什么吗 Want me to order you something?
芝士汉堡不加芝士么 One of your cheeseburgers without the cheese?
他有乳糖不耐症 He's lactose intolerant.
不是不耐 我只是不喜欢融掉的芝士 I'm not intolerant, I just don't like it melted.
芝士汉堡不加芝士 A cheeseburger without the cheese
就叫汉堡 傻小子 is a hamburger, numb nuts.
这家伙 总喜欢搞特殊 This guy, always with the special orders.
你俩闭嘴 Hey, just shut it, you two.
我听说你抓了只龟犯人 I heard you collared a perp turtle.
感谢您为国效力 A grateful nation thanks you for your service.
我去 熊爸也在 Holy crap. It's Papa Bear.
我叫你在车里等着了 I told you to wait in the truck.
这是谁 Who's this?
我是施莱德 长官 是他搭档 I'm Shred, sir. The partner.
里克那小子呢 What happened to Rick?
你是不是根本没向你家人提过我 Have you told no one in your family about me?
我需要你帮个忙 Look, I need a favor.
帮我查个案件背景 我保证 Run a background check for me and I promise
你下次监护权听证会 会帮你做品德证人 I'll be a character witness at your next custody hearing.
行 把那只袋鼠的全名告诉我就行 Ok. I'm just gonna need the full name of the kangaroo.
是斯蒂芬·彼得·费海提 It's Stephen Peter Flaherty.
不 Don't!
想都别想 你敢提费海提神父 Don't even. Don't mention Father Flaherty.
那是我上过最好的坚信礼 Oh, well for me it was the best confirmation ever.
够了 Enough!
我只想安静吃个芝士汉堡 I'm trying to eat my frickin'cheeseburger
两个傻逼给我搞合唱 and I got the knucklehead choir going here.
哇 感觉就像在你家做客吃饭 Wow, it's like I'm at your kitchen table.
查个名字就行 马格南 Just run the names, Magnum.
你已经不是警察了 You're not a cop anymore.
别再做你的春秋大梦了 Stop acting like it.
爸 那你呢 你还是有点影响力的 Dad, how about you? You still got some pull, right?
我做不到 I can't do it.
说的不对 我不会帮你的 Well, actually that's not true. I won't do it.
爸爸 我真是谢谢你 Dad, I wanna thank you
因为你就是个负能量黑洞 for being a withholding black hole of negativity.
帕特里克 Patrick. Hmm?
大家都知道 你去年在星巴克丢了枪 Everybody knows you lost your gun at a Starbucks last year.
不实 信息不实 That's not true. That's not true.
信息不实 Not truel
切 去他俩的 You know what, screw those guys.
我一个人就能完成证据闭环 I can bring this ring down on my own.
我只要搞些监控设备就行 All I need is some surveillance equipment.
无人机 丛林服 脉冲手榴弹 A drone, a ghillie suit for the woods, pulse grenades,
c4炸药 C- 4 explosives...
没错 是的 太对了 Yeah. Yep, totally.
但我还是想重申一下 Um, hey, but just to circle back.
这也许仅存于你脑中 并不真正存在 You may be seeing something that's not there.
绝对存在 我直觉很敏锐的 Oh, it's there. My senses are sharpened.
操 我闯红灯了 Oh, I blew a stop sign. Oops.
好吧 Ok, yeah.
不过 你要是感兴趣 我倒有个想法 But um, I- I have a theory if you're interested.
你上一个想法是 所有口香糖 Well, your last theory was that all gum
都是一个味儿的 所以算了 was the same flavor so no.
好吧 会不会你内心有个小小念头 Ok, well is it possible there isn't some small part of you
想向他们证明 你才是肖家真正的儿子 that wants to prove to them that you're a real Shaw.
一个真正的警察 就像你堂兄丹尼一样 A real cop. Like your cousin Denny.
愿他安息 May he rest in peace.
真后悔向你透露我家情况 I regret ever telling you anything about my family,
丹尼也不是因公殉职 and Denny did not go down in a line of duty.
他是自缢性窒息 It was autoerotic asphyxiation.
我以为康复卡片真会有用的 I really thought the card thing was gonna work.
怎么跟《栏杆松了》里演得不一样 This is just not cracking like it does on Loose Railing.
好郁闷啊 I feel bummed.
这感觉好奇怪 Which is weird for me.
像是 我在期待爱情吗 还是某种特殊的感觉 Like, am I looking for romance? Or something special?
是吗 Are you?
我不知道 我期待吗 I don't know! Am I?
我不知道 I don't know.
我还没打算放弃呢 I'm not ready to give up just yet.
好啊 Ok.
想去喝一杯 再来个头脑风暴么 Do you wanna get a drink and brainstorm?
太想了 Definitely.
我其实 我要坦白一件事 Um, actually I have a...I have a little confession to make.
天啊 不会是你吧 Oh God, it's not you, is it?
不是 No.
不是吗 No?
但是 But.
我天呐 不会吧 "Oh god"? Really?
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
不 我本想说我把你留在办公室 No. I was gonna say I kinda kept you here at the office
是因为我觉得我们平常相处不够 cause I feel like we haven't been hanging out as much.
你知道 自从里克的事后 Like, since Rick I just
哇哦 Awe.
你真可爱 我喜欢一起玩 That's so cute. I love hanging out.
你要放弃那个奇怪的弗兰克小项目了 Are you giving up on whatever weird little Frank project
你不都研究好久了吗 you've got going on?
是啊 但被大家批评蠢 Yeah. As they say, it was stupid.
牵扯到纱线的东西都挺蠢 Most things involving yarn usually are.
怎么回事 What happened?
我又让自己白担心了一场 I got myself worked up over nothing...again.
跟那次以为施莱德在嗑耐信一样 Like when I thought Shred was in Nexium.
总之 康复卡骗局的结果如何 Whatever. How's your get well card scam?
我早该想到你能看穿的 I should have figured that you'd see right through that.
也就是说 我也许聪明地隐藏了自己的笔迹 Which means I'm smart enough to hide my real handwriting.
哦 不会吧 Oh, no...
你真觉得我会做的这么明显嘛 Do you really think I would do something as obvious
还送你新西兰小吃 as send you New Zealand snacks?
我不知道 I don't know.
我有这么不了解你吗 I think I know you a little better than that.
好吧 小变态 Ok. Creeper.
变态 Creeper?
下面就是狂风骤雨了 Time to face the music.
天 Oh God.
或者 我们可以把狗拴门上 留张纸条 Or we could tie the dog up and just leave a note.
对啊 这样更有勇敢 Yes. That's more courageous.
因为这事对她也尴尬 Cause this is awkward for her, too.
-是啊 -对吗 Yes. - Right?
我来写字条 I got a note here.
对不起 坦普尔顿·达奇警官和阿米特·帕特尔警官 "Apologies, Officers Templeton Dudge and Amit Patel. "Here.
-别把我的名字写上去 -已经写上了 No, don't put my name on it. It's already on it.
-你把我名字写上去了吗 -走吧 - Did you put my name on it? - Let's go.
快点 快快 Hurry up. Go, go!
我腿抽筋了 我腿抽筋了 Ooh, ooh, my hamstring, my hamstring.
动不了了 动不了了 It's seized up! It's seized up!
-有我在 -好的 - Hey, I got you. Okay.
把你的脚放我腿上 跟我走 Put your foot on my foot. Follow me.
先迈里面的腿 Inside first.
快 走吧 我就知道你有潜力 Now, go! I knew you had another gear.
上次野餐怎么没开发出来 Where was this at the picnic?
嘿 我在这儿 Hey! Over here in the shadows!
-收容所那家伙 -该死 - Refuge guy? - Damn.
你干嘛躲在黑暗里 Why are you hiding in the dark?
因为这里好藏身啊 好吧 之前是 It's a great hiding spot. Well, it was.
总之 我们来了一只科莫多巨蜥 Anyway, there's a Komodo dragon coming in.
什么时候 When?
他们啥都没告诉我 但你的见解很有益 They don't tell me anything! But you are onto something.
我下回再来偷偷找你 I'll sneak up on you later.
该死 Dammit!
谢了 收容所那家伙 Thanks, refuge guyl
我叫特里 兄弟 It's Terry, man!
我没有太多线索 I don't have much to go on.
这对我而言已经足够 That's more than enough for me.
对了 要开车送你吗 Oh, do you want a ride?
不用了 我叫优步了 No thanks, I Ubered.
这家伙打算买下我全部的激光光盘 This guy's gonna buy all my laser discs
但要用加密货币付款 but he's gonna pay me in- - in crypto.
不许动 Freezel
我在开玩笑啦 I'm just kidding.
介意我跟你们一起吃吗 Uh, mind if I join you?
你哪位 Who are you?
不愧是你 Classic.
我是施莱德 It's Shred.
施莱德 Shred?
不是里克 Not Rick.
弗兰克的生日快到了 Frank's got a birthday coming up,
我想办个卡拉ok主题的小派对 I'm thinking a little karaoke- themed party,
你要是有什么爱唱的歌 so if you have a favorite song
我想留出时间让你们平时多练练 I want to give you time to work on your routines.
弗兰克快过生日了 Frank's got a birthday coming up?
等等 你问我 Wait, you're asing me?
天 这个家比我想的要黑暗得多 Wow. So much darker than I realized.
总之 理想状态下 Anyway, perfect world,
我们四个可以合唱一首基督教青年会 I see all four of us doing a little YMCA, right?
谁来唱警察 不是我 Who's gonna be the cop? Not me.
其他的都在桌面上了 Everything else is on the table.
听着 你是个善良的孩子 Yeah, um, hey, look. You are a really nice kid.
谢谢你 Thank you.
所以我给你十秒钟滚出去 So I'm gonna give you 10 seconds to get out.
-九 -什么 Nine. - What?
八 七 六 Eight. Seven. Six.
八 七 六 Eight. Seven. Six,
我们还没定好做什么 We haven't decided yet what we're doing.
你已经知道做什么了 You already know what you're doing.
-四 -快滚 Four Go.
三 二 一 Three. Two. One.
《仪表盘灯旁的天堂》 - Paradise by the Dashboard Light.
-啥 -咱俩一起唱 What? - You and me.